It had been a long two years. In Connor's bag was his old uniform, a contact book with all the missionaries' addresses and phone numbers, some and keepsakes from villagers, and a copy of Naba's original pageant script. He'd grown a lot himself; the work in Africa had filled his frame with lean muscle and his jaw had sharpened with time. He'd started shaving.
More than the physical growth, he'd done plenty of introspection. It took him awhile to shake off the burden of the Church, but he was happier for it in the end. Connor had given up the fight to be straight and, eventually, the nightmares began to go away. They still made an unwelcome visit, but those were few and far between.
Connor had made a list for himself on the plane of things to do once he was back home, in no particular order. The first was to find a job and a new place to stay. He'd managed to get a host job at a nearby restaurant. The pay wasn't fantastic, and it would take a few weeks for him to be able to afford an apartment, but it made Connor feel normal. The second step, the cause for the first, was to come out to his family. They had always been loving towards him, but Connor refused to take the risk of being out on the streets with no roof over his head.
The third task was to reconcile with Steve. Even though the falling out before his departure lost its sting over time, it still left a bad taste in Connor's mouth whenever he remembered it. Not to mention his newfound self-acceptance renewed old feelings for him. Connor tried not to get ahead of himself.
Connor fiddled with the straps of his bag as he knocked on Steve's door. The grass was greener, and the exterior had been repainted. A moment of panic came when he realized Steve might not even live there anymore. It dissipated quickly when Steve opened his door.
He didn't look any different from what Connor could remember. Steve still had a trace of stubble, a firm build, and a sculptural face. He'd cut his blond hair a little closer to his head, leaving a few stray tresses loose. Steve blinked at him a moment, then let him inside with a wave of his hand.
Steve gestured to the couch, which was less beaten than Connor remembered. Connor sat down and folded his hands in his lap. The house had been considerably cleaned up. All the walls were repainted, the furniture fixed up or replaced, and the carpeting clean. There was still a full ashtray on a side table.
"Do you-do you want anything? Water?" Steve asked.
"No, no, I'm fine," Connor said. "Thank you, though."
Steve sat in a stuffed chair across from him. Connor felt the weight of their silence grow on his shoulders, and he worked up the nerve to speak after a tense minute.
"I came to apologize," Connor explained. "I'm sorry about what happened, those two years ago. I shouldn't've said the things I said, even if I didn't mean them."
"I figured that's what this was about." Chuckling, Steve shook his head. "I don't know what I was thinking myself. You're a Mormon, after all."
"Was."
Steve raised an eyebrow. "Was?"
Connor shrugged and rubbed his wrist. "I can't do that to myself anymore."
"Do what?"
"You know, closet and hate myself."
"Well, that's good to hear." Steve smiled. Connor felt his heart swell. "If I'd known you were going through something like that, I would've backed off."
"You'd just lost your parents," Connor said.
Steve shrugged and looked away. "I've moved on. It's not worth stewing over anymore. Of course I miss mom, but I have living to do."
Connor grinned. "I'm glad we've both managed to move on."
"Cheers to that." Steve beamed back.
They laughed easily together. Steve hesitated before standing up and sitting down on the couch to face Connor.
"So, how was that mission of yours?" Steve asked.
"Oh, it was…" Connor trailed off. "Interesting. I went to Uganda."
Steve paled. "Jesus."
"It wasn't so bad, after we adjusted," Connor said. "I mean, the poverty and disease was terrible, but we got really close to the villagers. I'll never forget any of them." He chuckled. "One of our missionaries is getting married to one of them, actually?"
"No shit?" Steve exclaimed.
"Nope, they're settling down together as we speak, right hand to God."
"Damn." Steve leaned back against the cushions. Connor scanned his frame, noting the muscles were still there under his shirt and that the bulge in his jeans was the same. Blushing, Connor looked back at Steve's face. Old habits die hard.
"Yeah, Uganda was quite the adventure. Anyways, what've you been up to?"
Steve scratched his ear. "Got a job at a garage… I went back to school. I mean, not university or anything, but the community college up the road. I want to get the fuck out of this town in the next few years."
Connor nodded. "I don't blame you."
"We should get out of here together," Steve snickered. "Move to New York, take the city by storm."
Rolling his eyes, Connor couldn't help but snort. "Sure, only eight-million people in our way."
"There's the sense of humor I missed," Steve said, smirking. "Even if we didn't leave off on great terms, I really did miss you, Con. It's nice to see you out of that stiff old uniform."
"It's nice to be out of it," Connor agreed. "I missed you too. I felt terrible about last time. I didn't mean what I said, I-"
Steve waved his hand. "You were scared, I get it. I wish I could've heard you say that a year or two ago, though."
"I hope this hasn't been bothering you," Connor said.
"It's not that," Steve sighed. "I don't know, I've never thought about anyone as much as I've thought about you."
Connor's face flushed again. Steve smirked and haltingly reached forward to brush his fingers against Connor's cheek. "You're cute when you blush."
Steve jerked his hand away when Connor moved his arm. Connor meant to take Steve's hand, and looked at him in confusion.
"I forgot, sorry," Steve grumbled.
Connor gently folded Steve's hand in his own. "Actually, I came back for a second chance."
Steve took Connor's chin in his other hand. "You promise not to freak out this time?"
"I promise."
"Right, then let's pick up where we left off," Steve said softly. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against Connor's with a gentle firmness that Connor melted into. Connor parted his lips to deepen their kisses and wrapped his arms around Steve's shoulders to pull him closer. He pecked Steve's jaw, his neck, across his cheeks, and the corner of his mouth. Steve, satisfied with Connor's new enthusiasm, laid him down on the couch seats and knelt over him between his legs.
With no deadline or urgency, they took their time. Connor leaned up to nip Steve's ear and nicked a tooth against a round, steel piercing. He ignored Steve's snicker and tangled his fingers in his thick hair, tugging and smoothing. Connor played with the bottom of Steve's shirt until Steve sat up to remove it. Steve went back to ravishing Connor's neck, while Connor ran his hands over Steve's warm back and chest. It was as taut as he remembered.
Steve unbuttoned Connor's shirt slowly, kissing down his chest and stomach as he went. Connor squirmed impatiently and made Steve laugh.
"Don't rush, we've got all day," Steve hushed. He held Connor by his hips and pressed wet, open-mouthed kisses along the top of Connor's trousers. Connor bucked up when Steve brushed his fingers over his groin.
"At least you didn't come that time," Steve chuckled. Connor sharply pulled on a lock of his hair. "Christ, just let me get your belt off."
Though his hands wandered, Steve managed to slip Connor's belt off before he lost any hair. Connor yanked him back into a bruising kiss that made Steve groan and Connor whimper. Steve ran his tongue along Connor's bottom lip soothingly. There was only a hint of beer this time around.
"This is nothing like what I had in mind in fifth grade," Connor panted.
"I wouldn't think so." Steve lifted Connor's hips off the couch to remove his trousers. He kissed Connor's legs, his knees, and his stomach. He nuzzled into Connor's arousal as he lapped into his inner thighs, making Connor squirm and twitch his hips.
Connor had begun fumbling with Steve's belt when he was stopped by a hand on his fingers. "Hang on, I don't want to do this on the couch."
"You didn't care last time," Connor whined. Steve chuckled and kissed him lightly, almost chastely.
"This isn't the same as 'last time,' dumbass," Steve tittered. "Now get up and let me carry you."
Connor didn't have opportunity to protest as Steve pulled his legs around him and stood. Connor clung to Steve's shoulders and tightened his legs around his waist, all the while nibbling eagerly on the arch of his neck and rubbing his hands over his chest.
They stopped briefly in the hallway, Connor pressed against the wall by Steve's calloused hands and wide mouth. Their tongues slid together hotly while Connor finally removed Steve's belt and jeans. Steve picked him back up when his fingers wandered below his waistband.
Steve had recently upgraded to a double bed, with new sheets and a simple comforter. Although he was distracted by how Connor was straddling him as they laid down, Steve praised himself for swinging for that extra pillow.
Steve noticed the absence of his boxers when his mind came back to the present. "Jesus, what did you learn in Uganda?"
Connor wrapped his fingers in Steve's hair and pulled him into a deep, lingering kiss. "Imagination can do wonders," he panted after pulling away.
The thought of Connor fantasizing about him made him groan, and Steve pulled urgently on Connor's underwear, making Connor laugh and remove them himself. When he settled back over Steve, suddenly gentle hands rested on his sides, and the kisses ebbed between tender to lustful and back again.
"Reach over in the nightstand and grab a condom and some lube, will you?" Steve said, breathing warm air against Connor's cheek. Connor opened the drawer and searched impatiently for a few moments before finding both items. He tossed them on the side of the bed and threw himself back at Steve.
Steve rolled to lay on top of him. He tucked his arms underneath Connor's shoulders and propped himself up on his elbows, then lifted Connor's legs up around his hips. He sucked at the corner of Connor's jaw while Connor felt over his back, his abs, his ass, and his shoulders.
"Fuck, Con, I just want to make you feel good," Steve groaned against Connor's neck. Connor's breath shuddered and his eyes shut. Steve opened the lube bottle and dabbed a bit on his fingers. "Try to relax, okay? This part won't be all that great."
Connor cupped his hands around Steve's neck. "I trust you."
Steve stilled a moment. He pressed his lips against Connor's and slid two of his fingers into him. Connor was tight as a vise, which wasn't a shock to Steve, but he knew better than to be forceful. Steve continued to kiss Connor and gently move his digits until Connor was relaxed enough to actually be fingered. Steve brushed against a tough patch of skin, eliciting a sharp whimper from Connor. Steve smirked and removed his fingers, then reached for the items next to them.
"Are you okay?" Steve asked as he rolled on the condom and lubed himself up. Connor, face flushed, nodded. Steve kissed up Connor's neck to his mouth and slowly slid into him, pausing every few seconds to make sure Connor was alright. With every affirmation that he was, Steve's thrusts increased in speed.
"God, Connor, you feel incredible," Steve moaned. Connor had stopped clenching his teeth, and full groans and gasps ripped from his throat at every precise thrust. Steve heard Connor hiss "harder," and had no qualms with obliging. Connor cried out at the first rougher buck and clung tight to Steve's neck, whining his name.
Steve began stroking Connor's arousal, if a tad faster than his pace. He could tell by the noises he was making that Connor was close, and hell if Steve was going to come first. Steve bit the shell of Connor's ear and used his free arm to hold him when his legs started to quiver. The pleasure pooling at the base of Steve's spine overflowed, and Steve came with a grunt of Connor's name. Connor's nails dug into Steve's shoulders at his own release.
Steve laid Connor down gently and shifted off of him to catch his breath. He laid on his side to watch Connor fondly, and reached over to smooth his hair out of his eyes. Connor blinked at him, as if seeing him lying there for the first time, and smiled.
"Your eyes are as pretty as they were when we were kids," Steve murmured.
Connor blushed. He played with a piercing on Steve's ear, then had his hand taken and cradled tightly.
Steve bit his lip. "Can-can I hold you?"
Connor beamed at him and curled up to his chest. Steve wrapped his arms around Connor and kissed his temple.
"I was going to ask you," Connor rested his head in the crook of Steve's neck, "Where do you plan to go when you move?"
"Wherever you want."