I do not own Star Wars

Authors Note: This is my first attempt at writing something without the characters being my own and the first time posting on here. So here it goes. Enjoy!

Rey

I saw his face before I closed the Millennium Falcon's door. He was filled with pain, anger... heart was pounding, ready to explode. I had betrayed him like everyone before him, Luke, Han. I walked away from what could have been. If I grabbed his hand the resistance could still be alive. Could I have changed his mind if I was by his side? Would he have stopped the attack? More people could be alive or everyone could have been dead. Was that a chance I was willing to accept?

The memory of his hand outstretched asking me to join him. Saying please. I so desperately wanted to grab his hand, wanted to join his side. I just wanted to feel the electricity that surrounded us that night on Ahch-To. Could I really just stream it down to wanting one feeling? No. I know the truth. I know that I wanted him to be by my side as much as he wanted to have me on his. Maybe we could have run away to some solitude island. I just don't know.

He is Kylo Ren and I wanted Ben. Can I admit that he is dead? Can I give up on something that feels so real and so close? Nights like tonight, when the rain is pouring down and everything is hushed by the falling water, are the worst. Ben keeps creeping into my mind. I can hear his plea over and over again. A word so simple but never simple enough. Please. Please. Please. He said please and I walked away.

Suddenly, everything became quiet and my breath echoed in the silence. My too small of a room, dark and filled mostly by the most comfortable bed I have ever slept on, was interloped with the embodiment of a man. The darkness of his cloak blended in with the darkness of the room like he had always been there just waiting for the right time to come strike me down.

"I don't want…"

"I know" He spit harshly back. "He lied. Snoke was not doing this." This gave her hope. Maybe Ben just wanted to come see her like she has been dreaming about seeing him. Though in her dreams they stand in the throne room taking each other hands, a regret my subconscious doesn't want me to forget.

"Why then? Why are you coming to see me?" I was so full of questions from the weeks of hiding out with the resistance.

"I would never come see you." Oh. I looked down at the floor hoping that I would look up and he would be gone... but not really gone.

"I don't have the strength to battle now," I tell him. The replied silence filled the space with a heavy air. He was still there trying to look anywhere by at her. Now pacing back and forth, I could hear the squeaking of his boots on the waxed floor.

"I should've killed you when I had the chance." Each word he spoke aloud hurt me more than I cared to admit yet there didn't seem to be truth in what he spoke.

"Please stop." Weakness invaded my voice. I asked him please. Why didn't I just say stop? Was this Kylo Ren or was this Ben? Can I separate them so easily as if they really were different people?

"Please? Who do you think you are? Invading my mind with your...your...emotions, your light. You left me. Remember? I asked you and you rejected me. No one will reject me again. I will find you and your resistance. I will find you and you will die alongside those you couldn't leave behind." I wanted to comfort him. I wanted to tell him to let the light in, to let me in. I wanted… more than I could give him. I could never join the first order much the same he could not join the resistance. Too much had been done on both our sides to be together in a war. It would be the end before it even began. I knew it but I still couldn't help but to cling to hope.

The awkwardness lingered as the bond started to fade.

"Wait. Wait!" His voice deepened in the darkness, his hand raised towards his chest with a pained look on his face. The rain continued with its soothing hum, there were no boots on a wax floor, and my heartbeat no longer filled the void with its echo drum. However, the black cloak and the man within stayed in the same place. His eyes narrowed in on me. "What did you do?"