They Loved Her.
By Lily (lily_livered@hotmail.com)
Spike.
I never really believed it would happen. I always thought we'd come through,
save the day and all that. And we did.
But I never thought she'd die.
Buffy's foiled my plans hundreds of bloody times, she's killed The _Master_
for fuck's sake. She managed to defeat the man she loved -- sending him to hell
in the process -- which I think she could've done even without me helping
her, and she's stopped the end of the world so many times now that she can get
it done and still be home in time for dinner. She only died that once, too, and
she bounced back from that fairly quickly.
So when I saw her body... I figured that after a couple of days in bed she'd be
fit as a fiddle. Obviously, I was very wrong. You might call it stupid, too -
I call it wishful, hopeful fucking thinking.
'Oh, but you're in love with her', you're thinking. No shit Sherlock, of course
I loved her. The way I felt - FEEL - about her... It reminds me of how it feels
to walk in the sun, all warm and safe and content.
But love wasn't the only reason I wanted her to open her stupid Slayer eyes and
keep on living.
Sure, there were those little things that would occur to all of us later - like
what was going to happen to Dawn now, or what we were going to do with their
house (and the fucking morgatage). But the second most important thing after love
was this: Who was going to save the world now?
Because, don't get me wrong, even though those Scooby Snacks always did their parts,
Buffy was the actual apocolypse averter. She pulled them together and gave them the
plans and had the balls to stand up to the big bad all on her lonesome - even when
it was a hell god who could blow us all from here to hell and back, all with just
a batt of her skanky, fake, eyelashes.
Buffy was the glue, the rope, the heart, the compass... She held them (us) together,
loved them (us..?), and told us where to go and what to do when we got there. And I
think that without her, we're all fucking dead.
And I think I'm scared.