A/N: All right, so I promised that I'd give 2 reviewers a fic of their choosing for Christmas! Here is our first! (The other will be done after Christmas, sorry for the wait). Request by Demoness Drakon was for "Christmas-themed Nordics"... And yes, this is really cracky and ridiculous. Hope you enjoy!
The Quest for the Missing Reindeer
"You lost... the reindeer..."
Denmark winced at how absolutely incredibly calm Norway sounded right now. He wasn't frowning or yelling or anything. Just standing there, staring at Denmark with eyes that were overly tranquil. Especially considering what the other nation had just told him...
"Not really lost. Just—they sort of ran off."
"You lost nine reindeer."
Yeah, that had held a little less calmness and had more of a 'You are the biggest idiot on this entire planet' feel.
Denmark really wished that he hadn't gone drinking with Prussia last night. It really hadn't been one of his better ideas. And if he hadn't gone out drinking with them, then none of this would have ever happened.
...He was pretty sure that he hadn't come up with the idea. It seemed more like something that Prussia would suggest. Plus, he could remember someone talking to him, leaning over and splashing beer onto the sleeve of his coat.
"Hey, so that Finland-neighbour guy of yours... He's got that...that flying thing that he does every year... With the horse things...with the horns. Horn horse things. Horny horse things..."
He'd broken into a fit of giggles at that, taking a few minutes to calm down. And then he'd continued, as Denmark drained another mug of beer and immediately received a replacement. Good service at this bar, better than the last one they'd been kicked out of.
"Yeah, so the horny horse things." Another guffaw, but he managed to keep himself under control better this time. "We should totally go ride them! It'll be totally awesome!"
And, Denmark had agreed for some reason. He couldn't really remember why... They'd ended up making their way to Finland's home and into the barn where he kept the reindeer—just for the week before Christmas; they spent the rest of the year in a zoo somewhere else. Taking allof them with them, out to a field...
And they must have passed out soon after that, because Denmark really couldn't remember anything else about the night. He only knew that he'd woken up sniffling, covered in dew, in the middle of a field, completely alone. Without a reindeer or Prussia in sight.
So he'd come here, to Norway. Hoping that he would have an idea of what to do.
"You're an idiot."
"I know. I know." Denmark was willing to agree with anything he said right. "I need help finding them, Norge! It's Christmas Eve and if we don't find them..." If they didn't find them, then Finland wouldn't be able to be Santa Claus. And then Christmas would be ruined...
All the children of the world would be so disappointed.
Everyone would be furious.
...And the other nations would destroyhim.
...That Prussian bastard. He didn't even have the balls to stand by his side and help him out!
He probably would have done the same thing if he were in Prussia's shoes, but still.
"Please, Norge! For the children!" Norway was now his only hope. If he didn't help, then Denmark would have to find somewhere to hide for the next few millennia... Probably somewhere on the moon would be his best bet.
The other nation wasn't immediately responding. Just standing there and frowning, looking as if he were trying to decide what he should do. Denmark squeezed his hands together, preparing himself for grovelling if necessary.
"You could have just told Finland—"
"Are you kidding?" Denmark felt a twinge of panic run through his mind just at the thought. "You know how good he is with that rifle!"
Yes, kiddies. Santa Claus is probably the greatest sniper in the world. Just think about that while you're sleeping in your beds tonight with little sugarplums dancing in your dreams.
Norway nodded slightly at the remark... And then, finally, he sighed. Looking as if he were regretting this with every bone in his body. "Fine. But just because I'm not going to let youruin Christmas for the rest of the planet. And you're an idiot."
"Thank you so much, Norge!" And now Denmark reached out and grabbed the other nation's wrist, dragging him in some random direction that would hopefully lead to the missing reindeer. "Let's go!"
~.~.~
Yeah, that hadn't been the right direction.
Neither had the opposite direction.
Or any of the other directions that they had tried.
They'd gone almost everywhere that he could think of. Wandering through the forest, running into trees, getting attacked by thorn bushes. Denmark had managed to infuriate a squirrel and was now nursing some pretty intense wounds.
He was currently also mentally preparing his will. I,thenationofDenmark,beingofsoundmindandmemory,herebydeclare... He wasn't getting very far with it, unfortunately. All he'd really decided upon was that not a penny of his assets would ever go toward squirrel relief. Ever.
Norway was silently fuming, looking about thisclose to summoning a troll to stomp him into something resembling a pancake. Denmark could only pick out certain words, all muttered furiously in Norwegian. "Idiot...lose...ninereindeer..."
"Um..." He tried not to wince at the absolutely infuriated glare that turned toward him. "Maybe we should go get Island to help us look?" Since they only had a few more hours until Finland would definitely notice that his reindeer were missing—if he hadn't already found out.
"Yes." And that was the only response he received. He winced, but hurriedly followed as Norway began to stomp off in the direction of Iceland's house.
It was a very uncomfortable walk. Probably up there in the top five most uncomfortable walks of Denmark's very long life...
And it really didn't help anything when they came into sight of Iceland's house. Actually, it probably upped it to the second most uncomfortable walk of Denmark's life.
As they walked into sight of the house, to see Iceland standing in his yard. Surrounded by nine reindeer...
He was petting the neck of the nearest one, face rather expressionless. As if not at all surprised to have nine random reindeer standing in his yard. He glanced up when the other two nations stepped into sight and nodded once in greeting. "Hello."
Denmark could feel the waves of irritation radiating from Norway's body. He hurriedly took a step away. "You have Finland's reindeer."
"Yes. They showed up this morning." He continued to stroke the reindeer's neck, a faint smile twitching across his lips when it turned and playfully butt its head against his hand.
Well, on the plus side of things, they'd found Finland's reindeer. Which meant that Christmas wasn't ruined.
On the negative side of things, Denmark was pretty sure that Norway was about to kill him for forcing him to spend most of his Christmas Eve searching for a bunch of reindeer that had been with Iceland the whole time. Which really wouldn't be fair, since how was hesupposed to know that they'd end up here?
"There you are..."
And all of the worry that Denmark had been feeling in regards to Norway—getting attacked by a troll would not be the most pleasant way to spend Christmas Eve—evaporated just like that. Because that happy, joyful voice was going to be invading his nightmares for the next few weeks.
He turned now, to see two figures standing a few feet away. Sweden was standing back, expressionlessly watching as the reindeer all turned and pranced toward the smaller figure dressed in a bright red suit, crowding him excitedly like a crowd of children.
Maybe he could use this moment to slip away...
"Ah, Denmark." And Finland's still happy voice caused him to freeze, as it shot out like a sniper bullet and pierced his heart with terror. "You and Prussia really should ask permission if you want to see my reindeer, okay? But I have to go now, so we'll have to talk about this later, all right?"
"Y—yes," Denmark managed to croak out.
Which seemed acceptable to Finland, who turned at this and began to walk away with Sweden, chattering with the other male about what they needed to finish up for the ride tonight... While Sweden nodded and grunted in response.
And Denmark wondered if there were any lawyer's offices still open on Christmas Eve, because he definitely definitely needed to get that will updated.
A/N: This feels kind of rushed, but I want to get it up on Christmas Eve so... It's so odd xD I have no idea where the idea for this even came from. Lol.
Is it bad that I had to look up how many reindeer there were? I was like "...I feel like I should be able to remember this, but I can't." xD And there are technically only 8 reindeer. Unless you count Rudolph. Which I did. Because I could. Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph!
Anyway, Merry Christmas everyone! (To those who celebrate Christmas at least) Hope Finland brings you lots of nice gifts and such things :)