AN: WARNING: CHARACTER DEATHS

Sorry, this just came to me in a moment of angst and emotion. I hate how this is, but a part of me just wondered, what if?

He stood there just watching it go by helplessly. She was happy and that was all that mattered. The fact that he was totally, completely, and entirely in love with her took backseat when it came to this. She was getting married and she was happy.

He had asked her to wait and she didn't. She told him 'never'. He gave up everything to go and save her life and she told him 'never'. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

And now here he was at her wedding, as one of the groomsmen. She had wanted him to be the best man but Clay had refused. It was still an issue between the two of them but forgotten at the moment. Mac and Clay were getting married and Harm just stood there watching. Harriet, as the Maid of Honor, had looked expectedly at Harm when the priest had asked if there were any objections but he had kept his mouth shut. God, how he wanted to say something. But he just wanted her to be happy above all. If this would make her happy, then he would let her do it.

He was hurting so badly inside. She had stopped by one night to tell him that Clay had proposed and that they were getting married. He played the role of excited best friend and was truly happy for her. The minute she had left, he broke down and cried. He had wanted to give in to alcohol but he couldn't do that to her. He had stopped drinking because of her. He had done a lot of things different because of her.

He was in love with her, he had almost told her once but she said 'never'. If only she knew how badly he was hurting inside. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

It was a somewhat large ceremony, full military was what they wanted. But since none of the other groomsmen were military, Harm had been forced to wear a tuxedo like the others. It was uncomfortable and he ached to pull at his tie and pull it loose. He actually missed the familiarity of his dress whites. He had grown so used to them over the years. He tried to plaster a smile on his face, this was her big moment, he needed to be happy for her but he was aching inside. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

"And do you, Sarah MacKenzie, take Clayton Webb to be your lawfully wedded husband" the priest asked.

After a brief split second's hesitation and a thought of something else, she responded, "I do."

"Then I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride," finished the priest.

Harm closed his eyes briefly as Sarah and Clay leaned in to kiss. He felt sick, he felt weak, he felt dizzy. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

He waited until they were in the confines of the reception room to loosen his tie. He sat there and watched as the lovely bride and groom danced their first dance together as husband and wife. The hours passed and soon Sarah and Clay had been sent off on their honeymoon, who knows where?

He watched as they climbed into the waiting limo and as it drove off. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

His face felt hot and with each passing moment, he grew more and more dizzy. The JAG family was watching him, seeing how he was handling the moment and all had seemed well. Until as he was making his way out, he seemed to stumble a little. He reached out and grabbed onto the doorway to regain his balance. AJ, Jen, Sturgis, Bobbi, Bud, and Harriet all watched as he stood upright and started back out.

The world seemed to be spinning around him. There were blurry spots in front of his eyes and he could hardly seem to move without his body hurting. His chest area hurt the most, pains were shooting through his body, originating from his upper left chest. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

He stumbled again, mumbling something. This time there was nothing for him to reach out to. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

Harriet screamed as he collapsed, falling to the ground and not moving. He didn't get up. The JAG crew rushed to his side, checking for a pulse. He didn't move, he was barely breathing.

Someone yelled to call for an ambulance. AJ and Turner tried CPR but he just wasn't responding.

"Damnit, son, breathe," AJ yelled. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

The paramedics soon arrived and just as they were about to prepare him to put on a stretcher, he was heard murmuring one last word.

Sarah.