Disclamier - They all belong to Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. And both of these marvellous people would probably want to shoot me on sight for this one, lol.

Notes - This is the one where you find out who wins the bet! Yes, these two lovebirds finally get it on! And on! And on! Just like the energiser bunny. They started and now they won't stop...

Lay Your Hands On Me: Seven Deadly Sins

Life was a nightmare. For both Aziraphale and himself. He suspected that it was worse for the angel, but he was feeling just as stressed, and stress in him was not a good thing. Aziraphale had found that he couldn't remember things the same way. In fact, anything that went to his short term memory was deleted by his brain within half an hour. It was annoying to be in a conversation and be asked, over and over what they were talking about. Sometimes if he was reminded, a memory might come back to Aziraphale and he would smile all happy like, and saying he was making progress with his memory.

This was actually true. Before, Aziraphale had not been able to keep anything in his mind for longer than five minutes. And it had just snuck up on him suddenly, or so the angel said.

Crowley knew this not to be true. Honestly, how far in denial could one go? Aziraphale had sworn nothing was wrong, before asking him where his cup of tea was. Aziraphale had heard that alcohol was bad for him getting any better, so he had not touched the stuff since. He had a big note on the fridge saying "DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL" in case he forgot. It was no fun getting sloshed on your own, so he had stopped too. When around Aziraphale. Sometimes when the angel slept, he would drink as much as he could before reaching his limit of not being able to make himself sober and feel a bit calmer for it.

"Crowley! Come here, I have something to show you," Aziraphale stated quite loudly from the living room.

Too bad if he had been asleep. Honestly, he was regretting asking the angel to stay at his place. He had been losing sleep as it was. He was too far strung up right now to do so properly and it was getting on his nerves. He was about to call a time out on Aziraphale..for himself.

When Aziraphale had gotten the courage up (with a little help from Crowley of course,) to go to a doctor, he had been sent to a speech pathologist of all things to work on his memory, and it had been helping. One of the first things that they both had learnt (Crowley had been going with the angel for 'moral support', he was bored of them already) was the 'Time Out' system. Aziraphale was quick to anger nowadays. So much so anything could set him off yelling and screaming. If Crowley saw any signs of imminent anger about to burst from the angel, he was to tell the angel to calm down somewhere else for at least 15 minutes. It worked the other way too. Aziraphale could call it on him. Aziraphale hadn't yet used it, but Crowley had...too often it seemed.

The first week of using this system had gotten quite ugly, and he had been punched in the face more times than he cared to ever remember by a wrathful angel. The first time Aziraphale had done this to him, he had stated quite loudly in his own frustration over not being allowed to truly get angry back, that wrath was one of the deadly sins. He had been knocked unconscious. He would never say it again.

A knock sounded at his door and it cracked open enough for Aziraphale to peek his head in. Crowley glared from his comfy position in his bed, still all wrapped up snug and warm. Aziraphale was either going to fly into a fit any second, or he was genuinely excited about something. "Get out of bed Crowley, I have something to show you," the angel stated, trotting all the way into his room and tugging down his blankets.

Nothing could have prepared him for the sudden and overwhelming anger that swamped his body in that moment. Fangs, usually hidden quite comfortably, sprang forth, and he bit deeply into one pudgy hand. He wasn't poisonous, he just kept his teeth in his mouth this way because it would look peculiar to walk around with them exposed all the time, and like his eyes, he couldn't seem to get rid of them, or at least change them in any way. So, he kept them like all the poisonous snakes in the world would, neatly against his upper jaw, out of the way. He grabbed tightly on to the angel, let go with his mouth and punched him hard in the stomach. "Get out! Leave me be!"

Aziraphale looked at him completely surprised, before turning and fleeing out of the room, towards the direction of the bedroom he was currently living in. Crowley then threw a fit of his own, yelling and screaming at no one in particular for making him put up with this in the first place. He didn't blame Aziraphale for what happened. He blamed God, he blamed Satan...he blamed himself, but never Aziraphale.

The yelling didn't cut it so to speak and he spent a few minutes pummeling his walls until his hands were nothing but hand shaped pieces of broken bone and ripped flesh. He felt better afterwards, if in a bit of pain. He wished his hands better and sighed as they fixed themselves. If only fixing what he had just done to Aziraphale was this simple...and he hoped it would be.

He stayed in there for the customary fifteen minutes, knowing any sooner and his anger might be provoked again. He had seen that happen before and didn't want to ruin whatever the heck it was that he had with Aziraphale. As it was, the niggling little feeling called guilt was now sneaking up on him. A few minutes later found him in his kitchen fixing up Aziraphale's favourite hot cocoa in a silly way of trying to make amends. He made himself a cup too.

Walking over to what used to be his study, he knocked on the door and opened it slightly. Aziraphale didn't seem to be any worse for wear, in fact he was writing hurriedly in a journal of daily activities he had, a small smile on his face. Crowley frowned a little confused. He was sure he had bitten and punched the angel...why was he happy?

"Aziraphale, I made you some cocoa," he said, slipping into the room, holding out one cup and drinking the hot liquid from the other. Aziraphale turned around, smiled at him, said his thanks and took the offered cup. He went back to whatever it was he was doing, sipping at the beverage in front of him slowly.

Crowley left the room again, knowing that if he broke the angel's concentration any more than he already had, he would be facing the angel's wrath again. The thought would have made him smirk, if he wasn't so sick of it already.

Now he was getting a headache...

A few minutes later and Aziraphale came back out of his room, still all smiles and bright eyes. Crowley looked down at Aziraphale's hands and spotted the two puncture holes from his bite. Nope, he really hadn't been imagining things then. Aziraphale was in a really good mood it seemed.

"Feeling better?" Aziraphale asked him, as he sat at the couch, his hands reaching out to the book that was lying there full of crosswords.

Crowley shrugged, nodded and smiled sheepishly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." He was telling the truth too, Aziraphale was the one thing in all the world (with the exception of his Bentley) that he never wanted hurt. "I was going to call a time out, but guess my anger got more of a hold of me than I thought..."

Aziraphale beamed down at him and begun flicking through the pages of crosswords. "Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. You would know this if you paid any attention during my, er, sessions."

The angel found that he was looking for and the smile on his face got so bright, Crowley had to squint. "Can you turn down the halo a bit, your burning my eyes," he said, feeling like an idiot for even mentioning it really. Aziraphale was happy, not all divinely wrathful. He was just glowing with...was that pride?

"Look!" Aziraphale said, his voice full of that expression that came with doing a difficult job right after many failed attempts. Crowley looked. On the page Aziraphale showed him was a correctly done crossword, every answer filled in neatly. And then it wasn't only the angel who was feeling pride. Crowley pulled the angel to him and hugged him close, and without thinking kissed him soundly on the lips. They both stayed in that position for a few moments, not knowing how it had started, but both enjoying it.

Their lips parted slowly, and Crowley couldn't help but lick his lips afterwards, tasting the cocoa that they had both drank. "Wow," he said a few seconds later, before Aziraphale's lips were over his again.

This kiss was different.

It was longer, it was harder, and it was full of desperation. The kind of kiss lovers gave each other after being separated for ages and were finally able to steal a moment of time with each other again. Hands begun to explore, tongues begun to duel in mouths, clothes were being loosened, even though they could have been wished off.

"I need you," Crowley whispered, before strong hands pushed him against the couch.

"Then you'll have me," Aziraphale growled back to him, before grinding their hips together.

It was rather odd really, and quite awkward. Aziraphale had stumbled with their belts, finally getting their pants off, which soon joined their shirts on the floor. His legs were put in a position that just didn't seem natural to him. Then he had been whisked away with the most explosive feelings he had ever had. He had thought he would never feel anything better than Aziraphale's fingers inside him, and then the fingers had disappeared and pain entered the picture. He hadn't been given any time to adjust to being taken by Aziraphale before the angel began to move. And then...well, then the pain faded away as everything begun to feel so damn good!

It lasted less than a minute, but only just.

Being prepared beforehand had made him very much ready, but he still hadn't expected to have finished so soon. But to hear the angel as he began to shout profanities, before screaming his name as orgasm hit was even better. He had felt it too, inside himself as he was still reeling from his own release seconds beforehand.

As the dizzy realisation that he had just had sex, real sex, overtook his mind, he had begun shaking uncontrollably. That was it...now they were both going to be separated and tortured for the rest of time. Or, at least, he would be. The angel naturally would get that damned divine mercy. Aziraphale would either be forgiven and sent back on his merry way, or would Fall.

He would have driven himself mad with these thoughts if he didn't find that he was having breathing problems. And right now, he needed the breath. "Aziraphale...please, will you move so that you aren't smothering me?" he asked, and Aziraphale grunted slightly and moved to his left. Crowley yelped. "Will you get out of me first? That hurt!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot." Aziraphale stated, before doing what was asked of him, once again moving to his left. Another yelp, followed by a loud thud followed, as Aziraphale fell off the couch.

Crowley couldn't help it, he laughed. The problem was he found himself unable to stop. When he did manage it, he had the worst experience in his life to date. He found himself unable to breathe, his chest was tight and he felt as though he was about to drop dead from it. And to have this experience when one didn't have to breathe...it was scary. The thought of what would happen to him because of the sex was even more terifying though.

When the feeling left, he became aware that he was lying against Aziraphale on the floor, the angel rubbing his back encouragingly. They were both still naked. And they were in need of showers too.

"Was I that bad at it?" Aziraphale asked.

"Wha...? Bad? No! No, it was good, but you could have waitied for a bit while I adjusted. It hurt for a bit there you know," he replied, glad for the conversation, regardless of the topic.

"Oh, good. For a minute there afterwards I was wondering if I was truly bad at it."

Crowley stared into his opposite's eyes. "Angel, the proof I enjoyed it is currently splattered over our stomachs...and probably on the couch too."

Aziraphale blushed that deep shade of red he turned when anything embarrassing is told to him. Crowley found that he...well, he really liked the look. So much so, that he reached up with one arm, turned the angel's head down a bit, and initiated another kiss. "I don't want you to get into trouble for this. For that matter, I don't want me to get into trouble because of this."

Aziraphale grinned. "Always thinking of yourself. Well, if anyone asks, I started it...and I cannot believe I did that!"

Something the doctors said came filtering back to Crowley's mind then. Something about inhibitions being lowered and people acting differently after such an injury. He wasn't complaining...although he was still scared of being punished for it. He didn't particualrly like being scared.

They fell into an uneasy silence, Aziraphale still rubbing gently at his back. He was calm now, more calm than he had been in a long time, the fright of what will happen to him vanishing just as the awkwardness of the silence did. The hand at his back stopped moving and he felt more than heard that Aziraphale's breath had evened out. The angel had fallen asleep.

Getting up, he winced at the sudden pain the movement caused. With a slight wave of his hand he cleaned up the mess, dressed the both of them and mended whatever had been injured inside him. Or at least, stopped the discomfort he was in. He hadn't noticed blood on Aziraphale, so nothing major must have been hurt.

He bent down and picked Aziraphale up. The angel, not able to do much things that were strenuous without tiring himself out nowadays never so much as stirred. He carried Aziraphale to the new bedroom and put him in the bed, covering him up snugly with the blankets. He couldn't stop himself as he let his hands glide through wavy hair, rustled and out of place from recent activities. He bent down low and kissed the angel's forehead, before telling him in a whisper to get some more sleep. It wasn't necessary, it just felt natural to do at the time.

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When he woke up, he found himself covered by the sheets on his bed and his brow furrowed. He was quite sure that he had fallen asleep somewhere else. He shrugged his shoulders slightly and let himself just lie in bed, feeling the comfort of the piece of furniture. He felt relaxed and lazy and content in a way he hadn't felt since the time he and Crowley had come up with the Arrangement.

It was odd, finding out that contentment wasn't that often in his life. He frowned slightly and reached to his bedside and grabbed at the book there. He wanted to know what had happened. Reading the last entry he smiled. Yes, indeed, the crossword. He had been very proud over that. He had the niggling feeling in the back of his head he had a lot of nowadays which usually meant something happened that he hadn't got to write down.

Sighing, suddenly not feeling that lying in bed was the right thing to do, he got up and made his way out to the kitchen to make himself some tea. He would have prefered alcohol right now. He was finding that giving it up was harder than it looked, and knew that Crowley was still drinking without him, if for no other reason than to calm nerves. He rubbed absently at his hand, looked down and frowned.

"Crowley? Are you home?" he called out, listening intently for the demons voice. He didn't hear it, but it wasn't uncommon for the demon to be asleep at all hours of the day.

His guess was right as, upon walking into the middle of the lounge room, he found the television on, with the volume turned down, and the green bar down the bottom still flashing as if Crowley was trying to get it further down than non existent. Looking to the couch, he smiled. Well, the mystery of the volume was answered. Crowely had fallen asleep on the lounge, his finger, while quite relaxed, had found its way to the remote.

He pulled the remote from long fingers and put it on the coffee table out of the way. Gentle, light snoring was his reply for doing this. He had never heard that from the demon before. It was the first time he had ever spied the demon sleeping with his mouth open though.

He had no idea what possessed him to do it, but the next second he lowered his head and kissed Crowley on those slightly opened lips. Without much thought, he opened the mouth that bit further and tasted the inside of Crowley's mouth. Soon, hands threaded their way through his hair and he was pulled against Crowley who was much more awake now. He soon had to stop for breath that he noticed he needed just that second.

"Mmm, that's a nice way to be woken up," Crowely stated, licking his lips and smiling lazily up at him.

Something inside Aziraphale's stomach flipped and he felt light headed all of a sudden. "Oh my, I didn't mean to wake you. It's just you...and then I...I'm sorry, I don't know what got into me."

"As I remember it, you got into me," Crowley stated and grinned, before wiggling his eyebrows. It looked ridiculous on him but that never really entered Aziraphale's mind at that moment. He had frozen.

"We...we...how far exactly did we go?" he asked, dreading the answer, yet somehow wanting it to be true. Oh how he wanted to hear what he was thinking to be true.

"Well, we went all the way and then some I think...but it was good, and you were good and perhaps I should have written it down somewhere. I forgot that you might not remember." A slight grimace passed over the demons face. "Next time though I think it might be better in the bed, and not on a small piece of leather furniture. You kind of fell off when I told you to move."

Aziraphale buried his head in Crowley's shirt and groaned. "Did I hurt you? Did I hurt myself? Was your couch ruined? How did I wind up in bed if you fell asleep here? Did we...mmm."

Crowley had stopped him from rattling on in the most delicious fashion, and soon it was Aziraphale lying on his back, with Crowley leaning over him. Their tongues were trying to fight their way into the others throat and oxygen was becoming scarce. Blood was running to certain parts of his body which he was getting pretty sick of nowadays.

Well, he had been getting sick of it, until Crowley tugged their pants off before kissing him again, rubbing their bodies together in a most wonderfully arousing way. "Ah, Crowley...shouldn't we get off the couch?" he managed to mumble out, before his legs were thrown haphazardly over slim shoulders.

"No, let me just...we can do it here again, I don't mind. The couch wasn't hurt last time."

Aziraphale was going to protest, he truly was, but then Crowely did something with his fingers that at first made him cringe, and then he wanted to scream. Oh, but it felt extremely good! He began babbling incoherent sentences and didn't care. He was so tongue tied that he couldn't even manage to swear. And then there was stillness, as Crowley exchanged fingers for something else. And pain. It was short lived really, Crowley apologised and pulled back out of him.

"Oh, damn, I'm sorry. Really. This has never happened before, really and even you managed...oh fuck, did I hurt you?"

Aziraphale was kind of lost as to what had happened, but the pain was passing as he lay there unmoving. He thought it may start up again if he began moving so much as an inch. "Er, a bit. Was that...it? Because I never...and well...was that it?"

Crowley got off him in a huff. Aziraphale stared after him as the demon went to his room and slammed the door shut. He couldn't help but wonder why. It might hurt a bit...and sure, it sure didn't take long, but before Crowley had tried it was very pleasurable. Surely that should be taken into some consideration.

He slowly got off the couch, cringing slightly at the pain it caused. He was sure Crowley hadn't meant to just barge into him like that...it was just one of those things that happen. And his mind was much too hazy of late for him to even think about healing himself. He would have to get Crowley to try.

As he walked, the pain lessened slightly, which he took as a good thing, and he couldn't feel blood which he took as another. It must have just been the sensation of suddenly being bodily invaded like he had been, even if it was a consensual act. He slowly made it to Crowley's door and knocked quietly, before pushing it open and peeking inside.

Crowley was lying on top of his bed, still naked and sweaty, holding his pillow close to his chest. His head rested on top of the fluffy pillow, his legs curled up his lower half, as if trying to go into the fetal position humans were fond of when troubled. Aziraphale slowly inched his way to the bed and sat down on it, putting a hand onto Crowley's back in what he thought of as a rather friendly gesture.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that, it's...well, I wasn't expecting that to happen you see, and if it helps, it is natural for that to happen sometimes on a males first tr..."

"Shut up, angel!" Crowley growled, burying his head further into his pillow.

Aziraphale blinked slightly and shifted. If Crowley was going to leave him like this, he would be very uncomfortable until his body decided to calm down. He refused to repeat the fiasco that caused all this mess in the first place. "Crowley, please, I need you to...please, just finish what you started."

Crowley raised his head from his pillow and glared. "Finish it yourself. Or what? Afraid of Falling? Hello, angel, we just had full on sex. For the second time today! Lust is a sin you know. For that matter, so is pride and wrath and gluttony and vanity and envy...all of which you seem to be very fond of doing. Check your wings just in case. You're just bastard enough right now to be a demon!"

Aziraphale didn't know whether to get angry or to cry at that one, but he still felt Him so knew he hadn't Fallen. No...Crowley was just trying to get him to react. This time he would keep his own temper in check. But he couldn't let that one slide..he really couldn't "Envy? When was that my dear?"

He got no answer. Aziraphale thought it probably had something to do with a book somewhere. Anathema flashed briefly into his mind. He shrugged.

Slowly and to show that he had complete faith that he was still an angel, he let his wings out and gave them a small shake. Crowley scowled at the pristine white feathers and reached out to touch them. Though he knew it might not be a good idea, he let those demonic hands feel the feathers and he was paid with a sigh.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

Aziraphale sighed himself, reaching awkwardly around his wings to pat the demon. At some stage he must have turned his back, the feeling of hands stroking his wings making him relax ever so slightly. A hand snaked its way to his front and began to gently touch where he most wanted it just then. Aziraphale groaned and arched back.

He had no idea what was happening, only that he had been lifted up before finishing and sat on Crowley's lap, easily being taken again as he merely willed his body to accomodate the demon. And it was simply divine. It had lasted longer, but it was rather fast, and it was much more better for both of them. And better yet, this time Crowley had managed to get him to finish first.

Before he drifted off to sleep this time, he made sure that Crowley promised not to leave, so he would wake up wrapped in his arms. If he wouldn't remember, at least he would have a reminder of the events.

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The tavern was almost empty, except for a couple of drunken men that were throwing a party for a bachelor who seemed to be getting married the next day bright and early, and two odd-looking gentlemen sitting at the bar, sipping on beer that was barely frothy at all, and never had been.

"Well, I must say that I am not surprised at all," one of them stated, sitting up properly in his chair, a smile on his lips.

"Perhaps it was meant to be. I wonder what will happen on earth in the next few months," the other replied, slouching in his seat.

"Well, hopefully," the young blond sitting straight in his seat said, "there will be lots of chaos and souls going to me out of all this!"

"Oh, I wouldn't necessarily say that," the other replied, keeping his balding head of brown hair down so his eyes couldn't be seen. "You say I underestimated my angel. Perhaps you overestimate your demon."

Satan snorted. "Oh yes. Perhaps I have. And perhaps I haven't. We will have to wait and see."

God smirked into his mug of beer. "Oh, yes, wait and see."

They finished their drinks, paid with actual money that they had and left.

And the world began to wonder if it was such a good idea to still be around.