This is inspired by GoldAndblackDragon on AO3. She hasn't updated hers, so I'm going to make my own version.
Two polar opposite girls enter the Hetalian world, to read secrets out loud from an ancient book.
It was an informal tradition to stay in the host country of a world meeting the night before.
The world meeting was in England this year, and everybody was in his house's living room, enjoying a relaxing night without the fights.
Well, that is until a puff of smoke eats the whole room.
"Ve~ Doitsu, what's going on?!" Italy says while screaming, everybody else coughing.
Finally the smoke disappeared, and two girls were there.
One looked like she was… 13? What the fuck was a preteen doing here? She had jet black hair with electric blue streaks running through her long hair. She was wearing a blue jumper, with a denim jumper dress and navy leg warmers over black flats. She wore a stoic face, kind of annoyed.
The other one was… WTF? 10? She lad lavender hair tied in a ponytail on the side, with a patch of it covering one eye. She had rose-gold headphones around her neck, and a coral sweater that was too big for her, with the words HETALIAN 2 DA MAX on it. She had violet eyes, shades lighter than her navy-blue sport shorts that reached above her knees. She was opposite from the other girl, bouncing happily.
They both looked Asian.
"OHMIGAD we're here! Machiko! we're really here! Look! It's Canada! Squee! So Kawaii! And… what's the bears name? Kuji… Oh what the hell but they're right in front of us, In the freaking flesh!" The purple one said.
America spoke up and said, "Who are you?!"
The blue one sighed annoyed and explained. "I'm Machiko Mojiretsu. This is Sakka Ongaku, my partner in crime. She forced me to go here so she can embarrass you. I, on the other hand, wanted to go to the Hibike Euphorium world… Anyway, we have a book full of your secrets, and we're going to read them out loud. We have 2 hours, before we move on understand Sakka?"
"Yep! Now, hand me the book Machiko!" Sakka squealed.
She grabbed the book, a tattered leather one with patches of different leather stitched messily together and flipped it to a page, before saying,
"Are you ready?"
Everybody else sat down on the floor, even Machiko, around the coffee table to listen.
She cleared her throat, and spoke loudly.
"Austria & Switzerland have secret feelings for each other."
"What the-" Austria & Switzerland said at the same time, awkwardly, since they were right beside each other.
But Seychelles & Hungary pushed them both together, and soon, Switzerland's lips were SMACK ON Austria's.
"SQUEEE!" Seychelles & Hungary squealed.
"Oh, I forgot to mention, Seychelles & Hungary love Yaoi." Sakka said like it was no big deal.
Everybody else just watched with horror.
Switzerland scrambled to get up, as so did Austria, and they just faced the other way in embarrassment.
Machiko snapped them back to reality, by clapping and saying, "Hello!"
Sakka waited for everyone to go into silence, and continued.
"France has feelings for his son, Canada, so does Canada but Canada's too shy to admit his- uhh…. *kinky* dreams."
Canada buries his face in his polar bear, face red, and weirdly, Seychelles went to comfort him while everybody glared daggers at France.
"Mon amies, I don't control dreams do I?" France said nervously.
"Is it… the daddy kink?" Seychelles whispered lowly, and Canada nodded.
Seychelles said lowly, "Ok…" before screaming excitedly.
"WOOHOO! I WAS SO RIGHT! The fanfics were accurate! AHAHAHA! My dream has come true! Now I can die happily…"
Hungary joined her, going full fudanshi mode. "Which one? You mean Go Faster? That fanfic was so lemony! No? Wait is it a fluff? Or is it a smut? Huh? BOTH?! Omg, what's the link!"
Again, everybody glared sharper daggers, but nobody emitted a darker aura than America.
"Is that true, France? Cause if it is I swear I will torture you…" He said demon-like.
Finally, France raised Italy, who was holding a white flag.
"I surrender! Please don't kill me!"
Sakka, who just watched happily, suddenly remembered the time limit.
"HOY! YOU sons of a Kale will you quit it?! We have 90 minutes left!" She said with a raised voice.
"You know Lithuanian?" Lithuania asked.
"Only Kale. Which means B**ch. I mostly know Tagalog and English, and selected Japanese." She replied.
Everybody froze, before realizing an 11-year-old girl swore. Does that mean she can-
"Yep, I'm capable of murdering you, I can use a handgun just fine, I also take boxing classes, and Machiko takes taekwondo. And I can take your life right this instant if you don't shut the fuck up."
Everybody sat back down, now shaking in terror.
She raised the book, and began to read again.
"America and Canada have kids and can give birth. (Thanks GoldAndblackDragon for the amazing idea!)"
Let that bit sink in… Wait for it… Although Machiko was amused but hiding that fact-
"WHAT?!" they all screamed. And now, the room was a battlefield.
Canada & America held onto each other out of fear, and they tried very hard to go invisible.
Kujimuro tried to stop the questions, but he just flew out the window, and Machiko went to get him.
"Ahh! Kujimuro! Are you okay?!" Canada screamed, well, it sounded normal voiced to the others, when he saw Kujimuro get thrown by England.
"Care to explain, little brother?" England said with a dark aura.
"You do it Canada!" America whispered.
"Ehehehe… Somehow, we were born with female reproductive systems… So, we can give birth. Well, 13 of America's kids are adopted but… Yeah." Canada whispered.
Suddenly, Italy butted in.
"Ve~ Where are your kids?" He said.
"They're… Eh… They're with Sea land!" America and Canada said in unison nervously.
They squinted at him, but before they could point out that America was lying, voices came from Canada's suitcase.
"Dad's an idiot."
"Hey! Don't say that about your father!"
"Ehh!? But he is an idiot! He can't make a good excuse! Francis, my mother is better than Arthur!"
"How dare you! There is nothing wrong with Arthur! Francis is a pervert! He's not my mom anyway!"
"Will you two quit it?! We're going to get caught!"
"Shut up, forever virgin!"
"Hey! I am proud of being pure! Besides, I was named after Elizabeth the- whatever number!"
"SHUT UP YOU TWO!"
"H-Hawaii?"
"I can tell by the quietness that everybody can hear us! Now get the heck out!" The voice said, before 5 kids, boys, came stumbling out the suitcase.
The oldest, was probably Hawaii, looking like a 9-year old. His hair looked like Japan's, but messier. They were all wearing red-lined sailor uniforms, with a ribbon with the design of the American flag. Brown skin and jet black hair, with chocolate eys.
The next one, probably 8, was a boy with the famous Kirkland eyebrows. His eyes were emerald green, and he looked like… Arthur… but he had platinum blond hair.
The 2 others, looking 7 years old, were 2 boys who looked like girls, but you could somehow tell they were boys. The other one had Violet eyes, the other blue.
Then, the youngest, still a toddler. Ruby eyes, and ginger-hair.
"Kids?! I thought I left you upstairs?!" America asked, rushing to them.
"Sorry dad, but we wanted to see your friends. Besides, you haven't told anybody about us… Are we some sort of shame?" the Kirkland-like boy said sadly, guilt-tripping America.
"No… There are some things I can't tell them, but that doesn't mean I'm ashamed of you guys. In fact, I'm very proud of you, you survived the Revolutionary War, right kiddo?" He said so…so… Dad-like.
The boy giggled and smiled, "Yep!"
Everybody stared in utter shock.
America.
Was.
A Dad.
A great Dad.
Unbelievable.
The silence was broken by Canada, who gasped.
"Are your cousins here?" He asked hurriedly.
"Uh-huh. They're over there." Hawaii said.
Everybody turned, and soon, 2 kids went un-invisible, and everyone could see them.
"Dad!" The two 12-year-olds said, running up to Canada.
"Manitoba & Prince! What did I tell you about using your invisibility?" He said softly while hugging the two.
One had snow-white hair, with golden eyes. The other had blond hair with ginger roots and dark blue eyes.
"HOLD UP! HOLD UP! Your telling me, America has 50 fricking kids and Canada has 10?!" Germany asked.
"Ehehehe…. Yes?" Canada said, while the kids stared at the guy.
"How about you introduce us to them?~" Italy said.
"Oh! Uh- My oldest here is Hawaii. Mr. Eyebrows over here-"
"Dad!" The Kirkland boy said protesting.
"Sorry, this is Virginia. Those two over there are North Carolina & South Carolina. The toddler is Maryland." America said, gesturing to each of his kids.
"And this is Prince Edward, the one with golden eyes. The one with the blue eyes is Manitoba." Canada said, while his kids smiled.
Suddenly, Sakka cleared her throat, and they remembered she was here.
"Don't worry, the next one is still about these two." She said, pointing to Canada & America.
"England has a kid with America, and one with Canada."
Aaaaand France lost it.
"WHAT THE HECK ENGLAND! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO YOUR BROTHERS YOU IDIOT!" He screamed, while shaking the Englishman vigorously.
"Who are they?" Hungary and Seychelles asked.
"Prince Edward Island & Virginia." Machiko said bluntly.
"That's right! Mommy does know, but when we try to talk to him, he acts like he doesn't know us!" Prince said.
England was just shocked his own son threw him under the bus.
"Hey! But Mommy is one of the most prospering countries there are! And he still sends us the best gifts!" Virginia countered.
And soon, the half-brothers were all over each other, in a brawl.
"That's enough you two!" Canada & America both screamed.
And the two kids sat on the floor instantly, not wanting to get on their parents bad side.
"Good. Now Sakka, read away." Machiko said, playing with Maryland.
"Okay. This is the Asian family. Japan has been leaving sweet little gifts for China, basically he's been trying to court him to earn trust. Oh, how Kawaii!" Sakka read.
Japan kicked Sakka in the stomach while China hit her in the head with a wok.
"HOW THE HECK DID THAT GET IN THERE!?" They screamed, still beating up Sakka.
"Ow! Because-Ow!- Cause I don't know! The book says it! -Ow-!" She said painfully.
Machiko just picked the two up, and flew them out the window.
"You'll pay for thi-" China says before they hit a trash-can.
Sakka got up, covered with bruises, and continued to read.
"Russia x Prussia is real dudes. It's real." She said, suddenly wearing sunglasses.
Aaaaand now Sakka was being beaten with a waterpipe.
"Please! -OW! Have Merc-OW! MERCY!" She cried between hits.
"I think you deserve this…" Russia said with the darkest aura he's ever had.
Machiko stood up and threw Russia and Prussia out the window, and helped Sakka up.
"We'll be going, but we'll be back tomorrow with more secrets." She said, and with a puff of smoke, they were gone.
Aaaaand the countries played with America and Canada's kids.
First fanfic I'm posting here, let me know if it's good and if I should continue!