Disclamer: I don't own any of the marvolus twilight characters. they belong to stephenie meyer. lucky duck.

I just dicided to write this because i was really bored and i had a dream about it. sooo yeah. This taked place after Breaking Dawn. yeah...it's ment to be funny so if any of the characters seem completley out of character you just need to deal with because it's suposed to be funny and some of the characters just arnt funny. (im talking to you jasper) Well the first chapter might not be that funny though because i have to explain everything. bleh

Bpov

I was sitting in the living room with Nesie in my lap. Edward was next to me and Alice and Jasper were on the love seat. Emmet and Rosalie were sitting on the other end of the couch. Carlisle and Esme were out hunting. We were all watching Cartoon Network because it was Nesie's new favorite channle and she wanted all of us to watch it with her. Jake was in the kitchen rading the refrigerator that now only had food for him since vampires don't eat human food.

Nessie laughed at some non sence on the TV. I wassn't watching it but for some reason Jasper seemed to be very intrested. His eyes never left the screen, he didn't even blink. Wierd.

All of the sudden the front door burst open. Two girls (they looked about 13) where standing there with thick black books on there hands.

"Oh my gosh, we made it! I can't belive it!" The one with blackish-brownish hair said.

"I told you," said the blond one. Then she pulled out a camera and took a picture. Then they both walked in.

"uhhh... What are you doing in our house?" Asked Edward.

"We came to get our books autographed and to meet Edward Cullen," said the brownish-blackish haired one. Then the Blonde one squealed and ran over to Edward, and huged his neck. I growled and she just made a face at me. Edward unhooked her arms and she ran over to Jasper and did the same. Alice pulled her off and she walked over in front of the TV. Her friend joined her.

"Jeez Kaetlin, calm down," Kaetlin's friend said.

"Oh you know you wanted to do it," she said.

"Okay, what the hell is going on?" Jake said as he walked in. The blonde one (Kaetlin) shot him a death glare. The brownish-blakish haired one just rolled her eyes.

"I'm sorry, we havent properly introduced our selves. I'm Selena and this is Kaetlin. We are from another dimesion and have come to meet you guys like we said earlyer. Please don't make us leave with your super awesome vampire stength," the brownish-blackish haired girl said.

"How do you know who we are?" Emmet asked.

"These!" Kaetlin said and held up the thick black books. Edward held out his hand for one and she gave him all four. He skimed threw them and his eyes widened, then he smiled an evil smile. I started to look over his shoulder but he slammed the books closed and ran up stairs with all four. I hear a door slam.

"What was in there?" I asked. They laughed and it almost sounded evil.

"Your thoughts and secrets and stuff from the time you arived in Forks to after the Vulturi left after the Renesmee thing," Kaetlin said. "OMJ take my picture!" she added. She ran over to Jasper and threw her arm around his shoulder and pointed to his face and smiled. Jasper looked very uncompterble but he stayed still until Selena took the picture.

"Wait, what about my thoughts and secrets?!?!?" I asked. This insane.

Kaetlin laughed evily. "They are books from out dimension and they are your piont of veiw. Now Edward is up there reading your thoughts," then she stoped her evil speech and glared at Jacob. "Oh, and some of yours are in there too."

He spit out a mouth full of food and it landed on Rosalie. she screamed and looked up at him. Selena and Kaetlin laughed.

"I hope she kills you," Kaetlin said. Rosalie smiled. "Maybe I will," she said. Jacob ran out the house and Rosalie followed.

"YAY! Now that they," Selena said they as if they where the evilist people in the world, "Are out of here lets get to buisness," Selena said. She held out her books to Emmet. "Please Please please please please sign these!" she said.

"Uhhh....." was all Emmet said. She pulled out a pin and handed it to him. He hesitated at first but he took the pen and books and started signing them, skimming threw them at the same time. Kaetlin walked over to be and sat down on the couch next to me.

"What up?" she said. I just staired at her. "Hi Nessie!" she said, lifting Renesmee off of my lap and putting her on hers.

I stood up and walked to the middle of the room. I heard Edward giggle from up stairs and I growled. Everyone looked up at staired at me.

"WHAT THE FREAK IS GOING ON?!?!?!?!?!" I yelled.

"Jeez, don't get your tights in a knot," Kaetlin said.

"I'm not wearing tights," I growled.

"So," she said.

"Shut up,"

"You,"

"Don't make me hurt you," I said.

"If you did then you would either kill me, which i know you wouldn't do, or injur me so badly that you guys would have to change me (which would be totaly awesome) and you would be stuck with a vampire obsesed wolf hating vampire that trys to make Jasper her bff," she said.

There was a long pause.

"Woah," Nessie said.

"Do you like waffles?" Kaetlin asked Nessie. She put her hand on her face.

"Do you like pancakes?" she asked, Nessie put her hand on her face again.

"Do you like French toast?" she asked.

"I don't know," she said. Kaetlin picked Renesmee up and went into ther kitchen.

"I'm going to go check on Edward," Selena said. Once she was upstairs and Kaetlin was in the kitchen I fell to the floor. Then I slapped myself in the face.

"What has this world come to?" I asked.

Epov

I was on page 88 of Eclispe, mentaly laughing my head off. (You might want to go check that out) After crying dry sobs in New Moon and almost ripping the pages out in twilight, this was hilarrious. I was also kind of freaked out because all of this stuff actualy happened. Then I heard one of the wierd girls walk up the stairs. My door was opened without being knocked and I forced myself to look up from the book.

"I can't belive it! You don't look a thing like Robert Pattinson!" she said.

"Uhh... hello?" I said. She ran over and sat next to me on the couch. Then she leaned next to me and pulled out a camera and took a picture of us.

"So, how are the books that you are reading at vampire speed?" she asked.

"AWESOME!!!!!" I alomst yelled. Wow, I don't know where that came from. Then I realized something.

"Why can't i read your mind?" I asked.

She cleared her throat, "Because of ECMRBT's. That stands for Edward Cullen Mind Reader Blocker Thingys," She took a silver clip out of her hair," Me and Kaetlin invented them. Okay, heres the story, one day I was at Kaetlin's house and we were listening to Womaniser by Britney Spears and she was like 'this is boring' and im like 'i know' and she was like 'lets do something that's related to twilight' and im like 'okay' so we got her laptop and looked up your name on google and this add poped up that said 'how to make a portal to anouther dimension' so we clicked on it and it just said peanut butter and gravey so we exited out of it and then Kaetlin was all like 'i suddenly have a craving for peanut butter a gravey' so we went to the kitchen and got some pb and g and went back to her room. Then she acidently spilt it on her twilight books and a big orange swirly vortex opened up with a front door on it then she was like 'do you know what this means?!?!' and im like 'no' and she's like 'neither do i but i have a feeling that we opened a portle to the twilight dimesion and that we should enter that vortex and bring a camra, pen, and our twilight books with us because that is Edward Cullen's front door' and im like 'huh' and she's like 'come on. So we got a silver clip and put pb and g sented perfume on it because i didn't want you reading my mind and we entered the vortex of doom that was actualy the vortex of twilightiss," she said.

"Wow," was all i said. "I don't really understand any of this but i have a feeling that this is going to be fun.

Soooo how did you like the first chapter. It was kind of made to introduce people and explain everything, so if you didn't read that long paragraph that took me forever to think of then you should probably read it.

Oh and also Selena doesn't really talk like that but i bet she would if she met Edward Cullen!!! Please Review!!!!