The Trouble with Furby
Summary: A Furby innocently enough finds its way into the hallowed Halls of Hogwarts. What happens when it gets loose with some 'help' from our favorite mischief maker Peeves? Will Hogwarts ever be the same? Come enjoy the fun that havoc can wreak!
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it doesn't belong to me. Only the situations that I put the characters or references into are mine. Otherwise Furby belongs to his creators, the Harry Potter crew belongs to JK Rowling and the Gremlin movie references all belong to whoever published/ filmed the movie. There is no money being made off of this story and is meant for entertainment purposes only.
Whew, that was the longest most boring disclaimer ever! But in this case, dealing with so many different people's stuff, one cannot be too careful! I suspect they would be sourly disappointed with my lack of funds if any of them decided to come after me. I am merely a poor college student with an over active imagination, that's it.
A/N: This was just a funny little thing that popped into my head as I was reading a fan fic, I can't remember which one. The inspiration came from a description of Dumbledore poking at one of his trinkets in his office and my brain then substituting a Furby. This is most likely due in part to the fact that my friends and I have too much time on our hands and spent an hour looking at 'is it a good idea to microwave this?' a YouTube video 'series' where they microwave anything and everything, because they can. They have even microwaved a pair of Furbys. Hehe.
I guess this is a good time to point out this is definitely AU or at least not HBP or DH compatible. Dumbledore is very much alive and the war has ended, Severus has had no problems after the war with the Ministry etc. This also includes the fact that Severus and Hermione are married. I really don't get into the details, I am merely operating off of the premise that what is, is. If something comes up in the story that I feel needs to be explained away then that is when it will be explained. Other than that, substitute whatever warm and fuzzy or hard and difficult back story that you want.
Also I don't know if Furby was ever introduced or sold in Europe, don't know why they wouldn't be, but being from America I know that they were sold here, so that is where this particular Furby originates (as long as you don't look where it was manufactured, then you will see that it and everything else in the world I swear, was made in China.) for those who don't know what a Furby is I am sure that they are still available to buy over the internet or eBay. Your best bet would be to Google it for pictures or Wikipedia will likely have something about them. They were a major fad over here in America something like 5 to 7 years ago. Personally I find them to be annoying, my uncle bought on because he thought it was cute.
I must also say that as the story goes along I begin to have a bit too much fun with the whole ordeal and have played with parities of things and have put what I think are humorous twists and kinks in to the life of our dear Potions Master, Headmaster and well, anyone else that I can get my hands on as a writer. I believe that the amount of fun I had writing this should be criminal, but there isn't any law against laughter so, hope you like the zany things that have managed to come out on the page for you all to read. Anyways, on to the story and Enjoy!
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Chapter 1
An Unwanted Birthday Gift
Hermione groaned loudly and dropped her head as she unwrapped the last of her birthday presents. She could not believe it; her parents had sent their twenty five year old daughter, Charms Teacher and Head of Gryffindor House a muggle child's toy they had found while on holiday in the States. They had sent her a Furby. They had even been 'so kind' as to include the batteries. Far more interested than he should have been, her husband of two years Severus Snape leaned in closer to her on the couch and reached out to examine the brightly colored plastic and cardboard package. He could barely keep the smirk off his face as he examined the fuzzy and unassuming looking toy through the clear plastic wrapping.
"So what exactly is this?" He grinned. He was interested in the fact that it was causing great embarrassment to his wife and wondered why it would. The thing in the package was something that he would have liked to zap with a hex if it appeared on his doorstep. Perhaps a niffer on steroids, or that had gotten into some sort of enlargement potion.
"It is a Furby." She said with a red face from behind her hands.
"Well I gathered as much from the shinny lettering on the outside of the box. But what is a Furby exactly?" He asked with a smirk. He was not particularly interested in what it was other than a cheap plastic and faux fur covered toy, but he was most enjoying the fact that it was such a source of embarrassment for Hermione.
"It is a toy that muggle children play with; usually they are around eight to ten when they play with them. After that they look at these types of things as an oddity that the younger children play with. I can't believe my parents sent it to me." She mumbled as she rested against his shoulder. "It is like they don't know I have grown up."
"Well, it is the thought that counts, right?" Severus said diplomatically. He had mellowed out a bit since he had married Hermione. And at this point during the day he was hoping to keep the peace and to have his 'extra special', secondary gift to be accepted more readily. He was most sure that Hermione would be in a much better or willing mood if he kept the teasing to a minimum.
"I suppose you are right." She sighed as she took the package back from him and peered in at the toy. She had heard enough about the things from a friend in the States to know that they were more annoying trouble than they were worth. As she looked at it she made a decision. "I guess I will just have to re-gift it." She said with finality. "My parents will never know and I will not have to look at it. Personally I think it looks a bit too much like a Gremlin."
"A Gremlin?" Severus asked.
"Yes." She nodded. "It was a movie made a long time ago. 'Don't get them wet. Keep them out of the sun, and whatever you do, don't feed them after midnight!'" Hermione told him in an attempt at an older man's voice. "Good movie, although a bit too worrisome now that I know some things in the muggle world's 'fantasy' is something far too close to the magical world's reality." Hermione admitted.
"It sounds very much like a Germlain." Severus said after a moment of thought. "They were brought to the western society by East Indian traders as an oddity. They have a severe intolerance for sunlight. Extensive exposure to water will make them break out and they are insatiably hungry. From what I understand they live in some of the high mountains in northern China and the Tibetan mountain areas."
"And how is it that you know such things and I don't?" Hermione asked in wonder. "I thought I had read all of the books in the library."
"That you very well may have done, but I can assure you that you would not find more than a book or two that would only give more than a passing comment about such a creature. There aren't very many of them left and they are very hard to find, even where they are still plentiful. Besides the parts of them that are useful for potions are of the most expensive and some of the hardest ingredients to get a hold of. Not only for their expense and rarity, but most of the ingredients that can be harvested from them are dangerous if not used properly, even in the super rare potions that call for such an ingredient. They are a creature that really is only known to the people who have seen them or who have taken the time to research them after they learned of their existence in the course of their Potions Master training."
"Oh." Hermione said, surprised by the wealth of knowledge Severus seemed to have on the whole ordeal. "You will have to tell me more about them sometime." She said as she leaned against him after putting the Furby down on the coffee table.
"You already know a great deal of what I know about them." Severus admitted to her. "I have only done enough research into the potions that require an ingredient from them to know that I will likely never have to use it. Most of them have a twinge of what many would call both very 'dark' and very 'light' magic's. Because of their power, it really depends on the intentions of the person making the certain potions to determine whether the potion will be used for great good or great evil. And since we have been through with the war for a good five, almost six years now, I do not plan on ever being needed to be called upon to even think about such a potion in my lifetime. Any 'new' dark lords or ladies will be sure to keep a low profile for a good long while before they rise up to be such a force as the former Dark Lord. This generation is too leery to let them get too far."
"I just hope you are right about that." Hermione agreed and snuggled against his chest. "But that still leaves me with the dilemma of who to re-gift that thing to." She said. "I certainly don't want it hanging around here any longer than it has to."
"Well Christmas is coming soon." Severus suggested. "Arthur is always looking for a new muggle something to play with, or Dumbledore enjoys the occasional muggle oddity every now and again. And I am sure that telling him it is not only muggle, but from a different country will make it all the more appealing. If nothing else I am sure it would give the old man something to chuckle about."
"Yes, I suppose you are right." Hermione said. "I think I will give it to the Headmaster. I think he might enjoy the oddity."
"Good, now that we have that settled." Severus said. He flicked he wand and the wrapping paper went into the fireplace while all of Hermione's gifts, Furby included, were sent to sit in a neat pile on her desk to be put away at a later date. "I believe that there is one more thing that you have not received for your birthday as of yet." He smiled in an almost predatory manner down at her. "Would you like your final birthday present of the evening Mrs. Snape?"
Hermione knew that tone of voice, warm and smooth like melted, velvet chocolate. She was also almost always more than eager to follow through with any ideas that proceeded from such a tone. "Well," she said with a smirk and shifting her weight so that she could sit up higher and more facing him on the couch. "I would very much like to know what sort of a present you have been holding out on me with, Mr. Snape." She managed to set herself in his lap by this time so that she was at eye level with him.
"Oh I do believe you know very well, my beautiful know it all." He purred in her ear, leaning forward to run his lips along the side of her neck before he captured her lips in a heated kiss.
"Perhaps." She admitted through a gasp. "But I would like a demonstration."
"That you will have, that you will have." He assured her as he shifted her off his lap and then stood up, offering out his hand to help her up. She took it with a feral grin of her own and let herself be lead off to their bedchambers for the remainder of the evening.
From his plastic box Furby blinked and scanned the room, taking in the surroundings and the powerful feel of magic all around. After a moment he closed his eyes again and went back to sleep. He was still confined in his box. But once he was freed from the tiny world of plastic and cardboard, there would be interesting things going on.
A/N: Well I hope that you all like this new story. For those of you who are waiting so patiently for the next chapter of Raising Phoenix I promise I will have it up soon. I will hopefully have everything in my life back into some semblance of an order so that my brain is back into a straight line within a week after Thanksgiving and will be able to post it soon after that.
In the mean time I have this story that I mentioned a couple months ago. It is nearly finished with only one more chapter for me two write up, that should only take me a couple hours. This is my light and less dark little ficlet that is a nice counterpart to the darker bits of the other story.
As always I must thank my wonderful beta Skydancinghobbit for listening to my sleep deprived ravings and for being so supportive as I go along and watch my world get turned upside-down. You and my other friends really are my lifeline for sanity.
Hope you all enjoyed the chapter and will drop me a review. I will be updating this fic much faster as it is nearly complete on my hard drive so I will likely give you all a chapter a week to keep everyone happy along the way. If you have time go check out some of my other fics on the way out. Live, Laugh, Love ~ Dragons Quill