Why am I here?

Where do I begin?

The grey saberess was laying down by a fire, her paws were crossed much like a human would their legs. Her teal eyes glowed among the flames, if you looked upon them you would see the universe and beyond it seemed. Gathered around her was a rather peculiar group of animals who's lives were, very apparently, intertwined indefinitely. She looked around her, and saw three Mammoths, two sloths, a molehog, two possums and..

She quickly looked away, noticing the other saber ahead staring at her..reading her. She decided to look back at the dancing flames, their light giving comfort and warmth to her.

I mean.. It's perfect, this life. I suppose, coming from a different perspective one wouldn't really think so.. But this is primarily due to some realization that if you were to live my life you would miss something you love in your own. It's true, and that's how you and I are different... Our stories. It's funny though.. No matter how many times you tell someone a story, they can only experience everything vicariously through your words, your expressions and your emotions. This herd... Will never know. Much like I will never know the trials and tribulations they've experienced to be able to ascertain the life they live now.

Let me put it this way... When living a life at sea, one truly gathers an appreciation for the surroundings which envelope your view. It's different.. A once in a lifetime thing. But you must understand that no matter where you are, you always notice a void growing in your heart.. The wanting feeling can deprive you of that sense of perfection and bliss. I'll be the first one to tell you that, in my own elation, I've always noticed that one thing was missing among the crew and on the ship itself... A sense of family. When the time came for these feelings to materialize I would often turn to the water for advice. Here's what I've found to be true:

My life has been spent searching... Searching for an elusive truth, one which has found itself embedded in me.. Hidden, secluded and unseen. What this truth was, for many years was hidden under the impression that out of my already decrepit life was a sense of adventurous wanting. So, in an attempt to satiate my unending need to retrieve what I was missing I ran away from all responsibility to take on a life of.. What I now see as distasteful and repugnant acts of hatred disguised as "Work". All of those lives... Those families.. And for what? "Bounty".. A reward that wasn't even ours to claim..Do those children still dream and think about their mothers smile? About the adventures the day has bestowed upon them? Do the mothers and fathers still think about what their children will develop into? Waiting until they become elderly and still smiling a now withering smile to the adult forms that were once tiny bodies comprised of innocence and ignorance, who would look upon them and remember the faces of their elders as they were many years ago? Or do they now accept that a fate so unfairly given by that primate was given against the will of life, and do at last lay with their loved ones under eternal light, eyes closed in peaceful repose? Pillaging.. Raping... No.. It wasn't worth it. None of it. I knew that these unspeakable acts were nothing more than pretentious acts of greed and violence, born out of a need to show power over others.. To be " The Master of the Seas".. It showed through the obsequious crew... All of which were acting sycophantically in an attempt to score the next opportunity to take the spot as first mate... Bowing down to an animal which knew no boundaries. Disgusting.

That's why I did it. That fateful day.. And it all started when I laid my eyes on him.. I had realized at that moment that a saber, sloth and mammoth were, despite the natural ways of the world, walking a conjoined path together. Whatever their business was, they were definitely in it together.. What I saw was what I wanted... Needed damn you. You.. You were my truth. You were the catalyst that began a domino effect which grabbed every fabric of my own reality and flipped it upside down.. Much to my pleasure. "We have each other's backs.." A phrase so simple but life changing, and in my own subconscious, which had unified itself with my heart to engender the decision to leap into the unknown, not knowing what would happen..I had realized that this is what I needed. What happened was a good thing. I'm content with knowing that, in my quickly fleeting time here, I shall be given the compassion, the love and care which has been deprived for so long. And it shall be done so with a group that no one else can say they've had the honor of living amongst. This I know is true.

All of those years.. Wasted. Spent in a drunken wave of power hidden in the guise..a facade of perfection. A mask brought over this face which was clearly in pain.. And you knew it. How you knew it was beyond me, but now that I'm here that question is irrelevant.

I shall forever live my days among the stars in a blissful state, conjured by you.. And your "family".

I shall forever live among those who care, their love for one another undivided by who, or what we are.

I shall forever live knowing that, no matter what, I will not die unsatisfied by my decision.

I shall forever live knowing that my demons can now be kept at bay with the unimaginable power elicited by the unified souls of each and every one of you guys.

I shall forever live, and die, a happy saber.

"Shira?" Diego's deep voice reached her ears, making her come back from her trance. Her vision had refocused from the fire to the orange saber.

"Yes?" She said smoothly, giving no hint of the internal reflection that had just taken place.

"Are you okay?..."

Shira smiled,"Yea.. Yea.. I'm fine. I'm alright now." With that she rested her head on her paws, and withdrew her eyes into whatever world she wished to explore.

I'm complete.

Since I did one for Diego, I had decided that who else needed one but Shira. So I hope you guys like this one :), this gives me a sense of relief when I dig into this part of my mind..I Thought it would be especially good to do it at night so I could tire myself out :p. Kind of ironic.. Diego's was done in the morning, this one was done at night. Let me know if you thought this was good, bad or ugly, and give me some suggestions on who I should do next!