I remember when we broke up the first time

Saying this is it I've had enough, cause like

We hadn't seen each other in a month

When you said you needed space. What?

I bobbed my red head up and down, concentrating on the lyrics of the song currently playing on the radio. Think of anything but the taunting pictures on the walls of Hollywood Arts. Normally I wasn't a Taylor Swift fan, but I'd rather have a song about a breakup going through my head at the moment.

Ignore the pictures Cat.

Well, they weren't pictures… they were fliers.

"Missing girl"

Normally we don't pay any attention to these. Normally it isn't our problem. Normally it wasn't Jade West on the posters.

I made the mistake of glancing at the flier. I cringed with guilt as I saw the most recent picture of Jade. It was of her and I, her newly black hair and a smile on her face. It was a nice picture, though it was taken three months ago. The day before she went missing.

She could still be here, if I hadn't had a hoe moment and kissed Beck. Yea, beck and I were 'together.'

At first I didn't feel bad about it. So what? They'd broken up. It wasn't until the next day that I felt guilty. Jade found out, and went for a drive to calm herself. She never came back. I was supposed to be her best friend. What a great friend I was.

Now, wouldn't you remain optimistic about the situation? Tell yourself that she'll come back, that they'll find her alive.

They won't.

I know that she drove her car into the ocean. Not intentionally, she swerved by mistake and her car kind of plummeted off a cliff into the ocean. I could tell the police this. I could save Jade's family a lot of worry. But I can't.

I only know this because Jade's spirit torments me. Every time I shut my eyes she's there, reminding me of what I did. Reminding me that if I never kissed him, she wouldn't be dead.

I blinked, and her face flashed across my mind. It wasn't her face though. It was that of a corpse. Blue eyes permanently widened, black hair matted with blood. Bruises covering her once beautiful face.

God, what have I done?

"Cat!" Jade's voice snapped, and a hand was placed on my shoulder. I jumped, then reassured myself. It wasn't Jade, it was Beck. I seem to hallucinate all the time.

"Whatie?" I gave a brief smile, telling him that I was ok. By now, he could probably see through the lies though.

"You coming?"

"In a minute." I replied without looking up. He shrugged before walking off to class. I squished my eyes shut one last time, knowing I was asking to see it. I swallowed and let the words play through my head, the shuffles of feet slowly fading.

Would now be seventeen.

Black hair blue eyes.

"You did this to me! You're why I'm dead!" Jade screamed at me before the apparition faded. I killed her. I act all sweet and bubbly when in all reality I'm fucking mental. I'm Cat Valentine, and this is my spiral into insanity.