AN: ok, I know I should be updating...but well I saw This Mortal Coil, and everything just got put on hold. Not too long though, I promise!
This is based off something John said in TMC, so really really small spoiler for that and he never even says it here. So you don't have to have seen the ep.
This is just a one shot about how John feels about a task he really doesn't want to have to do yet.
And I don't know how John really addresses Carter, so just went with Ma'am.
Oh, and Elizabeth will come back!!! That's what I think.
Post Lifeline Pre This Mortal Coil.
John heard a knock on the door to his quarters. He sat up from his position on the bed where he had just been staring at a corner of his room.
"Come in," he called.
The door swished open and Samantha Carter stepped partway into the room.
"Colonel Carter, what can I do for you?"
Sam couldn't help but notice how tired and sad he looked. His eyes held a distant look. Though he tried to hide it, she could tell from some experience that he was in pain, but not physically.
She cleared her throat and said simply, "You have some mission reports that I need. I tried you over comms, but you didn't respond."
John's hand absently went up to his earpiece. He thought he had heard something. But he'd been too lost in thought…."Uh, I guess I didn't hear. Sorry Ma'am. Uh, hold on a sec and I'll get those reports."
A second later Sam was holding the stack of papers, but hesitated to leave. Her eyes had briefly caught the same corner that had previously captivated John. Some cardboard boxes filled the empty space. All were taped shut except for one. In the box Sam saw several items set upon a laptop. There was a picture of a white dog, an earthenware pot, and a silver pocket watch.
John followed her gaze and for a moment looked completely lost before regaining his composure.
"Ma'am?" he asked, standing straight.
Sam looked back at John carefully. "John, I hate to say this, but…" She glanced once more at Elizabeth's belongings, getting her point across to John.
John shook his head fiercely and his green eyes turned steely. "I'm not sending her stuff back yet."
"We can't keep them here much longer. Her family will want her stuff back, and we really don't have a reason to be holding on to them."
Sam almost regretted saying the last part at his wounded look. But there was a determination in his eyes she'd never seen before. She hated to push the subject, but she was afraid he would never get over what had happened unless he got rid of the things that were just a constant reminder of the hurt. He didn't want to admit it, but it wasn't likely Elizabeth would be back.
"Dr. Weir was captured by the Replicators. Chances are they didn't see a reason to keep her alive." With those words, Sam was suddenly thrown back to a conversation she'd had with Jack about Daniel. Somehow she didn't think she was going to win this argument either.
"They have her; all we have to do is figure out a way to get her back."
"And how are we going to do that? Sooner or later, you-"
John cut her off. "With all due respect, Ma'am, we agreed that this would be my decision. Just a little more time for something to develop that will help us. I'm not giving up on her."
With a sigh, Sam nodded and left. John let out his breath and slowly walked over to the boxes. He gently lifted out the pot he'd given her. He suddenly had the urge to smash the clay, but instead set it down on the stand next to his bed. He knew it killed him to see these things every night, every morning when he woke up. But it reminded him to be strong, just like Elizabeth. And he was going to be strong for her. He was going to find her, and bring her home.
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