A/N: Because it was so tempting to write something after seeing the promo for next weeks episode. And a thank you to Apryl (aprylynn) for the proof read.
Disclaimer: Don't own it.
Eating dinner with Kensi is something that has become a very routine thing lately and they were always something he looked forward to. Neither of them asked if they wanted to have dinner, it was just sort of a natural thing.
The dinners were slowly evolving from one of them showing up at the others doorstep with Chinese takeout and a movie, to their favorite burger joint down the road from work, and now here at this fancy restaurant. This dinner was different though. Different as in they were going to talk, finally talk.
Kensi was sitting across from him with her head down and reading the menu. Her hair was down and her curls fell loosely over her shoulders. She was in her usual button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows with jeans and boots. He thought it would be nice to change out of the plain white tee shirt he wore all day into something nicer. So before arriving here he quickly changed into the dark blue collared shirt that he always kept in his car.
He had to say it was a nice place with nice food but it just wasn't them. They aren't fancy restaurants and nice dinner plates. They are chicken and rice filled cardboard takeout boxes or a greasy cheeseburger. He doesn't exactly remember how they came to the decision to come here instead of one of their usual places, but here they were.
"Kens," he said.
She tore her eyes from the menu in her hand. "Yeah?"
"I don't want to be here," he said. Deeks should have thought a little bit more before those words fell out of his mouth. Dammit, you idiot, wrong choice of words.
She swallowed hard and sat there with her eyes still locked on his. She didn't know what to say. All she knew is that he didn't want to be here. She couldn't seem to find the words to say. Not sure of what she was doing, she stood up from the chair and threw her napkin and menu on the table.
Way to go, Deeks, communication skills for the win.
He slightly lifted himself up off his own chair and grabbed her wrist.
"Kensi," he whispered. "Sit back down, please."
Ok, now he was really confusing her.
She stood there for a moment but surprised him and herself by sitting back down.
"I thought you said you didn't want to be here," she said in slightly bothered and angry tone.
He leaned forward a bit. "That is not what I meant."
"Of course it wasn't. It never is. We came here to talk and now you don't want to be here!" she said and rolled her eyes annoyingly.
"Please, let me explain," he pleaded.
"Fine."
"Just because I don't want to be here doesn't mean I don't want to be with you."
She sat up in her chair a little bit straighter. "So then, where do you want to be?"
"I want to be at my place, right now, with you."
She froze and her mouth fell slightly open. "What?"
Part of her was surprised by his words and the other part of her wasn't. She had spent countless nights at his place before. But what he just said had such a different tone to it, like it had a different meaning than it was letting on to be.
"I know we need to talk and I want to be with you, but what I am trying to say is that this isn't us."
"What are you talking about?" She questioned. This was them. This was them sitting down in a restaurant and holding a conversation.
"Kens, we aren't these fancy restaurants or polished silverware. We are the completely unhealthy takeout food and either some sappy chick flick or a horror movie." He chuckled at his own words.
She was catching onto what he was saying and finally understood where he was coming from and he was right. This isn't them. They are the movies she makes him sit through even though she has seen it countless times, but he just sits through it because it makes her happy and that's all that matters to him. They are the nights when she falls asleep on his couch without even realizing it and they wake up the next morning in each other's arms with no problem at all. But right now this isn't them.
She leans forward with her forearms resting on the table. "So what you are trying to tell me is that you want to ditch this place and go to your apartment."
He shrugged his shoulders. "Pretty much."
"Well why didn't you say so?"
"Guess I am still trying to work on my communication skills," he mumbled.
"I don't mind them," she said quietly to herself.
"What?" He asked.
"Nothing."
Deciding to drop whatever just happened she tapped her finger to her chin. "So, will there be Rocky Road ice cream?"
He couldn't help but grin like an idiot. "Yes, there will be Rocky Road ice cream."
"Well then, I'm in," she said with smile tugging at her mouth.
"Good."
She repeated his words, "Good."
When she arrived at his place he still wasn't there so she picked the lock and let herself in. She went straight to the fridge and grabbed herself a beer, then went and plopped herself on the couch. Moments later Deeks walked in with the ice cream in hand.
He liked the sight before him, Kensi sitting on his couch as if it was the most normal thing in the world.
"So you put your lock picking skills to use I see."
"Sure did." She smirked.
He quickly headed to the kitchen to grab some spoons and then sat himself right next to her on the couch. "Well the first store was out of the Rocky Road brand you liked so I had to go to another and luckily they had it."
She smiled. Of course he went to another store because the first didn't have what she liked.
She took the ice cream from him.
"Thank you," she said.
He nudged her shoulder like she had done to him earlier that night. "Welcome."
She enjoyed her ice cream, but when she was done she placed it on the coffee table. She leaned back and rested her cheek on the back cushion.
"Deeks."
He turned to look at her. "Yes, princess."
"What happens next?"
He didn't need her to say anything else. He knew exactly what that meant.
He scooted closer to her.
"I spend everyday thinking about that. Always trying to figure out the right words to say to you," he simply stated.
"Me too."
She kept her eyes locked with his.
"Things got thrown for a loop and the past couple months I have been trying to recuperate and get back to my old self. I wanted to get my head in the right place before we talked about it."
She knew, but still asked. "The kiss?"
He nodded his head.
"I also wanted things to get back to normal between us, I guess."
She playfully nudged his side with her elbow. "I think you can say we are not normal type and never will be."
He agreed with her. "True."
It got quiet for a moment, but it was a comfortable quiet.
"I'm sorry," she said.
"Why?"
"I just left. I didn't even say anything. Then you…" She was using everything she had not to break down into tears. "You-"
He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and brought her close. "I know, Kensi, you don't have to say it."
By now she was shaking in his arms. "I was so scared, Deeks. I couldn't lose you."
His partner breaking down in his arms was something he didn't see everyday.
He kissed her forehead. "Well, I am here now and I am not going anywhere."
He started to rub small soothing circles on her back. A few minutes later once she had calmed down she lifted her head up off his chest and met his gaze.
"So when you kissed me-"
He stopped her mid-sentence, "I meant it and I knew I was laying everything out on the line."
"And now?" She asked.
"And now, I still feel the exact same way about it."
"Really?"
"Really. We had been dancing around our thing long enough, I figured it was time for one of us to do something," he said.
She raised her eyebrow. "So there is a thing?"
He tilted his head with a toothy grin plastered across his face. "Yeah, you could say there is a thing."
"And this thing, what are we going to do about it?"
"I was thinking we could give it a shot, that's if you want to?"
"I would like that."
"Me too," he said and then inched his face closer to hers and placed a kiss on her lips.