Hello everyone! This is my first fanfic that I've ever actually uploaded anywhere. I apologize for the lack of update, but I'm working as hard as I can on that right now. *le sigh~ You know how life is. Thank you to everyone who's favorited, reviewed, and watched so far. I honestly didn't think this would get any notes, and each time I got an email from FF I started to smile uncontrollably.

Disclaimer: If I owned Hetalia, Prussia would be in every goddamn episode.

Honestly, I don't even own the plot line. One of my fantastic friends came up with it, and we both wrote fanfics on it (her's being far better). So, I dedicate this fanfic to her, for having awesome headcannons, somehow putting up with me, and for letting me play with her hair.

By the description, you're probably not going to touch this fic with a ten foot pole. So, is this a death fic?

Spoiler Alert: it's not.

Gilbert closed his eyes, leaned his chin down, and took a deep, stabilizing breath. He reached over and found Roderick's hand on the bench and gave it a firm squeeze. This was the day Prussia would finally be dissolved. Gilbert had no idea what would happen. Would he disappear like Germania and Holy Rome, or would he be able to choose? Roderick, equally scared, also feared the worst for Gilbert. Roderick took the hand that wasn't clasped to Gilbert's and laid it on his shoulder.

"I thought you said you were awesome! Besides, it would take more than just this to get rid of you. " Roderick really had no idea what would happen, but he didn't like seeing the albino in such despair. Gilbert lifted his head and opened his eyes to offer Roderick a weak smile.

"Yea, I suppose you're all gonna' be stuck with the awesome me." Roderick rolled his eyes and turned away from Gilbert, his hand sliding off the other's shoulder. The other European countries were in the World Meeting Room signing papers that may or may not insure Gilbert's demise. Roderick had signed for Austria yesterday, having decided to be with Gilbert in what might be his last few moments. Roderick really hoped he wouldn't disappear. The Austrian had surprisingly grown to enjoy the albino's boisterous company. However annoying it got, Roderick was glad someone had ever even tried that hard to be his friend. Roderick jolted out of his thoughtful stance when he heard Gilbert let out a loud yawn beside him. He's probably been up all night, Roderick thought.

"Lie down, get some rest. I'll still be here when you wake up." Gilbert gave him a grateful smile and stretched out on the cushioned bench, placing his head on Roderick's lap. Roderick awkwardly placed his hand on his head and began to run his fingers through his hair. This is, he's actually quite soft. Not that Roderick knew what he expected. The albino was eccentric and bored easily, but he still kept personal hygiene in mind. Pretty soon the Austrian could hear soft, steady breathing coming from the Prussian. Well, ex-Prussian if everything gets worked out in there. Roderick looked at the double doors across from where he sat and contemplated running in there and ripping up all of the contracts. Before he had time to even contemplate this absurd idea, the doors opened and the other European nations solemnly walked out. Germany, Ludwig, was first to notice Gilbert's presence and he ran over to him. Roderick, not taking his eyes of the door and too scared to look down and see the ex-nation, gripped Gilbert's hair in his hand. He was still there, wasn't he?

"Did you, uh," he found his voice weak and cleared his throat, "did you finish up the papers?" He looked over at Ludwig who nodded his head. Roderick finally spared a glance down at the Albino before leaning down and giving him a small peck on the head. He didn't really know why he had done it, it just felt right. Germany knelt on the ground in front of Gilbert as the other nations filled out to give them some space. He gingerly laid a hand on his brother's smoothly breathing form and began to try and shake him awake.

"Gilbert? Brother?" Roderick could tell he was trying to hold back tears. "I'm… I'm so sorry." He leaned his head down to rest his forehead against Gilbert's chest and took a deep breath before leaning back up. He placed his hand on Gilbert again and tried shaking him. "Gilbert. Gilbert, wake up." Gilbert was a pretty light sleeper, but seeing's how he hadn't gotten much sleep in the past few days, Roderick figured he was just completely zonked out. Roderick moved the hand that was resting in Gilbert's silver hair and put it on his shoulder.

"Gilbert, wake up. You're still here, you're still with us." Gilbert didn't even seem to react to the noise him and the other German were making. Ludwig looked up at Roderick with fear in his eyes before leaning down to put his ear against his brother's chest. He leaned up and looked at Roderick.'

"He's still breathing." Roderick looked down with concern at the sleeping man and carefully removed his head from his lap so head could stand next to Ludwig. Ludwig grew angry and placed his hands on both of Gilbert's shoulders.

"Gilbert. Wake up! Goddamnit Gilbert, don't worry me- and if this is a prank I will kill you, I swear to god!" Roderick took a few steps back to give Ludwig some space and filled a cup of water from the cooler. He sipped at it to calm himself while Ludwig's frustration grew. Without warning, Ludwig reached back, snatched the cup of water from Roderick's hand, and splashed it on his brother. They both froze for a moment to see if he would wake up before turning to each other. "Roderick, call an ambulance."

The other European nations stood making solemn, idle chat in the lobby of the building, none of them acknowledging what they might have done. They ignored the sirens until they grew closer, stopping outside of their building. Paramedics rushed inside and the nations quickly scurried to the sides of the room to avoid getting in the way. The last pair of emergency nurses carried a stretcher and rushed into the elevator, the others taking the stairs. When all the paramedics had finished filing upstairs, the European nations gawked at where they had stood.

"D-did," Hungary, Elizabetta, stammered, "did we kill him?"

Roderick tapped his foot nervously against the tiled floor to a steady beat as he nervously drummed his fingers on his legs. He was itching to clean something, play his piano, play his viola- anything was better than this agonizing waiting. Ludwig fared no better. He sat to Roderick's right side and kept an iron grip on the seat's arm rests. His eyes were shut tight and he was trying to focus on his breathing. Roderick had never seen Ludwig in this way before. Ludwig was always calm and composed in any situation, and the brunette felt like he shouldn't be witnessing the blond in such a fragile state.

It seemed like days before a nurse finally came out and called their names. They went back behind the front desk and followed her to a room that seemed too white and cheery for Roderick's liking. Gilbert was lying under the covers of the bed, his silver hair and pale skin making him blend into the sheets. He matched the room too much. At least he's not covered in blood. Roderick immediately shook the deranged thought from his head. He was already worried sick, he didn't need to think of such things. He jolted his head up to check the heart monitor. Wait, Gilbert is alive. Gilbert is still alive!

"So," Ludwig cleared his throat, "is he okay?"

"Well," the nurse said, pulling a clipboard out of a pouch at the end of the hospital bed. "There is good and bad news. Mr. Beilschmidt has no sustained injuries. His vitals are fine, he has no head trauma- frankly, we're confused why this has happened at all."

"What? What is it?" Ludwig asked with a bit too much force, his hands balled into tight fists at his side.

"Mr. Beilschmidt has fallen into a coma. Since there doesn't seem to be any cause we can detect, we think it might be either a 'Persistent Vegetable State Coma' or 'Anoxic Brain Injury Coma'. We really are quite confused about this one." Roderick spoke up.

"But do you know how long he'll be out?"

"Depends- could be a few weeks, could be a year or two."

"T-that long?" Ludwig stuttered.
"That's actually mildly short in comparison to some of our other cases. But Mr. Beilschmidt here seems to be in a perfect, healthy condition, so I doubt it'll be too long."

"Is that the good news, then?" Roderick asked, crossing over to the side of Gilbert's bed to lay a hand on his shoulder.

"No," the nurse said, flipping through the papers on her clipboard, "the good news is that, because of his healthy state and non-existent cause for his coma, we are 80% sure he will wake up having suffered little to no brain damage." Roderick sighed and ran his fingers through Gilbert's hair like he had done before. Wary of the tubes running up Gilbert's nose, Roderick leaned in and pressed a kiss to the albino's forehead. For some reason, it just felt right for him to do that- just like back at the office.

Ludwig sank into one of the chairs in the room and massaged his temples.

"I'll give you three sometime alone, then," the nurse said as she put back the clipboard and left the room, closing the door soundlessly behind her. Roderick hadn't even been aware enough to mutter a 'thank you'. He turned to Ludwig.

"At least he's alive, right? They think he's gonna' wake up fine." Ludwig's shoulders started to shake, his face still in his palms.

"You don't… you don't understand," he said, clenching his hair in his hands, "I thought maybe if his symptoms weren't as bad- if he would wake up soon enough- then he'd have a chance."

"Ludwig, what- what are you saying?"

"This is exactly what happened to Holy Rome before he disappeared."

The steady beat of the heart monitor faded out of Roderick's realm of consciousness and into white noise. A veil of blackness overtook the edges of his vision, and everything seemed to put itself on pause.Gilbert… is going to die? How… after all we've been through, how could he just… vanish? Roderick felt a certain pang of despair in his heart that he couldn't quite place reason to. He'd just be losing an old friend, right? Time would move on, right? Even if Roderick didn't know why, he knew that wasn't true. He stumbled over into the other chair in the room, on a wall catty-corner to Ludwig. He faded out of time and lost all perceptions of the world. I'm going to lose Gilbert? But he's… I…

I think I love him…

That was it. Roderick loved Gilbert. He loved the way Gilbert tried to be his friend even though Roderick knew himself to be a bit of a prick. He loved the way that the Albino could make anyone happy- albeit, probably more than a little frustrated- just by being himself. He loved the way Gilbert would barge into his house during all-hours, raid his fridge for the beer Roderick kept specifically for him, and then would actually sit quietly in the corner of the sun-room if Roderick was playing his piano. He loved how genuine Gilbert was. He loved that, although Gilbert would never admit it, he actually really liked classical music, and took great pleasure in watching Roderick play. Gilbert… Gilbert was the only one in his life that really cared for him anymore. After his divorce with Elizabetta, they remained friends, but things were still awkward. Gilbert had forced himself into Roderick's life, and had filled that gap before Roderick had even noticed. He didn't know why the albino put up with him, but he was sure glad he did. But now… now he would be gone. The one person who actually cared about Roderick would be gone. I, well I didn't really have anyone before Gilbert came along. Things'll just go back to the way they were, that's all. No matter how much Roderick lied to himself, he knew that wasn't true. It'd never be the same. And Roderick felt an overwhelming sense of guilt for wanting Gilbert to stay alive just for him.

Roderick took a cab home, not even noticing himself go through the motions. When he found himself at home, he removed his coat and shoes before stepping into his kitchen and searching through his liquor cabinets. Wine? No, that wasn't strong enough? Scotch? Why did he even own a bottle of scotch, he didn't even like it. Roderick wished he had some hard Russian vodka before thinking about Gilbert's beer. He crossed the kitchen, hesitantly opened the fridge, and eyed the bottled drinks. He had never had one, beer not really being his thing, and wondered how strong they were. He pulled one out of the fridge and used the bottle opener from the drawer next to the fridge to open it. He looked at it and sighed before carrying it to the sun room.

His sun room was like an extra extension of his house, walled with sturdy glass on the sides and ceiling. He had dark wood floors, much like in the rest of his house, and his piano stood main focus in the center of the room. He had an Austrian make, hand-rubbed ebony finished, upright, grand, open top Steinway piano- and it was his pride and joy. He pulled out the black leather bench from the piano, and sat down. Eyeing the drink in his hands, he felt a painful wave of nostalgia overcome him.

Roderick closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he flexed his hands over the keys of his piano. He positioned his foot over the rightmost pedal, and took one more breath before diving into Chopin's ballade No. 1 in G minor. His slender fingers danced over the keys as his body rocked with the movement of the piece- closer to the piano during pianissimo type dynamics, and further away for a louder sound. He felt the rhythm of the notes reflect through his fingers without even trying. The tempo steady in his head, he didn't even need to open his eyes to check what he was doing. He got lost in the music, carried away with all the feelings in the piece- reflecting his own emotions into it to enhance the feeling of the song and for the added cathartic benefit. Roderick loved times when he could play like this. Whenever he had to play for other people, he always felt he needed to maintain professionalism and wouldn't get as into to the piece versus when he would play alone.

It was the smell he noticed first. It had to have grown pretty strong to have aroused him from his playing trance. It was a thick alcohol smell, like someone who reeked with liquor. His playing faded out, his slender fingers coming to a rest on top of the keys. He heard movement coming from the door to the room as if someone was trying to hide before Roderick turned. He sighed and faced the door.

"Gilbert, I know you're out there." Gilbert stepped into the doorway from around the corner and smiled sheepishly.

"H-hey, Roddy," he said as he nervously took a swig from his beer bottle.

"Gilbert, I thought you were out clubbing with the trio- what on Earth are you doing here?"

"Well Antonio had brought Lovino, and Francis had run into Arthur, so I thought I'd come over here."

"If your friends are with their boyfriends, why are you here?"

"Uh, cuz' you're my boyfriend? Shit- I mean, like, my man-friend? My bro?" Roderick rolled his eyes and then gestured to the drink in Gilbert's hand with his head.

"And about how many of those have you had?"

"A, umm… reasonable amount?"

"Right," he shook his head and got up from the piano. "It's late enough, why don't we just watch a movie and go to bed?" A small flush covered Gilbert's cheeks, and Roderick couldn't tell if he was blushing or if it was just the alcohol.

"That'd be nice."

The pair changed into pajamas and headed for the living room. Gilbert joked that he should just live in Roderick's house since he came over enough to earn himself his own guest bedroom. Roderick let Gilbert pick out the movie and, to his surprise, he actually picked out a RomCom instead of some horror flic. Roderick leaned on the opposite end of the couch from Gilbert. He started to feel drowsy and let himself sink into the couch.

Roderick didn't quite know what happened, but he was lying on some sort of moving pillow. The pillow smelt strongly of beer, but it was warm and Roderick was comfortable. He stirred when he felt something soft press to his forehead. He grumbled and moved around, finally blinking his eyes open and looking up. He was confused for a moment, as he saw his albino friend leaning over him.

"P-Prussia? What are you doing here?" He grumbled, still half asleep. Gilbert chuckled.

"I guess we both fell asleep during the movie. It's morning." Roderick, finally realizing that he was still lying on the other nation, quickly sat up and smoothed out his shirt.

"I… I apologize for having slept on you. Had I realized, I would have moved immediately." Gilbert chuckled again and reached over to ruffle Roderick's hair, and flashed him a rare, soft smile instead of his usual shit-eating grin.

"You're fine, Roddy."

Roderick took a deep sigh before chugging half the bottle of beer. It really was quite good. It reminded him too much of the albino, however, and he figured drinking it would make him feel even worse. He got up from his piano and left the room. He crossed through his living room sparring a longing look at his couch and running a hand over the back of it as he passed. He entered his room and set his beer bottle on his night stand. Soundlessly, he stripped to his boxers before climbing under the cool, empty covers and curling into a ball. Roderick let a sob escape his lips, one that he had been holding in since he had left the hospital. It didn't feel as surreal anymore, and Roderick realized he would never have the albino in his company again. No, that wasn't true. Roderick made the decision then that he'd visit his friend in the hospital until he disappeared- however long that would take. But he'd still never get to hear his obnoxious laugh again, or get crushed in a bear hug.

Roderick was in and out of sleep through the night, pillow wet with tears, heart heavy, and dreams full of the doomed albino.