Ok so I guess I could tell you a bit about me. So my full name is Savannah Nicole Beaufort, I am 17 now. I was born in Halifax Nova Scotia, which yes is in Canada, and no not everyone in Canada is bilingual. I can speak French, English and Spanish but only because my dad is French and my mom is Spanish, I learned both early on, but since we lived in a country were English was very popular I soon picked it up too. I guess you could call me some what smart, I don't pull off 100s in class but my average is some where around 85 I guess. I also had a brother, being the all Canadian he was of course he played hockey and he was pretty good though some times his temper would get the best of him. He was an amazing person always there when needed and he helped me a lot when I need him. I guess you could call my family normal; we weren't that different then any other family.
I had a pretty good life; I was a swimmer who had promise of getting to the Olympics and getting into university on swimming scholar ship as well as many good friends. Sadly though that all changed and not slowly I mean like in a matter of one phone call.
You see I just got out of swim practice and went into the lobby to find my mom so she could take me home, it was a Friday so I had practice in the morning to, I need to sleep. I looked around and she was no where, so I called her, when she answered her phone all I could her was her crying and yelling and then the line went died. Of course I freaked out, I was asking anyone and everyone if they had seen or heard anything, everyone said no so I tried her phone again. No answer and then I tried my dad's phone and of course no answer, so you can imagine I was scared out of my mind. Then the police came into the lobby, I didn't notice them that much until they came and told me what happened…
They told me that… that my brother had been shot…. And he died on the scene….my mind went blank as the tears slide down my face with any noise… I was alone… He told me that going home was a bad idea because no one was there and when my mom and dad got home it would be bad. I was alone … no where to stay… I looked around for my best friend but she was away not even in the country… that's when I was crushed into a hug by my other good friend Shaun. He told me I could stay with him that night…
So I stayed with hid family for three days, I didn't eat, didn't talk, didn't sleep. I was a empty. I went home and it got worse, my mom was always crying, my dad was like a stone and I was alone, all I wanted to do was dye but I knew I couldn't do that to my parents. I tried to smile to comfort my mom but I only ended up crying myself. I love my mom so much and it killed me to have to sit and watch her cry well I sit there helpless.
This went on for a long time, I went to school but i learned nothing, my average went down and I didn't care… what the hell did it matter? I changed a lot in that time, I went from the girl who wore happy colors to wearing black, piercing my nose and lip and wearing lots eyeliner. I was different and I lost all my old friends only to form new ones, my best friend Jessica stayed away more and more as I changed. I quit my team because it was too hard to be part of something when I didn't know myself, I lost me.
So when I came home from school one day and there was a for sale sign on the front lawn, i didn't know what to think. I wasn't ready to leave this place but at the same time I was happy to go live in a place where I didn't have so many reminders of … him. My mom said we were moving to a small place called LaPush, my mom had a friend that had moved there some time ago, but they were still close. I had nothing to say, so I went along with it, it didn't matter where we went I would stand out. I haven't smiled a real smile since the day… it happened. Though I have tried to move on and live my life, it was too hard to forget the one person who has always been for me and never judged me and loved me. He was an amazing person and he was gone just like that, gone forever never coming back.
Now my mom is very quite and always wrapped up in her own little world and my dad is never home anymore, but who can blame him. You walk in the door and it is like very bit of happiness you feel is gone, that's why I barely send time at home. Not that anyone notices.
So that's me, I know sad story, whatever. I haven't moved on but I have found some nice ways of dealing with my pain. They go by tow names, drugs and alcohol; you would be surprised how much they help. I know, I know they are bad for me and they will ruin my life, blah blah blah, well I have news for you my life was ruined one year ago. So what the hell does it matter? It doesn't, at least not to me.
Right now I am standing out side my new house… wow it is small only two bedrooms and two bath rooms… oo well I at least this place had nice beach, it sounded like a great place to think. I went inside and put on my make up and put my hair up, then yelled at my mom I was going down to the beach, like she cared anymore. The beach wasn't far away it only took about a ten minute walk from my house, not that I cared it gave me lots of time to think. Though thinking isn't a good thing unless I have something after to calm me down but sadly I had nothing, which left me with two options, one break down and let it all out, yea right, two go find some one who could hook me up. I chose number two - I don't cry anymore - I walked down the beach looking for some people who looked like they could have some on them, and right now I wasn't looking for something to drink.
Then I saw a group of very large people sitting around eating, mmm… maybe they could help me out. I decided it was better to ask then miss out, I walked over to them and saw them all give me a once over, "Hi I am new here my name is Savannah." I put on my best fake smile, they ate it right up.
"Well Hey I am Embry" One of them said I smiled again, then they all introduced them selves expect one just kinda stared at me, though it wasn't one of those o-my-god-she-is-a-freak stares, more of an adoring stare I think?
"Umm so what you guys doing?" They said just hanging around and eating …mhm not the answer I was looking for, alight then time to ask them what I want know, " Yea well I was…wondering if any of you might know of someone who could …you know hook me up?" I put on my you-know-what-i-am-talking about face on.
They all stared at me not really understanding, then the one who called himself Embry gave me a once over and understood, " Look I know you may have heard some stuff, but we aren't like that" His face was very serious, whatever that wasn't helping in any way.
"Oo I haven't heard anything about you guys, i just really need to get high" that's when they all understood what I was talking about and they all did the same thing as Embry gave me the once over, finally seeing the real me.
"We can't help you sorry." One of them said to me, I had no idea who but his tone was starting to piss me off.
"Well then I will be on my way, and I know you all have already decided what kind of person I am, but to be honest I don't care. You have no idea who am I so screw you! " I looked at them one more time to see that one kid still staring, but when I said they don't know my I could see that he wanted to... Weird, but whatever… I walked away to hear they start to argue about something, but they no longer had held any interest to me, then I could hear some one running after me.