Please Stay
A/N: Hi this is just a one shot. I haven't forgotten my other stories, just been busy. Actually I got this idea when I was trying to write an update for one of my stories. It was inspired by Sugarland's "Stay". I'm not much of a country music fan but I heard this at the Grammy's this year and fell in love with it. Song lyrics are in bold italics and just floating in between the paragraphs, they aren't like hearing it or anything like that. I pretty much wrote them from listening to the song but I verified them online. The plot kind of follows the rules of HP but in certain cases it doesn't. It's definitely not DH Epilogue compliant. It's some years after the war. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: Yeah I don't own HP but I own this plot line and Helena (you'll see.) Sugarland owns the song, just borrowing it.
Warning: Mild language and sexual content. ***Spoiler Alert for The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway.
"I've been sitting here staring at the clock on the wall And I've been laying here praying, praying she won't call It's just another call from home. And you'll get it and be gone. And I'll be crying"
"You lied to me." She said. Mascara tears streaked her blotchy face. Brown curls were tumbling out of its elegant bun. Red painted lips were a smudged mess. Her dress seemed to be the only thing still in place. A deep Gryffindor red gown that hugged her in all the right places then flowed out like an endless red sea. There were no straps to bound the dress to her creamy white skin; instead a heart-shaped neckline took their place.
"You knew this wouldn't last forever." He responded. He hated himself for saying it. This should last forever. This relationship should be the one to survive, not the one that's breaking them apart.
"Typical. Fucking typical Draco. Thanks for telling me, that makes it all better!" She threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. He flinched, she never used to have the mouth of a wretch but of course that was his influence.
He pressed his hands against his temples and took a deep breath. Draco didn't want to hurt her this way. She wasn't supposed to fall in love with him. He wasn't suppose to either. It was suppose to be casual. Just friendship. However it rarely stays in the friendship stage. What a cup of coffee can do.
"And I'll be begging you, baby. Beg you not to leave. But I'll be left here waiting. With my Heart on my sleeve. Oh, for the next time we'll be here. Seems like a million years. And I think I'm dying. What do I have to do to make you see. She can't love you like me!"
Flashback
Casually walked into the new coffee shop in Diagon Alley one late afternoon. He scanned the room for familiars; he saw none and waited on line to order. He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his black slacks. Bouncing on the balls of his feet he looked at the menu trying to decide on what to get. He never knew there were so many variations of fancy coffee. Brews such as peppermint mocha with whip and tiny mints on it. Or Bertie Bott's new line of brews taking the flavor of his jelly beans. There was no mention of a simple regular brew on the menu. When it was finally his turn his eyes fell up on a girl of maybe sixteen. Her face innocent and sweet with blue eyes, blonde hair. Though her attitude didn't match the exterior
"Do you have just regular coffee?" He asked.
The girl gave him a look as if he asked her to go at it right here in the shop.
"Rachel, give me a plain joe with for the stick in the mud." The girl shouted loud and crass.
His eyes bugged out as he heard the voice that grated his nerves. His mind completely
passed over the insult.
"What size?" She asked.
"Medium."
"11 sickles."
He wordlessly handed her the money. She hand him his coffee. Glad to get away from the girl, he walked over to the separate area where the sugar, milk and such was. Over there was a bunch of condiments he didn't know could be put into coffee.
"All I want is sugar." He muttered to himself.
Finally he found a container labeled sugar. He smelled it to make sure it was indeed sugar and then preceded to put in his coffee.
Scanning the room again for a place to sit and enjoy his coffee. Almost every seat was taken. Witches and wizards talking to each other or laughing over some hilarious joke. The shop was bathed in warm tones of red and the tables in dark wood. A couple of couches in gold. His grey eyes fell up on the chairs near the window. Sunlight was pouring in and it seemed to focus on one particular patron, a female. An attractive female sitting in a black winged back chair. Her brown curls were pushed behind her small ears. White teeth were chewing on her pink lips. She had her legs crossed Indian style with a book in her lap. The woman was very familiar to him. She clasped her hand to her cheek and then smiled. At that moment he knew who she was. The same smile she's had probably all her life. Of course that smile was never directed toward him but on occasion he's seen it. Usually when she was with the two buffoons she called friends. He hadn't seen her since the war ended and his family disgraced. He saw an identical chair to hers open; only a small table divided the two.
Walking purposefully toward her until he was in front of the unoccupied seat.
"May sit here." He asked politely.
She didn't even look up but waved a yes to him. Enthralled by the book she took a piece of her blueberry muffin without breaking contact.
Sitting down he sipped his coffee. Pretending to survey the room but he was really eyeing her. 'Granger grew up nicely.' Wearing a magenta v-neck sweater that accentuated her well developed bosom. Shapely legs covered with faded jeans. Her feet clad in beat up dark blue trainers. Her manicured nails on her right hand seemed to be playing with a necklace; she was sliding the charm back and forth on its chained track. The left hand keeping her page in place. He was going to try for conversation.
"What are you reading?" Trying to be smooth and cool about it. He waited for her response.
Silence.
Not to be perturbed, he asked again.
"I heard you the first time." She responded. Her voice didn't sound as bossy as it use to.
"Well you didn't answer me, therefore I asked again." He said.
"I was reading. It's rude to interrupt someone while they are obviously engrossed in an activity." She had not picked up her head.
"Granger, I was just trying to make conversation. You know be social?"
Her head snapped up like a daisy. Slowly her head turned and her brown eyes fell upon him.
"Of course, I should have known. There is only one person on this earth that says my last name with such disdain and elite air." Shaking her head, Granger began packing up her things, stuffing her book into a leather brown messenger.
About to get up and leave, he grabbed her left hand to stop her. She looked at him in confusion.
"Ferret, you do realize you are touching a muggle-born right? Granger said.
"Yes I do but I don't care. Why don't you stay and we catch up?" He said. Clutching at the hope she would stay and talk to him.
Her eyes bulged out. "Have you gone mental? You just asked me to stay and play catch-up with you, like we were friends." Her voice was leaden with disbelief.
"No I haven't. However times have changed and there is a new era around us. I might not be as bad you think I am but you will never find out unless you stay and talk to me. If you don't then you are being the biased one." He smiled because he played into her rational and knowing that she despised ignorance. If she didn't stay and talk to him she would be promoting the very thing she was against. Cogs were turning in her head, resolve was weakening.
"What's the harm in staying and talking to me?" He gave her his best smile. He knew her brain was coming up with all the possible calculated risks in staying but against her will her body eased back into the chair. She let the bag fall on the floor next to her feet. His hand was still upon her left one. Granger gave him a look and he reluctantly released the soft skin.
"Well played Malfoy. What do you want to talk about?" She asked him.
"Well you have yet to answer my first question." He responded.
A wry smile came out. "The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway" she responded.
Apparently she saw a confused look upon his face.
"Sorry, he's a muggle author that's written plenty of books and short stories. I've read this one several times. The story is told through a character named Jake Barnes. He's a war veteran from World War I, an actual muggle war. He was injured and he lives in Paris. He has this friend Robert Cohn who is an expatriate. Cohn wanted Jake to go to South America with him but Jake doesn't want to. Then there is Jake's love interest Lady Brett Ashley. She treated his wound in England. However they aren't committed to each other and Brett won't commit to him because she can't give up sex…" Granger trailed off.
"Jake's impotent isn't he?" He asked.
"Yes. Of course she has a fiancé and Cohn is also trying to get at her. It's a big mess actually but it's beautifully written. You can't help but love and feel bad for Jake. He's the witness to all this and all he wants is to be with Brett. At different parts of the book you love and hate her because of what she does to Jake. I don't know what I would do if I was in his position. I guess I would be asking the person to stay in spite of my shortcomings." Granger smiled as if she realized a private joke with herself. Her brown eyes looked back at him.
"What?" She asked him.
"I was watching your face while you talked about this book. You were blushing and talking about it with such extemporaneous vigor. Quite fascinating." He answered.
Granger blushed even harder. Taking a small piece from her muffin and popped into her mouth.
"What have you been up to?" She asked suddenly. Her attention was fully focused on him. He'd never experienced that with another woman. While he will admit to be a narcissist, but this kind of attention was different. She was focused on him as Draco Malfoy as a man and not Draco Malfoy the wizarding world's wealthiest man.
"Well I haven't been up to much of anything. I work for the Magical Law Enforcement at the Ministry, once they thought me worthy enough to join them. They probably still don't trust me but they figured they have me close enough as a just in case."
She nodded, understanding. "I heard you got married. Are you still married?" Granger asked.
Mentally slapping himself as she brought about his reality. He had forgotten within a short amount of time that he was married.
"Yes." His answer was tight.
"Oh we don't talk about it. I'm sorry I was prying. I do that a lot." She apologized. Flustered by her impoliteness.
"No it's fine. I don't have anyone to talk about it with really. For some reason it's easy to talk to you, very natural."
She nodded.
"It was an arranged marriage as all Pureblood ones are. Her name is Helena. We met each other every summer since we were 14 to get to know each other. Beautiful, sweet and smart. I had no qualms about marrying her then. I thought I would be the luckiest man alive when I turned 21. Man was I naïve horny teenage fool (Granger is laughing). I mean I didn't understand that she could possibly be hiding something from me. She's control freak. The manor is kept so pristine and orderly. There is no place for me to come home and be human. She's rigid and inflexible. I was tricked." He looked outside the window behind Granger.
"In a way yes you were. She obviously was keeping a major flaw hidden but that's the problem with arrange marriages. Meeting when your 14 to get to know one another is a moot point. You don't know what kind of person you are at that time. Therefore how are you being truthful? You can't be. Grant it there are some arranged marriages that work our just fine without hitch but I see them as soul mates and they were going to marry eventually." She reasoned. Her way of thinking made sense to him and provided some relief to him.
"I guess the key part about this is that there is no love between us. I'm not in love with her and I didn't realize that would be an important component to a successful marriage when I was a kid. I didn't care about a successful marriage when I was kid. I'm 28 and alone in this world. I have never known a true love." The last part was more of an admittance to himself but he knew she heard him.
He could see her brown eyes heavy with pity and sympathy. "Malfoy…" She started, her hand had reached out and clasped his.
"Don't pity me. I've learned to accept it for what it is." He responded to her.
"I'm not but you don't have to accept it, you can get a divorce." Granger said.
"It's frowned upon amongst purebloods."
"You said there was a new era amongst us, break the mold Malfoy. If you are unhappy then you should leave her. I'm sure there's a woman out there in the world waiting for you. You can't be with her unless you free yourself. No one should have to live in this world alone and unloved." She gave a small smile, her thumb was caressing the top part of his hand.
Thoughts usually start out as seeds and tiny seed was just planted inside his brain. He already met the woman for him and she was sitting in front of him. His brain was trying knock the seed out while his heart was fostering it's roots.
"Enough about my troubles, what is the great Granger up to." He asked.
She smiled but understood he wanted to change the subject. She took her hand back regretfully "I'm not great Malfoy. I own a bookshop not far from here. It's called Spellbinding Books."
"You mean you aren't working for the ministry?" He thought for sure she would be working there, it only seemed right.
"No. After seven years of being in the thick of things, I longed for a different adventurous life. I still see Harry and Ron but I don't work with them. That life is for them, not me. If the need ever rose for me to fight with them again I would in a heartbeat. I do all sorts of things like mountain climbing in Peru and skiing in the Alps. I'm going to Southeast Asia with Ginny Potter and Luna Lovegood in a couple of months. I feel fulfilled." Granger was smiling. He could see she was happy and he wanted to apart of her life. He wanted to be the one she went on these adventures with.
"Are you seeing anyone?" The words flew out before his brain could realize their nature.
She was surprised but she shook her head no. A sigh of relief has washed over him.
They were silent for a bit but it was interrupted by green-eyed intruder.
"Hermione did you forget you were meeting me, Ginny and Ron for dinner?" Harry Potter asked. He hadn't taken notice of Draco yet.
Granger slapped her forehead. She looked outside and saw it was evening. "Oh my! I completely lost track of time. I was reading and then I was talking to Malfoy." He heard her say. Granger stood up, picked up her bag and put it over her shoulder.
Potter finally paid attention and saw Draco sitting there smirking, hands clasped in his lap. His eyebrows knitted in confusion and borderline disgust.
"Hermione what are you doing with him?" Potter asked her.
"What do you mean? I told you I was talking to him." Granger responded.
"Yeah I know but it's Malfoy, ferret boy?" Potter reminded her.
"I'm sitting right here Pottyhead." He said.
"And? I'm suppose to be considerate to you all of a sudden. You never showed us the same courtesy." Potter spat.
"Harry this is childish. Malfoy was nice to me and we were having great conversation. It's time to get over this enmity you both have, need I remind you that you saved him during the war." Granger said. He kind of like having her defend him and she was damn good at it.
"Don't remind me 'Mione" Potter whined.
"You are such a baby. How did you even find me?" She asked Potter.
"Well it's a coffee shop and you love caffeine. Add the comfy chairs and you've got a place that is made for you to sit, read and drink your coffee." Potter answered knowingly.
She giggled and playfully slapped his arm. Then turning to him she said "Bye Malfoy. I'll see you around." She was about to leave when he got up and grabbed her hand. Granger turned to face him and Potter glared at him.
"Can I say something to you, alone?" He asked, giving Potter a pointed look.
"It's ok Harry, I'll be right out." She said. Potter went to wait right outside.
"What's up?" She asked. She already became so accustomed to him.
"When can I see you again?" He asked. He was already desperate for their next meeting. One cup of coffee and exchanging of words already left him begging for more.
Biting her lip "I'm not sure Malfoy. What do you want from me?" She asked him.
He was stunned because he didn't expect that response. It was very blunt but he could understand. His question was a loaded one. He was a married man. She wasn't that kind of a girl. He knew he wanted to see her. He wanted to be with her. Take whatever he could from this. "Friendship?" He responded lamely.
Taken in his answer and slowly nodded her head yes. "I guess Malfoy. There can't be any harm in being friends with each other." She answered.
"Great. I'll see you soon." He said.
Nodding again, she went out the door and walked away with Potter. He watched them walk and then she looked back and smiled at him.
End of Flashback
"Why don't you stay. I'm down on my knees. I'm so tired of being lonely. Don't I give you what you need. When she calls you to go. There is one thing you should know. We don't have to live this way. Baby, why don't you stay. You keep telling me, baby. There will come a time. When you will leave her armsAnd forever be in mine. But I don't think that's the truth. And I don't like being used and I'm tired of waiting. It's too much pain to have to bear. To love a man you have to share"
Of course it didn't stay in the friend zone. He wanted so much more than that from her and he dragged her into his fucked up life.
"Draco, remember when I asked you what you wanted from me?" Hermione said after sometime. She was sitting on the couch in his office at the Ministry. On the top floor was a gala honoring bloody saint Potter for something, Draco didn't even know. He had to show up, apart of the job.
"Yes" He ran a hand through his platinum locks and they fell back to the front any way. His dress robe was lying there next to her. Her shoes were carelessly thrown behind him when she tried chucking them at him earlier.
"You had said friendship. You were lying weren't you?" She asked.
"No. I did want friendship. I wanted you in my life. I needed a way to see you again. Just from talking to you I knew I had to have you. I couldn't wait. I didn't want to wait. I said friendship because I knew you wouldn't want to be my mistress. But at that time neither one of us knew this would grow to be love."
"No Draco you wanted your cake and be able to eat it with milk." Hermione put her head in her hands, he could hear her sobbing again. He wanted to go over and comfort her like he would before this huge blow up. This was all his fault because he didn't tell her. She had to find out this way.
Flashback
He entered the Ministry's ballroom with his wife Helena on his arm. She was just as tall as he was. Wearing an elegant jade blue gown that compliment her golden tresses. She made him wear his black dress robes so that he could coordinate with. His eyes immediately searched for Hermione. He knew she would be here, Potter is her best friend after all. Walking further into the room, greeting fellow co-workers and other ministry workers as they moved. He introduced his wife to the newcomers and as soon as he could left her with Pansy Parkinson. Weaving in and of the tables that were dressed in black and white. Huge crystal chandeliers were scattered and hanging about the guests. He saw the raised dais where honored and his guest are suppose to sit. Weasley, Potter and Potterette were there. Some other people too but he didn't recognize them. He was getting desperate. He had waited too long to tell her and now it was urgent. Especially before she saw his wife.
"Draco." He heard his name called and he turned around. He was greeted with a wondrous sight. Standing before him was the love of his life in a grand red satin gown. Her brown curls in an elegant updo. A diamond wreath necklace had decorated her creamy neck. Lips painted in a sensuous red; ear pierced with simple diamond studs. Her small feet clad in red satin heel. An angel in red.
"Wow" He breathed. Whatever he had to tell her had left his mind.
"Do you like it?" She asked, unsure of herself in costume.
"Like it? No, I love it. Come here." He said. Hermione came closer to him. He smelled her jasmine perfume. He took her in his arms and began to lead in the waltz. They were in heaven at that moment. The room had melted and it was only them dancing. He pressed his lips to her forehead to savor the moment. It was too good to last.
"Is she here?" Hermione asked.
He knew who she was referring to but wished she didn't bring her up. "Don't Hermione." He responded.
"What, I can't ask? Well we wouldn't have to do this if you would divorce her. Hiding like criminals while she gets to parade around with you. You don't even love her. I don't get why you stay with her. We have been doing this for almost a year and I'm sick of having to hide my love for you."
"Hermione, I know all this but cannot we not have this discussion here?" He asked.
"Draco you never want to have this conversation. I'm starting to think you want to keep me as your mistress." She said.
He was about to answer but shut his mouth as his wife suddenly appeared by his side. He was in such huge trouble.
"Hello I don't think we've met." Helena stuck her right hand out to shake Hermione's hand.
Since they stopped dancing, Hermione graciously stuck out her hand. A excellent diplomat Hermione was. He could always count on her to act accordingly.
"I'm Hermione Granger." Hermione said.
"Oh you're Hermione? My husband has mentioned you a few times" She answered.
He was sweating bullets because it was only a matter of time before it came out. There was no way to stop this train wreck.
"Oh he has? Well I hope it was only good things." Hermione replied.
"Of course it has. He was telling me about your bookshop and all these adventures you go on. I really do admire you. You really are a lovely girl, are you here with someone?"
"Thank you very much. No there hasn't been anyone to catch my eye." Hermione didn't even chance looking at him.
"Draco we must set her up with one of your single friends. He has tons of them. What about Zabini? Oh I hear Adrian Pucy is single again. We'll figure it out later. It's so good that I met you here. Do you have any pregnancy books at your store? This is our first child and I want everything to go smoothly.'' Helena smiled.
Crash. He saw Hermione's eyes travel where Helena had put her hand. Underneath that flowing jade gown was a pregnant stomach. At least 2 months. He was ultimately screwed. Everything gone. Down the drain.
Hermione's eyes got big but she immediately fixed herself. "Oh wow. Congratulations to both of you, that's absolutely wonderful. No I don't at the moment but I could ask my friend Ginny if she knows of any good ones and send the list to you. If you will excuse me I need some air, it's gotten hot in here all of a sudden." Hermione walked away quickly.
"Draco she is a beautiful girl, I'm sure there is someone you know that you could set her up with." Helena stood in the spot that Hermione vacated.
"Yes, dear. I'm sure I do. I need to go to my office, there are some papers there I need to take home with me." He said.
" Ok Draco." She grabbed him by the back of his neck and kissed him full on the lips.
He smiled and left. Taking the opposite direction Hermione did.
End of Flashback.
"Why don't you stay. I'm down on my knees. I'm so tired of being lonely. Don't I give you what you need. When she calls you to go. There is one thing you should know. We don't have to live this way. Baby, why don't you stay"
He had known at least 2 months and he didn't tell her a single thing. Didn't warned or caution the blow for her. Seeing her eyes widened like they did made his guilt explode.
"I can't do this anymore Draco. I'm not going to be your mistress anymore. I didn't even want to in the first place but then you charmed me. You showed me an excitement I had yet to feel and I wanted it. I was fulfilled until I you came into my life. I fell in love with a married man."
The guilt was filling him to the point of an explosion. He was selfish fool. Look what he turned into. Hermione was pure, good and a wonderful woman. Now she's damaged and all wrapped up in his web. However he was going to keep on being selfish.
"Hermione why can't you stay?" He asked. Draco was desperate to keep from leaving
"SHE'S FUCKING PREGNANT DRACO!" Hermione yelled. "There is no way I can be with you knowing she's at home pregnant thinking her husband is a wonderful man."
"Hermione I love you."
"If you did you would have left her ages ago."
"I can't divorce her!"
She stood up and got in his face. "Yes I know because of some stupid pureblood practice that is out of date! I think it's because you are also a fucking coward for two reasons. One is that you can't stand up to your peers because if you quit your marriage you will loose face and that can't happen to a Malfoy. Two I believe that you have never been in love until me and now that its happened it's scaring the crap out of you. You use the 'I can't divorce her' as you security blanket because you are afraid of real feelings. You wanted your true love and you got it but you can't handle it."
Draco frowned. She was right.
"Draco I had issues with being your mistress in the first place because it is wrong no matter how bad the marriage is. You both swore vows to each other. Therefore you should try to keep them if you can't then absolve the marriage. But then my feelings started becoming more center and I started caring less about what it could do to her. I wanted to be center of your world. I began putting my heart and soul into it like it was a real relationship, even though my head said it wasn't. Now she's pregnant with your first child. I don't want to be the reason mummy and daddy are fighting. I don't want to be the home wrecker." Hermione sidestepped him and went to collect her shoes.
Draco followed her. "Please stay Hermione." He pleaded.
"No."
"I'll leave her." He said in desperation.
"No you won't. You wouldn't leave her when she wasn't pregnant. Why now? Besides you would be accused of abandoning not only your wife but child as well. You need to do what's right and sometimes that means denying yourself true happiness. I love you but I need someone who can commit to me and only to me. What if you leave her, then we get married, how will I know you won't do to me what you are doing to Helena? You've taken a lot out of me Draco Malfoy but no more. We are…over."
"I can't take it any longer. But my will is getting stronger. And I think I know just what I have to do. I can't waste another minute. After all that I've put in it. I've given you my best. Why does she get the best of you. So next time you find you wanna leave her bed for mine
Why don't you stay. I'm up off my knees. I'm so tired of being can't give me what I need. When she begs you not to go. There is one thing you should know. I don't have to live this way. Baby, why don't you stay, yeah"
Hermione was making her way to the door. He grabbed her right arm and spun her to him. Pressing his lips against hers. Draco was sure he was bruising her but he's been bruising her all this time. At first she wasn't responding but now she did. Draco was leading them to his couch where they fell. His fingers pulled the zipper down and moved the offending fabric. Draco began to palm her breast and she moaned into the kiss. Moving from her sweet lips to her creamy. Her hands were lost in his hair. Draco was able to slip of his hands down to her panties, they were already beginning to soak. Slipping two fingers into her folds and she bucked against his hands.
"Stop." Her voice heavy with arousal.
Draco ignored her and continued. He was going to be selfish and get her to stay somehow.
"Stop Draco!" Hermione said it louder and more confident.
His conscience made him pull back and listen to her. He sat up and next to her. Hermione stood up and zipped her dress up. She went and sat on the floor to put on her shoes, her back was to him. Her hair was even more disheveled than before.
"You asked me what was the harm in staying and talking to you that first day. The risk is Draco is that we've both fallen in love and you can't give me what I need." Hermione said. She continued to sit on his carpeted floor. Her shoulders were hunched in defeat, similar to his. Head was hanging low and he could hear the fresh waves of tears coming.
"I stayed for you that day and you can't stay with me for life. You need to go back downstairs. She will be wondering where you were. Don't forget to fix yourself."
A loud vibration filled the room. Draco felt it against his leg. It was the latest wizard mobiles, Helena got for him. He didn't even to look to know it was her and Hermione seem to know as well.
"Go Draco, duty calls." She was refusing to look at him.
He did what she said because she was right. He'd rather much stay with her but life will not have that happen. Standing right outside the door he watched her for a few minutes. He wasn't sure if he was suppose to hear it but he did. It was faint but it was clear.
"Please stay."
The End.
A/N: Reviews!!!