ANs:
-Thanks
to Boleyn and Elainhe, my wonderbetas, for dealing with
my bitching and whining with this fic in the last two days, lol.
-Was in a bit of a mood when I wrote this, so I'm still not sure
if I like it, but here it is anyway.
Disclaimer: Not mine, just borrowing.
Lying
on a Fault Line
The rays of the early-morning New York sun beam in through his bedroom window, stirring Danny awake. Blinking a few times to adjust to the light, his eyes fall on dark brown curls in his bed beside him. Slowly rolling over, he wraps one arm around her waist, careful not to wake her. He closes his eyes and takes a moment to just enjoy having her there with him. He still can't believe it has already been a week since the case that nearly took her from him; it feels like just yesterday. He still has not been able to purge the memories of that day that force themselves to play over and over again in his mind.
--
Danny took off his glasses, wiping the sweat from his brow as he examined the situation in front of him: a young woman murdered, crime scene cleaned to immaculate levels. This is just going to be one of those cases, he thought, frustrated. Running footsteps behind him caught his attention. Turning around, he saw Hawkes hurrying towards him; the look on his face was sheer panic.
"Danny," Hawkes panted, "Stella just called. There was a bombing downtown, at the site where Mac, Flack, and Lindsay were. We have to get down there to help, this scene is going to be reassigned."
But Danny hadn't heard anything after Hawkes had said Lindsay's name. He felt his heart stop, his breathing cease. It wasn't possible, couldn't be possible. Lindsay was in a bombing? Images of the past few months raced through his mind: the beginning, when she took him to see Mac at the Jazz bar, their first kiss at the harbour, the first night she had stayed over at his place… This isn't happening, he told himself.
"Danny? Danny!" yelled Hawkes, grabbing Danny by the arm and yanking him forward. "We have to go!"
"Right, yeah, you drive," he stammered, zoning back in. They hadn't told anyone in the lab yet that they were dating, opting instead to keep it quiet until they figured it themselves. He hastily packed up his kit, not bothering to make sure everything was put back properly, and took off after Hawkes.
--
He smiles as Lindsay rolls over, a grin across her face, her eyes still closed. "Morning," she mumbles, snuggling into him.
"It's too early for you to be awake," he tells her, placing a soft kiss on her forehead.
She opens one eye, just a crack, her grin widening. "Too happy here to sleep." She turns back around, pressing her back into his chest. He gives her a light squeeze. He can only see a bit of her face. His eyes fall on the light pink scar still slightly evident on her forehead. It's faded significantly in the last week, but still serves as a constant reminder.
--
The car ride to the scene took ages. Danny swore at every red light, every pedestrian, every car that stood between him and Lindsay. He knew deep downthat it was probably a good thing he wasn't driving – he would have left a warpath in his wake. The ring of Hawkes' cell phone caught his attention; he tried to listen to the voice on the other end as it spoke. He could make out that it was Stella, but couldn't hear what she was saying.
"What is it? What's she telling you? Is Lindsay okay? Was she inside?"
Hawkes held up his hand to silence Danny, only aggravating him further.
"Dammit Hawkes, what's going on! Is she okay!" he yelled, as Hawkes snapped his phone shut.
"Yes, Lindsay's fine," replied Hawkes, swerving around a turning car. "She had gone back to her truck to get something when Mac and Flack found the bomb. It detonated before they could get out though; they're still searching for them. Mac's not answering his phone."
A swarm of emotions flowed through Danny. On the one hand, words could not describe the relief he felt, knowing that Lindsay was alright, was safe. But on the other hand, the same could not be said for Mac, the boss who cared enough to give him a chance, and Flack, a loyal friend who was practically his brother.
Both men gasped as the building came into view -what was left of it, anyway.
--
Lindsay turns her head, a look of concern spreading across her face. "Danny, what's wrong?"
Danny gives her a weak smile. "Nothing," he replies, his tone less reassuring than he had hoped.
Rolling over completely, she places her hand on his arm, looking at him intently. "Come on, you should know by now that you can't lie worth a damn; what's the matter?"
Danny sighs. He knows trying to slip anything by her is impossible, she picks up on everything.
He looks into her eyes; she's searching his face in hopes of an answer. He pulls her closer so that she can't see his face; it's easier for him this way.
"It's just…" he starts. He knows what he wants to say, but is unsure of how exactly to say it. "I'm just remembering that day. I can't get it out of my mind. Part of me still can't believe you're still here. In the last few weeks, I've lost a brother and I've lost a friend. When Hawkes told me there was a bombing at the scene you were at, I couldn't imagine how I could possibly get by if I lost my girlfriend too." Strangely, telling her that doesn't make him feel any better. "I can't even begin to describe the relief that washed over me as I saw you standing there talking to Stella."
--
Danny was out of the car and running towards Lindsay before Hawkes had fully parked. He saw nothing but her ahead of him. As he approached, all he could muster was a flimsy, "Are you alright?" before being whisked off into the building in search of Mac and Flack.
He kept trying to go back to her, but Hawkes pushed him forward. "Look Danny," Hawkes said, staring intently at Danny. "I know you want to be there for Lindsay, but the EMTs are going to take care of her."
"But—" Danny tried to interrupt, but Hawkes cut him off.
"Danny, she's going to be fine. Right now, the priority is finding Mac and Flack." Hawkes forced Danny to look at him; Danny knew he was right. Giving one last look over his shoulder at Lindsay, who was being walked over to an ambulance, he forced his attention in front of him.
"Lindsay's kit…" he noted, picking it up.
--
Lindsay pulled her head back to look at Danny, exactly what he was hoping she wouldn't do. His composure threatened to befall him.
"Danny," she said, her voice quiet but firm, "It's been said that right before you think you're going to die, three questions enter your mind. That day, when that bomb went off and the explosion hit me like a brick wall, those three questions ran through my mind."
All Danny could do was look at her, hoping she would continue. He nodded, prodding her forward.
"The first, Am I happy with how I've lived my life? Coming to New York from Bozeman was probably the biggest, toughest, most life-changing decision I've made in my life. But there isn't a part of me that regrets it. Was I happy with the way I had chosen to live my life? A few months ago, the answer would have been no. That changed the day you kissed me on that harbour."
--
The view in front of Danny made him stop dead in his tracks. The inside of the building was completely in shambles. Lindsay was nearly caught in this, he thought, looking around with his flashlight for any sign of life. He couldn't help but wonder if she was alright outside – what if there were more injuries besides just the scratch on her head? Broken ribs or internal bleeding? Between the damage on the inside and the chaos on the outside, Danny doubted if anyone could get out of this mess with just a shallow cut.
He thought for a moment about going out to check on her – he had to know if she was alright, she had to be alright. Just as he started to turn around, banging noises caught his attention. Following the noise, he located Mac and a survivor. Mac appeared to be alright, though he wasted no time in relaying that Flack was seriously hurt.
And to think Lindsay was almost right there, Danny thought, as he opened his phone to dial for help.
--
Danny draws a breath to speak, but Lindsay stops him. "No, let me finish," she says.
"The second question was How do I want to be remembered? What immediately came into my head was that I want to be remembered as someone loyal, loving, thoughtful, and dedicated, and I mean that in all aspects of my life. Friends, Work, Family, and you."
Danny smiles, but doesn't say anything. She's definitely hit that one right on, though – that's exactly the kind of person she is, and how he will always think of her. Different contexts for the different aspects of her life, but all of them ring clear and true. He draws a breath as she continues to the third question.
"Lastly, Who will I miss? Before last week, Danny, I wasn't really sure what we were doing here, what exactly this was, or what it meant, or where it was going. But as that bomb blasted me backwards, yours was the only face I saw, clear as anything. I felt like I could reach out and touch you. I never thought I could care about someone as much as I do for you, Danny, and that day made me realize it. As strange as it sounds, I'm glad that it happened. I don't think I would have realized it otherwise."
--
Once clear of the building, Danny immediately went in search of the ambulance that was caring for Lindsay. Looking around frantically, he caught a glimpse of her, sitting on the back of the ambulance, looking at the ground. As if on cue, she looked up at him as he started towards her. She stood up and ran into his arms, nearly knocking him over.
He wrapped his arms tightly around her as he regained his balance, her familiar scent captivating him. There were so many things he wanted to tell her, had been waiting to tell her, and he had nearly lost that chance. He felt her body shake slightly as the day finally broke her composure. He closed his eyes and held her as if it were the last time he ever would. He wasn't about to let go. Not now, not ever.
--
Danny looks at her, almost in disbelief. Not only had the event been a huge realization for him, but for her as well. He smiles, running a hand through her hair. "I can't imagine what I would have done without you," he whispers.
She reaches for his hand, and taking it in hers, kisses it lightly.
A strange, new feeling washes over Danny. He feels as though his heart could burst right out of his chest. His body tingles, his thoughts are scrambled. All he sees, knows, feels, in that moment, is her. She's here, she's hasn't left me, and is not going to leave me.
She looks into his eyes in a way that no one else can, a way that makes him feel like a giddy schoolboy who has just been given a mound of candy. Her look makes him feel vulnerable, exposed, but not in a way that scares him, but rather, in a way that is honest and…
"Danny," she says, "it's okay to feel it. I feel the same way." She leans up to him, meeting his lips with hers. But this kiss is different than others in the past – this one carries a fuller, deeper meaning. And for the first time in his life, he finally understands it. And suddenly, it all makes sense.
Love.