Please be gentle! This is one of my first attempt at a Luka fan fic.
Title: Home
Author: er_girl_2002@yahoo.com
Rating: Pg
Spoilers: up to "the lost." NOTICE: possible character death
Disclaimer: Their not mine, I just borrowed them All the stuff in this font( June 30th 2003 is journal entry ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
June 30th 2003 815 Home, carter said they were sending me home; home I don't have a home anymore. "To America" America has never been home, will never be home. Croatia was home. My family, home, wife, kids, happiness. My home is gone. It would never be the same. She's gone. I spend my time trying to find my home now.
America, I thought once it would be home. America, All I heard. I thought I would be happy. Here, working. Abby. I thought she would bring me happiness. Her and me in my little apartment. My hunter green bedroom, with my soft grey cotton sheets. The great view. My fish. For a while I convinced myself happiness was a play station 2 with lots of games. I convinced myself happiness was in my possessions. Then I went to Congo; coming back from Congo made me realize that I want what I once had. I want my wife, my kids, my life. Here in Chicago, my life is on autopilot. I just go through the motions pretending to live my life. Friends. Carter clams that's what we are. I don't believe it. friends are useless. Friends just hurt you. I have no friends. Im alone in this world. So alone, so sad.
Congo was just an attempt to find a real home. An attempt to feel again. I don't feel much anymore. I just want it all to go away. I wish Carter had never come. He saved me. I pretended to be happy. I wish he would let me die. I wish he had let me go, go back to them. I miss them so much. I wish could have it all back. I keep remembering that old Kate bush song I once heard "Of all the things I should've said, that I never said. All the things we should've done, that we never did. All the things I should've given, but I didn't. I miss them so much.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- "Luka." "What carol?" "MVA ETA 2 minutes. We need you/" "Be right there." He shut the notebook. He smiled at a small bottle of pills on the shelf in his locker as he placed the notebook inside and rushed off.
June 30, 2003 1912 It's been one hell of a day. I'm off and heading home to the place I live. The place they call my home. I finally have all my supplies so tonight is the night. Abby walked into the apartment.
"Luka? You here?" No one answers her. Her eyebrows furrow with worry. he notices a lumpy form on the couch. A half eaten pizza sits on the table. Nearby a beer bottle is perched precociously on the table's edge. The TV blared in the background. She walked over flipping it off. Then she saw it. A bottle of vicidon on the floor. She picked it up realizing it was half empty.
"Oh god," she leans over shaking him hard. She noticed a torn piece of paper on the floor near where she had just picked up the bottle. She unfolded it and begin to read. ----------------------- abby, I'm sorry. I need to go home. Please let me go home. ------------------------- A tear rolled down her cheek," Damn you luka."
Spoilers: up to "the lost." NOTICE: possible character death
Disclaimer: Their not mine, I just borrowed them All the stuff in this font( June 30th 2003 is journal entry ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
June 30th 2003 815 Home, carter said they were sending me home; home I don't have a home anymore. "To America" America has never been home, will never be home. Croatia was home. My family, home, wife, kids, happiness. My home is gone. It would never be the same. She's gone. I spend my time trying to find my home now.
America, I thought once it would be home. America, All I heard. I thought I would be happy. Here, working. Abby. I thought she would bring me happiness. Her and me in my little apartment. My hunter green bedroom, with my soft grey cotton sheets. The great view. My fish. For a while I convinced myself happiness was a play station 2 with lots of games. I convinced myself happiness was in my possessions. Then I went to Congo; coming back from Congo made me realize that I want what I once had. I want my wife, my kids, my life. Here in Chicago, my life is on autopilot. I just go through the motions pretending to live my life. Friends. Carter clams that's what we are. I don't believe it. friends are useless. Friends just hurt you. I have no friends. Im alone in this world. So alone, so sad.
Congo was just an attempt to find a real home. An attempt to feel again. I don't feel much anymore. I just want it all to go away. I wish Carter had never come. He saved me. I pretended to be happy. I wish he would let me die. I wish he had let me go, go back to them. I miss them so much. I wish could have it all back. I keep remembering that old Kate bush song I once heard "Of all the things I should've said, that I never said. All the things we should've done, that we never did. All the things I should've given, but I didn't. I miss them so much.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- "Luka." "What carol?" "MVA ETA 2 minutes. We need you/" "Be right there." He shut the notebook. He smiled at a small bottle of pills on the shelf in his locker as he placed the notebook inside and rushed off.
June 30, 2003 1912 It's been one hell of a day. I'm off and heading home to the place I live. The place they call my home. I finally have all my supplies so tonight is the night. Abby walked into the apartment.
"Luka? You here?" No one answers her. Her eyebrows furrow with worry. he notices a lumpy form on the couch. A half eaten pizza sits on the table. Nearby a beer bottle is perched precociously on the table's edge. The TV blared in the background. She walked over flipping it off. Then she saw it. A bottle of vicidon on the floor. She picked it up realizing it was half empty.
"Oh god," she leans over shaking him hard. She noticed a torn piece of paper on the floor near where she had just picked up the bottle. She unfolded it and begin to read. ----------------------- abby, I'm sorry. I need to go home. Please let me go home. ------------------------- A tear rolled down her cheek," Damn you luka."