Author Notes: This is not a happy story, nor does it have a "Happy" ending. Just warning you now. Also, for those already familiar with the Shadow x Sara stories I've been writing; this is based on but not connected to them. As an apology for this I think I may post another oneshot on a happier note.
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It's hard to say now what will happen, but... I've just thrown away every chance I've ever had at a normal life. What kind of monster am I? I think I found out when she came to me, so trusting, so willing... Did I really betray her?
I am Shadow the Hedgehog. I have been alone before, and it looks as though I will forever be so. All I have left now, is to hunt Nega. I killed him, but somehow, I feel he's still out there, the same way she is still out there.
I had a normal life once. Maria wanted it for me long ago... back on the ark... She saw me as a savior of humanity, a genetic possibility, a cure for the illnesses of the weak, a defense against the unspeakable... but she also saw me as a person. I am just a created thing after all, moving to the strings of a puppeteer. i don't know why she could ever have seen me as more.
...And she did too. Sara. She had no fear of me in the beginning, I wish she had at the end... maybe she would have fought me... I couldn't have done it then. So damn normal. She said she could run faster than your average Joe Hedgehog, but by no means was she Sonic, even if they were related. I thirsted for the taste of something "normal" and I got it in her. For ten years, I had a mate.
That all ended a few days ago. I was away at work when it happened, and by the time I got home, I found Sara there standing at the door. She was out of breath, rattled... she was shaking, holding a note in her hands and trying not to cry. I held her, I asked what happened... Nega kidnapped our children.
We had two. Maria and Ash. Maria the Hedgehog was in no physical way like her human counterpart, but she was becoming a very gentle and nurturing soul like her. Ash was quiet like me, he only spoke when spoken to, or when he really felt the need to say something. Maria was a dark version of her mother as Ash was a light version of me.. I wish they were here... but... I don't know. Even if it was them, how could I tell them... I killed their mother?
Sara ripped part of the note off before I arrived, I could tell but I didn't say anything. The note said not to involve Sonic. I'm the loner type, so that didn't bother me, but the note was from Eggman Nega. He's different from Eggman, he's a clone, and a rotten egg. Worse than the original by far, he is cruel and willing to destroy if he doesn't get his way. The note gave me instructions detailing what I was to do if I wanted the kids back... it also told me what he wanted.
To the Ultimate Life Form,
Salutations and my best regards to Doctor Gerald Robotnik's finest!
I do hope this letter finds you in good health, though that's something
of a given, taken your biological nature, is it not?
You may have noticed something slightly amiss at home, and I do not
apologize for it. As Eggman's decided, by my very existence, to dabble
in genetics, I thought I might take a stab at it. You and I are not so very
different are we? Born in a test tube? I could go on about your genetic
potential, but I already have what I need from you, it's the kids I'm far
more interested in.
You are the Ultimate Life Form, but what of your offspring? I think they
too have limitless potential, but how best to unlock it? First, I would need
to study it, and to do that I would need more than a simple genetic sample.
I had wanted to do some experiments, but I doubt the FDA or PETA or any
other organization or you specifically would really approve. Therefore, I've
taken the liberty of starting things off myself. Honestly, I can't say that anything
I've got in mind is either safe or advisable, but they may be suitable for return...
if you go along with what I say.
Enclosed are instructions on the things I require of you in order to complete my
research. You are to get them for me. Of course, you're free to just attempt
finding me, but that might not be advisable for the children's sake... Oh,
as well, you should keep Sonic in the dark about this eh? Good little ULF...
Yours Truly,
Dr. Eggman Nega
Nega wanted to keep me busy so I couldn't find him. Wanted to separate me so that nothing could be done to interfere with his plans. It worked. And even worse, he made me a party to whatever unspeakable things he did to them. I feel so stupid. I'm just like some self-righteous hero, always walking right into the villain's traps, just because he or she feels the need to.
Of course, I didn't involve anyone else... but Sara? I don't know, I don't think I ever will. But then it came time for the final task... Kill my own mate. She knew this was expected, even though I hadn't. She arrived at the warehouse where I deposited the last of the high tech toys Nega had asked for, delivered right to me as per instructions... the ones she withheld from the note.
Her head was bowed, her arms were folded, but her ears were high and proud. Her eyes were hidden behind her silky brown bangs as she walked toward me. I was stunned. "I know what you have to do." she said. I can't remember how she said it, but it made me feel weak.
I remember holding her to me, stroking my fingers through her quills. I'm sure we were watched, he wouldn't leave something like this to chance, in a house where I could hide her away... he needed proof. I could hear him saying "Do it." but I don't remember there being speakers. I felt my breath slow as her arms wrapped around me... so completely trusting.
My fingers slowed as they danced through her quills over and over again. With each stroke, we came closer to our last moments... and she still treasured it. Nothing was said between us, just an understanding. Her arms held me tightly both to give me strength and to say "I'm sorry." She was normal, there really was no way she could help find them, so she just did what she could... offer herself in their place. I held her to me then, in a smothering way, her face buried in my chest fur, gradually being soaked by tears, until her breath drew still and her grip slackened... that was it.
Heroes are never late to the party, they never let the ones they love die. That's why I'm no hero, but now I wonder if Sonic is, because he got there in time to see me holding her limp body. I loved her, but I couldn't cry, all I had was an icy stare for Sonic as his emerald eyes burned toward mine. I could kill him without a second thought, but I had done what I set out to do... it was just a matter of the children.
I felt sick when I arrived at the address Nega told me the children were at... it was a Meat Processing Plant. I had a bad feeling from the beginning. A small robot circled around me with Nega's voice praising me from it. I had "done well" and "as promised" he would now "return the children"... in pieces.
I... all for nothing... I... I...
Rage doesn't describe what happened. I may as well not have been wearing my limiters. It wasn't even about the genetic research, it was all about breaking me! I risked everything, gave everything, I did anything... and it was all a LIE! I left them there to go after Nega. I don't even remember how I found him, but I did, I broke that bastard's fat neck! I did. ...and then I broke down.
I buried my children.
I buried Sara.
I went home.
I expected it to be empty as I felt, then I would take a match to it, destroy the last remnants of the lie. My life, I have always felt, is doomed to darkness. So be it. I sent angels to heaven, it was my turn to go to hell.
I froze.
Those brilliant brown eyes held me in utter confusion as she asked gently where I'd been. Where I've been? You don't know? It was Sara... waiting at the door. It was impossible, but she was there.
If it was a dream, it didn't feel like one. I felt like I was in a dream... a dream or a nightmare. I never could trust myself, now I can't even trust what I see with my own eyes. "I killed you..." but she just looked at me. The children were there too... like nothing had ever happened. How?
Clones. It's supposed to take a long time to cultivate one. Nega only had them a few days ago. It seemed impossible, but that's the only explanation I can see. But my trust has been shattered... are they the real thing, or the copy? I don't know... I can't tell... I don't know...
...So now I've been left alone, unsure who or what to trust. Are they clones? Am I a copy too? Reality... what a joke... Nega... I don't believe I killed you. I'll soil my hands with blood again and again, I'll fight you to the end of time if that's what you want... just don't fuck around with my family!
This is my life.
