Fear. Simple, right? Or maybe it's just to compelex. You can
never tell once you think about it I mean, What is fear, really? A great
philosopher once announced that fear was nothing more the anticipation of
pain be it physical, mental, spirital or emotional. But in that sense, if
you fear pain you are just fearing fear. The question is what makes someone
fear something? I mean a person can fear one thing, and not fear something
that's so similar to the fear its impossible and yet you aren't so afraid
of that.
What am I? Simple. I am afraid. What is it I fear? I don't exactly know. The first rule of Buddhism is that all life is suffering. These questions have bugged me far past the point of what people on this plane of life would call suffering... Maybe even tormented.
Its almost funny how people can fear the most harmless of things, because they don't understand them properly if at all. I think that's my problem... I fear emotions, love, hate, trust... I fear relationships and friendships. None of these things are the human beings ever going to come even an iota closer to figuring out.
All of these fears, insecurity's have singled me out as a loner and made me stand out. Drawing people to me. People I could actually like... some even love. People determined to make the moody loner their friend just to prove that they could indeed do it. No one could, none succeeded... well... none except for Robbie. Why Robbie? I don't know he was the only one who seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say and could get engrossed in an honest conversation. Robbie, eventually lead to Lily and Ray with whom I hold very little complaints. Despite my constant pang of fear, I found myself yearning to know these people, wanting to show them me...
Who am I? Yet another simple thing I can not answer. Yes, I do know That my name is Travis Anthony Strong and that I attend Roscoe High but, who am I? You are viewed by different people who take you into there own estimate but everyone has there own estimate and sees you differently. Does that make you any of those things? People judge you from passed experiences and things they are familiar with, things you may have never dreamed of... so what does that make me? I cant be what one person thinks I am with out risking someone else's view. And yet I cant tell at all.
Insecurity. It reminds me a lot of fear. Where fear is pain, insecurity is just paranoia, yet another version of fear, so does that make it a more evolved level of pain. If so why do we appoint them as two different things? But, like the first version is it so simple its complex or so complex its simple? Insecurities and just uncertainties and yet again they are regarded to as to very different articles. All insecurity means is to feel unsafe and Uncertainty is to doubt. You could doubt you security making you uncertainty into insecurity but it cant be reversed.
How can we tell the difference between such thought provoking things. This thought this war of Uncertainty, of Insecurity, of doubt in ones self, of Fear came from the thought of one simple word fear.
Its strange how the thoughts of one human can influence the thoughts of several. Does this mean that we are fully incapable of thinking for ourselves? This whole being influenced seems to be just as normal as breathing but as complicated as how the body automatically knows how to.
The point I believe I am trying to make is that everything is simple, complicated, Uncertain, Independent, insecure and Co-dependent depending on the eye of the beholder. No one eye is the same.
Fear. Simple, right? Or maybe it's just to compelex. You can never tell once you think about it I mean, What is fear, really?
What am I? Simple. I am afraid. What is it I fear? I don't exactly know. The first rule of Buddhism is that all life is suffering. These questions have bugged me far past the point of what people on this plane of life would call suffering... Maybe even tormented.
Its almost funny how people can fear the most harmless of things, because they don't understand them properly if at all. I think that's my problem... I fear emotions, love, hate, trust... I fear relationships and friendships. None of these things are the human beings ever going to come even an iota closer to figuring out.
All of these fears, insecurity's have singled me out as a loner and made me stand out. Drawing people to me. People I could actually like... some even love. People determined to make the moody loner their friend just to prove that they could indeed do it. No one could, none succeeded... well... none except for Robbie. Why Robbie? I don't know he was the only one who seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say and could get engrossed in an honest conversation. Robbie, eventually lead to Lily and Ray with whom I hold very little complaints. Despite my constant pang of fear, I found myself yearning to know these people, wanting to show them me...
Who am I? Yet another simple thing I can not answer. Yes, I do know That my name is Travis Anthony Strong and that I attend Roscoe High but, who am I? You are viewed by different people who take you into there own estimate but everyone has there own estimate and sees you differently. Does that make you any of those things? People judge you from passed experiences and things they are familiar with, things you may have never dreamed of... so what does that make me? I cant be what one person thinks I am with out risking someone else's view. And yet I cant tell at all.
Insecurity. It reminds me a lot of fear. Where fear is pain, insecurity is just paranoia, yet another version of fear, so does that make it a more evolved level of pain. If so why do we appoint them as two different things? But, like the first version is it so simple its complex or so complex its simple? Insecurities and just uncertainties and yet again they are regarded to as to very different articles. All insecurity means is to feel unsafe and Uncertainty is to doubt. You could doubt you security making you uncertainty into insecurity but it cant be reversed.
How can we tell the difference between such thought provoking things. This thought this war of Uncertainty, of Insecurity, of doubt in ones self, of Fear came from the thought of one simple word fear.
Its strange how the thoughts of one human can influence the thoughts of several. Does this mean that we are fully incapable of thinking for ourselves? This whole being influenced seems to be just as normal as breathing but as complicated as how the body automatically knows how to.
The point I believe I am trying to make is that everything is simple, complicated, Uncertain, Independent, insecure and Co-dependent depending on the eye of the beholder. No one eye is the same.
Fear. Simple, right? Or maybe it's just to compelex. You can never tell once you think about it I mean, What is fear, really?