Chapter 1: Can't catch a break
AN: Hey guys. This is my first story, and there's a couple things I'd like to make clear.
I have a defined plan for this story. I'll take suggestions, and some details may stay the same, but in the end, It's my story.
I'm sorta writing this for myself. Not looking to become a serious author, but I am taking this seriously. That said, again I will listen to suggestions and keep y'all in mind.
I, chaoslover814, solemnly swear to work on this fic for at least 15 minutes a day. Aiming for an hour, but I'm in high school, so that might not always be possible. This story will continue to be coming out until I explicitly say I'm done.
If you like Rick and Morty or One Punch Man, this fic is for you. Once I'm done setting up Percy, he's gonna be a sorta combonation of Rick and Saitama. Not gonna copy any story aspects from those two shows, but just certain aspects of those two characters. It'll be legally safe. That said, he obviously is gonna be OP. For those that don't like those shows, I hope you still enjoy. He'll be a different kind of OP than what you normally might see on this site.
All rights to characters in PJO go to Supreme Leader Rick Riordan. Long live the Supreme Leader.
Hope y'all enjoy! And awaaaaay we go!
"Yes!" screeched Annabeth, much to the displeasure of the snooty customers at the fine dining restaurant. I stood up shakily, because after all the monsters I've killed, the titans I've fought, hell even after holding up the sky, proposing to my girlfriend was the scariest thing I've ever done. Hearing that yes melted away my anxiety that had clouded over me the whole day.
"This is the happiest moment of my life" I softly told her as I cupped her face with my hand. The candlelight of the restaurant made her look like Audrey Hepburn in one of her romantic comedies. She had a smile a mile wide, and gazed lovingly into my eyes.
"Me too, Seaweed Brain." she said as she tried to withhold her giddiness. Suddenly her stormy gray eyes went from a look of bliss to a tempest, and her eyebrows scrunched up like she was reading a book that confused her. "Oh my gods, we have so much to do! We have to find a date, reserve a location, then there's the guest list, the flowers, who's going to do the music? Are we going to have a band, a DJ, a string quartet, what about the catering?" she babbled as her lips were going about a million miles an hour. I stopped her spiral into madness the best way I knew how.
I cupped her face, and gave her a kiss that express my constant, undying love. As I kissed her, I felt her whole body relax into the kiss. When we separated, I saw Annabeth relax back into her chair, smooth out her cherry-red satin dress, and sigh as if the weight of the world was lifted off her shoulders.
"Relax Wise Girl," I assured her, "everything's gonna work itself out."
Annabeth smiled, "What would I do without you, Seaweed Brain?"
As we headed out of the restaurant and to my Prius stamped with Blackjack's hooves, Annabeth and I gazed up to the sky as the moon and stars seemed to twinkle just for us.
"We finally caught a break, didn't we?" I bantered.
"Thank the Fates I got so lucky." she replied.
Honestly, at this point you must be thinking "Is he really going to tempt the Fates like that?" If you are, you're right. Hindsight really is 20/20.
Out of nowhere, an Iris message appeared in front of us. It was New Rome, and it was under attack.
"Hey guys!" panted Frank as he and Hazel shimmered into view. He had a few scratches and scrapes, and Hazel's hair looked like she just rolled around in the grass for a few hours, but health-wise they were okay.
"Sorry to ruin date night, but we could use some primo demigods to take out a few hundred monsters that showed up on our doorstep. Mind lending a hand?" he asked as if he was a neighbor borrowing some sugar.
"Whatever. This dress was on sale anyway." Annabeth grumbled, obviously less than pleased at the turn of events.
"We're headed there now." I assured Frank. After all that we'd been through together on the Argo II, I couldn't abandon him and all those citizens of New Rome who were trying to live their lives in peace.
We hopped in the car as I madly rammed the key into the ignition and turned it. I sent out a silent prayer I wouldn't get pulled over as I peeled away almost twenty miles per hour over the speed limit. I glanced over at Annabeth, whose face was ghost-like as her knuckles turned white holding onto the handle above the door.
"Could... you slow... down?" she stuttered as I weaved a needle point stitch in between cars and pedestrians.
"It's okay, I'm using my demigod driving! I have cat-like reflexes! We need to get there fast, or Frank's gonna be in trouble!" I tried to convince her, but she still looked ready to regurgitate her chicken parmesan.
As we rolled to a stop above the battleground, I floored the gas as we climbed over the hill into the valley that held New Rome. It still looked beautiful as the tall arches and columns stood strong. However, New Rome's beauty in strength was only slightly undercut by the hordes of empousae, dracanae, hellhounds, cyclopes, and other assorted baddies looking to feast on demigod flesh.
"There must be hundreds of monsters here." Annabeth noted. "But how are they this organized?"
I snorted, "What? They look about as organized as a satanic cult! Why do you think they're organized?"
Annabeth just rolled her eyes at me, "They're all together, aren't they?" Sometimes, she really makes me feel stupid.
I hit the gas again as the Prius as a car model would make it's first and last ever charge into battle. As we neared the scene, Annabeth yelped as the car slammed into a hellhoud with a solid thump, throwing it over the front of the car.
"Looks like he's going to a farm up north" I joked.
"Stop quipping, it's beneath you." Annabeth jabbed back at me.
"Yes ma'am." I resigned.
We continued to roll over dracanae and hellhounds on our way to the demigod front. We were almost there as a giant club suddenly smashed it's way through the engine block, and the front of the Prius crunched like an aluminum can.
"Man, Paul is gonna kill me!" I groaned. The club was raised again, before racing down to the windshield, threatening to grind me and Annabeth to a Percabeth smoothie. We dove out of the car as the club swatted the Prius and sent it on a sky high, out of the park trajectory.
"Hey, meathead!" I taunted as I whipped out Riptide. "No one messes up my step dad's car and lives!"
The cyclops raised his club as I dashed towards him, Riptide at my hip. The cyclops brings it down, but I sidestepped. I jumped on his club as he raised it again. Riptide lunged forward as I leaped from his club, and impaled him right in the center of his forehead.
"An eye for an eye." I quipped as I slid down his body while he dissolved into golden dust.
"Percy!" someone shouted. I turned around, and it was Frank, leading the Roman legions into the battle against a pack of hellhounds. Frank fought like a true Roman, bashing them down with his shield before piercing his gullet as they yelped for death. I ran over to him, and helped him out the best I could, while staying out the way. Slowly, we grinded the monsters down, until the last pack of dracanae turned around and slithered away as fast as their snake-legs could carry them.
I checked myself for injury. I found that while my slacks and blazer were pretty much goner's now, I came out unscathed. I saw Annabeth come back into view. Her dress was now torn off below the knees, and her princess curls didn't look very princess-y, but thank the gods she was alright.
"When are you going to give me a normal date that isn't interrupted by some monster attack or a god needing a favor?" she questioned, looking pretty peeved about the whole thing.
"When I stop being a demigod?" I shrugged. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, which was a sure sign she was not satisfied with that answer.
Then, Frank hobbled up to me. He got a gash on his leg, but to me, it didn't look life-threatening. "Thanks, man. I'm glad I can always count on the Hero of Olympus." he thanked me as he patted me on the back.
"I'll always be there for you Frank, but try not to make it a habit. Annabeth hates when our date nights are interrupted, and she seems especially mad about this one." I warned him.
"Why do you think that is?" he asked. My face grew a little red at the question.
"Well," I said sheepishly as I rubbed the back of my neck, "I kinda proposed to her tonight."
That made Frank grow red as a tomato. "Oh, so sorry dude! If' I'd known that, you have to know, I wouldn't..." he trailed off.
"It's alight," I reassured him. "I have to look after my friends too." My heart grew warm as I said that.
"Well, I still owe you one. If you need a favor, you got it, anytime. I have to go tend to the legion now. Take care of yourself Percy." He clapped me on the back one more time, then returned back to his troops.
I turned back to Annabeth just as she was ending her conversation with Hazel. "Bye, Hazel! Take care of Frank for me!" I laughed as I waved at her.
She smiled and waved back. "Always." Then she too turned back to the legion.
"So how about we go back to the apartment in New Rome and celebrate?" Annabeth suggested mischievously, waving her new ring as she did so. She winked and raised her eyebrows up and down, hinting that she wanted to fool around.
"Who are you and what have you done with Annabeth?" I teased. "I know my Annabeth would never suggest doing something naughty!"
"We'll just see whose naughty." she whispered suggestively as her hands explored my chest. I couldn't resist anymore. A fire boiled within me, and I had no choice but to crash my lips onto hers. I could feel her wrap me around her little finger as we made out, and my passion consumed me.
"Ahem!" someone cleared their throat, making us fly apart like the wrong ends of a magnet.
"What do you want?" I grumbled haughtily as I turned around to face the person who interrupted us yet again. To my surprise, it was Thalia, and she looked a little worse for wear.
"I know, I know, it's date night, but I need you to get over to Yellowstone Park as fast as possible." she demanded as if it was as easy as running to the store to get some orange juice.
"Why. In the FUCK. Would I do that?" I punctuated.
Thalia gave me her classic, death glare that I'd come to know and love. "Because the hunters are in trouble."