AN: Hello, everyone! Welcome to my new story!
If you read and loved my other story, "Until Death Do They Part" then you will love story! No, I am not done with that story nor am I abandoning it! I'm just taking a breather because that story does take a lot of effort and time so I'm getting all my thoughts together for the next few chapters and the ending. I'm already writing the next chapter so all the fans of that story, calm down! That story is going to take a little longer but I will complete. However, this story will play with your feelings, but authors love doing that and so, do I! It will have love, angst, drama, redemption and triggering mentions!
Warning: mentions of rape, alcohol abuse, addiction, Katherine Pierce
I want to thank me amazing and beautiful beta: Salvatoreboys4ever she is so nice and I love talking to her! Go check out her stories because you will love them! They have such adorable Delena moments! You won't regret it.
I don't like nor condone rape but sometimes in real life, it happens! I want this story to be somewhat realistic because that's what people love reading and that's what I love writing. Sometimes cute, fluffy Delena stories are not what everyone is into and sometimes they want real life stories about our favorite couple! So, I put in rape because this story is also about progress so before you get angry make sure you remember that and I never let my fans and readers down so trust me you will love this story! I'm gonna try and make it a tear jerker!
I listened to Beyoncé- Love Drought and All Night when I got the idea for this story. The songs and the story have no correlation but it does tie into a lot of Delena's relationship through this story so I suggest you listen to it because it is amazing and might make you cry. Listen to it while you read this story, that would be most fitting, at least for the angsty Delena moments.
It starts off a little slow but I have to make you wait for the best parts. Enjoy!
"...And all the lovin' that I've been givin' goes unnoticed. It's just floating in the air. Lookie there. Are you aware? You're my lifeline and your tryna kill me...I don't care about the lights or the beams. Spend my life in the dark for the sake of you and me...'Cause you, you, you, you and me could move a mountain. You, you, you, you and me could calm a war down...You, you, you, you and me could stop this love drought" -Beyoncé, Love Drought
The world is dark.
She couldn't tell if she was up or down. Or, if she was breathing. A blinding light engulfs her and the universe and she chokes as she's pulled inside out. The pain is unbearable. A scream is torn from her chest but no sound bounces in her ears.
Everything is quiet. Then it shatters.
Relief floods her existence before she suddenly lands in front of a mansion. A sweet, smooth, mellifluous music flows gently through the world. Her feet carry her to the door and suddenly, she's inside. Her head turned and a broken mirror as glass disappeared, before she could look, only leaving the wood from the house as if the mirror was never there. Slowly, her feet carry her closer to the melody.
A feeling sets inside. A feeling she couldn't describe with words.
As the music grows louder, she emerges from the hall and into the room.
Standing still, quiet, in the sweet golden light of the sun was a man. His back was turned but his fingers still played on the white piano. Everything turned white. Her feet stood on glass, and she didn't fear what would happen if she fell. Her feet carried her closer to the man but as her hand reached out to touch him, he vanished and so does the world. She was once again pulled into the darkness and she realizes, she longed for a place that didn't exist.
A place that seemed so oddly familiar but so far away. A place she would always search for but never find.
Never.
Always.
The same man appeared but he had no face. His scent brought a feeling of home but when she drew closer, he disappeared. Alone in the mist of darkness, she began to cry.
Elena jumped up from the bed, sucking in oxygen as if it was her last breath. Her fingers shot up to her eyes, as the tears still sat. She wiped them away, trying to forget about the dream but the feeling stayed with her. It was the same feeling that never left her body.
Fear.
If she dreamed, it was the same dream every night for years. And, every time she dreamed, no matter how many times she expected it or even walked faster in the hall, it was always the same outcome. Without fail.
It was several seconds before the tears died off and her vision cleared. Her memories flooded back, demanding the attention she knew it craved. She knew who's house it was and she knew who the man was.
The dream was forever anticipated and the memories would always haunt her even as she took her last breath. A hidden world never to be silenced. A world that would always be into tied with her memories.
She pulled the blankets off of her body and went to the kitchen, pouring a glass of milk. She bit her lip before letting a tear slid down her cheek. It never failed, she could almost time when it happened. She only ever made it to the kitchen and poured a glass before the tears started. The glass cup never reached her lips before the damn opened and the water cascaded down her face. But, the pain she felt was her own. She deserved every ounce of pain and heartbreak she felt. She placed the grief upon her own shoulders. She destroyed multiple people's lives and nothing could ever take that back. Slowly she sat the cup back down and bit her lip to keep from crying out but quickly realized how futile it was. Sharp pain lanced through her head and colorful spots flashed in front of her eyes, it felt like her entire body had been beaten and every movement caused some muscle or bone to ache.
"I love you" He whispered, kissing her lips, smiling into the kiss.
"I love you too"
Her eyes dripped with tears. Her walls, the walls that held her up, made her strong just... collapsed. Moment by moment, they fell. Salty tears dropped from her chin, drenching the shirt. Perhaps these tears will help wash her sins away. She pressed her head against the wall and remembered just for a moment those eyes... baby blue, so innocent... Something she was not. She's trembling and her body refused to stop. Even as she pressed her hand against the wall it shakes, it trembles. It's raw, everything, raw tears, raw emotions. She can't stop. The wound in her heart, opened further, ripping into every muscle it could find to heavy her chest. As much as she tried to hold it in, the pain came out like an uproar from her throat in the form of a silent scream. The beads of water started falling down one after another, without a sign of stopping. The muffled sobs wracked against her chest. The world turned into a blur, and so did all the sounds. The taste. The smell. Everything was gone. The last painful emotion slammed against her before she lost the feeling of feeling.
"Mommy," A small voice whispered, a sound so familiar no matter how small, a sound she could hear even through her tears. She looked down and felt the warmth of the small hands around her thigh and bury her face into Elena's skin. Elena tilted her head to see the long board straight tuff of black hair around her leg and bent down, causing the child to slowly back away and hit her back against the refrigerator. The toddler sniffled as Elena tilted her chin up.
"Why are you crying baby?" The blue-eyed girl stared at her mother with broken eyes.
"Because your sad, mommy. Your always sad" She pouted her lips, holding the brown teddy bear against her chest tight.
Elena sniffled and pulled the small child into her arm. "No, baby, no. Mommy's not always sad. You make me happy. Mommy just had a nightmare but I'm okay, baby" She whispered, stroking the child's hair and kissing her olive skin tone cheek. The child's look never faltered, she still frowned at her mother, not believing a word the brunette said. "Emily, I'm serious. You make mommy happy. You are my world" Elena wiped her tears with her thumb. "Okay?"
Emily nodded. "Okay, mommy"
Elena wrapped her arms around the raven-haired toddler and kissed the top of her head before picking her up and sitting her on her hip, making sure the teddy bear was still tight in her hands. In seconds, her body was molded to her own, sharing her body heat as easily as she shares her heart. Elena could never let another close to me like this, not after him, but she's so different. There's a purity to her, naivety perhaps, but she's the only flower in the meadow for Elena's eyes. The beautiful sky-blue eyes that mirrored the man that gave her to Elena and her big dopey smile was all she needed to make her day better. Emily was the best thing to eve happen to her and she didn't regret a single thing that happened that let her to being born.
"Do you want juice baby?" Elena asked as Emily balled up her fists and rubbed her eye with one hand as the other clutched the bear. She pouted her pink lips in thought before nodding. Her purple, flower covered onesie made her look more innocent than she really was. It wasn't her actions that made her seem less innocent, it was the faces she always made. Just as her father, she would smirk in triumph when she got something she wanted and smile like an angel when she was in trouble to get out of it. And, every time she would always walk away smirking and acting like the most well-behaved child to ever exist, knowing she had her mother in the palm of her hand.
Elena opened the fridge and poured a glass of milk inside the toddler's sippy cup and handed it to the yawning child, barely able to hold her eyes open. Elena smiled at the sight of her baby so tired, repeatedly opening and closing her eyes in attempt to keep them open.
"My little baby is so tired" Elena coed as Emily rested her head on her mother's shoulder, the sippy cup still in one hand but dropped the teddy bear without realizing it. The brunette couldn't keep the smile off her face as she slowly bent down and picked up the toy as Emily drifted off into sleep right in her arms. Inside her chest, Elena felt her heart mending back together from the hole that took place since leaving her home town and everyone in it. The pain, that weighed down her chest that made the world seem dark, lifted as if she took her first breath. Holding her daughter in her arms, even having a child, a piece of the man she had to leave made the world seem a little less bleak.
Elena turned out the light and carried her child to her room and placed the small body on the cheap Target white sheets and tucked Emily in, kissing her forehead. She stood next to the bed, tucking the teddy bear under the blanket with Emily and placed the sippy cup on the dresser so it wouldn't soak the bed. She turned glancing over the child that brought her back to life and mentally thanked God for her. If Emily wasn't born, Elena honestly didn't know where she would be, or if she would even be alive.
Everything about the toddler screamed her father. Those beautiful blue eyes contrasted with his, though they weren't far off. His were dark blue, like the ocean that filled with sharks' ready to pounce at any given moment, which didn't make them any less amazing to stare at. Elena often found herself in his arms, lost in the blue orbs for hours before she ran from her hometown. But, Emily's...they were her own. They were as blue as the sky on a hot summer day, which you would fly kites in and turn on the hose running through the water to cool off from the sun's rays and glowed sometimes at night, almost a supernatural light about them as if she was blessed. Her small lip, which were often pouted because of how spoiled she was, were a light pink, just like his, but turned red somedays especially when she sucked down the red Kool aid from her sippy cup.
Her raven board straight, black hair so dark you would have to rethink the color of what you thought was black which Elena found herself always touching or running her fingers through the soft strands as Emily would giggle because "It tickled" and show her deep dimples on her olive skin, just like her mother's, when she smiled that made Elena want to pinch her cheeks just like a distant Aunt would at a family reunion. Emily's innocent laugh echoed in Elena's ears as she stared down at her sleeping. Elena let a smile grace her lips before turning off the light and leaving the room, going back to hers and laying down on the bed. She closed her eyes before letting sleep overtake her, and this night she wasn't forcing her eyes closed as she did the other ones. This night was easy, calm and she had no problem letting her eyes close.
Elena stepped out of the house and grabbed Emily's hand, her small soft palm warming her entire body. The sun shined down on the pair, as if it was only meant for them. Butterflies flew past Emily's face and she reached out to grab one pulling her hand from Elena's. The brunette instantly snatched Emily's arm, pulling her back to her roughly as the child looked at her, sad.
"Never do that again. Do you understand me?" Elena snapped at Emily, still gripping the toddlers arm.
"Mommy, your hurting me" Emily called, tears in her eyes. Elena instantly let up on her arm and bend down, her anger vanishing and a look of worry took its place.
"I'm sorry, baby. It's just the world is bad sometimes and you have to stay close to me. There are some bad people that will hurt you. You have to stay close to me and always take my hand. If you want to play with the butterflies, tell me so I can keep an eye on you, okay?" Elena rubbed Emily's arms, licking her lips.
Emily nodded after a moment still frowning. "Okay, mommy. I'm sorry"
"It's fine, baby. Just I need you to be careful and listen to me. I'm just trying to protect you. Now, grab my hand" Elena clasped her hand but into Emily's and let out a breath of relief. Emily didn't go far, hell she didn't even walk to steps away from her, but Elena needed to know where she was at all times even if they were at their own house. There were sick people in the world that had no problem snatching a child from her mother and hurting her in any way possible.
"Elena!" A voice called from behind her. Elena turned, placing her hand over her eyebrows from the sun's glare and smiled at the person.
"Come on, Emily" Elena said and walked to the end of the driveway, making sure her daughter's hand was firm in hers.
"Bonnie!" Elena hugged the chocolate skinned woman, smiling. Emily looked up and smiled brightly at the guest. The girls pulled away and Bonnie looked down at the child as she held her hands up, wanting to be picked up. Bonnie smiled and reached for Emily and sat her on her hip.
"You like Bonnie don't you baby?" Elena smiled as Emily blushed and nodded. "What brings you to our little patch of the area?" The brunette asked as Bonnie just shrugged.
"I missed seeing you all" Bonnie turned to Emily as her piercing blue eyes landed on hers. "I missed seeing you to, Em"
Emily's cheeks turned bright red and she was suddenly shy. "I missed you too, Bonnie" She said almost in a whisper, like a baby just beginning to talk. "Do you all want to get something to eat? I'll treat you two"
Emily immediately nodded as Elena shook her head. "Oh no, Bonnie. I couldn't ask you to do that" Emily turned to her mother, giving her a look that said 'please' making the puppy face look with her bright blue eyes that made Elena almost say yes but she doesn't take people's money. Bonnie faked a frown, copying Emily knowing Elena wouldn't take 'a hand out' as she liked to say.
Elena shook her head. "No. You two are not gonna gang up on me. My decision is final. We're only going if I'm paying for my own food. Last time you agreed and still paid while I was in the bathroom. You sly dog" Bonnie shrugged, unapologetic.
"Elena, letting your friend take you and your daughter out is not a hand out. I don't mind, honestly"
"Bonnie, I know you don't but I don't like when people pay for me or my daughter. I can very well do it for myself. When I take other people's money it feels like I don't have any money to myself but I actually do and every time I use to take money from people, even from my family, I had so much guilt so I just don't do it anymore"
Bonnie pursed her lips, knowing Elena wouldn't give in any time soon but neither would she. She turned her head and whispered something in Emily's ear as she turned to her mother.
"Mommy..." Emily started, pouting her lips in a frown Her eyebrows drawled together saddened and filled her eyes with tears. "Pweasee" She drawled out like a two-year-old, knowing she was reaching her mother's weak spot when Elena's face softened. Elena opened her mouth and closed it when Emily released a soft cry, silently begging with her eyes, and Bonnie faked a frown at Elena. When Elena didn't give in, Emily started to softly cry and Elena gasped at the sight.
"Okay, okay! We'll go, we'll go! Please don't cry" Emily immediately perked up along with Bonnie and she knew she had been played by her friend and daughter. "Ugh, I knew what you all we're doing but I still said yes"
"You can't say no to little Emily" Bonnie smirked. "Come on" Bonnie turned and started walking as Elena trailed behind, pouting. Elena walked faster and whispered in Bonnie's ear that Emily couldn't hear.
"Damn you" Bonnie laughed and they kept walking as Emily giggled at every dog or cat that walked by.
Emily sat in the booth, nodding her head at the soft music playing through the cafe as Elena and Bonnie laughed at her. She reached up and grabbed a fry rubbing it in ketchup before eating it, smiling.
"Crazy girl" Elena mumbled as Bonnie laughed. Emily finished after eating her chicken fingers and fries before watching SpongeBob on Elena's phone, her ears muffled to the café with the earphones that barely fit in her ears.
Bonnie looked at Emily and made sure she wouldn't be able to hear what she was about to ask Elena. "Elena, your eyes are a little red and sore..." She started, not knowing how to approach what she wanted to ask. "Are you okay? This isn't the first time I've seen it but I didn't want to be nosy. You look like you've been crying for hours. If anything is bothering you, you know I'm here for you right?"
Elena nodded, sadly. She knew her neighbor-turned best friend-godmother to Emily would be there for her in any way but she has tried so hard to bury her past and every night she has to relive it, always waking up crying or cry from the bittersweet memories that the dream brought back. It's been well over 5 years, but she still wasn't ready. The wound was still too open, she didn't know when, or if she would ever be ready to discuss the harshest days of her life, even if Bonnie had been here since she moved into her house a year ago.
"I know, Bonnie. It's just things happened in my past before I knew I was pregnant with Emily and those things are very harsh to talk about or even think but I always dream about everything that happened and it continues to haunt me even years later. It just upsets me and I cry sometimes because of it"
"Well, do you want to talk about it? I won't judge you for anything. I don't do that"
"I don't know, Bonnie. I want to forget those things ever happened but I continue to be haunted about them in my dreams and I don't know if I'm ready to talk about it, or if I ever will be" The moment the words left Elena's lips, she instantly regretted it. She knew what she said was bull and she hoped Bonnie wouldn't push it further or be able to look past her eyes.
"Elena, there's nothing wrong with talking about what happened and I'm just trying to help, honestly. I can see you have some pretty dark demons and your very depressed, Elena"
"I'm not depressed-" Elena started.
"Yes, you are. You wanna know how I know?" Elena nodded.
"Because when you left Emily at a daycare for one day while we went out, you didn't want to do anything or eat a lot. The moment Emily was gone, you moped-"
"I just missed my daughter-"
"No, that's not it. At least not all of it. What I'm saying is, the only time your happy is when Emily is with you. I bet that the moment Emily goes to sleep you start feeling sad. Correct me if I'm wrong"
Elena stayed silent. Bonnie was right. Nothing made her happy besides Emily and writing, and it's not the regular mother-missing-her-daughter it was more of I'm-not-happy-unless-shes-here-and-I-don't-enjoy-anything-unless-she-is-involved and that's not normal.
"Exactly. And, it's not the typical mother-daughter relationship. It's not hard to tell that Emily is your world and that's perfectly fine but the moment she turned her attention away from you, you get sad and mopey. That is not normal! Please, I can tell whatever this is killing you on the inside and you need to talk about it before it destroys you, Elena"
"I'm fine" Elena lied, though Bonnie could see the swirling emotions her words were doing in Elena's eyes.
"Just think about this, even if you don't want to tell me, you have to tell someone Elena. What happens one day when your alone and Emily is a growing teenage and she wants to be with her friends and go to parties and doesn't want to be at home with her mom all the time anymore then you start feeling alone and sad like now and you won't let her do anything. You want her to spend all of her time at home because your lonely and sad without her and she will disobey you, hurt your feelings and probably turn into a rebel because she wants to go out all the time. That is going to hurt you and hurt your relationship just because you didn't want to talk about something that was hurting you" By the time Bonnie was done, Elena has tears in her eyes because Bonnie was right. She knew this was hurting her and would hurt even more in the long run but it was always easier to forgot about it and act like it didn't exist.
She didn't want to cry because of Emily but before she could grab a napkin and dab it on her eyes, the floodgates opened and hot tears spilled down her face, blurring her eyes. She took a few breaths and quickly wiped it away before Emily could notice. Elena turned her head, making sure Emily didn't notice and saw that she was still smiling at the screen, sucking down the juice in her cup. Elena dabbed her eyes one last time and took a breath, her vision clearing. Her mind suddenly flashed with only a snippet from the night that forever changed her.
Elena laid on the ground, under the tree as the stars sparkled in the sky. It was silent night, one of calm wind and cool air. She longed to be like the stars, far away, away from these people, the people that never thoughts twice about hurting her and the person that caused every bit of this.
Her face closed with a grimace, her skin pale and clammy. Every few minutes she would scream, not like in the movies when tortured, but worse. It had a raw quality, the realness of a person consumed by a pain that knew no end or limit. Then she would go quiet, just panting. The reality of what she had been dragged into hit her every few minutes, replaying the events only hours ago, and every time it would, the result was always the same. Her eyes have frozen over like the surface of a winter puddle, robbing them of their usual warmth. Each time she ran her finger over the open wound, the pain amplified, the bloody muscle quivered, her consciousness ebbed.
Her body ached, her mind drained. Elena pursed her lips, to keep from crying out as tears fell down her cheeks and as she only had one name on her mind as the pain ripped through every muscle, tearing open the wound even further.
"Damon!"
Elena blinked, the memory gone as quickly as it came. She could still feel the slight ache on her leg from that wound every now and then, especially when she bent down.
It was a silent reminder. One that yelled, 'I'm still here' just to make sure she never forgot.
She would never forget. How could she? It was the worst night of her life and it only went downhill from there.
"Elena...?" Bonnie questioned. Elena snapped her head up to meet the other brunette's before she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.
"Let's go somewhere less open, first" She said, swallowing. Bonnie nodded as they got up and Elena reached for Emily and sighed when she placed her on her hip as Bonnie paid the bill.
"Mommy, what's wrong? Your sad again. Please don't be sad"
Elena plastered a smile on her face for her daughter's sake. "I'm not sad, Emily. I'm fine, baby. We going to the park okay? You wanna run around and play in the grass? Wear yourself out so you'll sleep tonight?"
Emily nodded happily. "Yay! The park!" Elena laughed at her daughter as Bonnie came back over.
"You ready?" Elena nodded, putting her phone and earphones away. They walked to the door as Emily smiled, showing off her dimples to the world.
"Where are we going?" Bonnie asked.
"The park"
AN: Hello, everyone! How did you like chapter 1?
If you want to see Emily's clothes when she found Elena in the kitchen crying sear on google: girl toddler one-piece flower pajama and the first one that pops up, is Emily's clothes from that night. And, to clear up a few things is, at the beginning of this chapter, Elena was having a dream about Mystic Falls and The Boarding House but her conscious is basically haunting her about what she did. And, yes Emily is Damon's daughter if I didn't make that clear.
We didn't meet Damon this chapter but this is the prologue or basically the pilot and Damon will most likely come into play in the next few chapters. I do want to show what Elena's going through first and how she has been feeling since this night that destroyed her life. I'm pretty sure you all can already guess. How did I do? I mean I was pretty happy with it but I do love hearing your opinions. The next chapter will be a lot longer so just wait! I will be updating the next chapter in 2 days.
And, I want to write one shots so if you have prompts, tell me, no smut though because I'm terrible at it. I can do really loving scenes though. Really emotional ones. Any ideas?