Disclaimer: Not mine
Notes: Written for prfic100 (the theme is #77, Devotion). Spoilers for up to 'Future Unknown'
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I'm not sure if I'll be able to help. But after what happened, I have to at least try.There aren't many certain things in my life (especially now), but there's always been an exception to that rule: Katie. She understood, she cared, she held me-- no matter what. I've never asked why (I was almost afraid that if I did, I'd ruin it somehow and then I'd be alone again), but I certainly appreciate it. It's... a nice feeling, knowing someone finally cares about you, after spending a lifetime thinking otherwise. I doubted she'd ever need it, but sometimes I would tell myself that I'd find a way to return the favor one day. That I'd be there for her if she needed me.
And then when it actually happened, when she needed me more than anything... I couldn't.
If I had said anything else it would've been a lie, but that didn't ease the guilt when the hurt she felt at that washed over me. But that was nothing compared to everything else I could feel coming from her. Like the loneliness. And the fear.
And the betrayal.
Katie pulled through for us at the end. I should've known, too: even at her lowest, she'll do anything to help her friends. She's not me, after all. And she feels better-- I can tell. I like to think that's because I've been with her lately, doing whatever I think will keep her spirits up... even though I know better.
I'm going to keep trying, though. I'll stay devoted to her as long as we're here, as long as she's away from her family... and when we finally do return to 3000, if her future has changed, I'll be there for her too. It won't be like last time.
Because now I know that even Katie needs something certain in her life.