Pacifist Tears
You know, people always see me as such a happy person. Just an innocent little boy caught up in fighting for the colonies. I'm the leader of the gundam pilots. I have the power to feel what other people are feeling…empathy.. Even despite my appearance…I was so strong.
Was I?
Was I really?
I can't help it… I feel so stupid… So useless...worthless.
Was it really such a short time ago that I was the son of a rich pacifist leader…? My life was ideal…I suppose. I knew my mother was dead. I grew up with that fact…but my father cared for me. He was proud of me. Proud… Proud of his only son. And, the Manguanacs were always there for me. They protected me and loved me as one of their own…
Still, even then it was easy to be lonely. It's true. It is lonely at the top…
Father didn't like it when I started fighting… I didn't expect him to like it…to understand.
This was important to me… I needed to truly prove myself to my father and show him that I am strong…to validate my own worth. Prove to the Doctor that I can accomplish all that he expects from me.. I could gain peace for the colonies…be a part of something great.
I was so damn idealistic…
So…stupid.
I didn't expect them to betray us… They just turned around and condemned the very people who were fighting for them. All of the other pilots…I don't know where they are. Hiding, I suppose..
And I called myself their leader.
I can't even contact Trowa… And I want to love him… Che.. How could he ever care for someone who can't even do anything right..? I can tell he's been hurt in his past. He doesn't need my emotional baggage…and I won't burden him.
Allah…
Everything. Everything I've suffered for…worked for on Earth… Worthless! All of it!
My father is dead.
I have nothing..
Not this life.
Not my old one…
I'm drowning…and I can never go back…
"Master Quatre?"
He wiped his eyes of quickly, and turned to face the bathroom door, "Yes?"
"You're needed in the upcoming battle, sir. Is there something wrong?"
Yes…something is wrong… I don't even know who I'm fighting for anymore…
"No. I'll be right out… Prepare Sandrock."
Owari