"Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you're not alone
Cause I'm going to make this place your home
Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found"- HOME-Philip Phillips.
Facing Reality
CH. 1
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It takes you a whole ten minutes to find a parking space outside of the church. You knew that people would show up, but not this many people. Most of them, like you, will be heading back east tomorrow. Before getting out of your rented black Mercedes you take a sip of your coffee. It was hard enough for you to get out of your hotel room this mourning. You cried all night long for many reasons; the loss that you just suffered and just being back in Los Angeles after so many months. Placing the cup of coffee from Jet Brew (man did you miss the taste of their coffee) back down in the cup holder, you look in the rear view mirror. You run a hand through your black curls and re-apply your mascara. Once your done, you take a deep breath and open up you door stepping into the warm California weather. The warmth doesn't feel right for the occasion or maybe you have been in New York too long.
By the time you reach the church doors you know that you are late. You contemplate turning around, hopping in your rental car and driving straight back to the airport. They were your best friends so you have to face the crowd. All eyes will be on you when you walk in because you are still the infamous Jade West. You straighten out your sleeveless dress before gripping the cold knob that opens the church doors. Mrs. Vega, who is standing behind a podium at the front of the church, stops her speech to give you a warm smile. Behind the smile you can tell that she is broken, who can blame her. Once you take your seat in the back pew Mrs. Vega continues her speech and everyone returns to listen. In the pew across from you, you see Chessa.
Chessa. Three year old Chessa.
She looks different, maybe it's her hair or she probably got taller. You drown out Mrs. Vega's mournful speech and allow your self to cry for the millionth time since you came back to this town yesterday evening. Chessa has lost everything she has ever known- her parents. You allow your eyes to go to the two coffins at the front of the church. Thank god they are both closed. The veiwng was yesterday, but you made sure that you would be on a plane during that service. You cry harder, smearing your makeup, but you don't care. "Here you sweetie." An elderly lady, who you didn't even know was sitting next to you, hands you a tissue. You quickly grab it up, wiping away the tears as quickly as you can. "It'll be okay." she speaks again. But you know that it is a lie, everything has always been a lie. For the next ten minutes while people express their condolences, you twiddle with your thumbs. Every now and then you sneak a glance at Chessa. She seems so confused sitting next to her grandfather. David looks as beat as his wife who has since returned to sit next to her husband. Your child and her husband aren't suppose to die before you do, but again everything in your world is just so screwed up.
She lost both of her parents. Both.
Does she know how drastically her life has changed in only the matter of a week and a half. If you were here, maybe Andre would have keep his eyes on the road and not lost control of the car. Both him and Tori would be here taking care of their beautiful little girl. Every Saturday they would isolate them self's from the world and just jam out in their home studio, but instead this Saturday she is at both of her parent's funeral. Before you know it the funeral service is over and you remain seated to let most of the church clear out. You know that half of the people will be headed to the burial. Once most of the church is cleared out you make your way out of your pew and land head first on the tiled floor. "Oh my god Jade, are you okay?" Robbie asks you as he helps you get off of the floor.
"I'm fine." You mumble, quickly getting out of his embrace. Behind Robbie you see Cat looking rounder and more beautiful then when you last saw her. The pang of jealously hits you again but you shake it off. Tori and Andre wouldn't like it if you were still upset with Cat at their funeral. Both of them have tears in their eyes. They lost their friends too.
And Beck … well, Beck just stares at you.
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Cat forces you to sit with her and Robbie at the burial. "I missed you so much Jade. I'm due in three weeks and I cant wait." you just give her a tight knit smile. You look around for Beck. After the incident in the church he vanished to his (yours) truck before you could make it out of the church doors. You drain out everything that Cat is saying about her pregnancy and look around the graveyard. "Jade, please tell me that you're back in town for good." Cat says getting your attention.
"I leave tomorrow mourning, Cat." you sigh looking down on her belly. She is huge and you can't believe that she still has another three weeks to go. You think of Chessa again. She is the perfect blend of both her parents. She has thick curly hair, warm brown eyes and an obvious love of music at such an early age. You look around to see if she is here, but don't see her either. Suddenly Holly and David arrive along side Chessa. She just stares mindlessly as they all sit in the front row of the row of chairs. You can't see how she is doing because you are sitting to many rows back.
"He told me that he didn't do anything, Jade. He told me that it was all her and that she wanted nothing but more fame and money. Why can't you believe him Jade? It's been almost seven months." She places a hand on her swollen stomach. You wonder what she is having. You didn't stick around long enough to find out. You were angry at the world.
Everything in everyone else's life's seemed to be going perfect at the time. Cat had just gotten pregnant and the article in people magazine had dropped the same week she came to you and Tori with the news. The next week you were on a plane to New York, tears in your eyes and not having a clue what to due. You just want to go back a year where life was perfect. Beck had just landed another role and you just finished promoting one of your many hit films. He made you happy the way he would wake you up every morning with a kiss and how you would spend hours at night just being one with each other. You want to go back to before he slept with your co-star.
"Cat, Mellissa told me everything, okay? She was my co-star and … and my friend, why would she lie about something like that?"
You don't give Cat a chance to respond. Robbie just looks at you and you see his arm tighten around his fiancées shoulder. They got engaged a month after you left and you remember how Tori called you with the news. You were still angry at the world and at Beck for cheating on you. You read that article over and over again, staring at the photos of Beck and Mellissa at clubs and other social events. You can't do this anymore as you stand up and walk away from the burial. You hear Cat protest all the way but she doesn't come after you. You walk and walk until you are out of view from the burial.
"Leaving again?" his voices startles you and stops you dead in your tracks. He is sitting at the base of a tree you just passed. His suit is wrinkled, tie loosend around his neck. An instant scowl is placed on your face. "Wait, you are because that's what you do when things happen, don't you." He laughs wickedly as he stares at you. You stare at him and notice how much has changed. His hair is dull and lifeless and the smell liquor is so obvious it scares you. "What the fuck are you doing back here, Jade."
"They were my… friends." You breathe out. You want nothing more than to be back in your tiny cold apartment wrapped under the sheets, than to be facing him now. You haven't seen him like this before, but then again he wasn't the man you thought he was. He was ( still is) a liar and a cheater.
He laughs again making you flinch. "Oh really? Because didn't both of them try to convince you to stay and to believe me," he stands up now grabbing your wrists. You mind goes to the fights you had and the epic meltdown that sent you packing in the first place. He ruined everything all for some typical whore actress. "If they were your friends shouldn't you have listened to Tori and Andre. You always did before. You have no right to call them your friends. You haven't even been here in the past seven moths." His grip on your wrist gets tighter.
"What do you want from me, Beck?" you ask trying to break the grip but it doesn't loosen. The liquor strong in your nose makes you flinch again.
"I want you to admit that you were wrong and that your nothing but a selfish BITCH that runs away from all her problems, always. I want you to admit that you left me for here for no good reason at all. Admit that you were wrong." He screams, stabbing you with each word.
"You cheated on my! What did you expect from me, Beck?" you scream back at him. Tears coming back to your eyes and you feel them burn down your cheeks.
"You believe some low class whore over me, Jade. You're suppose to trust me and know that I would never cheat on you, NEVER!" he keeps screaming. You see tears fall from his eyes.
You gulp down hard. "Why wouldn't you cheat on me, Beck. You kissed another girl while we were together in high school. Plus she could give you everything you wanted." You say the last part in a whisper looking down to the ground.
" Your still on that, really? Why would I give you up, huh? We have been together for ten years, Jade. TEN! I LOVE YOUJADE! How could you believe anyone, let alone her, over me?" He is still screaming and you have nothing else to say. " Why did it take for our best friends to die, for you to come back. You should have listened to me, to them, before running away to New –" He raises your hands in front of his still crying eyes and he gets angrier. "You took it off, Jade. You are really letting this girl ruin our future, FUCK you!"
"Really Beck? Your the reason why i took off the stupid ring in the first place and why left in the first place! So FUCK you too!"
"And how is that treating you,huh?" Your heart breaks more with the fact that he is still screaming at the top of his lungs.
"Stop it, both of you!" Holly is now in front of you with tears in her eyes as well. The burial must be over. You can see cars leaving out of the graveyard. Beck lets your wrists drop numbly back to your sides. "You guys should be ashamed to act this way at your best friends funeral. It is good to see you again though, Jade." She brings you in for a hug and you squeeze tightly. You feel guilty as you try to picture her as the girl you grew to love over the years, the girl who told you that Beck did nothing wrong, the girl who you haven't talked to in a month and wont get to talk to ever again.
"It's good seeing you Holly, but I have to go. My Plane leaves early in the morning." You say whispering the last part. You see Beck's eyes flash with anger at the fact of you leaving so soon.
"Oh Jade. I love with all of my heart. You can't leave again, Beck has been miserable with out. And now that both Tori and Andre are … gone you are all he has left." You stare over to Beck as she talks. You feel sick to your stomach as you notice all the pain in your ex-lover's face and want to wrap your arms around his muscular figure and tell him that everything is going to be okay. You can't deny the fact that you still love him with all of your heart. But you don't want to end up like your mother, who was sucked in by your cheating father's lies. Beck cheated on you and nothing was going to change that-nothing. "Can both of you just try to act that you love each other, okay. Now both of you are coming to the reading of the will."
"Oh." You mumble. You rub your arms up against each other, suddenly filling cold. Them being dead is finally setting in you.
"What for," Beck asks confused but the anger and hatred he has for you still in his voice.
Holly takes a deep breath, "Well both of you were named in the will. You will have to work past this bump in the road and work together for Chessa's sake. You are her godparents and are going to have to take care of her, together."
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A/N:
hey! I got this idea from the movie Life as we Know it(you should watch it if you haven't seen it already) and decided to add a victorious spin on it! please review if you want me to continue. this is a different writing style i am trying out so sorry for any mistakes. i currently don't have a beta but would love one! Don't favorite and add to your alert with our reviewing. if you are confused on anything that happened in this chapter, all will be explained next chapter. but only if you review.