I do not own NCIS nor do I own any of the characters or the cover of this fic.
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Abby sat down at her desk in her home. She held her head in her hands as tears spilled down onto the paper below her. When to many tears fell onto the paper, Abby crumpled it up and threw it somewhere behind her shoulder and looked down at a new sheet of paper that had been hidden behind the first.
Abby couldn't say how long she had been doing this, all she knew is that she had started when she came home from work. Tony had announced that he was going to find Ziva.
Abby shook her head as she remembered that moment. Tony had that certain light in his eye, the same one that he had when he and the rest of the team left to rescue Ziva from Somalia. He thought he was going to bring her home, but Abby knew the truth. Tony could spend all the time in the world looking for Ziva, he could even find her, but Ziva would never return to Washington D.C. and even worse, she would never return to Abby.
Abby shook her head again, trying to somehow rid herself of these horrible feelings that had filled her to the point that she felt that if she fell, they would all come spilling out of her like a flood.
Abby picked up her pen and decided it was time to write. Abby wrote for a long time. She wrote about how she felt inside and about the things that had happened since Ziva had left. She wrote about the new house she moved into and about the new book she had started to read. Abby wrote about many more things, but out of all the things she wrote about, she never once asked for Ziva to return. She knew that Ziva was content wherever she was, and that was enough for Abby. She never wanted Ziva to feel anything less then happiness.
When Abby was done reading the letter, she read it to herself looking for any mistakes that she would have to fix.
My Dearest Ziva,
Everything has changed since you left. No one will even utter your name around me unless I say it first. They act like they're walking on glass that's about to break whenever they're around me, but then again, maybe they are. Not much has changed since you left, we've had few cases and Tony says he's leaving to try to find you... He want's to bring you back, Ziva. He doesn't understand that you won't come back, but I don't know how to tell him that. I moved out of my apartment, Ziva. I'm in my very own house now, its big and empty and at times like this that I miss our Girl's Night when you would sleep over. I finally started that book you wanted me to read, I keep hoping it will keep me close to you, but I every time I read it I feel the emptiness inside me grow. I miss you so much, Ziva. It's not the same walking into the bullpen without seeing your beautiful face smiling at me. I know I never told you this, but you stole my heart long ago. I've never felt such love for another human being, in fact, I've never even felt this much for any living being. My heart cries out for you, but in my head I know that you left to make things easier on yourself, so I'm not going to ask you to return like my heart begs me to. Instead I'm going to ask you to stay wherever you are, or find somewhere permanent and stay there. You need something permanent in your life, my dear Ziva. I know my chances of every getting a letter in reply of this from you are slim to none, but that doesn't matter. All that matters now is that you get this letter. I hope this letter keeps me fresh in your mind and I hope you read it when you feel alone. I hope you don't forget me, Ziva, but when I say this or think it, I feel selfish, I feel like I'm holding you back from living your life. So even if you read this once and then burn it or tare it up or do something else to it... I'm just happy I finally was able to tell you how I feel. I love you so much, Ziva, and I'm doing this for you. God knows it hurts to much to be doing this for myself. I'm letting you go, Ziva. I'm accepting the fact that you aren't ever coming back and that I will never see you again... I don't know what else to say now so I guess this is goodbye.
All of my love, Abigail Sciuto.
Abby finished reading the letter and tucked it into an envelope. She put a small piece of paper with her new address on it in the envelope as well as a picture of herself, hoping with all of her might that Ziva wouldn't get rid of the picture if she got rid of the letter.
Abby sealed the envelope shut and grabbed her car keys before she ran to her hearse and prayed to anyone that would listen that it would start while the rain outside of the car poured on.
When it did Abby let out a small cheer before she buckled her seatbelt and headed for Tony's apartment. She arrived in record time, running up the stairs and almost slipping in a puddle of rain water left behind by someone else who had been caught in the rain. Finally she made it to Tony's door.
Abby pounded on the door not letting up until Tony opened the door.
"Abs, it's two in the morning what are you doing here?"
Abby wasted no time on his question as she panted her words.
"Give this to her, if you find her?"
Tony slowly took the envelope out of her hand and nodded.
"Yeah, sure."
Abby breathed a long sigh of relief before she returned to her slightly slowed panting.
"Thank you."
With that Abby turned around and ran back down the stairs, ignoring Tony as he called after her.
When Abby made it home, she stripped off her soaked clothing and ran to her bedroom turning off any lights that had been left on as she did. She practically leaped into her new bed and cocooned herself in her thick blankets while she shivered and closed her eyes tightly as she tried not to think about the letter that would soon be on its way to Ziva. Ziva who was no longer here. Ziva who had left without a goodbye. When Abby finally drifted into a restless sleep, Ziva's name was the last thing on her mind.