Bishop is owned by Obsidian, as should obviously be stated. And while Bishop is a guilty pleasure of mine, I do recognize that his bickerings with the paladin over the affections of the female player character are kinda... childish. Doesn't stop me from adoring the bastard anyway. But it did plant a story idea in my head for a short little wisp of a ficlet. What's happens if the Knight Captain who had flirted with him so heavily realized what a jerk he could be and turned to other men instead?
--
She smiled as the half-orc graciously bowed. Bishop couldn't quite believe what he was seeing-- the half-orc's tunic was ill-adjusted, and he sauntered off with a self-satisfied air. The Knight Captain, on the other hand, stood in her doorway, grinning. Her hair was a mess, and she looked like... like...
"So tell me, Captain, what was that all about?"
Her eyes trailed away from the retreating half-orc, and settled on the ranger instead. "What was what about?"
"Don't play games. The half-orc? Your quarters? It's morning?"
"Vrahg spent the night."
"Oh, he spent the night, did he? And I suppose your stupid grin is from his bear impressions, yeah?"
"Bishop, please. It's early. I don't want to have to deal with your territorial pissings right now."
"My...? You really are a whore. Who's next, then? The paladin?
Her nose wrinkled as she grimaced. "I have standards, Bishop."
"Do you really, now? Could have fooled me. What's that half-orc got that I don't?"
Her look became incredulous. "You really want to know?"
Verbally cornered, Bishop wasn't about to back down. "Yeah."
"He beat me at fidchell."
"He beat you... at a board game?"
"Yes."
"A board game?"
"That's what I said."
"Sand plays fidchell! You could have played him instead! Or would that require you to shed your clothes on losing to him, too?"
"Sand is a prodigy at that game-- he's way beyond my level. Novices don't learn much by being trounced by those with a hundred times their skill. Besides, in answer to your question, elves aren't my style. Vrahg and I had a very close game."
"Close indeed! So all somone needs to do if they want to get under your armor is beat you at fidchell? You're easy. Get the board; I'll play you."
She paused a moment before responding, "No."
"What? Why?"
"Someone also has to treat me like a person, first."
"You whore! I--"
"I'm tired, Bishop. I'm going to take at least a short nap. Maybe if you were kind enough to bring me some tea when I woke, I'd reconsider." With that, she shut her door, leaving Bishop to gape in the hallway.
--
Fidchell is actually an ancient Celtic board game. It fit better than "chess" or "mancala" in the story, so I used it instead.