A/N: This falls into the series of 'writing things I'm bad at writing to hopefully get myself better or more comfortably writing them' era. (Also my inability to come up with titles is starting to show...)There's Rizzles. Like lots of Rizzles. And language. And I probably ventured a little out of character but considering we've never really seen either of them in a "real" relationship I'm not quite sure how they would act while in one so I had to wing it. It isn't really set in a time frame so I'm just gonna throw it out as way after season two.
Disclaimer: Don't own the characters. Not making money. Etc.
Jane downed the rest of her coffee as Maura showed Frankie and Tommy out the door. She was more angry at the medical examiner than she'd been in a very long time. For starters, even though they'd been "dating" for a little over three months Maura refused admit it to anyone other than themselves. Which meant their "dates" consisted of staying in side either her apartment or Maura's house while they watched a movie and ate dinner of Chinese or pizza. She'd agreed to this at first, it was a good choice. Why ruin something that just started by having other people's opinions thrown into the mix? Because people would talk about it, and they'd butt in and they'd make a mess of things. But as the months wore on, Jane found herself growing more and more impatient. She didn't want to hide forever. What was so wrong with her that Maura didn't want people to know about them? Was the other woman really that embarrassed of her? It was a question she often asked herself. It was usually shortly followed by: what if Maura did want to stay hidden? What would she do? Was having Maura as a private girlfriend better than having her as just a best friend? Jane shuddered at the thought of watching the woman she was sure she loved going on bad dates after bad dates with men that would never work when she was right fucking there. It was like Maura crawled into her heart unexpectedly and stuck like a habit she didn't ever want to break. But that night at family dinner Maura crossed a line.
First there was the fact that the dinner got moved from Sunday night to Saturday night because Frankie's shift got turned around and Tommy told a friend he'd help him with a job. It was really unfair because had it been Jane who had to work there would be hell to pay, and family dinner would've stayed on Sunday despite her not being there. Then there was the fact that her mother decided it was time she try to set her up with another man without her knowledge. Imagine her surprise when she saw a strange, vaguely familiar man standing in her girlfriend's living room drinking a beer and bonding with her brothers like he belonged there. Before she could even interrogate him her mother had her by the arm and was already dragging her into the kitchen.
Her mother gave her the spiel about being taken care of and grandchildren before leaving in a huff to entertain and set the table. Jane turned to Maura who was tossing a salad together. "You told her she could invite him?" Jane asked hotly.
"What was I supposed to say Jane?" Maura's tight movements and curt voice did not go unnoticed by the ever observant detective.
"Oh, I don't know, Maura." The detective spat. She picked up the wine bottle that she was supposed to have already brought to the table. "I'm sure your genius of an IQ could've come up with a believable story that wouldn't out us since you're so ashamed of me."
"Is that really what you –" Maura stopped talking suddenly finding herself alone in the kitchen.
From there, Jane pondered, the night had just gone to hell in a hand basket with a nice little bow all packaged clean and proper for the devil. Her mother actually picked a surprisingly great guy for her for once. His name was Scott Freeman; he was a detective like her (why he looked familiar as she'd seen him around the precinct before), only he worked in the Canine Unit. He was funny, smart, and very good looking. He had a great smile and kind eyes. Truthfully, if Jane wasn't with Maura he would've probably made an excellent match for her. And she wouldn't have to hide with him. All through dinner she, Frankie and Scott were telling funny cop stories. Angela told him about Jo Friday which got him talking about Roco his drug sniffing black Lab. All night long Jane could feel Maura's sharp gaze on her as she interacted with Scott. Jane couldn't help but feel guilty even though she wasn't even flirting with him. In fact, when he claimed he had to leave and she saw him out per her mother's request he didn't even try to make a move or ask her out. He just said he could tell she wasn't looking for a relationship with him but he had fun and they should be friends. Jane thanked him for understanding and walked back into the house as he drove away. As she walked into the living room she could feel Maura's hurt eyes boring into her every move. That guilty feeling from earlier intensified gnawing at her insides threatening to short-circuit her brain from all of the confusion.
So now she sat on Maura's couch with her arms and legs crossed and a patented Rizzoli glare on her features. She didn't even flinch when Maura pointedly took her empty coffee cup to the kitchen. "Well, you seemed to have enjoyed yourself." Jane knew that tone. It was Maura's politely angry voice that she used when she didn't want people to know she was angry but Jane always saw threw it.
Jane felt her own anger finally boil over. "Oh, no." Jane said in a darkly serious voice. She got up from the couch taking long strides until she was standing a few feet from Maura. "You don't get to blame this on me."
Maura shut the dishwasher as hard as she could without breaking it. She turned fast on her heel facing Jane. "What took you so long to say goodbye to him outside? Did you let him kiss you?"
It was like a volcano exploded in Jane's chest at the words. Lava was everywhere, red tinged everything, nowhere was safe. Jane pushed Maura against the dishwasher firmly with a growl before attacking the doctor's lips with her own. The kiss was heated and angry, full of fire and not at all gentle or nice. All too soon in Maura's opinion the detective jerked away taking multiple steps backwards. "You think I would let anyone else do that? Why the hell would I want him when I have you?" She took a steadying breath. "You have no right to be pissed off at me. You're the one that invited him here."
Maura was still slightly out of breath from Jane's sudden kiss. "What did you want me to do Jane?" She asked exasperatedly finally finding her voice. She dropped her hands to her sides. "Did you want me to tell your mother that no, he couldn't come?"
"Yes!" Jane answered tossing her arm to the side.
"That's rude and she would've asked why and then what?"
Jane rolled her eyes, exhaling heavily out of her nose. "You tell her that I'm not looking for a relationship. You tell her that you're uncomfortable having a stranger in her home. You tell her whatever you need to tell her to make sure he doesn't come here!"
"It sounds nice in theory, Jane, but your mother would've gotten suspicious."
"Oh, that's right. I'm sorry, I forgot." Jane brought her hand to her heart in mock apology. "You don't want to be seen canoodling with a blue collar, Italian, Boston cop from the other side of the tracks. I get it." She nodded her head seriously at Maura before turning around to leave.
"Jane, that's not why!" Maura practically shouted. "I don't care about money and you know that." She took a steadying breath. "You agreed to this, or do you not remember?" Maura challenged.
"Oh, I remember." Jane spat turning back towards the doctor. "I remember you kissed me at my house at my apartment on a Friday night after you ran off another lame date. I remember how freaking confused I was because I was happy that you were with me and not him. I remember how the only thing I could think about for days was the taste of red wine on your lips and how it felt so fucking right." She laughed sarcastically. "You're right I did agree to hide this, I did. But it's been months, Maura!" Jane let out a growl of frustration. "I could've dated Scott. I could've been happy with him. He would've been great. But you kissed me three and a half months ago and everything changed. You kissed me and now all I want is you, all I think about is you. And you are the most infuriating person I've ever met in my life!" She was so angry she wanted to rip her own hair out. "You know what the sad thing is?" Jane bit her bottom lip looking at Maura. "I would climb mountains for you. I have climbed mountains for you and you won't even hold my hand when we walk the dog." That was all she really wanted. She wasn't asking for some big parade or a giant party or a cake or anything stupid like that. She just wanted to hold her girlfriend's hand at the park or while they ordered coffee. She wanted to wrap her arm around Maura's shoulder at the Robber so that everyone that hit on Maura would get the message already. She wanted to stop feeling like they were doing something that was wrong and something that needed to be kept secret. She didn't understand why Maura didn't get that. She shook her head at Maura's silence. It took every ounce of willpower she had to do it but she turned around once more and walked out the door before she said something she'd regret later.
Maura's head was spinning, her heart was pounding in her chest cavity and her lips were still tingling from where Jane's had been. She let Jane's words sink into her brain. When she looked up from the floor she saw that Jane wasn't standing in front of her anymore. Only when she heard her front door shut and the lock click into place did it actually hit her that Jane was gone. Somehow Maura managed to convince herself that Jane would be back (because she always came back) and that Jane did not break up with her (because break-ups usually took place in airports or on hastily written notes.) Jane just needed to cool off, that was all. Maura sat on her couch staring at the door waiting for her tall, lanky detective to come back because she always came back. But the next morning she woke up on the couch to her home exactly the way it was the night before and no Jane in sight. For an unknown reason she felt her heart ache. She thought of Jane's parting words and the hurt that was so clearly evident on her partner's face and in her words as she spoke. Maura felt sick.
Jane had done extraordinary things for her. She'd saved her life on more than one occasion. One of which involved a psychopathic serial killer who happened to be Jane's personal boogieman. Even though Jane herself had been terrified beyond comprehension she still ended up killing the man with his own instrument and by doing so saved both of their lives. Jane pushed her to the ground or out of harm's way multiple times when danger was afoot during an investigation. Jane was the reason her relationship with her mother completely changed. Then there were the small things that weren't at all small. Like the way Jane knew her coffee order by the third week of knowing each other and the way she knew how she liked her eggs in the morning. Jane had given her a permanent place at Rizzoli family dinners, a home, a family, and a place to belong long before they even started seeing each other. Jane never asked for much, the only thing she wanted in return was a public relationship. It seemed so small, so inconsequential, in the big scheme of things.
Maura was still completely terrified to do that though because love ends. It was a thing she learned every time she took a chance on someone. Jane's own mother could attest to that. Love ends and people leave. Bigger things, bigger dreams, take its place in hearts and she was always alone in the end. It happened with Garrett who had chosen a clothing company in Milan and then years later it happened with Ian who picked sick people in Africa. How could she even compete with that? What if in doing what Jane said the other woman didn't want to be with her anymore? She was just Maura The Bora and Jane, Jane was like a hurricane. What if Jane realized this and left her for someone or something that was bigger and better? She didn't even want to think of a life without the detective in it or with the detective in it in just a platonic manner. It would ruin her. Watching Jane with the man the night before had caused some sort of incalculable shift inside her. It was the first time in their three months together that she actually felt like if she didn't do something, if she didn't take Jane's needs into account, she could lose her for good. Maura sighed rolling over onto her couch unceremoniously. And Jane was flying blind on all of this because because she hadn't released the information to her.
By mid-day, Maura finally forced herself off the couch. Jane wasn't coming back. If Maura wanted to fix this she was going to have to go to Jane. The message was loud and clear. She didn't believe in much, but she believed in Jane. And if Jane believed in their relationship enough to stop hiding then maybe she could too.
Jane on the other hand spent the most of her Sunday off curled into a ball on her couch asleep while a Cops marathon played on her TV. She only got up to walk Jo Friday and eat before plopping down on the couch again. She was still a little peeved at Maura (and her mother) for the night before. She wasn't on call so she kept her phone turned off on under the coffee table.
Monday morning Jane found herself with no case and no paperwork so she decided to go to the gym in the basement. She wasn't too surprised to find that hardly anyone was down there. There was one guy in the weight lifting area and a couple other people on the cardio equipment. Jane made her way to the completely empty boxing area. Not many cops wanted to work out at nine AM on a Monday she guessed. She gave a quick stretch before wrapping her hands. Once she was warmed up she began attacking the dummy with unrelenting punches.
Maura walked into the precinct carrying Jane's favorite order from their favorite café. But when she walked to Jane's desk all she saw was her blazer sitting on the back of an empty chair. She turned to Frost and Korsak who seemed to be playing a heated game of Go Fish with a deck of cards. "She's at the gym." Frost said with a yawn. She nodded in thanks putting the items in her hands on Jane's desk. "Do you have any kings?" Maura left before she could hear Korsak's response.
Maura fluffed her hair a bit before walking into the gym. No amount of deep breaths could prepare her for the image at the far end of the wide open room. Even from far away she could hear the detective's soft grunts with each punch she connected to the dummy. Maura smoothed imaginary wrinkles from her dress before walking towards her. Now only a few feet from the woman Maura took a moment to admire her girlfriend. They often worked out together but Jane would never get as sweaty as she was now during those workouts. She'd asked about it before but Jane could never come up with an answer. During this particular gym adventure Jane was wearing running shorts and a t-shirt she had cut the sleeves off of. When Jane pulled the tail end of the baggy t-shirt up to wipe the sweat off her face revealing her well-developed abdominal muscles Maura felt herself grow a little hot under the collar of her white lab coat. She could remember trailing her tongue down those abs to the buckle of her slacks. She remembered how Jane moaned her name and grabbed fistfuls of the sheets when she ventured lower the second time around. "What do you want?" Jane's rough voice broke through her rapidly arousing thoughts.
She cleared her throat. Why was she down here again? She looked into Jane's dark eyes. "I wanted to talk with you about…about Saturday."
Jane grabbed her bag throwing it on the bench that separated the space between them. "I have to take a shower." She replied unwrapping her hands. "If you still want to talk you can come over after work. I'll order pizza or something." Jane gave Maura a half-hearted smile before grabbing her duffle and heading towards the exit. Maura stood there a few seconds after Jane left trying to control her rapidly beating heart. She had no idea how Jane always did this to her.
When Jane got home that night she noticed Maura was sitting on the steps of her building. "You could have used your key." Jane said walking to Maura was now standing. The detective expected her to say some quip about not being rude or that she didn't plan on staying long. What she didn't expect was Maura to grab the lapels of her blazer bringing her to her height and meeting her lips with a bruising, breath-taking kiss on the steps of her building. Outside. Where anyone could see them. She felt Maura place a finger on her lips to keep her from talking.
"I've been hesitant about this – about us – because love in my experience doesn't always work out. The second I take someone for what they are they always leave, they find something better. The chase is over and they don't want me. I'm not enough. And I – I can't with you! But I am so in love with you that everything pales in comparison to you. And I was afraid that you'd leave me and that would just destroy me. It's terrifying. But I –" She bit her lip trying to come up with the right words. She fingered Jane's collar. "I love you. I don't want to lose you. We can tell the world about us. It doesn't matter as long as you're by my side." Jane was looking at her with big, loving, brown eyes and a hint of a grin on her face. "I had a bigger speech planned." She chuckled. "You have no idea what you do to me. It's like everything short circuits and turns to mush."
Jane laughed grabbing Maura's hand. "Funny, the same thing happens to me." She led Maura up the stairs and into her apartment. Once the door closed she turned to Maura looking deep into her eyes. "I can't promise that this will always be easy. I don't know the future. But I do know that I am completely in love with you and I don't think that's ever going to change." She traced Maura's cheek with her hand. "And it would ruin me if I lost you too."
"Jane." Maura tried to interrupt.
"I hate everyone that made you feel like you weren't worth loving, that made you feel like you weren't enough."
"Jane." Maura tried again.
"They can all just suck it."
"Jane!" Maura tried a third time. Before Jane could open her mouth to speak again Maura pulled Jane's strong jaw toward her meeting her lips in a kiss. She forced Jane backwards until she hit a wall. "Stop talking." She murmured into the kiss against Jane's lips. She un-tucked Jane's button up top with a sharp tug and shoved the blazer off her long arms.
"A little eager are we?" Jane chuckled before Maura shot her a sharp look. She took her gun and badge off her belt putting them on the small table next to her.
"It's been a while." Maura hissed into Jane's ear letting her hands travel up underneath the shirt grazing the taught muscles of Jane's back.
"Has it?" Maura smirked into Jane's neck at the sound of the detective's huskier than usual voice.
"Weeks." She began trailing kisses up the column of Jane's throat. "I've wanted to get you in bed since I saw you at the gym this morning." She admitted into tan skin.
This time it was Jane's turn to smirk. She had thrown off her boots and was at almost level height with Maura. "We'll have to remedy that won't we?" She growled into the medical examiner's ear.
…
Jane woke up the next morning to an empty bed and the sound of her alarm clock ringing. She rubbed her face and pulled the sheet up around her as she sat up. "Good morning!" Maura said brightly coming out of Jane's bathroom in nothing but a towel. She bent down to kiss Jane on the cheek.
"Mornin'." Jane replied sleepily.
"You still have hot water in there." She pointed to the room she just vacated. "I'll make breakfast while you get ready." Jane yawned in response. Maura left the room for a moment to get her bag from the living room when she came back Jane was in the shower.
Jane walked out of the bathroom fifteen minutes later with her hair mostly dry. She was wearing slacks, with her black socks but her top was still unbuttoned and she was without a tank top like normal (because they were all dirty) so her abs and bra were showing. She stopped dead in her tracks halfway in the room. Her mother was standing on one side of the bar and Maura the other side wearing a pair of her boxer shorts and her shirt from the day before. Maura was pouring a cup of coffee while her mother stared in shock. Jane started hastily buttoning her shirt up. The ball was in Maura's court, she was going to have to figure this one out on her own. "What's going on here?"
Maura tried to still her shaking hands as she poured the correct amount of sugar into Jane's coffee. She turned to Jane giving her the cup which Jane took. Then she turned to Angela. "Jane and I are seeing each other." She answered in the best matter-of-fact tone she could muster. She wanted Jane to know that she was committed to their relationship.
Angela Rizzoli looked between her daughter who was practically beaming into her coffee cup and Maura whom she looked at as another daughter. There was an ease between the two women that she knew from personal experience only came with time. It was like they had done this very morning routine a thousand times before. She narrowed her eyes. "How long has this been going on?"
Maura's reply was instant. "Three months."
"Three months?" Angela rounded on her daughter. "You've hid this from me, your own mother, for three months?"
"Hey!" Jane snapped her head up. "It wasn't my fault." She whined. "It was complicated." She mumbled into her coffee cup before taking another sip. Drama was already starting to fill her day and she hadn't even gone to work yet.
"She's right." Maura commented once again coming to Jane's rescue. "We wanted to make sure our relationship was on a solid foundation before we told anyone."
"And is it?" Angela prompted.
Maura could feel both Rizzoli women staring at her, waiting on an answer. She picked up her own coffee mug. "Yes." She took a sip of the hot liquid as Jane shot her another brilliant smile.
"Are you mad?" Jane asked her mother.
"I'm mad you didn't tell me sooner. I never would've invited Detective Freeman over if I would've known."
"So you're not mad that Maura's a…" Jane trailed off.
"A doctor?" Angela teased. It wasn't often that she had the upper hand over Jane, she couldn't resist. "Jane, you're my daughter. The only thing I've ever wanted is for you to be happy. I don't care who you're happy with as long as you're happy. Besides," She took a step forward patting Jane on the shoulder. "You've dated women before, it doesn't bother me." She said with a laugh.
Jane's jaw dropped. "That was one date in college! How'd you even know about that?"
"A mother always knows." Angela shot Maura a wink before bending down to pick up Jo Friday.
"What are you doing with my dog?"
"Tommy's walking dogs today. I thought it would be a good idea for him to take her so she wouldn't be cooped up in the apartment all day." She kissed her daughter on the cheek before walking to Maura to do the same. Then she walked slowly to the front door. "I still want grandbabies." She called out just before closing the door.
Maura laughed finishing off her coffee. Jane stared dumbfounded at her. "What just happened?"
"I think," Maura drawled out stepping closer to her detective. "Your mother likes me as your romantic partner." She leaned closer to Jane's lips.
"Can you not talk about my mother when you're about to kiss me?"
"Who said I'm going to kiss you?" Maura said quirking an eyebrow. Jane laughed pulling Maura's chin up, they both smiled into the kiss.
A/N: I've always read fics where Jane was the one that wanted to keep their relationship a secret so I just got to thinking what if it was Maura. Also I've never written so much in such a short amount of time as I have the past two months. Fanfiction is strangely addicting to write. And I am so freaking excited for the premiere on June 5! Song I listened to while writing this that has no real connection to this thing: Don't Leave by Ministry of Magic.