Hey, thanks for stopping by! This is totally random. Popped into my head at a coffee shop, after riding the bus. Let me know what you think. I'm trying to decide if I should make this into a full story, or just leave it as is. Read, and help me decide.
Warnings: Language, smelly bus people, crazy obsessive searchers, cute things
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. :(
That Moment
I saw him for the first time on a bus. I know. It sounds pretty cliché. And I hate clichés. But if you had seen him, you wouldn't have been able to help yourself either. He was beautiful.
Not that I noticed him right away. No. I was too self-absorbed. Even now, I'm still too self-absorbed. But if he was here, it would be pretty difficult to only pay attention to myself.
So there I was on the bus after a long day at the office, exhausted, and the last thing I wanted to do was sit on a smelly bus full of smelly people. All ogling me because I was the least-smelly among them. It was tiring.
I honestly don't understand what the appeal is. Sure, I have flawless skin, but it's too pale for my taste. And, yeah, my hair is so dark it reflects streaks of blue in certain light, which I guess is interesting. And maybe some people find my bored, disdainful expression 'mysterious.' But still… I really don't understand why I get so many interested stares from so many people. It's beyond annoying.
But him… I'm not sure why everyone isn't staring at him. Why would they ever look at me when he's around? They must be blind. I know I've already said this… But I really can't say this enough. He's beautiful. Radiant. God… I sound so frilly. And I never thought I would be frilly. I guess he's made me that way.
Let me get back to that moment. That first moment. The moment I finally got my head out of my ass long enough to glance around the bus, for what felt like the first time. I had heard laughter. That's what triggered it. A musical laughter, something about it was different. Compelling. It made me look up.
I had had a pretty shitty day. Hounded by my boss, who also happens to be my perfect, older brother, about the slow progress of our latest project. Then, I'd had relentless meeting after meeting. All of which were completely pointless and ridiculous. Meetings to plan meetings, where we should decide in which meeting we are actually going to start making decisions.
God… What was the world coming to?
Anyway, my day sucked. Like most days, really. Just going through the motions of my life. Not stopping to think about where I am or how I got there. But that moment made me pause to think. That musical laughter; it was so full of joy. Pure bliss. Completely opposite of my current useless and depressing existence. I looked up from my smartphone and glanced around the bus. At first, I didn't see the source. I looked and looked, but once the sound was gone, I simply went back to reading my latest mind-numbing email.
The bus went through a few more stops. The bus cleared out. Then, I heard it again. Filling the bus, bouncing off the smudged windows and the trash-littered floor. My head snapped up, and there he was. He was laughing and it was nothing like I'd ever seen. His eyes clamped shut, his head tilted back, and his mouth stretched wide in an open grin. He looked so happy. So Carefree. Like he hadn't spent the day slaving away and having his soul slowly sucked out of his ears. In that moment, for the first time… I truly hated my life.
It had been building for a while, really. The life-hating. To most people, I looked like I had everything. Money. Power. Good looks. But in that moment, I felt like I truly had nothing. What did any of it matter, if I never achieved this type of joy? The type of joy this man could find on a dirty, smelly bus in the middle of winter at the end of a sunless day. Obviously, I had done something very, very wrong. Because, with the way my life was currently going, I would probably never feel the way that this man does, in this moment, on this smelly bus. And the thought was excruciating.
Yeah, I guess I was being too frilling before. In that moment… I actually hated him. I hated him and his misplaced joy. We're on a smelly bus for God's sake. And I hated his stupid and insanely, happy smile. Who the hell smiles like that anyway? In that moment, I don't think I've hated anyone else more in my entire life. So, I glared. I glared more than I ever have in my entire life. And that's really saying something. I tend to glare a lot.
So, of course, once he opened his eyes, which happened to be the most beautiful, sparkling, blue eyes I've ever seen… God, I really do sound frilly… there I was glaring at him. Like an idiot. Like an angry, scary, asshole of an idiot. Because I was an idiot. Why the hell did I have to glare?
Sometimes, I really don't understand myself.
There I was glaring at probably the most beautiful man I had ever seen. Warm, tan skin. Bright, blue eyes. Bed-tousled, golden hair. Ridiculously, open smile. And I fucking ruined it.
He immediately stopped smiling. His face looked surprised, as his blue eyes went wide. A blush crept up his neck, as I continued to glare for all I was worth. I think my mother was right; if I do hold an expression for too long, my face does get stuck that way.
He slowly began to look confused. Then offended as his blush deepened. Then he decided to glare right back. And…
It was the cutest damn thing I've ever seen in my entire life.
Hn. I keep talking about 'my entire life,' like it's worth comparing anything to or even mentioning. My entire life before this moment sucked. Born as the second son of the highly-influential Uchiha family, I was always given the best of everything, or at least the hand-me-downs from my older brother, Itachi, which were pretty good, too. My life changed a bit, when after graduating at the top of his university in business, Itachi had rebelled against my parents' high-expectations and disappeared for a while. Even today, he won't tell us where he went for those six years. I was still in high school at the time, so after he left, I received all of my parents' misplaced frustrations and newly-found hopes and dreams. I suddenly became the heir to the Uchiha name, instead of the forgotten second son, and with it came all of the pressure to preform and the censure when I didn't measure up.
I resented Itachi for leaving. But… at the same time, I understood him. Especially since I was trying the fills his shoes... and completely failing at it. So, when he showed up six years later, while I was finishing my last semester at college, I can say I was initially relieved. Off the hook. My parent's welcomed him with open arms, and I was once again forgotten.
At least, momentarily.
This time around, my brother was hell-bent on making sure I was included in the family and in the business and not forgotten and left to fend for myself. So, I was included. I'm still not sure if I should be grateful that he cared so much or resentful, since I never wanted to be a part of the family business in the first place. But what could I do? Protest like my brother and disappear?
But I could never do that. For one, I'm not brave enough. Two, I wouldn't want to put my parents through that again. Even if I am just the worthless, second son, I'm sure they would still mind. Three, even if I left, what would I do with myself? I have no idea. And, anyway, I'm good at business. I'm intelligent, cunning, strategic, and competitive. It makes sense for me to be here.
Like sense ever brought anyone happiness…
Of course, then we come back to me glaring like a maniac on a dirty, smelly bus at a beautiful man because he had the audacity to laugh. That doesn't really make sense, and didn't bring me any happiness, either.
Go figure.
So, we're glaring at each other. Me: super scary and insane. Him: super cute and non-intimidating.
He reaches his hand up and tugs the cord along the windows, without breaking his eye-contact with me. The loud 'ding' reaches my ears. A few moments later, the bus swerves and jerks to a stop. He stands up, and I swear my heart is about to punch through my chest. And still, like an idiot, I'm glaring.
He says in a surprisingly, up-beat voice, "C'mon, Kiba. There are one too many assholes on this bus. We can catch the next one." With that, he grabs the arm of the man seated next to him, who must be 'Kiba,' and yanks him off the bus. The doors quickly snap closed behind the two. He turns back around and sends me one last glare through the window. And the bus drives away.
And in that moment, I knew I had to see him again.
It's been two and a half weeks. Two and a half frantic and agonizing weeks. And I think I've become a tiny bit obsessed. And maybe, a bit of a stalker. Well, I don't know. Can you be a stalker, if you haven't actually found the person you're trying to stalk? I don't think you can. Because then you're just a searcher. So, I guess I've become an obsessive searcher.
And I can't find him anywhere. I've tried everything. Well, everything to do with busses. At first, I tried to take the same 7:37 bus and sit in the same spot for a few days. He never showed. So, then I started methodically going through the bus times, seeing if he would be there. I took the 6:55 bus. Then the 7:09 bus. Then the 7:23 bus. Then the 7:51. And so on. I didn't see him.
Then I tried bribing the bus company to give me the security tape of the bus I took on November 21st, hoping I could at least get a picture of the guy. The customer service representative refused, no matter how much I offered. She told me it was against 'the rules.' Like anyone would know. I finally broke down and told her I was looking for someone on the bus and I had to find them again. That didn't seem to help. The woman I was talking to, who must be trying for sainthood, didn't believe it was right to invade someone's privacy like that. I, then, adamantly insisted she give me the tape, using all of the force and power behind the Uchiha name. I had to find him, I told her.
She offered to pay for my counseling.
I wasn't sure how to respond to that, so I hung up on the bitch. Deciding it was better to go a different route, I paid a professional police sketch artist to draw the man, from what I could remember. It came out surprisingly well, and it seems I remembered his every detail. Which was thrilling and slightly embarrassing. The artist keep asking if I really only saw the guy for a few seconds on a bus. He was really amazed and little bit worried by how much I was able to memorize, in those few seconds.
I politely told him to mind his own damn business.
After I finally received the sketch from the bastard, I wasn't quite sure what to do with it. Do I post it at every bus stop along the 49 bus route? Maybe in the window of every metro bus? Or do I line every, last street in Seattle with his face? And if I did, it what would it say?
MISSING PERSON
(insert sketch here)
I didn't realize he was missing, until I heard him laugh and saw his face, and then he changed the meaning of my existence.
If you see this man, please look away as soon as possible, so I don't have to kill you, and call
1-800-IMCRAZY
Or go to the website at:
www . imobsessedwithamaniveonlyseenoncebuticantstopthinkingabouthimsoihavetofindhim .com
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that would go over well… I would probably end up committed.
But on the bright side, Saint Costumer Service Bitch may be willing to pay for my stay at the institution.
So, I've gone back to riding the 7:37 bus. Reading emails on my smartphone. Bored expression. Ignoring the world. Except this time around, I'm not quite as bored as I was before.
Every time I get on the bus, I study every, smelly person seated in every, smelly seat. I walk all the way to the back of the bus just to make sure I don't miss anyone. I discreetly make my way back to the front, acting like the back of the bus is too full or too dirty to sit in. Then, I stake out the front of the bus, and every time it lurches to a stop, I make sure to study every, smelly person that comes on-board. With an expression of boredom and disgust, of course.
Yeah, it sounds pretty crazy to me, too.
But what else should I do? I have his picture, but no idea how to use it without looking crazy. Although, I'm pretty sure it's crazy to sleep with a police sketch of a man, who I've only seen once, underneath my pillow.
But let's not get into that right now. The bus has stopped again.
So, now I must study faces.
I think I've given up. It's never going to happen. He is never going to walk onto this bus again. I lost my chance by glaring at him and scaring him off the bus. What if I scared him so much, he decided to never use the bus again for fear of running into the weirdo that glares at people who laugh on the bus?
Whatever. It doesn't matter. What would I have done once I saw him again, anyway? I would probably glare some more. And if I could unclench my jaw long enough to speak, I would probably say some scathing remarks that would only serve to insult him and push him away.
Because if I'm anything… I'm self-destructive.
And that would just start a cycle of self-loathing, which would trigger more glares at the man, who inadvertently caused the self-loathing. Probably best to just forget about him and his beautiful, open-hearted smile and expressive, blue eyes.
I would just ruin it anyway.
I stare glumly out the window at the fitness-obsessed bikers in their bright-yellow, windbreakers and their annoying, flashy bike lights. I feel the bus jerk to a stop. The smelly person next to me the raises out of the seat, and I feel the weight of different, smelly person sit down.
The bus jolts forward again and I glance down at my smartphone. Another mind-numbing email.
"Hey, asshole."
I freeze. I know I've only heard his voice once, but I can't mistake the sound. My heart stops for a moment, before restarting with a lurch and running a full pace. As if in a trance, I slowly lift my head. The world around me seems to have stopped.
I meet his eyes. The same bright, sapphire eyes I've been searching for, for four aggonizing weeks.
"Fancy meeting you here," he smirks. My eyes flick down to capture the movement and then settles on those full lips for just a moment too long to be deemed appropriate. He doesn't seem to notice, and continues to speak. "All the other seats are taken, so I guess I'll have to settle for sitting next to your crazy ass. Just try to keep the glaring to yourself this time." He laughs at his own joke, and it's just as mesmerizing as the last time. Blissful. Captivating.
I'm an idiot. Because the only response I'm able to make, to the man I've been obsessively searching for, for four God-damn weeks now, is "Hn. As long as you promise to keep the stupid to yourself this time."
Again. His expression turns from laughter, to surprise, to offended, to finally land on a glare.
And it's the cutest fucking thing I've ever seen in my entire life.
Thoughts? Feelings? Should I continue with the craziness, or just leave it as is? Let me know what you think.