A/n: Thanks to my beta lozipozivanillabean! *Not yet edited.

Written for the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition round 12 prompts #5,6 and 9, the Sherlock Competition part 1 prompt 15, the OTP Boot Camp Challenge prompt #19 (kindly), and the Setting Boot Camp prompt #35 (locks).

The Best Snog

"Admit it Granger, I'm the best snog you've ever had."

"Seriously, we're debating this again? Honestly Malfoy, I regret ever muttering that. You're never going to let it go, are you?"

"No, probably not. I hold it over Weasley's head every chance I get."

"Oh, that I know. Honestly Malfoy you have the biggest superiority complex I've ever seen. You're worse than your father used to be."

"My father took a trip to Azkaban where he's going to rot. He's not quite the man he used to be by any means, and thank Merlin for that."

She grinned, fingering his fine locks of hair. "I imagine that you don't feel too sorry about that. From what you've told me, you don't miss him one bit."

"In the end Granger, I couldn't miss him. He was becoming simply too hard for me. I thought I always wanted to be just like my father, until one day I woke up and realized who my father really was."

"Yeah, reality's a bitch." His eyebrows shot up at that, looking over at the vixen lounging on his couch. She rarely swore, but when she did it was usually to grab his attention. That, or she was really, really mad. And Hermione was in too good of a mood at the moment for him to think that she was actually mad at him.

"Cursing tonight are we?"

"Maybe just a little."

If someone walked in on the couple a year ago this probably would've seemed like the most ridiculous situation they could ever happen across. But in the last six months since he grew some balls and asked her out, the couple had become widely known. Who wouldn't know about such a relationship? A war heroine and a rich renounced Death Eater? It was the headline in papers for days, which really annoyed Hermione. She thought there were much more important issues to be broadcasting about than something minimal like this. But no one ever listened to her about things like this.

Actually, plenty of people listen to her, but that's a different story. Tonight she had Draco's full attention because he was curious about what she had to say.

"So, we've been dating for a while now Draco…"

"Yes bookworm?"

"And I was just wondering…"

He rolled his eyes. "Spit it out Granger, you don't have to dance around the bush. What are you wondering about exactly?"

"Well, see, I've mistakenly told you that you are the best snog I've ever had, but you've never once even hinted at who yours is. So, would you kindly share?"

Draco almost choked on his drink, sputtering as he set it down. "A little warning that you're going to ask questions like that would be nice."

"What are you talking about? It's a simple question, with a simple answer. Don't make this harder than it is. Just tell me who the best snog of your life was."

"And if I don't?"

"Then you're a prick."

He chuckled, rubbing her thigh. Her feet sat on the other side of him, his girlfriend draped out across him. "I believe I've been one of those in your book for years, darling. Telling you my favourite kissing partner won't change that."

"Maybe it would, you never know."

"Oh, but I do know. You call me a prick at least once an hour. That's never going to change."

Hermione pouted, smacking him on the arm. "Fine, whatever. Be a prick then and have your secrets."

"See? You've already used that term again."

"Well then you were right Draco," she said, sitting forward to peck him on the lips. "I guess some things will never change."

After their conversation, Hermione made it her goal to discover who Draco's favorite snog was. She decided it had to be some terribly juicy story if he was withholding information like this. After all, half the school knew all about his flings before they were even over. He'd obviously kept this one secret for a reason, and she decided to use her nosy ways to help her figure out why.

So one day, she borrowed Ginny to help her plot her tactics.

"Hermione, you're a girl. Use your assets!"

She wrinkled up her nose. "No Gin, I think I'll pass. We're not really at that stage in our relationship yet."

"But you've been dating for half a year!"

"So what? Does that mean you and Harry- actually, never mind. I won't even finish that sentence."

She grinned like a vixen. "It's probably better that you don't."

"Honestly Ginny, I think I'm going to have to tickle the answer out of him- or dye his bloody hair. He's more in love with his hair than I am with mine!"

"I'm in love with his hair Hermione. He's got those beautiful golden locks-"

"It's really weird to hear you talking about my boyfriend like you actually like him," she remarked, crossing her arms. "Most of the time I think all of you just hate him."

"Harry and Ron certainly do. He wasn't their first choice for you."

"I never realised my friends got to decide who was worthy of being in a relationship with me."

Ginny only grinned. "Well, you know them. It's even harder on Ron since you're his ex… and now you're parading around with Malfoy all the time. I think it's just a little hard for him to stomach."

"Yeah, probably." She sighed, running her fingers through tangled hair. "Well Ginny, what other options do I have besides hair dye spells or a tickling charm? Aside from those two things, Draco's pretty much immune to anything since his time as a worker for Voldemort. It's almost impossible to make him crack."

"I believe it. Well, if nothing else you can always tickle him."

"That was kind of a joke."

"Oh, well. I don't really know any of his weaknesses Hermione… other than ferrets."

A light bulb seemed to go off in her head just then, and a smile crept across her face. "Ginny… that's it."

"What's it?"

"I think you just solved my problem!"

"Oh Merlin, Hermione, the ferret thing? Now that was a joke. I didn't seriously want you to take me up on it! What are you even thinking of?"

"Oh… nothing. I'm sure you'll hear all about it soon."

"You're going to scare him or something, aren't you?"

"Well," she replied, rubbing her jaw, "not entirely."

Draco walked into his bedroom two days later expecting it to be the same as always. Since he shared a common room with Hermione as head students, he occasionally found her in there and never gave it much thought. They were dating, and with the holidays just around the corner he knew she'd been in there more than once searching for a present.

However, he didn't quite expect to find this when he stepped into his room.

It was like ferret world blew up, and decided to take refuge in his bedroom. He froze at the door, his mind spinning in circles. It was like his worst fear come true.

Ever since he spent a few minutes as a ferret, he'd grown truly afraid of those creatures- and felt terrified for them. It was rather alarming to be that small and helpless. But right now all he could focus on was how much his skin was crawling. He was not prepared to step into that.

The very idea of going through time as a ferret again made him sick. Nope, never again, and certainly not if it involved him being tossed about in the air.

Someone pushed on his back and he stumbled into the room. Letting out a loud yelp he landed on his feet, whirling around. Oh, he should've known.

"Quick- hide!" she cried out, laughing as she spoke. He crossed his arms, glaring at her.

Oh, she was so going toget it.

"You think this is funny Granger?!" he snapped, shying away from the nearest ferret. "Well, it's not!"

"Actually Draco, it's pretty hilarious."

"Confronting a person with one of their biggest fears is not hilarious."

"But it is. I'll make them go away if you tell me who your best snog was."

"Hermione… you're threatening me with my biggest fear for the sake of learning a secret? Well, that's very Slytherin of you."

She was still attempting not to laugh at him. "Right… yes."

"What?"

She shook her head, composing herself. "Tell me darling, or maybe they'll start closing in on you."

"They're animals, you can't just make them do whatever you want."

"Are you sure about that?" she asked, arching an eyebrow.

"I think that one just tried to jump on me," he suddenly said, alarm creeping into his voice as he eyed the nearest ferret. Hermione couldn't take it anymore and burst out laughing, crumbling onto the floor. He stood and glared at her until she finally managed to roll over.

"I can't believe you're so scared of them!" she cried, holding her sides. "Have you even looked at them Draco?"

"I'm not taking a step closer to any one of them. Seriously, get them out of here."

She clutched her sides, managing to stand up. Still chuckling on and off, she stepped over to the nearest ferret, grabbed it and threw it at him.

"You bi-" he paused mid-sentence as he caught the animal. "This… this is stuffed."

"It's a toy," she grinned, bursting out laughing again. "You're afraid of a toy!"

"Hey they looked life-like," he defended, tossing the item away from him. "Don't blame me. I'm seriously freaked out by these things."

"A bad hair day freaks you out," she reminds with a shake of her head. Pulling out her wand she vanished every single stuffed animal in the room, wiping a tear from her eye. "Oh, I may not have gotten my answer but the look on your face was positively priceless!"

"That was evil, and you know it," he pouted.

"Yes, evil and totally worth it!" She skipped past him to his bed, flopping down on the mattress. "Oh, that just made my whole week!"

"I'm so glad I was able to help make your whole week that much better," he muttered, coming to sit beside her. "I'm going to remember this the next time you get on my nerves Hermione."

"Oh, I don't doubt it." She sighed contently, closing her eyes. "It doesn't matter though. It's worth whatever plan you come up with now."

"Oh really?"

"Really." They sat in silence for several minutes, both lost in their own thoughts. "I never realised how afraid of ferrets you are, Draco," she said at length.

"Yeah, I noticed. I guess people overlook and miss things when they fall in love too quickly."

She rolled her eyes, sitting up. "We didn't have to fall in love, we could've climbed down slowly. Our emotions didn't let us take the scenic route. I'm surprised sometimes when I think back to how quickly I fell for you."

"So am I. Do you think things would've been different if we didn't start our relationship out with an unexpected bout of snogging?"

"Well, it might not have startled Britain quite so much. I still can't believe your friend Pansy saw us and blabbed to the press."

"Yeah… that's Pansy for you."

"And even that kiss, the one that started this entire relationship, wasn't enough to be your favourite snog? Was it even in your top five?"

"You're never going to drop this topic are you?"

She shook her head playfully. "Nope, not until you tell me. I am going to get an answer."

"Determined I see."

"Always. So come off it Draco, who was the best snog of your life?"

He smirked, leaning over to her. He brushed her hair back, breathing into her ear, and spoke in a soft voice. "You."

Just as soon as the word escaped his lips he was up off the bed, bolting from the room like a child on Christmas morning. And Hermione sat in shock for several seconds, processing what he just said.

"Really?! You get back here Draco Malfoy! Now I want to know why."

~FIN~

A/n: Short and fluffy story about my OTP. Hope you enjoyed. Shoot a review this way please!