February 14th 2017
"Where are we going?" she asked for what seemed like the ten millionth time.
"You'll see," he replied for the same ten millionth time, grinning as he watched her lean her head against the passenger side window of their SUV, trying to figure out where they were.
The pitch black night sky held no answers to her questions about her surroundings. She sighed, frustrated, leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms angrily. Nick could only smile at her in this moment as he drove to the surprise location only he knew about. Valentines Day had commenced with dinner, dancing, and lots of kisses and cuddles from her the moment she launched herself in his arms this morning.
After she presented him with a gift consisting of some vintage Dallas Cowboys merchandise she had hunted ruthlessly online for, she was perched on the couch eagerly awaiting her gift from him only to frown in confusion when he asked her to follow him outside and into the car. She had not stopped pestering him for information since, using her powers of destruction to try and make him melt; pouting, puppy eyes, more kissing, but none prevailed. He refused to reveal the surprise to her forcing her to do the impossible; be patient.
"We're almost there," he offered her a useless tidbit of information.
She glanced at him with a menacing yet adorable look and he smile again. She knew he enjoyed having this power over her and she seriously regretted giving him his present first.
When the car finally stopped, she leapt out, squinting in the darkness trying to identify their location but only seeing desert in all directions. After spinning around in the sand, kicking up dust, she turned to him and asked "Where are we?"
"If the map is correct, mile marker twenty seven," he said "four point two miles north of town"
As he spoke, he opened the trunk of their SUV and pulled out a folded telescope, setting it on its tripod in the dirt and aiming it towards the sky.
"Star gazing?" she questioned, folding her arms into her jacket sleeves and standing next to him "a little cliché isn't it?"
"Maybe," he teased consulting a sheet of paper with a flashlight "but I think you'll enjoy this"
He adjusted the telescope several times, checking the paper in his hand while she paced anxiously near by, kicking at small rocks and trying to stay warm in the chilly night air.
"All right," he finally announced, straightening up "check this out."
She shuffled over to him and the telescope curiously.
"A couple months ago I found this cool thing online," he explained "it lets you find specific stars with an app on your phone so-
He held her shoulders, guided her gently to the open trunk of the SUV, had her sit on the edge of it and said "take a look at your present" nodding at the telescope in front of her.
Slightly unconvinced, she peered through the scope.
"I see stars," she said plainly.
"Yeah," he said "but see that red arrow on the lens? See what it's pointing too?"
She focused on that arrow and the bright white star it was pointing at. It was clearly the brightest and biggest one in the cluster she was focused on.
"It's pretty," she told him truthfully.
"It's yours," he informed her now.
She almost poked her eye out when she turned her head quickly to gape at him and say "What?" incredulously.
"More precisely it's JF15" he recited from the paper in his hand "at least that's how the space people classified it in the email."
"You got me a star?" she breathed, shocked.
"Happy Valentines Day" he said grinning with that smug grin she loved.
"Wow," she breathed jamming her eye back to the scope to stare at the star cluster "it's beautiful and so bright, it's the best gift I ever-
She paused in her excited rambling, her smile fading.
"What?" he asked sensing the change in her mood.
"I'm so stupid," she said now "you get me a star in the sky and all I get you is lame football stuff."
She shook her head, scoffing at her own stupidity.
"Aw hey, listen," he said "I love that football stuff, its special too."
"Not it's not," she sniffled now to his horror "its lame, I'm lame and boring and thoughtless and-
"Hey," he soothed grabbing her shoulders and turning her to face him "you are not lame or boring, you put a lot of thought in those gifts, I love them and I love that you gave them to me, understand?"
She shrugged, half heartedly wishing she had something cool like a star to give him. She felt her face burn with embarrassment over the silly gifts back at home versus the beautiful one here in the night sky. Seeing that she wasn't going to let this go, he reached for her hands, held them tight and said "This is more than a Valentines gift babe" making her look at him properly again.
"I know how difficult tomorrow is for you," he continued slowly "for all of us really."
She sniffled, lowered her gaze back to the ground, thinking of tomorrow, the fifteenth, two years to the day after she was attacked by the Gig Harbor Killer.
"My coma," she sniffled.
"The worst day of my life," he summarized it brining his hand up to touch her cheek and gently brush away her tears "but this star, it's a symbol for you and how you survived and how you're bright and full of life and love and now the whole world gets to see that."
He finished his sentiment, tilting his head to steal a glance at her. She avoided his gaze shyly; until he lifted her chin and she met his eyes with her tear filled one.
"You've been through so much," he continued "but you're here, you've done more good than you realize, you stole my heart, you make everyone at the lab feel special, you take ordinary days and live them to the fullest, and that sky is a lot brighter because of that star, just like you've made all our lives brighter, how's that for cliché?"
She half laughed; half sobbed at his words, realizing now she was being foolish and here he was making her see reason like usual.
"Thanks Nicky," she said, thankful for his ability to tolerate her moods and understand her like no one else had.
"That's what I'm here for sweet pea," he said, sliding closer to her on the edge of the open trunk they occupied, wrapping his arm around her lazily. She lay her head on his shoulder and sighed, watching the night sky come alive with more stars. She shivered when the breeze picked up, tugging at the sleeves of her leather jacket, wanting to burrow into it for warmth but instead cuddled up to him.
"Nicky do we really have to go to the hospital tomorrow?" she asked quietly now.
"You know we do sweetness," he reminded her of her appointment with Dr. King as part of the agreement that she be checked out once a year for any residual damage from the attack and coma. Julie hated trips there even if she was well. Images of the white sterile rooms and cold tables loomed in her subconscious, ruining this moment until she felt him place a kiss on her forehead, once again able to sense her worries and attempting to soothe them.
It was the reminder of the appointment early tomorrow morning, and Julie's tired sighs that told him to pack up the telescope and head back towards the city. As he drove, she rested her head against the passenger window, no longer straining to see what was ahead. Instead she struggled to stay focused on the blurry scenery that flew past them, that post coma exhaustion hitting her still even after two years. They were half way home when she turned away from the window to rest her head on his shoulder again. Despite the horrible way in which she acquired this trait, he had fallen in love with her sleepy moods that came and went and usually meant a long night spent huddled together under the covers, just the way he liked it.
February 15th 2017
As he expected, waking her up the next morning for the appointment at the hospital was a grueling task. She stayed buried under the covers until the last possible minute when he warned her that it was becoming dangerously close to them being late arriving at the hospital. Like last year, Dr. King inquired about Julie's physical and emotional well being on the two year anniversary of her attack. She was pleased with her progress but still wanted a routine MRI which Julie immediately protested.
"I hate that thing," she complained to Nick, looking at him with sad eyes, practically pleading with him to somehow rescue her from having to do the test.
"It won't take long," Dr. King assured her when Nick was unable to think of a response that would comfort and convince her to have the test done.
"I'll be right here when you get back," was all Nick had to offer her for comfort as a nurse from the neurology floor entered the office and motioned for Julie to follow her.
She was gripping the sleeve of Nick's jacket during this debate and tightened her hold on it when she saw the nurse.
"Please?" she begged them, her voice cracking with emotions; frustration, irritation, on the verge of tears.
Despite everything she had endured and witnessed during her lifetime, residual fears and annoyances from all the time spent in the hospital two years ago were the things that upset her the most. Nick hated putting her through appointments and tests even if they were routine and mundane.
"I'm sorry sweetheart," Nick uttered, his heart breaking knowing there was nothing he could do to excuse her from the test.
She shattered his heart further with the look of devastation she pierced him with at his declaration, smacking her hands down on the arms of the chair in anger as she stood up from it and reluctantly followed the nurse out of the room.
Julie felt her eyes sting with the threat of tears as the nurse guided her to the floor with the MRI, reminded her of the procedure then helped her onto the awful movable table. "Keep still," was the last piece of advice the nurse had before vacating the room. Alone with her thoughts was the thing she dreaded the most and the minute the machine started to hum to life. This was the reason she didn't want the test, it dredged up all those violent memories she was slowly starting to overcome until something like this brought them back. Maybe that's what was bothering her, the fact that she was starting to forget.
Or maybe it was because there were still so many details she did not know. Sure they had captured May Winthrop but Julie couldn't help but wonder about those moments right after her attack. What would have happened if no one had found her? How did her body heal from all the bruises yet she was never awake to feel them? Not feeling pain but knowing it had been there created a bizarre feeling of disconnection with her body and her mind. The longer she stayed in this machine, the more questions bounced around in her head.
It took forty five minutes before the nurse was satisfied with the scans and allowed Julie to finally sit up from the table. Her head spun and her legs trembled beneath her as she unsteadily made her way back to the floor where Dr. King's office was alone. The waiting room was crowded as it was now after eleven in the morning. She scanned it for Nick, her eyes blurring, a headache beginning to throb in her skull. When she found him near the windows talking to Dr. King, she shuffled over to him and despite a room full of patients watching, she had no qualms about burying her face in his chest.
"Can we go home now?" she asked tiredly.
"Yeah," he said hugging her as Dr. King smiled and quietly bade them goodbye before slipping away to give them privacy "we're going home now."
Though it was only noon when they arrived home, Julie was exhausted. She dragged herself back up to their room, scrambling to get out of the "dirty" hospital clothes and into more comfortable things. She wanted to stay warm so she layered her Seattle shirt with his Dallas sweatshirt then buried back under the three sets of blankets they kept on the bed. She had just settled in bed when Nick joined her, Sam trotting along behind him. He was silent as he crawled in bed with her until they were lying facing each other.
"Are you sure you don't want to eat lunch first?" he asked, worried that skipping meals would somehow make her feel worse.
"Later," she said stretching her arms out towards him, wanting to be held.
Silently he embraced her, letting her snuggle aggressively until she was comfortable.
"I'm sorry about today," he apologized "I know you hate going there, maybe after a few years we can skip going you know? Check in every other year or something."
She shrugged, knowing that probably was unlikely to happen with the strict but kind Dr. King treating her and monitoring her progress so efficiently. The questions Julie had while stuck in that MRI fired up again in her head.
"I was thinking," she began "about that day, about what happened right afterwards, I know Greg and Morgan found me in that trunk but what else? What did that look like? What did I look like? Russell always said it was bad but I don't know. I woke up and didn't have any pain from that; do you know how weird that is? And what about-
"Hey," he stopped her rambling, worried that she was overdoing it "we don't have to talk about this."
"But I want to," she insisted, piercing him with that same sad look she gave him at the hospital. "I feel like part of my life is missing, I know I can't get that back from the coma but you and the guys were there, you can tell me whatever you remember."
He hesitated, not wanting to dredge up the pain and heartache that surrounded that day and the month that followed. Worse still, he did not want to upset her with the details or the fact that he was hardly there during that time because of the San Diego promotion and for the sheer fact that it had been too painful to sit with her in that hospital where he felt powerless, unable to wake her up and bring her back to them.
"Well sweetheart you know I wasn't there much," he admitted, guilt rising in his chest "that job was so new and the doctors told me there was nothing to do except wait and see if you-
He paused, knowing how ridiculous this sounded, realizing he never should have left her for work, the guilt from that outweighing the questions she had.
"You love that job," she reminded him now, reaching out to hold his hand "you know I'm not upset at you for staying there."
He nodded, noting the way she was holding his hand; it reminded him of the times he was able to visit and held her hand, begging her to come back to them.
"I'll tell you one thing I knew for sure," he said thinking back to those weeks "you were the most restless coma patient I've ever seen."
"Really?" she asked scooting closer to him, eager for details.
"You were always moving," he recalled "your arm would twitch or your fingers would move, you were in there and you were fighting, that much I know."
He reached up now to brush her hair, recalling all the times he did that motion while she was in the coma and how hopeful he was that with each motion, she would feel it and wake up.
"I was there when you woke up," he said resting his hand on her back now, his fingers tracing repetitive, comforting circles, "you had been moving all day, little twitches every few minutes or so, Russell was reading to you and I was holding your hand and then, you scared us both."
"How?" she asked.
"You died," he concluded plainly, tears in his eyes "the monitors on your heart starting beeping really loud, there were like ten nurses and Dr. King in your room in like five seconds working on you, and then you uh- you flat lined right in front of us, we all thought-
He paused, unable to say the awful words again.
"But then, you started moving a heck of a lot more than you had in weeks," he continued "I heard you make this sound, like a cry but different, and those nurses went nuts, we all started calling to you and when you opened your eyes-
He paused again, lost in that moment, amazed at how quickly it had gone from devastating to joyful.
"I saw you," she finished the story for him, reaching behind her to gently nudge his hand because he had stopped rubbing her back and she wanted him to keep going.
He smirked at her both for the way she nudged him and for the way she recalled waking up as vividly as he did; the way her eyes darted around the room, confused and scared but alive and seemingly okay. The way she almost toppled sideways out of the hospital bed, startled by all the nurses around her and how she only wanted Nick and Russell to explain to her what happened. How it took a good half hour to calm her down after telling her but how relieved they all were to see her awake and coherent. How she begged him to take her home that same day and how it broke his heart to tell her she couldn't leave until she completed therapy, but how well she had done in healing and getting to come home sooner than they were originally told.
"I saw you too," he said, grinning, continuing the motion on her back "you were so beautiful"
"Oh stop it," she protested "I was a hot mess."
"Not to me," he said "you were alive and safe and, you were still you."
He made sure to emphasize how the coma had not changed her personality.
"I guess," she shrugged, no longer feeling as if she had lost a chunk of her life after his descriptions just now.
"Was that okay?" he asked "was that what you wanted to know?"
"Yeah for now," she said knowing she would probably always wonder about some detail from that day but as of right now, she felt content.
"Did Dr. King ask you about that stuff?" he wondered now where she had suddenly gotten the idea to ask. It was her life and she had a right to know after all.
"No, I was thinking about it in the stupid MRI," she scoffed still bitter about the test.
"That's rough, I'm sorry," he apologized again for putting her through that.
"But you know, " he continued "next time when you have to sit through that, just think about those stars from last night, there are more than just single ones, there are clusters and ones that form every year, ones that make up constellations-
She felt relaxed as he told her about everything he had learned from the website and process of picking out a star for her. As he spoke about the different constellations, he traced the patterns of them on her back. She shivered, her stomach tingling at the tickling sensation she felt when he did that. It didn't take long for her to melt into the bed, the warm covers and his gentle touch, making up for all the pain and agony she had endured on this day and replacing it with love and affection, spoiling her just the way she liked it.