I changed one detail. At Shelly's, Veronica was only with Duncan. This takes place probably during season one. Or after, but without the bus crash and all.
Cassidy's memory was erased at this precise moment. The shock of the view made him completely forgot about what he was doing here on the threshold of the bedroom and what he had wanted to ask Dick. Shit, I just caught my older brother jacking off, didn't I ?
But actually, what did he catch ? Dick was under his covers, he couldn't see much -thank god !-, the guy's uneven breathing was the only indication. Oh, and also the movie. Which was the origin of Cassidy's greatest shock. It wasn't porn, probably just a regular movie's sexy scene. But a gay one. "Huh ?"
Oops ! was the only thing that came to his mind when Dick jumped and saw him. On his face, the blush never appeared. But his eye quickly expressed a few ranges of emotions. First, that he was surprised and startled when he jumped, then confusion, then anger, and something close to fury.
When he jumped out of bed, Cassidy wondered why he even registered the fact that Dick had boxers on, and that he had apparently killed the mood. The angry guy stomped through his bedroom straight for him and gripped his collar, shoving him on the wall behind him.
He hadn't moved, what would have been the point ? He was smaller in shape and height than his brother… and if he had run, it would have had been worst. He knew, somehow, that Dick felt bad. He'd just found out one big secret, didn't he ? And telling him he wouldn't tell anyone wouldn't do the trick.
What then ? Getting pummelled ? His brain worked faster than his own will : in an attempt to convince his brother that his secret was safe, he spilled his own biggest secret, his own biggest shame. He yelled his confession at Dick's face, his voice trembling in anticipation of the coming blow he hoped to shield. "I got raped !"
It somehow worked. Dick's fist froze in mid air. But Cassidy wondered what would be the price of such a delay. He was still shaky with fear. Dick had never hit him, and he was sure that if he did now, it would be dead painful. Dick dropped his raised arm, but gripped his shirt harder. "Shut up, you fag ! You sound like Veronica Mars."
Cassidy swallowed, the urge to grin at his brother's suggestion that he was gay never came to him. He shuddered, realizing he was about to face his greatest nightmare. The worst times of his past. He looked down, fighting the tears that threatened to fill his eyes. "I wish it was by her." It didn't sound as sarcastic as he had wanted to, it was just sad.
Dick's heart sank. He'd seen his brother cry, and felt guilty enough to know often it has been his fault, but now he wasn't. He was fighting it, and his whole body language made it clear for Dick that his pain was huge, and searing. "What the fuck, you serious ?"
When Cassidy rose his eyes to look into his, Dick saw him wince to fight the tears again, and felt a hole burning in his chest. His jaw dropped as he felt at a loss for what to do. He reached for him and held the smaller body into his embrace.
Cassidy cried, babbled, told everything. His voice died when he described the fear that twisted his guts every time he had to go there. His strength coming from Dick's arms, squeezing harder every time he was fighting the urge to run form the gun chest and launch a deadly army after his brother's molester.
Dick was sat, leg crossed, he didn't care about the pain in his ankles, caused by the weight of Cassidy, whom he had pulled on his lap. When he his brother's voice died for the last time, his horror tale finished, he rocked him silently back and forth, his heart aching. He couldn't come close to imagine what he had had to live through.
When Cassidy looked up, he saw that Dick had cried a little too. "I'm so scared." Dick clenched his jaws, trying to smile to show him his anger wasn't toward him. "I'm here. Now, I know." That bastard's gonna pay. Cassidy leaned back in his embrace and whipped a lonely tear. He enjoyed that solemn peaceful moment of closeness with Dick.
The latter rubbed his brother's arm and sighed. "Life's a kick, isn't it ?" Cassidy chuckled sadly. With the moment of rest, the surroundings came back to their perceptions, and Dick heard the movie continuing to play in his room. People were chatting happily on the screen.
He knew Cassidy knew. He didn't know if he wanted him to know, because he was scared, unsure yet what it meant to him. "Beav, please don't tell anyone."
"Ok." Cassidy felt slightly hurt that Dick thought he could get pleasure out of exposing him. But he figured Dick didn't think that, he'd just asked out of fear. Silence came back again in the corridor. Cassidy climbed off of Dick's lap and sat before him, like a mirror reflection. "I used to hate when you called me Beav."
"I'll stop." "Don't." Dick looked up, puzzled. Cassidy shrugged. "I'm no Beaver. But you're Dick. I'm Beav. Sometime you say 'my Beav'. It makes
me close to you." A blush colored his cheeks for a second as he looked down. "It's stupid." He almost squealed when Dick pulled him violently against him once more and held him tight. "I love you, my stupid blood." He breathed out, gripping hard.
Cassidy smiled, and bathed in that feeling. Having a brother had its downsides, but had great upsides. Such as this moment. He reached for the wall behind Dick not to fall over from his unsteady position and croaked regretfully. "Can't breathe !" Dick let go. "Sorry."
Cassidy sat back and smiled at his brother. Damn he loved him too sometimes. He wasn't the jackass he shown everyone. He was a great guy. It was a shame that Dick thought being nice was uncool. Really. He chuckled, thinking of how tight he'd held him. "I thought queers weren't supposed to be manly..."
Dick's face shown shock by the instant, Cassidy answered with a grin. The blond one shook his head, sniggering. Well, he got me there. He smiled. "Thanks." Cassidy frowned. "Why ?" "You said I was manly. Which... you're not." His mouth dropped open at Dick's grin, but he couldn't help laughing. "I'm covering for ya !!" Dick punched his arm playfully, careful not to hurt him, like he'd never really been. "That's my Beav." Cassidy perked up and smiled. "See. I dig that."
Dick got up, holding out his hand for him. "Aahh... Come here, little bro. Let's play some manly game." Cassidy took the offered hand and rose, grinning. "Rayman ?" "You're fucking kidding me ?" Cassidy snickered, hairquoting. "Teasing. … I'd say." Dick smirked at him. "Shut up."
Cassidy shrugged. "Love you too." He looked around while Dick put on a shirt and slipped his bare legs under the sheets. His eyes settled on the tv while Dick hesitated between several xbox games. "Hey, that's the girl from-…" "NCIS, yeah."
Dick waved at the screen. "She's hot, huh ?" Cassidy raised a brow, silent. By brother is an odd gay… "I miss Agent Todd." All Over The Guy, read the dvd box. "Me too." Cassidy looked up and tapped on one of the two game boxes Dick held out to him. It was odd, Dick giving him the final choice.
While they played in silence, he wondered if it was the dawn of a new era. In which they would stop fighting and Dick would be nicer, with everyone. He processed the fact that he was in Dick's bedroom, casually sitting on his bed. It could appear common, if you didn't leave here.
But Dick's room had always been a very restricted area, which meant 'Logan, Luke and Casey only'. Cassidy would have had trouble walking for an entire week if he'd dared entering. And now… Dick had invited him in, to play… his xbox. They used to play in the hi-fi room, because it had a bigger screen. But somehow, he enjoyed being here much much better.
Cassidy made a daring turn with his car and risked a question. "So… Does someone know ? Does Logan- ..?" "No !" Gasped Dick. "No no no no no." He was staring at the screen, eyes wide in horror as he imagined his bff's reaction. Cassidy pursed his lips and didn't push further. He wondered if his intuition was right about Logan, but his brother's face was enough for now. Dick wasn't the one to open up like that. He knew he had to let him come. He would. He always did. That wasn't something too many people knew about The Casablancas Brothers. Again, Logan knew.
"What about you, little bro ? Someone on your mind ? Boy or girl." He felt the blush coming. "Ah, girl actually. And Yeah. Someone." He knew, without peeking, Dick was glowing with curiosity and excitement. He could be so childish sometimes. "Come on, spill ! Who's she ?" "Nah… you're gonna mock me. … Or her."
Facing the truth in Cassidy's words, Dick said nothing, feeling guilty beyond words. When he opened his mouth to apologise, Cassidy spoke. "There's that girl, I don't think you know her, though... She's with me in my advanced math class. She's good with computers. I saw her with Veronica once or twice." He watched Dick's frown and tried to enlighten him. "She's got black hair with blue strikes in it ?" He said, with a cocked eyebrow.
Dick's reaction surprised him. Dick laughed, realisation dawning on him. "Oh ! Beetle girl ! Chick from Ghost world. That's her, right ?" Cassidy felt a slight wave of panic hitting him. What would Dick do with that info ? He chuckled anyway, because the whole situation was funny. He was having a girly talk with his apparently gay brother who used to call him a faggot every day ending with 'day'.
"Don't be mean." Dick shook his head. He wasn't. He just found the chick funny with all the colors in her life. "What's up with the green car anyway ?" His brother shrugged. "Dunno. It's cool." There was another silence. A comfortable one. Cassidy peeked to his left and saw Dick bitting his tongue, focused on the game, his fingers almost angry on the keys.
He went back to the screen, just in time to avoid a wall and see he was the last one on the race. "You should talk to her. I hear it works." Cassidy pressed his lips in a fine line. He knew that. But easier said than done. The girl was intimidating. And the more he thought about it the more she was. "Yeah… you should know." It was a little mean, but Dick didn't take it that way. Talking to a girl and coming out to your bff wasn't similar stuff, so imagine it to your whole friends ? And family ? Yeah, so dad will bash my head with a bat or something. From their points of view, both projects seemed simply unattainable. "Right."
Cassidy sighed and they started a new race. This time he wasn't going to be last. He usually ranked either first or second with Dick, the competition being just between the two of them. The only competition, in his mind, he could win against Dick. A slight smile blossomed on his lips when he realized that he wouldn't be a threat with the girls, now. The smile faded as he told himself he was his own threat. Girls liked guys that were able to get a coherent sentence out better, somehow… he usually stuttered like crazy when he talk to girls. Not really with Mac, but he was sure, at the moment he'd offer her a coffee or something, it would be worse than ever.
"Beav ?" Cassidy blinked. Snapping back to reality. "Hm ?" Dick let a beat past, not sure he was doing it right. "You should report it." The silence fell over them again. It stretched and Dick was afraid that Cassidy had closed to him for good. The latter watched his car crash and sighed. "I know." He let out.
"I just... can't... face it, you know ?" Dick was looking at him with concern and the sweetest feeling of safety washed over the younger one. Dick spoke again. "Can I like... do something ?" Cassidy bit his lip. "Be there ?" Dick nodded seriously. "Will do, bro."
He took a deep breath and expelled it. "Then I'll go see Lamb. So, he can tell me to go see the wizard." Dick's expression darkened. "I'll be there. We'll see if the bird sings..." Seeing the thankfulness in Cassidy's eyes, he wrapped an arm around his shoulders.
"Wanna do something tomorrow ?" Tomorrow. The day he dreaded… Lamb and confessions. "I'll ditch the guys… I want to do something with you." Cassidy nodded, thankful beyond words for his support. "I always wanted to learn how to surf." He watched Dick's bright happy smile. Happy to share something with him. "We'll do that, then."