Title: Alone and Silent
Author note I have the bad habit of never finishing a fic once I start it! SO I have now written an entire fic, but I'm only going to post it, a chapter at a time. Following the example of another author.who wrote shatterglass.I'm going to post the second chapter after I get FIVE reviews. Hope you enjoy.
Warning yaoi, angst..suicide attempts.death. If I did this right, very depressing thoughts. Duo as he goes through major depression. The god of death feels worthless. 1x2.
Chapter 1: Silence, my best friend.
What is my problem? Why can't I get over it! Who gave you permission to invade my brain and take my soul from me! I hate you all!!! Why do I have to hat you though? Am I just that fucked up? Deathscythe Hell was my only friend, he understood me, he never questioned me, he just did what I said. Now that he's gone, I have no one, nothing that makes me feel worthy of life. I am the god of death, shinigami. Now, the real god of death is asking me to answer to my name. I've killed thousands, now, all that's left is for me to kill myself, to end my own suffering. Goodbye.
Duo sat on the bed that he and Heero shared. Grinning as he slid the blade across his wrist, watching as the blood, his blood stained the white sheets.
You know.. i probably wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for you Heero.if you hadn't made me fall in love with you.then left. I hate you. Now my blood will haunt your memories. This is my gift to you Heero, sleep well.
He suddenly looked up, as he heard a door slam somewhere in the house.
NO! he cant be home now! I'm not done! LEAVE!
Just then Heero stepped into the room, his eyes widened in shock as he saw his lovers eyes widen and then close. He watched Duo fall onto his back, long hair flowing around his slender body.
"NO!" he screamed. Running over to the bed. "Duo, why!" Heero grasped his lover in his arms and ran downstairs. Placing Duo in a chair, she ran to the phone and dialed 911,
"Hello, yes.a man here has just tried to kill himself. Yes.we live at." Heero gave the paramedics his address and then ran back to tend to his love.
"Heero." duo opened his eyes and moaned "don't .let me die.I want to die."
Its black here.everything is quite, I don't feel any pain anymore. Is this death, or just a dream? I.I don't know where I am. I'm falling.when did I start falling.what the fuck is going on. I don't want to be trapped in here forever, wondering if this is death or not. Someone TELL me. Am I dead? Or just dreaming? Heero.why did you have to show up.I didn't want to hurt you that way.I didn't want to see you suffer.to hear you cry out as I died in your arms. All I wanted was for it to end. All my hurt, all my pain. Now I'm falling in this void for eternity.unless you save me. God I hope you don't.I don't want to have to face you now. What.why am I rising..I was falling. What is happening? Who is there! Let me out! I don't want to be here anymore! HELP ME!!
Duo's eyes shot opened.and he immediately closed them, the white light he was staring into blinding him. He groaned and tried to sit up, only to be pushed back down forcefully, by a familiar hand.
"Heero.?" He groaned out.then opened his eyes again to meet the piercing gaze of his lovers Persian blue eyes.
" Why.Duo.why." He said as he looked deep into Duo, as if piercing his soul.
No, don't ask me that! Not now! Please, don't make me answer that! I cant tell you why.I wont ever tell you why. I HATE YOU
Duo turned away from him and smiled slightly. "You wont ever know. FUCK YOU Heero Yuy. FUCK YOU." With that duo shut his eyes tightly and began to cry.
No, I cant show my weaknesses like this..why am I breaking down! Why did he have to save me..if he hadn't showed up I would be fine right now. But.NO! I will not show my emotions. I will not. He needs to leave now.
"Go." Duo mumbled.
"what?"
"GO! I said! Leave me alone! I don't want you here. Go away." Duo half screamed half cried out. Heero stood for a minute, as if shocked by Duos words, but then.he moved toward the door, looking back once he said softly, to the now sleeping Duo.
" I love you, Duo" He stepped out and shut the door behind him.
You love me? No, you aren't capable of love. Goodbye Heero Yuy.I loved you.
Author note I have the bad habit of never finishing a fic once I start it! SO I have now written an entire fic, but I'm only going to post it, a chapter at a time. Following the example of another author.who wrote shatterglass.I'm going to post the second chapter after I get FIVE reviews. Hope you enjoy.
Warning yaoi, angst..suicide attempts.death. If I did this right, very depressing thoughts. Duo as he goes through major depression. The god of death feels worthless. 1x2.
Chapter 1: Silence, my best friend.
What is my problem? Why can't I get over it! Who gave you permission to invade my brain and take my soul from me! I hate you all!!! Why do I have to hat you though? Am I just that fucked up? Deathscythe Hell was my only friend, he understood me, he never questioned me, he just did what I said. Now that he's gone, I have no one, nothing that makes me feel worthy of life. I am the god of death, shinigami. Now, the real god of death is asking me to answer to my name. I've killed thousands, now, all that's left is for me to kill myself, to end my own suffering. Goodbye.
Duo sat on the bed that he and Heero shared. Grinning as he slid the blade across his wrist, watching as the blood, his blood stained the white sheets.
You know.. i probably wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for you Heero.if you hadn't made me fall in love with you.then left. I hate you. Now my blood will haunt your memories. This is my gift to you Heero, sleep well.
He suddenly looked up, as he heard a door slam somewhere in the house.
NO! he cant be home now! I'm not done! LEAVE!
Just then Heero stepped into the room, his eyes widened in shock as he saw his lovers eyes widen and then close. He watched Duo fall onto his back, long hair flowing around his slender body.
"NO!" he screamed. Running over to the bed. "Duo, why!" Heero grasped his lover in his arms and ran downstairs. Placing Duo in a chair, she ran to the phone and dialed 911,
"Hello, yes.a man here has just tried to kill himself. Yes.we live at." Heero gave the paramedics his address and then ran back to tend to his love.
"Heero." duo opened his eyes and moaned "don't .let me die.I want to die."
Its black here.everything is quite, I don't feel any pain anymore. Is this death, or just a dream? I.I don't know where I am. I'm falling.when did I start falling.what the fuck is going on. I don't want to be trapped in here forever, wondering if this is death or not. Someone TELL me. Am I dead? Or just dreaming? Heero.why did you have to show up.I didn't want to hurt you that way.I didn't want to see you suffer.to hear you cry out as I died in your arms. All I wanted was for it to end. All my hurt, all my pain. Now I'm falling in this void for eternity.unless you save me. God I hope you don't.I don't want to have to face you now. What.why am I rising..I was falling. What is happening? Who is there! Let me out! I don't want to be here anymore! HELP ME!!
Duo's eyes shot opened.and he immediately closed them, the white light he was staring into blinding him. He groaned and tried to sit up, only to be pushed back down forcefully, by a familiar hand.
"Heero.?" He groaned out.then opened his eyes again to meet the piercing gaze of his lovers Persian blue eyes.
" Why.Duo.why." He said as he looked deep into Duo, as if piercing his soul.
No, don't ask me that! Not now! Please, don't make me answer that! I cant tell you why.I wont ever tell you why. I HATE YOU
Duo turned away from him and smiled slightly. "You wont ever know. FUCK YOU Heero Yuy. FUCK YOU." With that duo shut his eyes tightly and began to cry.
No, I cant show my weaknesses like this..why am I breaking down! Why did he have to save me..if he hadn't showed up I would be fine right now. But.NO! I will not show my emotions. I will not. He needs to leave now.
"Go." Duo mumbled.
"what?"
"GO! I said! Leave me alone! I don't want you here. Go away." Duo half screamed half cried out. Heero stood for a minute, as if shocked by Duos words, but then.he moved toward the door, looking back once he said softly, to the now sleeping Duo.
" I love you, Duo" He stepped out and shut the door behind him.
You love me? No, you aren't capable of love. Goodbye Heero Yuy.I loved you.