iWant You

No matter how many people I knew, I had never met anyone quite like Sam Puckett.

She's a fast, whimsical hailstorm that crashes down on every single passerby.

Well, except for me, it seems. I am the one patch of sun she spares through an endless storm. I am, to her, special.

She hurts others both physically and emotionally; but not me. Because I am one of the few people of this world that sees her as she truly is.

Yes, she's not like other girls. She's inappropriate, strong, and rude.

But she's still my best friend. I will love her to the ends of the earth. To the moon and back.

But she won't ever love me the way I want her to.

She won't ever want a romantic relationship with me.

I know it's not me, but I know it's not really Sam's fault either. She's into guys, and neither one of us can control that. Sure, I'm a bit sad about the circumstances, but that's just the way the world works.

I'm not an open lesbian, or at least all the way. Freddie knows. Spencer knows. That nosy lady from 11D knows (although that wasn't really in my control.)

So, let's just say the closet is creaked open a little.

"Okay, okay, I know. He probably had a fever and didn't know what he was saying." Sam said from behind me.

I inserted my house key into the lock and turned my head to face her, "Will you stop and just be happy that Jonah asked you out?"

"But why would he ask me out?"

"Why wouldn't he?" I responded, meaning every word.

"Well, you know. Some boys find me kind of...abrasive."

I placed my hands on my hips, "No." I said sarcastically, hitching up my brown leather purse.

"It's true!" She said, following me inside.

I rolled my eyes and the two of us walked in, and after Spencer told us about the new movie he was making, Sam's phone rang. She was smiling as she talked so I knew it must be Jonah.

"Jonah wants to take me to a movie tonight." Sam said, after hanging up.

"You said you had a ton of homework?"

"I didn't say I was going to do it."

And with that, she left. I was proud of Sam for her new relationship, even if it wasn't with me. I just wanted her to be happy.

I quickly found myself fed up and annoyed just three days into their relationship. She ignored me and Freddie (which for him, wasn't much of a difference), ditched iCarly rehearsals, and spent every waking moment with her boyfriend.

So, on Tuesday, I approached Sam at her locker to greet her. But to not anyone's surprise, Jonah came and interrupted me mid-sentence.

He wrapped her in a hug and kissed her right in front of me, over and over and over. A few seconds into it, Jonah opened his eyes and looked at me through squinted eyes. I rolled my own and silently wondered what that was about.

Could he be seeing right through me?

I didn't want to take any chances, so I walked away.

At lunchtime, I joined Sam at the table. Or at least, tried to. Because out of nowhere, I was pushed down on the ground, my can of Peppi Cola spilling all over my newest shirt and my lunch spilling all over the dirty floor.

As I looked up, I saw Jonah glaring at me.

"Hey, Baby!" Sam greeted, not even acknowledging my presence. She fished around in her brown lunch sack and pulled out a can of whipped cream. But as she was shaking it, it slipped between her fingers and landed on the ground. Sam reached down to grab it, but Jonah picked it up instead.

He handed it to Sam, shooting one last warning look at me before eating his own lunch. Why was he doing this? Because by now, I knew that he was aware of my feelings for Sam. But what did that matter? Could he possibly be...threatened by me?

I peeled myself up off the ground, frowning at me ruined new top. I bent down and grabbed my lunch tray, but slipped in a puddle of my spilled Peppi Cola and fell again. But someone caught me, and gently helped me up.

I turned around and smiled at my savior, which was Freddie. He helped me clean up my things and walked me to the trashcan, watching me as I threw my things in the trash.

"So, what happened?" Freddie asked, as we walked over to my locker. I turned the dial and pulled a pink hoodie over my head.

"Jonah happened." I stated.

"Really? What'd he do?"

"I was just trying to sit down across from Sam, and he pushed me down!"

"He did not."

"Did to! And if that's not enough, every time I even try to talk to Sam he pops out of nowhere." I shook my head, "This is ridiculous."

Freddie nodded his head in agreement, "So are you going to tell Sam?"

"No. I couldn't even if I wanted too. She's always just typity, type, type..." I said in a mocking tone, "It's like she just doesn't even care about me anymore!"

Freddie frowned and pulled me into a loving hug, "Carly." He said, "You know that's not true. You and Sam have been best friends since when... forever? There is no way that could happen!"

I leaned in closer to him, "But Freddie..."

He shushed me and pulled me closer to his chest. I laid my head on his shoulder and began to cry, "I want to talk to her so bad!"

"I know." He said, "Don't worry Carls. I'll take care of this. I'll talk to Sam." The lunch release bell rang, and we were surrounded with an endless student sea.

"Hey, its fourth. Don't you and Sam have English together?"

"Yeah, but she never talks to me because Jonah texts her during the entire period."

He patted me on the back, "Don't worry, about a thi-"

"Shut up, Freddie." I said, silencing him.

It was the end of sixth period, and I didn't have a class during seventh. Freddie didn't either, so when he walked up to me I got excited. Not about him really, but about Sam. She was there, bending his arm behind his back, looking agitated.

"Hey, Carls." She greeted, throwing him at me.

"Hey." I responded, pulling her into a tight, warm hug.

"Benson ripped me away from Jonah. Got all mouthy on me." She said, "Somethin' about not paying attention to you, but Carly have I-"

"Yes." I answered.

"Okay, maybe I've been a little distracted lately, but don't I call you-"

"No."

She took a bite of the donut in her hand and looked at me, "Okay, in what situation have I ever ignor-"

"It's me!" A voice-that sounded a lot like Jonah's-echoed from Sam's phone.

She squealed with delight, "Isn't that cute? Jonah recorded it to play every time he texts me."

"Yeah, its adorable and I thought we were talking!"

Sam pocketed her phone, "Yeah, we are."

"Sam. This is serious! You are so caught up in Jonah that you don't even see the simplest things! Like today at lunch, when Jonah pushed me off my seat."

"What?" She said, "That's ridiculous! He wouldn't do that!"

"My point exactly. If you just stop paying so much attention to Jonah, you might notice me and Freddie occasionally!" I shouted.

"I'm sorry, it's just Jonah makes me so happy and I-"

"It's me!"

Sam looked at her phone, but I grabbed it, then put it in my locker.

"Seriously though, this needs to stop. Because if I'm being honest? I'm not even sure if you care about me anymore."

Sam looked taken aback, "What?" She brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear, "You can't be serious."

"I am."

"C'mon Carly, you know I love you."

"Do I? Because right now, I think its Jonah."

"Sam!" A voice called from behind me.

And, much to my convenience, it was Jonah. He walked up to Sam and kissed her, sending another glare my way.

I wiped a tear away, and then another, then another. Freddie grabbed my shoulder and walked me out of the school doors. It wasn't even close to the end of the day yet, and I already felt like crap. I had gotten my answer though, Sam did care about Jonah more than she did me.

In the bus lane, Freddie called Spencer to ask for a ride. I sat down on a cold bench next to him, my eyes red and puffy and my face splotched with tears.

I laid my head on Freddie's shoulder, crying my eyes out. A few minutes later Spencer pulled up and Freddie walked me over, helping me into the worn-out SUV. He got in beside me and pulled me close.

No one in the car spoke to each other through the whole ride. When we arrived home, I collapsed on my bed. Freddie accompanied me in the room, deciding to sit on a wooden chair near me.

It was sad to say that I felt that he was the only friend that truly cared about me anymore.

"Carls?" A feminine voice called from downstairs.

Sam? I thought, sitting up.

"Carlatta?" She shouted louder.

Yeah, Sam.

I heard stomping coming up the stairs and I sat up eagerly in my bed. I brushed some of my dirty hair out of my face.

The door creaked open, and I exchanged an exited look with Freddie.

But my guest wasn't the girl I wanted-needed to see.

It was Jonah.

I groaned, "What are you doing here? And where's Sam?"

"Sam's downstairs raiding your fridge. I told her I'd come and check on you."

"Awesome." I said sarcastically, "Now, get out!"

"Carls-"

"Don't call me that."

"Whatever. Look, we need to talk about Sam."

"Agreed." I said.

"I know you are into her." He said, "But a stupid lesbo like you doesn't stand a chance with a sexy blonde like her."

"I know." I said, gulping, "And I don't care."

He seemed surprised, "W-what?"

"Sam's not into guys. I can't control that, all I want is to be able to be around her. She's still my best friend, you know."

"I don't believe you." He said, "What about at lunch yesterday? When you were sitting down with her?"

I rolled my eyes, "Dude. Seriously? Is it completely wrong to want to sit with your best friend?" I laughed, "What, did you think I was making a move on her or something?"

Jonah bit his lip and his focus shifted down to the ground. I laughed, "You're ridiculous."

"And your hideous." He countered.

"Excuse me?!" I shouted, sitting up in my bed.

Freddie walked up in front of me and pushed Jonah out the door, his face red with anger. I had never seen him so mad, or last this long in a fight. So, I pulled myself off the bed and yanked him out of his grasp, then pushed Jonah to the side. He growled with anger and followed me and Freddie out of the bedroom door. I was at the top of the stairs now, still holding onto Freddie.

Then he pushed me, and I fell head-first down the stairs. I heard my techie friend calling my name over and over from the top of the staircase. Finally, I reached the bottom of the stairs and fell onto our hard-wooden floor with a loud (and painful) thud.

"Carly!" My blonde friend whispered from afar. Her loud steps hurt my ears, why was she shouting now?

"Carly! Carly?" She lifted my head up and looked me over, or at least that's what I think she was doing. I couldn't really hear-or see anymore.

My eyes rolled to the back of my head and I finally passed out. My friend's voice was echoing inside my head, and I felt concerned.

Why is she shouting at me? I thought.

"Carly!" I heard someone yell, a boy's voice this time.

What's wrong?

"What did you do?"

Then suddenly, I felt a strange softness on my lips. Whoever it was, they tasted like Fried Chicken grease and peach lip gloss. There was a pressing on my stomach, and my eyes began to open. I couldn't see much, the only thing in the room that wasn't blurry was my relieved-looking blonde friend.

"Carly!" She shouted, wrapping me in a relieved hug.

"S-Sam..." I said weekly, leaning my head on her shoulder, the only thing I could move since my body felt so heavy. She kissed me on the cheek which made me blush.

It's nothing. I told myself, she's just glad I'm back.

"I-I...I... what happened?"

"Sam's jerky boyfriend pushed you down the stairs, remember?"

I lifted an arm up, "Sort of." I touched my head and winced, "Ow!"

Sam grabbed my hand. "Don't touch it if it hurts, Cupcake!"

"Carly, maybe we should take you to a docto-" I heard Spencer say.

"Shut up!" Sam shouted, and then suddenly I was in her arms. She carried me up the stairs, making sure to be gentle as she ran.

She took me to my bedroom and sat me down on my bed. She propped my head up with two pillows and started rooting around in my room.

"Sam, what are you-"

"Be quiet." She ordered.

I nodded, watching her curiously as she grabbed one of my Cuddlefish T-Shirts that was worn out and a size too small. She ripped it in half and took it into my bathroom, returning seconds later with it sopping wet.

Not even bothering to be careful, she ran over to me and tied it around my head like a bandanna. It felt wonderful against my skin, and I looked up to thank her, but she was back in my bathroom again.

She ran back with my First-Aid kit and placed two band-aids on a couple of bleeding cuts I had on the side of my forehead.

"Better?" She asked, placing the First-Aid kit on my nightstand.

"Better." She said, "But how did you know how to do that?"

"Well, my Mom's had more than a few concussions, and she's dated a couple of doctors." Sam explained.

I nodded, and she climbed in next to me. I tried to adjust myself, so I could be closer to her, but she insisted that I stay in the position, so I could 'heal faster' or whatever.

"You know, you're starting to sound like Freddie's Mom." I teased, poking her in the side.

She laughed, "You take that back right now, Shay."

"No take backs." I said, "So..."

"So?"

"So... Jonah?"

Sam bit her bottom lip until it broke skin, "I broke up with him."

"I'm sorry. I know he made you all happy...and stuff." I said.

"Oh c'mon, pork chops make me happy, but they don't try to kill my best friend."

"Yeah, um Sam?" I asked, "There's something I need to tell you. Hopefully, this won't freak you out bu-mmpf!" My eyes nearly bugged out of my head when she kissed me. I had been waiting for this my whole life, but I never expected it to happen. So I was kind of frozen on the spot, unable to kiss back. That, and my head feeling sore as hell.

She pulled away seconds later and looked at my shocked face. She bowed her head to hide her pink cheeks, "Sorry..."

I smiled at her, "It's okay."

I brushed a strand of my brown hair out of my face and beckoned her to come closer. She did, and I kissed her. Over and over and over.

She pulled away from me and I smiled at her reaction; a mixture of happiness and utter confusion.

"So, Sam." I said, stoking her hair, "Want to tell me when exactly you became interested in girls?"

"As soon as I met you."