A school musical? At Hogwarts? Who ever heard of such nonsense? Who's directing? Professor Snape? What musical? THE SOUND OF MUSIC? Oh Dear Dumbledore! Whatever shall happen when the stage is lit and the actors begin to sing!?!

Act One I mean Chapter One of

HARRY POTTER AND THE SOUND OF MUSIC

Welcome to the Abbey
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"Are you sure about this Albus?" Minerva McGonagall said with caution and disbelief plastered all over her words as she sat in what seemed to be an endless meeting in Dumbledore's office. "A musical..." Her sentence trailed off. It seemed to have slipped out the open window and gone along with the breeze.
"I am just trying to find fresh, perhaps exciting elements to bring into the new school year," Dumbledore said as calm as ever as he sat behind his desk.
"I think it's a wonderful idea! Just what we need to spark this year up!" Professor Flitwick piped in, always respectfully pleasant.
"But none of us have any experience with musicals Albus, especially not Muggle ones" Minerva tried to sputter out more words, yet none came.
"Well" said a dark and lengthy toned voice.
"Speak up Severus" Dumbledore said. "We need as much help as we can get."
"I saw one once. My mother took me to see a musical at a Muggle theatre when I was 10, and unfortunately I remember it quite well."
"Perfect!" Dumbledore exclaimed, clapping his hands together. "Then, Severus, being the only one of us who has any experience with Muggle plays..... I elect you Director."
"What?" Snape whispered back to the cloud like disposition of Albus Dumbledore.
"All those in favor, say Brownie Mix."
"Brownie Mix." The stinging words rang from each and every mouth in the office, except of course for Snape's. The words were like a death sentence to Snape. For many years his alliance had been with Dumbledore. "This is how he repays me?" Snape thought to himself.
"Well.....if that's settled...... the next order of business is: what musical are we going to perform?" Albus Dumbledore said with a crooked grin that seemed to be glued to his face. A dead silence fell over the office. Snape lifted his head up to find his fellow educators all staring at him.
"Well I certainly wouldn't know which one to choose! I've only seen one!"
"Well which one did you see?!" Minerva practically yelled.
"I don't know...... something about music....... too many kids....... nuns..... mountains....... curtains for clothes......... I can't remember the specifics!"
"Maybe," Albus interjected, "we could ask one of our Muggle-born students, they, growing up in the Muggle world, might have a better chance of knowing than us."
"Right-o!" Professor Flitwick squeaked. "I know just who to get!" He said with that oh-so-cheerful grin on his face. "I'll be back momentarily!"
"Not Granger!" Snape said in a whiny protest.
"Well why not?" Minerva's words toppled over Snape's head like a waterfall.
"Because!... she knows ev-ah-rey-thing!" He annunciated every syllable better than a judge at a spelling competition.
"And that's precisely why I'm getting her!" Flitwick said as he bounded, as best as his short legs could, out of the room.
"Maybe for once her big mouth will help us!" Snape shouted after him, secretly jealous of his ever constant happiness. Snape trudged back to his chair, plopped down, folded his arms, and put on the face of a pouty five year old child. There was silence for five minutes (which I will not try to narrate due to dull content.)

When Flitwick returned, Hermione by his side; Snape immediately stood up, which whipped the smile off of Hermione's face.
"Girl, your parents are Muggles, correct?"
"Yes," Hermione said, clearly not knowing where this conversation was going.
"And you grew up in the Muggle world, not knowing of your witching powers?"
"Correct," Hermionie stated, still engulfed in confusion, yet trying to hide it.
"Do you know anything about..... about musicals?" Snape said with a disgusted, yet prompt tone.
"Musicals?" Hermione smiled, which gave Snape an urge to hurl. "Wow. That's a drastic change of topic! I thought I was in trouble or something of that nature!"
"Why of course not Granger, that, I'm afraid, would be impossible." He spat out every word of his loathefully constructed sentence in an overly sarcastic tone.
"Well which musical do you want to know about?" Hermione asked casually. "There's Les Mis, CATS, Bye Bye Birdie, Guys and Dolls, Grease, Oklahoma, Phantom of the Opera, Little Shop of Horrors-"
"Little Shop of WHAT?" Professor Sprout retorted.
"Horrors, without a 'w'. It's actually about a plant." Hermione stated in her 'matter-o-factly' tone.
"Keep listing!" Snape demanded.
"Carousel, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat, The Sound of Music-"
"That's it. That's the one," Snape spat out at Dumbledore.
"If you don't mind my asking Professor-"
"WELL I DO!" Snape yelled, still infuriated at being cast 'director'.
"Severus, might I suggest that you sit down," Albus commanded, yet in an asking tone. Snape resumed his five year old disposition in his chair.
"Hermione, this year at Hogwarts, we are performing a musical."
"Really? The Sound of Music?" Hermione questioned.
"Yes." Dumbledore smiled as his fulfilling word claimed the air.
"Who's directing?" She asked.
"I am." Snape said, head still down.
"Oh...... well...... I.......I'd better be heading back to the common room....... It's getting late" Hermione stood up and quietly left the office. "Thank you for your time" Hermione said as her foot was out the door. The shock of Snape directing had put a delay on her automatic respectfulness.
"This is going to be so much fun!" Flitwick exclaimed, clapping quite loudly.
"Then it's settled!" Dumbledore said as he exhaled. "The Sound of Music, Directed by our own Severus Snape, auditions will be held this Saturday afternoon at 2 p.m. in the Great Hall. Anyone who wishes to be in the cast, or help with the production in any way is welcome to come."

When those words were heard by the hundreds of Hogwarts students the following morning it was mass shock and confusion.
"A musical? Here at Hogwarts?" Ron said as he shoved eggs and ham into his mouth.
"That's what I couldn't tell you last night! Aren't you excited?" Hermione gazed at Ron, thinking what it would be like if she was Maria and he was Captain Von Trapp.
"Excited?" Ron said in disbelief. "Yeah, like I would try out for something like that"
"You should!" Hermione couldn't help herself from screaming those words, her mouth half stuffed with bread. Ron looked at her in disbelief, mouth half open, still stuffed with partially chewed eggs.
"Well" Hermione said, regaining her sanity. "I'm auditioning. And you two should think about it! You would be making history! The first musical ever performed here, probably in any magical school!" Hermionie stood up. It was Saturday morning, exactly one week until auditions. "I'm going to go send an owl to my parents asking them for a copy of the script and all the songs." She looked at Ron once more, daydreaming, then left.
"I don't think I've ever seen her that excited about something, not even S.P.E.W." Harry commented, finally speaking up.
"Yeah...... and she's lookin' at me all weird" Ron dismissed the idea and went back to his eggs.
"Moron" Ginny said as she got up from the table. It was obvious to her what Hermione was thinking. But, remember, Ron has the 'emotional range of a teaspoon!' Ginny shoved her elbow into his back as she walked by.
"Wha-?" Ron said to his younger sister, eggs dripping out of his mouth."

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THE END OF CHAPTER ONE! AH I CAN FEEL THE CREATIVE ENERGY FLOWING!!!!!! HAPPINESS IN A BOTTLE! THE BOTTLE EXPLODED! AHAHAH I CAN'T CONTAIN IT! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
(Spins around in a circle, falls to the floor, laughs hysterically, then suddenly stops)
oh and please review. A big ass thanks to Altagracia for sparking my mind with the idea for this story.
Oh, and I'm usually not a Ron/Hermione shipper whatsoever but it's necessary for this story, and plus I have accepted the fact that its freekin meant to be thank you J.K.R. (who by the way owns all the stuff accept for SOM, sound of music) SOM is not owned by me. Umm im not quite exactly sure WHO it belongs to†but it's not me. So don't get your panties in a bundle. Well, I do own my genius. That is all.

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if you love the story PLEEZE REVIEW!

love to all

except for

1. Matt Furay, who shall never be loved (may he die alone, unloved, even by his own dog)
2. Lauren Jones (who shall be condemned to death when I become Queen of the World†oh how I will love to see her slowly die in the presence of myself)

but besides that Love To All (especially if you review!!!!)

It is usually Vicious Luv, but considering this is a Harry Potter fic

Sirius Luv,
Naomi