Oh, shitty fucking shit! I stop in my tracks, halfway up the stairs to my new school. I can't believe my first day of school starts out like this. I literally just started my period, and no tampons. Fuck. What a nice way to introduce myself! Hi! I'm Isabella. I'm the new girl; would you happen to have a tampon? Oh, I can see it now. Damn, fuck, shitty shit. Fuck it; I'm going the toilet paper route. Hopefully I can find a bathroom before the blood finds the outside of my pants.
I keep walking up the stairs, breathless at the top. I need to exercise; I can't be out of breath everyday walking into class. I can already see it.
Person: Oh, do you exercise in the morning?
Me: No, I'm just out of shape.
Person: What did you do that left you breathless?
Me: Walking up the stairs made me tired.
Fuck it. I'm so stupid, that whole conversation was stupid. Hopefully it doesn't happen. I finally reach the front doors, which thankfully, are propped open.
I am not trying to be like the new girl in the movies, opening up the big ass doors, scared by all the students dashing around. Being the new girl is movie like enough for me. Add in the whole, fat new girl thing, damn they should start filming now.
The bell rings right as I step inside and I see a few students hurrying across the halls and into the doors. Fuck. I'm going to be so late. Ugh. That means I have to walk in the classroom all fat and new and out of breath and more worried about what the crotch of my pants look like than what people think of me waddling around all day.
My best bet would to just go to the office and make them pity me. Perfect for me, the office is right at the front of the school, and there's a giant ass sign that says OFFICE. All they need to do is make it light up and it would be totally movie worthy.
I walk in all calm like, and then throw myself at the front of the giant desk thing that goes across the big room. I stare at the woman who's sitting at her own personal desk in the back and wait for her to notice me. It's not as if it's very hard, I'm taller than most people are.
"Hi, how may I help you?" She stands and walks over all slow like, as if the bell didn't ring a minute ago and I'm obviously late for school.
"I'm new." I blurt out. Fuck me. "I mean, yea, um, I'm new and the location of the bathroom would be lovely, and maybe a late pass or something, I don't know…" I motion all around as if I'm some dumbass. "Well, what this school's late procedure is...?" I clasp my hands together and give her my best sweet smile. "Oh, and maybe would you have a tampon, or a few...?" I stop myself from grimacing.
"Well actually, I'm going to have to give you detention, and no, we do not house tampons, but we do have maxi-pads, and you can have one. The bathroom has a sign above it, so it shouldn't be very hard to find. You can go to the gym, which is across the hall, and ask the gym teacher to get you the maxi-pad. Hopefully he won't be too busy. What is your name, to put you on the detention list?" She doesn't even smile. Fuck this school and fuck me.
"Oh um, I'm Isabella...uh Isabella…" Fuck, I forgot my last name. "Swan!" I do a tiny fist pump for remembering and then I remember why I'm giving her my name.
"Great, don't be late again." She turns and returns to her desk.
I walk or rather; waddle across the room and out the door. I can feel the wetness between my legs and I pray to the Teletubbies that I haven't bled through yet. Maybe if I just touched my crotch to make sure…No, someone might see me. But if I already bled through, they'd see that too.
I reach behind me and stick my hand between my legs. I press lightly and don't feel anything; I rub a little harder and don't feel anything, so I remove my hand.
Someone coughs and my heart nearly jumps out of my chest. Fuck me, fuck me, and fuck me. I play it cool. I turn around and the cutest guy ever stands there. Oh god, fuck, I forgot my lines to the most cliché movie of all times.
"Fuck!" I making myself look even more stupid by the delayed response. Oh god, please don't be the movie where I'm stupid enough to think he actually likes me, but he only dates me as a prank, and in the end my heart is broken and I do something stupid and end up pregnant or on drugs. Well, that's a bit pessimistic but what the fuck, let's be pessimistic.
He laughs at me. I don't blame him; I'd laugh to if I walked up on some fat girl I've never seen before touching her crotch in the middle of the hallway at school. I almost laugh at myself. "Don't fucking laugh at me. I'm on my period and I don't have a tampon. Mrs. Asshole in the office gave me detention for being late and told me to ask Mr. Gym Teacher for a maxi-pad. Do you know what a maxi-pad is?"
I don't give him time to answer. "I don't either. And, you want to know what else is funny? This whole moving in with the mom I've never seen before last week, trying and failing to understand why she hates me. Also being the new girl, wait no, the new FAT girl, who walks into class twenty minutes late, with whatever the fuck a maxi-pad is between my legs, looking like I pissed myself and blood came out instead of piss." I can barely breathe by the end and literally start to pant. Maybe I should have just said nothing. Oh shit, I'm living in a movie! Oh, fuck me.
"Ugh. Fuck me!" My eyes widen in horror. "No! That's not what I meant! Oh god, even if I were being serious, it'd be in a few days anyways. Why am I still talking? No, shit. Fuck me. Fuck it. Fuck everything!" I use my hands and arms entirely too much. I do not need to wave my arms around like a crazy person just to talk.
"I'm Emmett, and I like you." Well…I guess he likes awkward fat girls. I almost laugh. "You said you were new? Where do you come from?" He puts his arm around my shoulder and walks me down the hall. It's not until then until I really notice what he looks like. Dark curly hair, light grey almost white eyes, beautifully plush lips…oh fuck. I'm in a movie. When does this ever happen? Oh, shit! Thanksgiving needs to be like right now. So I can thank the Teletubbies for this.
"Isabella. Sacramento, you take out the ramen and there you go Sacto!" I sing and do a little shuffle. Fuck, I already miss my friends. Fucking bitch of a motherfucking jackass I'm supposed to call Mom. I sigh, damn it, Isabella, focus. We stop in front of a locker and he unlocks it with his free arm.
"Here are a few tampons and some pants. You look about the same size as my sister. Can you fit a twenty?" Oh, my fucking Teletubbies, okay Isabella, must not have a fucking dumbass look on my face. I manage a careful frown.
"I'm a thirty-four." I state, I carefully keep that small frown locked into place. I keep myself from like dancing away to the beat of silence.
"Are you sure you can't fit them? It might be a little tight but it's better than walking around with a bloody crotch…I could help you if you want…" I can already see about a million things wrong with what he just said. For one I'm so surprised when shit like this happens, as if it's a fucking movie. What is up with that Isabella? Stop being so obsessed with the idea of this being a movie!
"I guess." Fuck, I'm so nervous. I've never been naked in front of a boy, let alone a cute one! Why am I doing this? Isabella, think, don't be a slut. No. That won't make me a slut. It's not as if I'm doing stuff with him, for one I'm on my period, and that would be disgusting, and for two I'm not a slut.
You're such a dumb-ass Isabella! You can't possible fit a size twenty! That's like…that's like thinking that horrible time you went to an amusement park and you broke the ride and you thought you were going to die, but you held on tight and screamed your ass off. That was like one of those things you see on the news. It was scary. Where was I going with that? Oh right, it's like thinking you will ever go on a ride ever again, it's lucky your fat ass was stuck in the seat and couldn't fall out anyways.
"You okay in there?" He asks. Fuckity fuck fuck. My vision focuses and I realize I've been staring at the inside of his sister's locker for the past minute. Wait a second; is that a box of condoms? It is! I can't help but reach inside and grab them… Fuck me. The box slips from my hand and they spill all over the floor, sliding across the hall. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, no, shit, fuck me.
He lets me go and quickly tries to pick them all up. I just stand here like a dumbass and stare, mouth fallen open. Shit, I'm like that stupid bitch in scary movies that just stands there while a fucking deformed monster comes running at her with a chainsaw impossibly big.
"Help me!" He whisper yells. I drop to my knees and grab as many as possible, shoving them in the pockets of my jeans, front and back, all four of them. Fuck, now I can't get up.
"Help me up?" I say. He walks over and grabs my hands. Damn, he has some rough hands. Instead of me standing up and us walking into the bathroom and putting his sister's pants on me, I fall on top of him. There's a loud thud, followed by a teacher walking out of her classroom.
"Ugh! Fuck me!" I grumble yell, and then I notice the teacher, I notice some condoms fell out of my pockets, and whatever this boy's name is, is under me. I need to stop saying fuck me in crises.
"Oh my fucking Teletubbies fuck, shit NO! No! Teacher Lady, this doesn't look like, I mean, it looks like what you're thinking it looks like, but I fell, and a woman of my size doesn't get up from the ground very easily! Could you please help me up? I can roll over off of him, but standing up is the problem." Fuck it, Isabella you suck. I wish I can just close my eyes and then open them again and be back home.
Oh fuck, just thinking about it… all the fun times in math class with my friends, just thinking about it makes me want to cry. Fucking Isabella stop being stupid. I roll over, and the cute boy stands up.
"I'm sorry Mrs. Miller, I was trying to help her up, but I'm not very strong." Wait a hot second, did a man just admit to not being strong? Great, he's not overly confident, and admits his flaws, how cute. Shit, no, stop over-thinking everything Isabella.
"That's okay, we can both help you up miss, I'm sure it's not very easy." She's nice, holy fucking shitty shit! Thank the Teletubbies for this miracle!
They each grab a hand and pull, and voila, I'm standing! Okay, I'm standing, but I'm still very very very fucking late to my class, and I'm sure by now my pants are soaked, and I still have detention and no extra pants.
"Did Ms. Harper assign you to show her around?" The teacher asks the cute boy. Who's Ms. Harper?
"Yes." He lies to her.
"Okay then, I'll see you later." She walks down the hall and turns into another.
"Fuck!" I yell and then cover my mouth. The cute boy looks at me as if I'm crazy.
"You have a very dirty mouth." He turns and begins to pick up all the condoms that fell out of my pockets. He doesn't look at me while he shoves them in the box and puts them back in his sister's locker. He then grabs a few tampons out of another box and a pair of dark jeans.
"Are you mad at me?" I finally get the nerve to ask him. Shit, what if he is? I'm fucking fucked! Well, he still got the pants and the tampons…Oh shit, I'm going to have to go panties-less, which means…oh fuck, oh hell. I begin to pace, I'm going to cry, like right fucking now!
"No, just a bit embarrassed." He smiles and my head nearly falls off. Damn, he fucking has dimples! Holy fucking shit!
"Hold the fucking phone! You have dimples!" I can't help myself; I stick my finger in one before I can stop myself. He looks at me as if I've lost my fucking head. Okay, maybe I have, but it was long before today.
"So are we going to do this or what?" He finally asks after about twenty seconds of awkwardly staring at each other. Damn, he has the prettiest eyes!
"Yeah, I guess." I say and then remember to remove my hand from his face. I step away and he hands me the stuff. He locks the locker and then starts walking without saying anything. Maybe he's socially awkward also, holy fucking hell!
I waddle behind him down the hall until we reach a door with a giant sign above it that says women's bathroom. Well the office woman wasn't lying! He looks around before walking in. I pause while he holds the door open. Fuck, I feel so stupid. How can this actually be happening? It's as if I'm in some weird movie.
"Are you coming in?" He asks after a few seconds. I nod and walk in, my hips brushing against the doorway; he locks the door behind us. My pulse begins to rise along with the redness slowly working its way up my chest and onto my face. He notices and gives me a small smile. What if he's a rapist? Oh god, I just met him and I'm going to be naked in front of him! Oh fuck, I'm a slut, holy fuck, is this how it feels like to be a slut?
"Are you okay?" he asks as I set the stuff on the counter. I stare into the mirror and at myself. Damn, I'm fucking fat. I turn around and sure enough, there's blood showing through my neon green pants. Why did I choose to wear neon green pants?
"Yeah, so…um… how do you want to do this?" I lean against the counter and he looks just as nervous as I am. Good, that means he's not a rapist, but I mean, he still could…. Fuck. I'm so stupid, I'm about to be naked in front of a cute boy and he's going to try to help me squeeze into some pants I know I sure a fuck aren't going to fit. I'd be surprised if they get past my calves.
"I guess you can just, um, take your clothes, I mean pants off…and um, put the tampon in and um…then we'll put the other pants on…I guess." He doesn't look at me the entire time he talks. Well, he went from confident hot guy to nervous and yet still so yummy looking.
"Okay, I'll be in the stall…" I walk into the handy-cap stall, close the door behind me, and fumble with lock. Why am I even locking it? He's going to see me naked anyways… Damn! Fuck! Ugh, why am I doing this? I feel like it's a hundred degrees in here.
I take my time cleaning up the mess that is my crotch and then leave my pants and panties in a heap on the floor. Okay, I stand up, okay Isabella, this is about the most stupid thing you're ever going to do, okay, and you can do it. He's just a boy. Boys are going to see you naked at some point anyways. This one is cute too! And he wants to see you naked, okay, maybe not, but he is willing to see me naked to help me.
I unlock the door with shaky hands and pause. Fuck! I can't do this. No, I'm going to walk around with blood on my pants all day. No, that's more embarrassing than this. Fuck, I'm not going to be able to fit those pants anyway, they're a size twenty which is like….one, two, three, four…seven sizes too small. I could see if they were like a thirty two but a twenty...oh hell fucking no.
"Are you going to come out?" He asks. I can feel him on the other side of the door, oh my Teletubbies!
"Yeah, just…give me a second." I press my cheek against the cool metal and take a deep breath. This is so stupid. I open the door. I'm officially a slut. Oh, fuck! No, NO!
He stops himself from looking anywhere but my face. His face is redder than mine is. I don't want to move. Okay, I can just stand here and…I don't know. His instincts get the better of him and he glances down for split-second. I don't blame him, if he was naked, I'd probably look too. Thankfully, my tummy hides my crotch, kind of, not really, most of my weight is in my thighs and ass, I mean, I have a tummy, but it's like not all saggy, who the fuck am I kidding, is sags.
"So, um…how are we going to do this?" He stares at my face very hard. I get a weird look on my face that looks something like a nutcracker mixed with a grinning dog.
"I don't know…" I feel like I'm going to lose my virginity or something, not like a cute boy is going to attempt to help me put on pants.
"You're not going to fit them…huh…?" Thank the Teletubbies; one of us had to say it. I shake my head, but I can't move I'm so scared. Why are you scared Isabella? There's nothing to be afraid of Isabella.
You're just a three hundred and fifty pound girl completely naked from the waist down standing in front of a cute boy in a locked women's bathroom at the new school you just walked into half an hour ago. See, nothing at all to be afraid of, certainly not the fact you have about twenty condoms in your pants, which are on the floor right behind you. Nope, there is nothing at all to be afraid of in this entire situation.
Just at that moment, my phone decides to ring. Which reminds me, I forgot my backpack, I literally walked in here with nothing but the clothes on my back…well the clothes that were on my back and my cell phone. Oh god, it's my mother. I know, because I set her ringtone as Taylor Swift's song I Knew You Were Trouble. Oh, wait, she told me to call her Ms. Higginbotham.
Without thinking I turn and bend over to grab my pants, it's a struggle and I manage until I turn around and nearly die of a heart-attack. I have to keep it cool. Calm down Isabella. I answer.
"Hello, Ms. Higginbotham, I'm at school, you know this, why are you calling me?" Oh fuck, I'm getting light-headed. This is all so bad.
"Bring your fucking fat ass back to this house!" She yells. Oh fuck, what in the fuck does she want?
"Why should I?" I lean against the side of the stall. The cute boy just watched me while looking thoroughly traumatized.
"Because I told you to you fat ass bitch, you don't walk into my fucking house, and ask ME fucking questions! You do as I fucking say, and you do it without question, you understand me?" I don't care what my face looks like right now, all I know is it's not pretty.
"No." I hang-up and drop the phone on my clothes pile. Okay, maybe my life isn't like a movie.
"Who was that?" the cute boy asks. I frown and close my eyes. Oh, please Teletubbies, if you guys are listening could you please take me from this horrible situation.
"That was my mother." I state without opening my eyes. Fuck, I'm so tired I could fall asleep right here. Fuck, I haven't even gone to my first class yet, I have a feeling this is going to be a fucking long ass day.
"Are you okay?" He touches my cheek and my eyes open. I turn away from him. Fuck, can he just leave me alone? I fucking want to cry right now, and I'm already half naked, crying and being half-naked would be all bad.
"Don't ask me a stupid fucking question, you motherfucking dumbass." Okay, maybe that was a bit mean. I'm not saying sorry though, and it's not because of my pride, I'm not sorry. Sometimes you have to be mean to get through tough situations. Okay maybe you don't, but for me it is.
"I'm sorry." Apparently, he doesn't have the same philosophy. I don't say anything, until the bell rings. OH FUCK! No, no, no, no, this is fucking hell. I turn around and he looks just as scared as I am.
"What do we do?" He asks. Fucking shit, as if I know!
"I don't know! Fuck, um… give me your sweater, and can you pick up my pants for me? This would go a lot faster." I move out of stall and he goes in and picks up my panties and pants. I rush to put my pants back on as he takes his sweater off. Shit, why would I ever attempt to wear skinny jeans? I wrap the sweater around my waist and hold my underwear, not knowing what to do. I look around, and spot a large window. I walk over and shove them out. Problem solved.
"Thanks." I say, why didn't I think of the sweater thing before? I used to do it all the time in elementary school when I'd piss myself. Fuck, I work better when something is rushing me. It forces my brain to work faster and stop being a lazy procrastinator.
"We can't just walk out of here!" I say, shit. How are we going to get out? I can't fit through that window….or maybe I can. Okay, if he slides it up as far as it will go maybe….okay, no. Well, I'm sure I can, but we'll probably get caught.
"We can get out through the air vent!" He says pointing up. He walks into a stall near it and stands on the toilet. He pulls the grate down and it hangs. He pulls himself up and into it. It's big so I guess I could fit into it. I follow suit and he uses the other vents that run through it to pull himself farther and farther up. Thankfully, I can fit, it's a tight squeeze, but I'm managing. We finally reach the top and it it turns into a large fan. Fuck. I can't fit in any of the other ones. This was a horrible idea. Fuck! I forgot my phone! Shitty fuck, we can't get out this way, anyways!
"The classroom through this vent is empty. They use it as storage. It's like ten feet away and we can leave through the back door so nobody sees us." He uses his foot and kicks the inside of the tube thingy he's meaning.
"How do you know this?" I ask, and I still need my phone, fuck.
"I have a free period." I start moving down so he can get into the vent. So apparently having a free period equals going into the air vents.
"Okay." I try to follow him but my lower half is stuck, fuck! "Hey, you, fucking, I'm stuck." Those fucking Teletubbies are making life hard. The bell decides to ring and I sigh. Second period has already started, fucking fuckity shit!
"Hold on." He somehow turns around and grabs my hands. He pulls and the metal digs into my skin.
"This isn't going to work, ouch! Will you stop fucking pulling!" The force of his pulling makes his sweater come off. "Okay you can pull now." I suck in all my breath and try to talk without breathing. Damn, that's hard to do. He pulls and I'm finally inside.
"Okay, I'll kick the vent down and I'll get out first. You're going to have to get out face down…" Fuck.
"I lost your sweater. I think it fell into the toilet." I get that nutcracker, dog grin face. He almost laughs.
"It's okay, but I put your phone in the pocket…" Shit. Well, at least Ms. Higginbotham can't call me.
"Damn, can we take a break, life is making me tired." I put my head down and pray to the Teletubbies that I don't break this thing.
"Isabella, it's okay." I don't want to look up because I'm crying. Fuck, I'm such a cry baby. Isabella, why are you crying? There is no reason to be crying. It's okay though, Isabella you can cry, and then keep going. This isn't the worst thing that can happen.
I hide a sniffle with a cough. "Come on Isabella, it is okay. You'll be fine." Okay, he's already seen me naked; crying won't be that bad right? I look up and he lets go of one of my hands and rubs my cheek. Fuck, this is a movie!
"Yea, I guess I will." I'm somewhat scared of the moment when we part ways and I'm all alone… Fuck. He looks at me and I feel like this is the point in the movie where that beautiful music comes on and he kisses me. Maybe I should kiss him, because at this point I'm just so glad he walked up on me touching my crotch. Well, I wouldn't be here, but I'd have also been alone, and even though it's raised my stress levels above where they should be, it was kind of fun…
He shimmies forward until his face is mew inches away and I brace myself for a kiss. Oh god, fuck, I'm going to have my first kiss in an air vent. Oh shit, this is going to be quite the tale; I can imagine it now, telling my kids about my first kiss. Okay, well this isn't my first kiss, but my first kiss at this new school. My first kiss was in middle school, and it was with a girl, but that's not the point.
"If I kiss you will you be okay?" He grabs my face with both hands and stares at my lips. I'm so glad I remembered to brush my teeth this morning! Fuck! It's going to happen.
"Yes." I might as well just say, yes, can you just fucking kiss me already; I've been waiting all day, why do you think I let you see me naked? Okay, that's not true, but the way I said yes, it might as well be true.
I'm not exactly sure how to kiss but I don't think he does either. I'm sure two seconds after you press your lips to mine, your tongue isn't supposed to be in my mouth. I just go with it, okay, few seconds pass, and now it feels almost right. Damn, he tastes like pizza, mm mm… I like pizza.
He pulls back and stares at me. "Was that your first kiss?" He asks. What the fuck is he talking about?
"No, was that your first kiss?" I retort. Okay, maybe that wasn't a very good comeback but whatever.
"No. You don't know how to kiss Isabella, are you lying?" He looks skeptical.
"No, you motherfucking dumbass, I've had my first kiss, in middle school with a girl that cornered me in the locker room and kissed the fuck out of me in front of everyone. I later found out she was a lesbian, and that she likes fat girls." I scowl at him, and stick my tongue out at him like a five year old.
"Well you're still bad at it." He says. I should kick him in his motherfucking face.
"You're the one who's bad at it! You stuck your tongue in my mouth way before you should have! You fucking dumbass! I bet you're bad in bed to. The girl won't even be ready and you're already in there!" I smile in triumph and somehow am still able to use my arms, shoving it forwards demonstrating his early penetration. I laugh at my own thoughts.
"Are you serious? I make girls scream!" He thinks he's one.
"Yeah, scream in pain! Oh, fuck! NO! STOP! I'M NOT READY! OUCH! DUMBASS YOU NEED TO… FUCK! FUCKING STOP!" I scream just to spite him. I should so be an actress.
"Let's just go, you're making me late for class." He gives up and scoots back, finally letting go of my face. He grabs my hands instead and kicks the vent down. As his body falls down, he pulls me forward, not only pulling me closer, but also keeping him from falling.
"I'm making you late to class? Motherfucking dumbass, you're making me late for class!" His entire body is out of the vent and I can see out. He's standing on a table beneath us.
"What. Ever!" He says like a girly girl. I laugh so hard I feel my tampon.
"So how are we going to do this?" I'm not trying to die over here.
"Like this." He jumps off the table, while still holding my arms and I'm stuck for a second until he pulls even harder and I fall on top of the table, also breaking it. That fucking asshole is such a motherfucking dumbass.