200: The Troubling Truth

by atl-criminal33

All these lies were eating her up inside. She went to work, and came home, just like she always did, but for three years she hasn't been the same women. Sooner or later JJ was going to get caught, she just always thought she'd get a chance to say goodbye first. What do you do when your secret past comes to light, and your life depends on it?

1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: The Start of the End

It's dark and I'm gagged. I can't see my surroundings. Due to the lack of oxygen I can assume that something is covering my face fully. I am positive that I have been made. I tried so hard to keep this secret; three years it has been. Three years, that left me with a knot in my stomach and demons in my head. I spent so much energy trying to cover up my past, from my team, from a bunch of profilers. It was stupid, it was naïve, but I did it to protect them. It was the only way to keep everyone safe.

I'm glad it's me they took, not Cruz or anyone else from my hidden past. Everything that happened three years ago is just another story that I'm trying so hard to forget, but somehow the dark memories keep floating back to the surface. I think of Will and Henry, and hope that they understand, that they can forgive me. I love them too much for it to end like this, but it was my call, my move that started this downwards spiral, so I am truly to blame.

I have to be strong, can't let their tactics get to me, but after so long of the constant pinch in the back of my mind whenever I try to let go, it has come to my attention that there's no point. I know that my team will do whatever is in their power to find me, but I know it will be too late. These guys are good, too good. Why are the bad guys always good at doing bad? It's almost ironic and I would probably smirk if I could open my mouth. I'm running out of time, or maybe my time has been up for a while now. Dragging things on is bad when they should have come to an end a long time ago. I'm just so tired of all the lies, the secrets.

Things will never go back to the way they were before. The people I killed, and got killed. The new people I've meant, and the friends I lost. My team will soon discover the monster I was, or still am. They trust me and I failed them. I guess there comes a point in everyone's life, when your past catches up to you and everything burns. You know what they say: you can run, but you can't hide.

I'm exposed, out in the open. The clock is counting down the minutes before the last blow. I am the trigger, and my past is the bomb.

My name is Jennifer Jareau, and this is only the beginning.

I'm so sorry.

Not sure whether or not this will be a long story. It's my first Criminal Minds fanfic and I just can't wait for the 200th episode, so I thought why not get all my thoughts out on paper (or online). Review and tell me what you think so far...