pre style="line-height: 21.299999237060547px; white-space: normal; font-family: 'Segoe UI', 'Segoe UI Web Regular', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Helvetica Neue', 'BBAlpha Sans', 'S60 Sans', Arial, sans-serif; color: #444444; font-size: 15px;"strongIt's been a while, guys. This is random./strongbr /br /emstrongspan style="text-decoration: underline;"how do you stop thinking about someone? part 1./span/strong/embr /while through the journey of getting to know a person, you learn more about them. Obviously. But not everyone understand what that involves. For example, you'll sit in a dimmed light cafe roaming over the menu - 'she really liked tea', and then you'll chuckle to yourself. Due to the fact you made her say 'emTae'/em instead of tea, which is of course just the Irish word for the refreshment. You then notice how your vocabularies mimic each other. You'll find yourself sitting in a cinema laughing, not at anything specific, but how she strongALWAYS/strong made you watch non-action movies. And that one time you fell asleep on Skype. Never mind the dream you had about her kissing you there, right there in the cinema. Let me set the /You and her were sitting in the backrow, per say, and there was a group of girls infront. By chance you could hear murmurs of 'emOh god, light haired girl is hot/em' amongst other and more vulgar things. They were talking about her. You leaned your head back to ignore them, but then you feel something - on your lips?br /Your lips catch up before your brain can catch up. She's kissing you, and it's possibly thee most breathtaking kiss you could ever imagine. Elegant. Innocent. Perfect. Then you wake up with plenty of butterflies, and a text from her. You tell her of your dream, but for the life of you - you cannot actually form words of how you felt in that moment and how you felt just remembering it, remembering a stupid /br /You also think about the time you wasted, the time instead of talking to a friend for a long time - you should have been paying more attention to her. You should have fought for her. You should have just figured out how to keep her. She wasn't even your girlfriend and still, you miss it. Whatever it was. She left because she was being true to herself, and even when she came back - you were too guarded to let her back in. br /You knew you lost her, you knew it, but she didn't understand what exactly what was going on in your life - and you still haven't told her. You destroyed you and her. br /br /Perhaps the blame could be shared, and repetitively she has told you it's not your fault..but at 3am i still think it is. I never thought she'd leave, I promised her I would never ever leave - and I didn't. br /I thought maybe I should become 'used' to people leaving more, and I still believe that. But she was my first love, she still is. br /She still argued with me about how I wouldn't talk to her, that she was always making the effort - and maybe that's true, but I couldn't do it. Some days I type out a message to only delete it, because I'm sure she has moved /br /It's hard. Definitely. br /I'm a closed person, no doubt. I'm pretty popular and well known, but not actually known. I don't wear my heart on my sleeve, and many would probably argue I don't have a heart - but generally people say I have no faults. Yet, she could name one of my faults after the other. Don't get me wrong, she wasn't perfect - but I was willing to listen. I was wiling to work completely on us, I was dedicated, but she caught feelings and kept them constant. Meanwhile mine grew, but obviously hers didn't. br /It hurt. I can't remember exactly, but I think she said sorry. br /br /Another thing, consistently I would forget things. I have such a bad memory. This lead to small problems, I guess. But I didn't forget the important things. I didn't forget that she had a crush on the madden brothers, or that she used a plastic spoon for certain foods - because she didn't like the 'metal taste' br /br /It's thoughts like these that mean you constantly think about that person. While I'm sitting here thinking about her, how much I miss her and how much I fucking love her. Maybe she forgot everything, but I didn't forget how she was the only person I could talk to - the only fucking person. But I was one of the people she could talk to, I guess. br /br /It's horrible, I have this impression that this whole thing didn't even faze her - she just moved on. That makes me feel even more worthless. This girl I've dedicated a lot of time to, a lot of feeling to - just gave up on me. Maybe she has reason upon reason to do so, but even now I would still make sure she's okay. I'm still here. emspan style="text-decoration: line-through;"I won't ever break that promise./span /embr /br /emHow do you move on?/em br /br /strongAs always thank you./strong/pre