AN: Oh, look, a Thing! Okay, this is completely self-indulgent trash, pounded out in a little over a week, through a real bitch of a head cold. Seriously, I had clogged ears and everything.
Sick Scary aside, this is a miniseries of sorts, set before the Murder Dorks were, well, murderous. God, they were adorable once…takes place after 'Dreaming Dreams No Mortal...', located in 'Phobias'.
Title taken from a lyric in Woven Hand's 'King David', because I LOVE THAT LYRIC. Cat burglars gotta have that jewel, I had to have that lyric.
The cornfields jostle and sway in the wind, rippling like water. Storm's comin', probably'll be here by tonight. He's hoping it'll pass them by-this old house surely can't stand much more-but he doubts he'll be so lucky.
Jonathan sips on too-sour lemonade and finishes the last of his math homework. Waste of time, he knew this four years ago…it's hardly his fault his classmates need 'remedial help'. Why should he be punished for their stupidity?
No matter. He stacks the papers neatly, tucks them inside the book, and stows the book itself in his backpack. There. All set for tomorrow (he's willing to bet that Neanderthal Griggs is staring at his book going, 'duh, what's a cross doin' here?').
The mental image amuses him. Shame he can't draw. That might make a brilliant satirical comic. With added amusement that said Neanderthal probably doesn't know what 'satirical' means.
The wind picks up, rattling a window somewhere, and Granny's voice echoes from downstairs like a demon from Hell itself.
"Boy! Get down here and help me with the windows!"
Do it yourself. he thinks rebelliously, but he wouldn't dare say it. He likes living, thank you very much.
Besides. Kitty pestered him into coming over tomorrow (he told Granny he'd volunteered to stay after and help clean-earned himself grumbling but nothing worse), and he's been assured that her mother is formidable. If promised a meeting and not given it, the world could end.
He wouldn't dream of being responsible for ending the world. Even to a non-believer, that sounds like a ticket to Hell. And Granny will certainly be in this presumed Hell, so…
He checks the hall windows on his way down and is just thinking they got them all when one flies open and nearly hits him in the face. He dodges it-mostly-but it manages to knock his glasses off all the same.
Fockin' hell! Kitty's voice complains in his head, and he's so grateful that Granny can't read minds. Swearing is bad. Swearing will land him in his room with no dinner.
Besides, Kitty swearing is funnier. She looks twelve if she doesn't bother doing her makeup, and the sight is absolutely hysterical. Even if mentioning it makes her yell at him.
Especially then.
He rescues his fallen glasses-not broken, hallelujah-and muscles the window shut. No rain, not yet, but it smells like water outside.
"Jonathan!"
"I got it, Granny, nothing's broken."
She hobbles over to him, cane heavy on the floor-oh, good, she's hurting tonight-and watches him double-latch the window.
"Go outside and make sure the cellar's latched up."
He doesn't want to. Either through maliciousness or forgetfulness, she's locked him out more than once. Refusing, though, will get him forced out and locked on purpose, so he ducks out into the whipping winds. The scarecrow, which he suspects is cruel irony more than an attempt at driving off birds, clings desperately to its cross. Hopefully it'll blow away. Actually, hopefully not-he'll have to go fetch it, like he did last time. Or make a new one, whichever Granny deems necessary.
The cellar is latched, but he messes with it a little anyway to make sure. The wind bites at the nape of his neck and tries to force his hair into some strange relative of the comb-over. This is gonna be bad.
He's proven right a second later when a bolt of lightning hits the ground not five from him-he can smell the electricity. Cellar's fine, time to go in.
He bolts for the door, hoping that tonight he'll get lucky and the chapel will burn down.
Please be unlocked, please be unlocked…
It is, and he's just closing the door when the sky opens up and the rain comes down.