This will be very much out of character, and I want to make a story to where I fashion some sense of myself into Bella, so here it goes…
I wasn't the most girlish girl that you'd ever see; actually… I was quit the opposite. I might have been only fifteen, but most girls by that age had already had at least one boyfriend, at least the ones at Fork's High, but I convinced myself I was different. I convinced myself that I wasn't going to get dragged under by the pink lip gloss, and blonde highlights.
Against my father's wishes I had pierced my lip. But oh no, I couldn't succumb to the side of my lip, there was a girl in my geometry class with that already done, and she was fashioned everyday with miniskirts and low cut shirts. Oh no, not me, I got the center of my lip. But not the labret, even that was too much of being a butch for me. I got my actual lip. It was pierced right on the line where my facial skin met my bottom lip's skin. It was perfect.
I gauged my ears; not large, only to a double zero (00 usually labeled as), but it was enough to make most of the girls cringe, and the boys to shutter. I smiled each day I saw another gaping mouth, internally pleased. In a large city it would be nothing out of the ordinary, but here, in Forks, it was something so different and so strange, that it was hard not to stare.
I couldn't say I loved the attention; just the styles I chose. My mother shrieked when she first saw my ear being stretched, saying that it was just a desperate cry for attention, telling me that I had to talk to a professional. I eagerly refused. She asked me each day why I don't wear a little more pink, why I didn't just wear a smidge of mascara, or a bit of blush. I responded with a chortle.
I didn't get along with girls, they're backstabbing ways weren't my own. Only one girl I knew could I actually say I liked completely. And that was my best friend Alice. Still she teased and poked, asked me why I couldn't develop a fashion sense like her. I was content with my t-shirt and jeans. She scolded me mostly everyday about my wardrobe selection; Bella, why are you wearing guy pants? Bella, why are you wearing a shirt that practically comes down to your knees? Bull, I thought, my shirt came mid-thigh. And still I pulled it up now and then, not wanting to look like I had a dress on.
I was mostly friends with guys; which other girls would perceive as being a slut, but they all knew; I was just one of the boys, nothing more. I skinned my knees, and I got dirt on my boots; what can I say? I enjoyed rough housing. I enjoyed Guitar Hero, and Grand Theft Auto, video games were my specialty. Instead of spending my weekends in Port Angeles, or any major shopping city, I spent my weekends perfecting my high score, or jamming out to some heavy rock music.
My three main guy pales though were Edward, Jasper, and Emmett. I took a special liking in Edward; he understood my rebellious ways. He was the one I ran to when the fighting in my house got out of control, and the one I wrestled with when I needed to let my aggression out. He never questioned when my eyes would glisten with pending tears, or when my mood would suddenly become warn out; he knew me too well, knew my dislike for real affection. I was not much of an emotional person.
You might ask why; as I was growing up, every time a single tear squeezed its way out from my eye, my father would scold me, telling me that crying was for wimps; told me that when you cried in front of others, then they all would know your weaknesses. So as I grew, so did the wall that I built around me. My resistance to show emotion troubled Jasper most of all. But I was strong, I would always be strong, well as long as everyone viewed me like that, I was fine. No one had to know the demons that lived inside; I was destine to fight them myself.
I let my father's words sink in and take control. I let them hide me, and take care of me, I let every jest from him, every wrongful word from him, and made a quilt with them; each day and each night, I wrapped myself securely in it until I was alone and able to sink into the depths of disparity. I let his words hit to kill; I let them take small parts of me, until I was a fraction of what I once was. But those words are the ones that stopped my tears from falling where they were most vulnerable; let me stand up for myself; let me let everything everyone else said to hit and deflect until later when I was yet again… alone.
I walked the long stretch of pavement leading me to the lunchroom. As I turned in I saw Edward standing in the lunch line with his back to me. I sniggered silently as I tried to creep up on him. Intentionally I walked on the balls of my feet slowly, until I got close enough. The last couple of feet between us, I leaped, shoving my index fingers into his sides. He leaned to one side, letting a strangled laugh escape him.
I felt my cheeks turn red as I let a burst of laughter escape me, caused by his reaction. Edward was very humorous when caught off guard. He turned around to me, and pushed my shoulder lightly as I continued to smirk.
"You're so stupid," he chuckled, turning back around. I trailed behind him, watching the food he picked.
After he paid and stepped out of line, I quickly grabbed a tatter tot off of his tray and popped it in my mouth, "so what's on today's agenda?" I said over a full mouth.
"Well, we were planning on leaving after lunch, if you'd like to join, it's only two periods we'll be missing," he grinned, and I knew he meant Emmett and Jasper along with him.
I stared at him hesitantly, cutting wasn't really my thing ever since I was suspended for it in freshman year. He saw the look I gave him and instantly his face crumbled with mock pain, "Oh, come on Bellaaaaaa," he stretched my name out, and my heart skipped a beat, "Just this once, we'll play guitar hero and I'll let you beat me," he smirked at his last suggestion.
I sighed, "Fine, but God knows that you'd never willingly loose to me. I just got some mad game," I faked arrogance as I rubbed my nails to the front of my shirt.
- - - - - - - - - -
I put my hands in my over sized men's pant's pockets, slumping low as we walked to his car. I slid into the front seat; that becoming my rightful place as Edward's "co-driver". Emmett and Jasper slide in the back, and faster then you would have guessed Edward swept his car out of his parking spot and sped off with talent.
"So, Bella, what song are you gonna play me at?" he asked grinning again.
I thought and then smirked, "The Reaper," even Emmett, who was master at the game hadn't been able to finish that song.
Edward's eyes went wide for a quick second and then he said with his trademarked half smile, "You're on."
We sped faster towards the direction of the mansion.
- - - - - - - - - - -
I dropped my book bag by the front door, and let my hood down; my long hair came spiraling out. I kept it long; I hadn't cut it, except to get a trim, in years. I pulled the hair band out of my hair, shaking my hair out. I never left my hair down unless I was somewhere comfortable; school not being one of those places.
"Race ya' up the steps," Edward challenged.
"That's just so child-" I pushed my hand hard against his chest to get him out of the way. I was taking two steps at a time when I heard him thudding up after me. Only one and a half more flights to go, you can do it…
I felt him grab at my ankle forcing me to fall forward. I laughed as I twisted around to look down at him. From the force of my fall he had also taken a tumble. His hand was still securely on my leg, his tongue out in concentration and his brow was furrowed as he attempted to crawl his way up viciously.
As he attempted to crawl over me I felt my heard flutter, but I quickly pushed it out of the way as I grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him back down. I twisted back around and attempted to scramble up the steps. He grabbed my hips and pulled me behind him, causing me to fuse. I jumped on his back, attempting to jump over him. My arms were secure around his neck, with my legs wrapped around his waist. Yeah, you might say it wasn't safe rough housing on the steps, but it was the heat of the moment, who cares? Certainly not us.
Losing my balance on him, as he lifted his arm, my body ended up getting pulled down by gravity, forcing me to hang under him now. He looked at me, momentary shocked at our position. Be breathed heavily, and I felt my breathing start to stutter. He smirked at me, right before he started to inch his face closer to mine…
"What's going on up there, lovebirds?" Emmett bellowed, and I heard Jasper howling with laughter. My face, as I could feel it, was turning the deepest red imaginable.
But Edward was composed as I lost my grip on him, "Nothing," he said standing up, stepping over me. "We were racing up the stairs." then he grinned at me, "And I won," his eyes sparkled with amusement.
I grunted as I scrambled to my feet, just before he darted towards the next stair case. There was no way I was winning this.
I had the guitar shaped control pressed against my chest as I stuck my tongue out with determination. Me and Edward pressed at the keys like madmen. The incisive clicking was starting to make me loose my mind. I heard Emmett's intentional forced sigh as he hung upside down on Edward's couch.
"Pleasssssssse, stop playing," he squeezed his eyes shut.
Jasper was lounging in the small chair in the corner looking at a music magazine, feigning interest. "No," I said.
"And why not?" Emmett asked sitting upright as I felt the motion cause friction, causing discomfort to my subtle position.
"Because…" I paused staring intently at the T.V. screen, "I... have… to… beat… him." I felt my eyebrows knit together.
"Why? He's a boy, boy's always dominate at video games." I heard the actual curiosity in his voice, but then he said the wrong thing. "Oh wait," his voice lit up, "But you are a boy," even I felt Edward go stiff. My hands stopped moving as I became mortified. I dropped the guitar.
"What?" I asked with venom, turning towards him, narrowing my eyes.
"You heard me," he chortled, "You're a boy." It was simple, but it was demeaning for any girl. "You're an emo boy," that lit the match under my ass.
"No I'm not!" I screeched, going for his throat. But he easily side stepped me.
He laughed even harder, "You know what people should call you?" he asked, eyes bright with amusement.
I didn't answer, but he just waited for me to reply, so I said exasperated, "What?" I heard the ice in my own voice.
"Tom Boy Bella!" his laugh became even more obnoxious as he squeezed his eyes shut, almost crying from the supposed hysteria.
I went after him, and pretty soon Jasper joined in the chant. What was I supposed to do? Go after two boys that were bigger then me? But I was fuming, I had to do something to get them to shut up. Get them to stop calling me that ridiculous name. And the worse part was; Edward joined in.
I was turned from them all now, my back facing them as I took deep steadying breaths. Then I turned back around fire in my eyes. "I. Am not. A boy," I took hold of the edge of my shirt; anything but gingerly. I pulled it up with harshness, revealing my own feminine, petite, hard-to-believe body to them. I was going to prove that I was anything but a boy, and this seemed the only way. I saw all of their eyes widen, as they slowly drifted downward. All three of their jaws became slack.
I pulled my shirt back down hastily. "What am I?" I asked Emmett in a casual tone.
"A-a girl," he stuttered.
What? It wasn't like I pulled my bra up with it.
Little bit of romance, little bit of fluff, little bit of humor, a little bit of tragedy. All in all I think its fine. Review? :]