Author: Hey people!!! Okay, I admit, I wrote this story when I didn't sleep for two nights, so that's why it's so stupid It's just completely crazy! Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy it!!!
Sleeping Beauty
Once upon a time in a Far Away Kingdom lived a Queen and a King that wanted to have a child very, very much. Their wish had finally come true, they had a beautiful baby daughter (that strangely didn't resemble either of her parrents). They convened a big christning and invited many people. They also invited three Good Fairies as her godmothers. The two Fairies entered the palace and said their greetings to the Queen and King.
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AngelNess: Wait... WHERE IS THE THIRD FAIRY?! (looks around the stage)
#5 and #2: (shrug their arms)
A: (turns to the door of the chaingingrooms) GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!!!
#4: (yells from behind the door) AH WON'T PLAY THE CRUDY FAIRY!!! YEUH WON'T FORCE ME!!!
A: I WON'T REPEAT MYSELF! GET OUT HERE!!!
(the door opened and #4, in VERY pink dress and garland of flowers on his head, comes out everyone stay in silence a longer silence everyone starts laughing very loudly)
#3: (a loud squeak) AAAAAA!!!! You look sooo CUUUTE!!!!
#4: WHY THE HELL DO AH HAVE TO BE THE CRUDY FAIRY?!
#2: YEAH! AND WHY DO I HAVE TO PLAY A FAIRY TOO?!
A: Because I didn't have anyone else, and it's funny.
#4: NO ET'S NOT!!! AH'M NOT GONNAH PLAY THE STUPID FAIRY!!! AH'M GOIN' HOME!!! (lifts his dress and turns to the door)
A: Oh no you're not (approaches #4) Because if ya won't play... then... (starts to whisper something in his ear)
#4: (turns red) EEEh! But in CASE yeuh haven't notice; Ah'm not a girl!!!
A: Then you'll be... a Fairy-boy
#4: OKAY... FINE! (angirly comes back on the stage)
#2: And what about me? I'm a boy too!!!
A: Okay okay, you too! Happy now?
#2: That's better.
A: Okay then, shall we continue?
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And so the THREE Fairies (two Fairy-boys) entered the palace and said their greetings to the Queen and the King. When the christening was over the fairies begun giving their gifts to the Princess. The first gave her for gift that she should be the most beautiful person in the world; the second that she should have the wit of an angel. When it came turn for third Fairy suddenly the happy moment was interrupted by a VERY noisy (and annoying) laughter of a Bad Witch that suddenly appeared in the palace out of nowhere, and noone knows when, not to mention that she wasn't even invited.
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Lizzie: HEY!!! I WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE BAD WITCH?!!!
A: Because you're born for that role... Um... I mean... you look perfect in this... dress! (laughts nervously)
L: REALLY? (lookes at her suspiciously)
A: Yeah, sure, now get back to your lines!!!
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So the Bad Witch laughed evily and approached the Princess's cradle. She said that she's very angry that she wasn't invited to the christning. The Queen answered that she heard that the Witch doesn't like any parties like that. The Witch agreed but she explained that she hates even more being ignored. Then she laughed again (causing everyone to cover their ears) and gave her 'gift' to the Princess.
"When you're sixteen, you'll injure yourself with a spindle and die" she said and laughed.
"Oh no!" screamed the Queen in horror.
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#86: Do I really need to look so desperate?
A: YES!!! stop complaining already!!!
#5: (whisperes to #2) Hey, how long is this gonna take? Numbuh 5 can't stand this dress...
#2: Don't ask me, I have on idea...
A: WHAT ARE THOSE WHISPERES ON THE STAGE?!
#5 and #2: (turn to her a bit scared) Ops... sorry...
A: Stop talking already and get back to the play!
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The Bad Witch dissapeared leaving all the people in shock and the Queen crying desperately. That's when the third Fairy-boy came up and... tripped on the floor.
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A: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE?!
#4: (lying on the floor tangled in his dress) AH CAN'T WALK IN THOSE SHOES!!!
A: Ah... (slappes her forehead) Okay, let's just get back to the play...
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So when the Fairy-boy picked up herself (himself?) she calmed down the Queen and the King a bit. She said that she can't undo the Witch's spell but she can change it. She said that the Princess will injure herself with the spindle but she won't die, she'll just fall into a deep sleep. She did as she said and did a few strange moves with her PINK wand, and changed the Witch's spell. The King, to avoid the misfortune foretold by the Bad Witch, caused immediately proclamation to be made, whereby everybody was forbidden, on pain of being decommissioned, to spin with a distaff and spindle, or to have so much as any spindle in their houses. Then he started to grumble something about how stupid this all is and how he's too good to be the King in some stupid and small Kingdom.
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A: What?! There shouldn't be anything like that in here!!!
#274: But that's true... I AM too good to play the King, I should get the main role! I should be the Prince!
A: But YOU'RE NOT!!! So shut up and play!
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And so the years went by, the little Princess grew and became the most beautiful girl in the whole Kingdom. Her mother was always very careful to keep her away from spindles, but as the Princess bounced happily, through the castle, singing, on her sixteenth birthday (she was too busy with singing that she wasn't looking where she's going), she was going up from one apartment to another, she came into a little room on the top of the tower where an old servant was spinning. This good woman had never heard of the King's proclamation against spindles.
"What are you doing?" the Princess asked the servant in a singsong voice.
"I am spinning, my pretty child" said the Old Woman, who did not know who the Princess was "Haven't you seen a spindle before?".
"No. Let me see it! Let me see it!" the Princess screamed happily with impatience, jumping.
"Okay, okay, just calm down..." said the Old Woman and passed her the spindle.
She had no sooner taken it into her hand than, whether being very hasty at it, or that the decree of the Witch had so ordained it, it ran into her hand, she pricked herself with it and fell down in a swoon. The Old Woman shruged her arms and drunk a bit of juice.
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A: HEY!!! The old woman should be worried!!!
#30C: But I am not an old woman...
A: You are now!!! So GET YOUR LAZY BUT FROM THIS SEAT AND GO TO THE QUEEN!!!
#30C: Oh, okay... (gets up grumbling something under his breath)
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So the Old Woman, not knowing very well what to do in this affair, cried out for help, in strangely man-like voice. Then terrified, she hurried to tell the Queen. With anguish, the Queen did her best to awaken her daughter. She shook her as much as she could, and in one moment even, it seemed that the Princess said something, but they all thought it was just their imagination and ignored it. And now the King, who came up at the noise, bethought himself of the prediction of the Fairy-boy, and, judging very well that this must necessarily come to pass, since the Fairy had said it, caused the Princess to be carried into the finest apartment in his palace, and to be laid upon a bed all embroidered with gold and silver. The court doctors and wizards were called, but there was nothing they could do. When they only touched her she started to shaiking strangely. But anyway the girl could not be wakened from her deep sleep. The good Fairy-boy who managed to avoid the worst of the curse came too, and the Queen said to her:
"When will my daughter waken?"
"How should Ah know?" the Fairy-boy said angirly.
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A: Numbuh 4!!!!!!!
#4: WHA'? How should Ah know?
A: Stick to your lines!!! And you were supposed to be sad!
#4: Oh, okay okay... (grumbles under his breath) Stupid girl with her stupid play (a really BIG book hits his head and he falls to the floor)
A: I HEARD THAT!!!
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"I don't know" the Fairy-boy admitted sadly.
"In a year's time, ten years or twenty?" the Queen went on.
"Maybe in a hundred years' time. Who knows?" said the Fairy-boy.
"Oh! What would make her waken?" asked the Queen weeping.
"Love." replied the Fairy. "If a stupid man of pure heart were to fall in love with her, that would bring her back to life." The Fairy-boy stayed in silence for a while. "Who wrote this shit?!" she said.
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A: HEY!!!
#4: But this is a crudy fairy story!!! About a stupid love and all tha shit!!! This makes meh sick!
A: I said stick. to. your. lines!!! Or do ya want me to... (whisperes in his ear)
#4: (says through cleanched teeth) OKAY!!!
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"How can a man fall in love with a sleeping girl?" sobbed the Queen. Though it rather sounded more like giggling. Anyway, she was very worried about her little angel. The Fairy-boy was worried too and she thought that when the Princess should finally awake she might not know what to do with herself, being all alone in this old palace; and this was what she did: she punched with her PINKY wand everyone in the palace (except the King and Queen) -- governesses, maids of honor, ladies of the bedchamber, gentlemen, officers, stewards, cooks, undercooks, scullions, guards, with their beefeaters, pages, footmen; she likewise punched all the horses which were in the stables, pads as well as others, the great dogs in the outward court and pretty little Mopsey too, the Princess's little spaniel, which lay by her on the bed.
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A: What? What is this dog doing in here?!
#3: (sits up on the bed) I found him when I was walking here Isn't he cuuute?!
A: Ah!!! But there wasn't suppsed to be any dog in this play!
#3: Oh please, please, please, please!!! (hugs the dog)
A: Oh, okay. But it'll better not disturb in here!
#3: Oh, thanks!!!
A: Okay, just lay down on your bed already!!!
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Immediately upon her punching them they all fell asleep, that they might not awake before their mistress and that they might be ready to wait upon her when she wanted them.
"Now," thought the Fairy, "when the crudy Princess wakes up, they too will awaken, and the boring life will go on from there." And she left the Castle, stamping angirly, the castle that now was wrapped in silence. And now the King and the Queen, having kissed their dear child without waking her, went out of the palace and put forth a proclamation that nobody should dare to come near it. The proclamation said: The Princess is very ugly so don't waste your time.
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#3: (sits up on the bed) HEEEEY!!!
A: Who wrote that?!
#274: This is more funny
#3: But I'm not ugly!!!
A: Ehhh... Of course you're not, forget about it. You and you! (points at #274 & #86) Get off the stage! And you! (points at #3) Lay down on this bed and sleep already!
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SO! The years sped past. In the castle grounds, the trees grew tall. The bushes became thick and straggling, the grass invaded the courtyards and the creepers spread up the walls. In a hundred years, a dense forest grew up.
Now, it so happened that a Prince arrived in these parts. He was the son of a king in a country close by. Young, handsome and melancholy, with strange, not from that century sunglasses, he sought in solitude everything he could not find in the company of other men: serenity, sincerity and purity.
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#4: HEY! Why HE is the Prince?! Why Ah can't be the Prince?!
A: You're too short to be the Prince.
#4: And that's tha only reason?! Ah'm too short?!
A: Um... yeah...
#4: This is stupid!!!
A: Shut up and let him play!
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Wandering on his trusty steed he arrived, one day, at the Dark Forest on his horse.
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Tommy: Why do I have to be the horse?!
A: Um... because I didn't have anyone else for this role...
T: But I don't wanna be the horse!!!
A: Oh come on, I'll buy you some... ice-cream!
T: No way!!! You already bought me! I'm not gonna be the horse! I'm going home!!!
A: A! Hey wait!!! (the response is only the sound of slaming door) Eh... (lowers her head helplessly)
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Okay, so the Prince came ON FOOT to the Dark Forest. Being adventurous, and bacause he had nothing else to do and he was a 'man of action' he decided to explore it. He made his way through slowly and with a struggle, for the trees and bushes grew in a thick tangle. A few hours later, now losing heart, he was about to go back when he thought he could see something through the trees . . . He pushed back the branches . . . but he still couldn't see what it was, because he was too short, so he jumped a few times... Wonder of wonders! There in front of him stood a castle with high towers. The young man stood still in amazement.
"I wonder who this castle belongs to?" he thought.
The young Prince walked towards the castle. The drawbridge was down so he crossed over it. Immediately he saw the inhabitants draped all over the steps, the halls and courtyards, and said to himself:
"Good heavens! They're dead!" But in a moment, as he heard loud snoring he realised that they were asleep. "Wake up! Wake up!" he shouted, but nobody moved. So he decided to ignore them. Still very astonished, he went into the castle and again discovered more people, lying asleep on the floor. As though led by a hand in the complete silence, the Prince finally reached the room where the Beautiful Princess lay fast asleep. For a long time he stood gazing at her face, so full of serenity, so peaceful, lovely and pure, after a while he... yawned, and made a bored expression. He remembered that all the Princes have love they had always been searching for and never found. Because he felt... bored with looking at the Princess, he went closer and leaned to kiss her. Perhaps this could wake her up. But then suddenly felt something was dragging him away. He turned his head to see the Fairy-boy standing behind him and dragging him by his clothes.
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A: HEY!!! What are you doing?!
#4: But he can't kiss her!!!
A: Oh come on! It's only a play!!! You don't have to be so jealous!
#4: turns red Ah Am Not Jealous!!!
A: Yeah, right... and I am Napoleon...
#4: (turns more red) (everyone starts giggling) AH AM NOT JEALOUS!!!
A: Oh! Of course you are! I know the truth!!! Everyone knows it!
#4: (makes sad eyes) But yeuh promissed that you won't tell anyone ef Ah play the crudy Fairy...
A: I didn't tell anyone.
#4: Yeuh just did!
A: Oh really? Ops... okay let's get back to the play then.
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So the Prince ignored the Fairy-boy and leaned again to kiss the Beautiful Princess. But before he did that, suddenly the Princess sat up and moved him away.
"I don't wanna kiss you" she said.
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A: What are you doing?!!! The Princess is supposed to be asleep!!!.
#3: But I don't want to kiss Numbuh 1!
A: Would you guys stop complaining already?!
#1: But do I really need to kiss her?
A: Yes, you do!!! That's what this story is about!
#1: But I don't wanna kiss her...
A: Stop babbling already!!!
#5: But he can't kiss her!
A: Oh no, you too?! Don't start it all over!!! We already talked about this! You're driving me crazy!!! I can't work with you!!! (turns to look at the stage)
#1-5: (looking at her angirly in silence comming closer)
A: Hey... what are you doing... (moves away)
#1-5: (smiling strangely) (coming closer)
A: (makes a scared expression) Oh no, please you guys, calm down...
#1-5: (take out a rope)
A: Oh! No! Please! Don't! AHHHHHH!!!! (sitting in a corner gagged and tied to a chair) Mpfh!!!
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So the Princess suddenly woke up and foud herself in love with the Fairy-boy and they left the castle leaving the Prince all alone. Then suddenly all the people in the palace got up babbling something about how the floor is uncomfortable. Then out of nowhere appeared the first Fairy and approached the Prince. She suggested that she can be his fiancee instead of the Princess. He thought she was even more beautiful than the Princess and he fell in love with her. They kissed and left the palace.
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A: Huh?! Mphfffffff!!!! HMF!!! Pffffh!!!!
#1-5: Ah, shut up!
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So the Princess married the Fairy-boy (who changed his clothes to more boy-styled). The Prince married the Good Fairy (the Bad Witch tried to disturb their wedding but they gave her some candy and she gave it up and went back home). The third chubby Fairy (Fairy-boy as well, to be more percise) found herself happy building planes (so what that there was no such thing as plane in those times) so she opened the airplane factory. And everyone lived happily ever after, as they always do in fairy tales.
THE END
AngelNess
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Ehem... and how did ya like it? Hehehe, you surely think now: What's that supposed to be? 0o But hey! Don't look at me! It's not I who made me sleepless... XD