BAN: This entire fanfiction was originally written by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus outside four new lines, with 2 at the start and the other duo at the end. He approved of people archiving stories that he was going to massively retool into something else or outright remove, so this is more or less how this originally was, given this was written for Super Trash Bros 4.
Wacky Newcomers By Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus
Super Smash Brothers always had a very weird assortment of bizarre new characters playable, but most of them were generally liked or ignored while a select few were hated for a variety of reasons. Whatever the reasons may be for justifying their presence in such a high profile game like Smash or not, newcomers both good and bad were the new fresh blood that was needed for an aging IP, and this Smash Bros had quite the controversial picks. The female Wii Fit Trainer and the male Animal Crossing Villager looked at each other as they were waiting in the waiting room, watching the other characters having a brawl with each other. The two newcomers looked at each other, both of them smiling.
The Villager rubbed the back of his head as he felt a bit sheepish, with the Wii Fit Trainer stretching her arms as she folded her arms together, approaching the Villager and wrapping her arm around him. The Villager gawked as his eyes widened, feeling nervous as he began sweating nervously, with the Wii Fit Trainer chuckling.
Silver The Hedgehog watched in disbelief as he witnessed the Wii Fit Trainer and Villager bonding, being there to deliver pizza to the Smashers. He rubbed the back of his head. "Wow... never would have expected them to become newcomers."
"Well, the Smash developers wanted someone completely unexpected, so they went with the Wii Fit Trainer," R.O.B. pinpointed in his robotic monotone voice as he moved his mechanical arms about. "She essentially serves as the unexpected character."
Silver placed his right hand on his hip as he turned to R.O.B. "Aren't you afraid that you might get booted?"
R.O.B. shook his head as he turned to Silver. "No, I'm guaranteed to stay. I have a unique moveset, the devs like me, and I garnered enough of a fanbase to permit me to stay playable."
Silver smiled as he nodded his head. "That's a relief. I can't think of a Smash Bros. without you." He then turned his head back to the Wii Fit Trainer and Villager, who were both moving their arms about in a weird way of communication. "But this new game will certainly be interesting, that's for sure..."
The female Wii Fit Trainer and Villager were both in the back of the Smashville stage, with Silver sitting alongside them on the wooden bench across Brewster as they watched R.O.B., Sonic, Meta Knight, and Lucario fight each other as Lucario grabbed a Smash Ball and activated his final smash, using his Aura Storm on the stage, blowing chunks of it off along with the other three brawlers.
"Wow! Keep it up!" The Wii Fit Trainer exclaimed as she raised her arms, encouraging the fighters to stay on. "Try and keep your balance!"
The Villager had placed both of his hands on the bench, with the Wii Fit Trainer sitting back down as she sat on the Villager's right hand. The Villager gasped as he tried pulling his hands out, when accidentally from excitement, the Wii Fit Trainer farted loudly on his hand, both warming and stinking it up. The Wii Git Trainer gasped as she glanced at the Villager to see his right hand under her butt, pooting again as she got up, wafting the smell away with her left hand as the Villager pulled his hand away.
"Oh I'm so sorry, Villager, I didn't mean to pass flatulence on your hand," Wii Fit Trainer calmly apologized as she rubbed her right arm with her left hand.
The Villager smiled as he ignored the smell, holding Wii Fit Trainer's hands together and smiling, with the Wii Fit Trainer smiling as well.
Silver watched in amazement as he waited for a cup of hot coffee from Brewster, folding his arms together. "Wow, these two are definitely more connected than I thought." Silver commented as R.O.B. suddenly landed on the wooden table, injuring himself.
"Ugh... Lucario is packing in a stronger punch than I expected," R.O.B. told Silver in his robotic, monotone voice as he hovered back to the stage, noticing Wii Fit Trainer and Villager's friendship with each other.
The female Wii Fit Trainer, the male Villager, and Megaman watched as Princess Rosalina and a yellow Luma arrived at the Super Smash Brothers Mansion, the door opening as the blatant blue space Peach clone waved nervously, realizing that many people hated her.
"H-hey-" Rosalina greeted, only to be tackled into the ground by Donkey Kong, who began beating her up.
"You're a terrible addition and you shouldn't be allowed to fight with us, clone!" Donkey Kong exclaimed as he kept pounding the living daylights out of Rosalina.
The other three newcomers and the Luma gasped as Master Hand approached the scene, seeing Rosalina scream in pain as Donkey Kong kept smashing her. He then shrugged as he headed back in.
"At least we have a new punching bag," The floating glove muttered to himself.
"Should... we do something?" Megaman asked as he rubbed the back of his metal head with his right cannon.
The Wii Fit Trainer shrugged as she shook her head. "No. Personally I don't think this new princess fits in with us."
The Villager chuckled as the three newcomers left the mansion, with Donkey Kong continuing to beat up Rosalina. Eventually Bowser joined in and burned her with his fire breath, with some of the other Smash veterans joining in to beat Rosalina up to the point where she was unrecognizable.
"Man, this reminds me of when some people initially didn't like me just because I was the new kid." Silver The Hedgehog stated as he was brushing his quills, watching this from a balcony with R.O.B. "I mean, the reaction was rough."
"Trust me, Mr. Silver, far more people like you than this new female," ROB stated as the robot was looking through the newly updated databases to search for the fat Peach knockoff. "Personally I can't stand her. Her echoes sometimes mess with my circuits."
Arceus casually walked by as he smirked, deciding to approach the two characters as he surprised them.
"Learning about Not Cynthia, huh?" Arceus stated as he then closed his eyes, summoning a book that had a picture of Peach, Daisy, and Toadette farting together on it. "Have I got the big tale for you..."
Silver and ROB listened in closely as they tuned out of the moans of pain Rosalina was letting out from being beaten up by nearly everyone within the mansion, with Arceus clearing his throat as he began to read a particular passage...
Princess Peach, Princess Daisy, Princess Rosalina, and Toadette were all bored as heck, having been stuck for fifteen minutes within the elevator. Rosalina managed to do some meditating, while Toadette attempted to dig out, leaving only Peach and Daisy to themselves.
"I'm hungry," Peach whined, rubbing her stomach, which growled.
"Didn't you just ate before?" Daisy asked, flickering through her brownish colored hair.
Peach nodded. "Yeah, but I have a fast metabolism." She admitted, extending her arms into the air.
"What's metabolism?" Toadette asked, glancing up at Daisy.
Daisy only shrugged. "I don't know. I guess it's stamina." She said as she then got into a meditating position.
Toadette rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I'll think of a way to get us out." She stopped digging, sat down, closed her eyes and got into a yoga stance, meditating as well.
Peach sighed. She, too, closed her eyes, but she felt that she had something inside her that she had to expel... and that something was something that the other three girls didn't want.
PPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTT!
"...Ewwww!" Daisy, Rosalina, and Toadette all in disgust, covering their noses and glaring at Peach. "Peach, that's disgusting!" "That's not very lady like of you, Peach..." "Keep your bad gas inside, Princess Poot!"
Peach frowned, being called out by the other three females. "Oh come on, I held it in me for too long. Besides, it's natural," She said with a smile.
Daisy thought about this, and she nodded, grinning as well. "Peach has a point. Plus..." She stood up, and bent down, to fart on her own right.
POOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!
Toadette coughed a bit, waving her right hand to blow the smell away. "Phew! Daisy, you really packed a scent in that one!" She stated, moving slightly away from Daisy to the left. "I may not have a nose, but even I can tell how bad this stinks!"
Peach giggled. "Oh, Daisy, you really are crazy sometimes, but I like you like that." She then paused for a moment, and let out a two second fart, giggling even more as Daisy and Toadette bursted into laughter.
Rosalina turned her head to the other direction, disgusted. "Ugh! Immaturity at its best..." She muttered quietly to herself as she closed her eyes.
Daisy wiped her forehead after laughing, and she patted Peach on the right shoulder. "Boy, Peach, you sure have it beat when it comes to farting! I don't think any of us can be as great a farter as you."
Peach blushed, giggling. "Oh, Daisy..."
Toadette scoffed, shaking her head. "Please! I may be small, but I have plenty of gas in me! Watch..." She stood up, and closed her eyes, struggling to fart, until...
FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARB! (worst word for use as fart sound effect ever)
Peach giggled, coughing a bit as she smelt the gassy stench that now filled the elevator. "See, Toadette? It wasn't that bad to do!"
Daisy nodded, patting Toadette on the head. "Yeah, Toadette. You have a lot of guts cutting the cheese in an elevator that can't be opened!"
Rosalina slapped her forehead. "I can't believe they're still doing such immature nonsense when we're trapped in what could very well be our prison..." She complained again to herself, not being part of the fart-obsessed trio of girls.
Toadette laughed heartily, putting her arms behind her pink-capped mushroom head. "Aw shucks! You should see what I do after I have eighteen pounds of broccoli."
Peach gasped, and she stood up, walking over to Toadette with her hands on her hips. "Really? Well, I can just eat one bean burrito and I'm making a truckload of gas!" She grunted, and then let out a loud, brassy fart that lasted five seconds.
Daisy applauded, laughing as she complimented, "Whoa, Peach! You sure know how to execute the deadly stench!" Though strangely, she wasn't bothered at all by the smell that started to linger through the stopped elevator.
Rosalina sighed and shook her head, standing up as she folded her arms and glanced at the three girls in disgust. "I can't stand anymore talk of farting! Can we just wait until someone rescues us!?"
Silence. Peach, Daisy, and Toadette did not say another word as Rosalina kept glaring at them, who then sighed and closed her eyes. But she made a fatal mistake... she accidentally farted right at that precious moment.
PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!
Peach, Daisy, and Toadette all gasped in shock, and then smirked as they glanced at Rosalina, who was horrified, and she then gasped, covering her mouth.
"I...I..." As Rosalina blushed a bright red, completely embarrassed, she let out another loud fart, which caused the other three girls to laugh. Rosalina placed her hands on her face, sobbing in embarrassment as she let out a small little poot shortly afterwards. Peach, Daisy, and Toadette all continued laughing with giddy at Rosalina's embarrassing farting moment, forgetting that they were still trapped in the elevator.
"...wow." Silver stated in shock as his eyes widened in shock, brushing back his quills as he couldn't believe what he had just heard. "Who knew that Rosalina had so much bad gas in her... no wonder she's heavy weight in Mario Kart Wii. What did she eat!?"
"Well, she was supposedly in space for almost all of her life..." ROB stated as he was looking up information on star bits. "...and these things really do quite a number on your system if you don't get it checked out."
"Indeed they do." Arceus stated, seeing the Smashers using the dead bodies of Kirby, Marth, and Diddy Kong to resume beating up Rosalina, who was basically dead herself. "Hmm. Should we go over there and try to calm things, or just-"
"THIS IS FOR GETTING IN STUFF BEFORE ME!" Bowser Junior exclaimed as he slammed his Paintbrush on Rosalina's dead body, the colors on the brush leaking all over her.
Arceus, Silver, and ROB all nodded their heads as they decided to just leave the mansion for a while, seeing as how the next newcomer couldn't possibly be as hated as Rosalina was.
"It sure is boring around here..." Megaman sighed as he, the female Wii Fit Trainer, and the male Animal Crossing Villager were all in the living room of the Smash Mansion, watching old Nintendo commercials.
Suddenly the door was knocked down, with Megaman, who was craving for some action, deciding to check it out. Unfortunately for him, he got punched right in the face, sending him right through the basement door. The Wii Fit Trainer and Villager got off the red couch to see the newcomer, who looked like a tanned human boxer.
"Yo, dawg, that's not the word, you heard!" The boxer shouted as he ran up to punch the Wii Fit Trainer, who kicked him in the face.
"Little Mac! I told you to be careful, man!" A large black human man in red sweaters stated as he walked in, munching on a bar of chocolate.
Wii Fit Trainer glanced up at the fat black man, recognizing him. "Hey, aren't you Doc Louis?"
"The one and only, baby!" Doc Louis stated as he pointed at the injured boxer on the floor. "And I'm sure you recognize this former Assist Trophy. He's Little Mac, and he's joining your rank of playability!"
"All right!" Pikachu exclaimed as he ran up to Little Mac, glancing down at him with a grin. "I am your biggest fan, Mac!"
Little Mac stood up, standing tall and proud as he chuckled. "Hehe, thanks squirt. I'm glad that the younger fans around here have such good tastes. On that note..." Little Mac began punching everything, to the point of where he gave uppercuts to the Villager and Wii Fit Trainer, who were knocked into the furniture.
Doc Louis just sat down on the couch, munching on his chocolate as Pikachu squealed joyfully, with Master Hand entering the living room to see what was occurring. Silver The Hedgehog and R.O.B. also arrived to see what was occurring, the cute yellow Luma circling around R.O.B.
"An actual fighter as a newcomer?" Silver laughed as he placed his hands on his hips. "I thought I would never see the day."
"That's what people said about me when I was confirmed to be a playable character," R.O.B. commented in a robotic tone as he turned to Silver, who nodded in response.
Master Hand cleared his throat as he tried to get Little Mac's attention. "Mr. Mac, please calm down and let me formally introduce you to-"
Little Mac uppercutted Master Hand, causing the giant white hand to turn into a fist as he slammed Little Mac right out of the mansion, causing him to blast off again. However, Little Mac landed in the smooth green grass, tunneling through via punching as he was punch obsessed, making his way back to the mansion.
"Little Mac punches in!" Little Mac chanted as he kept on pounding through the ground, resurfacing up to see that he was in what appeared to be a clean, blue and white room, with several red stalls in place. "What the hell... where am I...?"
Little Mac would realize that he was in the girls' bathroom, much to his horror as Princess Rosalina farted loudly, the space princess taking a dump as she screamed at Little Mac, who screamed back as he was in Rosalina's stall.
"Little Mac does not like what he sees!" Little Mac exclaimed as he punched Rosalina in the face, punching his way out of the bathroom stall as he ran down the hallway towards the rest, screaming his head off as he ran past Sonic The Hedgehog and Lucario, who watched as Little Mac fled frightfully.
"What the hell was that all about?" Sonic asked as he placed his hands on his hips.
Lucario rubbed his chin with his right paw as he noticed the girls' bathroom door was knocked down, slowly shaking his head. "I have a feeling that Little Mac made a wrong turn at Albuquerque..."
They then heard several objects breaking as Little Mac was continuing to punch his way through the mansion, both of the anthropomorphic mammals sighing as they shook their heads.
A dark night at the Smash Mansion within the Hyrule Temple as Zero Suit Samus and Shiek were practicing matches against each other, with Pikachu on the rooftop as he watched Charizard fly around the mansion.
"Wow! You sure are pretty good, Charizard!" Pikachu exclaimed as he moved his stubby hands around. "You think you could show me how to go fast while using balloons?"
Charizard glanced down at Pikachu as he prepared to fly towards him, only to be splashed by a huge surge of water as he and Pikachu looked around, to see a weird, blue colored ninja frog standing on the grass at the bottom level of the mansion, his arms folded together.
"Greetings, fellow old Pokemon." Greninja stated as he stretched out his arms, his weird pink tongue like scarf standing out."Anyone know where I can find some newcomers?"
Charizard and Pikachu eyed each other as they looked down at Greninja from the rooftop, with a yellow Luma poking its head out of the mansion. Greninja then smashed the Luma into the ground, rushing into the mansion and beating up Rosalina, who was simply watching a soap opera in the living room, with Megaman blasting through the kitchen as he paused, watching Rosalina be reduced to a pulp as he folded his arms, only to be splashed with hot water to the face by Greninja.
"That weird ninja frog sure is aggressive." Silver stated to R.O.B., who nodded in agreement as they were watching the live footage from a hospital television in the meeting room.
It was then that Greninja ran up the red staircase, going down the first hallway as he smashed the male Wii Fit Trainer down to the ground, with the female Wii Fit Trainer running up the flight of stairs behind Greninja. Greninja then turned around and fired a Water Pulse at the female Wii Fit Trainer, soaking her completely as Little Mac was punching his way through, only to be punched in the face by Greninja.
"These newcomers are too weak for my tastes," Greninja muttered to himself as he then entered the male Animal Crossing Villager's room, grabbing the Villager and sticking him up on the wall, taking out a couple of ninja stars as Lucario walked in, his arms folded.
"Who are you, and what do you think you're doing?" Lucario asked as he suspiciously eyed Greninja.
Greninja was quick to use surf, flooding the entire mansion, but the blue colored water type frog would meet his match as he was then blasted by a powerful Aura Sphere from Mega Lucario, who took the opportunity to transform. As Greninja got up, he got massively burnt by Mega Charizard X, the black, dragon type mega form of Charizard using his immense flames to turn the water into mist, tackling into Greninja as Greninja was not able to defend himself.
The entire mansion then collapsed, with Mega Charizard X and Mega Lucario continuing their assault on Greninja, who proceeded to chase him all over the Hyrule Temple towards the east.
It was a fine day at the Smash Mansion in the lava foregrounds of Bowser's Castle as a high pitched scream was heard, with several attacks being heard right afterward. Little Mac came punching in through the front door, to see three Miis beating up Princess Rosalina.
"Great Scott!" Little Mac exclaimed as he was smacked in the face by the yellow Luma, who was slashed at by the male Mii with a blue sword.
The female orange Mii with a canon laughed as she blasted the severely injured Rosalina in the face, catching glance of Megaman, who blushed as he rubebd the back of his head with his right hand.
"Oh man, this is heavy..." Megaman admitted as she slowly stumbled out of the room, bumping into various objects.
The male Mii in red shrugged as he kept punching Rosalina's stomach, when he stopped as he looked up, to see a tall female with green hair looming over him and the other two Miis.
"My... you naughty children are so strong..." The green haired woman admitted as she held her staff in her right hand, wagging her left index finger. "Tsk tsk, that's no good..."
"Lady Palutena, must you really do that?" Pit remarked as he walked past Palutena, doing a spittake as he turned around, placing his hands on his face. "W-wait a minute! Lady Palutena, you're playable!?"
Palutena chuckled as she shrugged, patting Pit on the head with her left hand. "Oh Pitkuns, of course I am. Didn't Sakurai tell you?"
"A new female, huh?" The Wii Fit Trainer exclaimed as she ran up to Palutena, kicking her right in the butt, sending the green haired goddess through the roof. "Well, you better get yourself in good shape, lady!"
Palutena screamed in pain as the Animal Crossing Villager chuckled in silence, with the Miis joining him as Pit dropped his jaw in disbelief, Greninja entering the room as he looked up at Palutena, then glanced at the Miis, and looked at the broken door to see the unconscious Little Mac and Luma, finally seeing the pool of blood surrounding Rosalina.
"...Are things always this chaotic?" Greninja remarked as he turned to Pit, who simply nodded his head in response.
Palutena groaned as she closed her eyes, her upper body being in the middle of the hallway. "Ooh, it can't get any worse..." She then felt her stomach grumble loudly, making her gasp. "Oh... oh no..."
And then Palutena farted, her brassy flatulence shaking the entire mansion and causing it to collapse. R.O.B. popped out of it, alongside Silver The Hedgehog, who coughed.
"Augh! What was that!?" Silver asked as he moved his hands around, doing a pizza delivery at the moment.
R.O.B. simply shook his robotic head slowly as he moved his mechanical arms up and down. "Seems like we have another female with flatulent problems..."
Silver sighed in annoyance as he realized what that could only mean.
"FAIRY GOD PARENTS!" Mr. Crocker exclaimed as he spazzed out in front of R.O.B. and Silver, much to their confusion as he then gave both of them an F, and left.
It has officially been a year since the overused Super Smash Bros Mansion has allowed newcomers to join the current roster, with the soon to be retired members continuing to stay, simply not participating in the new upcoming tournaments like the older retired veterans. A group of different colored Lumas were in the back, circling around the mansion and enjoying themselves while Greninja was hanging on the ceiling, slurping up annoying flies with his big long tongue. While the various male and female Mii Fighters were fighting against each other, Lady Palutena farted loudly on the living room couch, giggling at her brassy, brown stain making toot after the incredibly flatulent Princess Peach Toadstool and the excercise obsessed female Wii Fit Trainer made her appreciate her bodily functions, with both of the different gendered Wii Fit Trainers having a match involving exercise as the different gendered Animal Crossing villagers were attacking each other with nets.
"Nothing like breaking wind to make a cute yet elegant, playful goddess like me feel at home." Palutena admitted as she held her hands down on her dress, smiling as she closed her eyes and tilted her head to the right. "I already feel home at this place after frequently visiting it for mah boi Pit."
It was then that Palutena noticed that Princess Rosalina was hiding in one of the various cardboard boxes that Solid Snake used, the green haired goddess genuinely confused as she lifted the box, spooking Rosalina.
"...What the hell are you doing?" Palutena asked as she blinked, standing off the couch as she placed her hands on her hips.
Rosalina panicked as she grabbed the box and lowered it back down. "Shhh! I'm hiding so no one would beat me up!" She responded, several bruises from before still being visible on her face.
It was then that a strange obnoxious 8 bit noise was heard, with all the Smashers wondering what was it as a giant yellow pizza pie suddenly began moving northward, chomping on everything in its path. Everyone screamed as they hid in fear, with the strange circle gobbling up Rosalina and the box as Palutena smacked the yellow circle with her staff.
"Back!" Palutena exclaimed as she had a determined glare in her eyes. "Back, you weird circle thing! I have a staff, and I'm not afraid to use it!"
The yellow circle then transformed into Pac-Man, who groaned as he rubbed his forehead, closing his eyes. "Oww... did you really have to hit hard?"
Palutena gasped as she widened her eyes, recognizing the yellow ball shaped hero. "Oh my goodness me... are you the legendary Pac-Man!?"
"Dude, you are a legend!" Megaman exclaimed as he jumped out of the couch, raising his arms in the air. "Everyone has been waiting for someone like you!"
"Can you sign my punching gloves?" Little Mac asked as he ran up to Pac-Man.
Pac-Man chuckled as he rubbed the back of his head. "Ehehe, well, you know that I can't really write well..."
It was then that Master Hand popped up, facing Pac-Man. "Ahh, glad to see you're here, Pac-Man! We're having an orientation soon. Care to join us?"
"Sure!" Pac-Man exclaimed as he snapped his fingers, glancing around. "But first... to the kitchen!" He then turned back into a giant yellow pizza pie, munching towards the east, with everyone else shrugging as they went among their business.
"So I see that we got even more newcomers here..." Silver The Hedgehog stated to R.O.B. as they were in the donut shop, with Silver having some jelly filled donuts as R.O.B. watched Jigglypuff and Ganondorf make a new batch together.
"We have around nine now. That means they'll be four left at most." R.O.B. stated as he turned to Silver, raising his metal arms slowly as he moved his robotic head up and down.
It was a fine night at the Smash Mansion near Fourside, with Master Hand and Crazy Hand coming back from a tour around Planet Zebes.
"So I got some newcomers to come by the mansion to join as Smashers." Master Hand stated to Crazy Hand as they were heading westward, floating above all the skyscrapers surrounding the mansion.
Crazy Hand gasped as he did a flip in excitement. "Ooh, are they Shulk and Rayman?"
"...No." Master Hand replied bluntly.
Crazy Hand sighed as he rolled himself around. "Hmm. Are they the Chrous Men?"
Master Hand cleared his throat as he faced Crazy Hand. "No, I'm doing some thinking into that."
"Oh. Then who are they?" Crazy Hand asked as he was quite curious now.
Master Hand opened the front door of the mansion, to see that a white haired swordsman in black was on the big red couch reading a book.
"Oh, hello. Didn't expect to see you two in here." The white haired man stated as he closed up his book, taking a bow. "I'm Robin. I'm the avatar character for Fire Emblem Awakening. Pleased to meet you."
"Well, he seems nice." Crazy Hand stated as he pointed at Robin, with Master Hand moving his fingertips in agreement.
"I concur. You'll make a nice member of the mans-" Master Hand interrupted himself when he inspected Robin. "Wait, did you say you're an avatar?"
"Like the Miis, yes." Robin reassured as he nodded his head. "I also have a female version of myself. She's... like a sister, basically."
"...So you're Male Robin." Crazy Hand stated, with Male Robin nodding.
It was then that they all heard cheering from the garden, with the two hands deciding to check it out as they found the female version of Robin in a burping contest with what appeared to be... Marth.
"I never knew Marth was so gassy." Crazy Hand stated as he noticed all the cans of soda around the wooden bench.
Master Hand observed the blue haired sword user closer, clenching his fist as he turned to Crazy Hand. "That's not Marth at all! That's Lucina!"
"...oh." Crazy Hand responded, with both hands being surprised at how deep pitched Lucina's burping was.
"Give up, Robin! I got you -URP- beat!" Lucina bragged as she folded her arms together, smirking.
Female Robin scoffed as she moved her white hair back. "Ha! I'm just getting started!" She then shook a can of soda violently, opening it and watching the bubbles fizzle as she then drank up the entire carbonated drink, feeling a rumble in her stomach as she let loose a loud belch that blew Lucina back.
The Smashers cheered on as they were amazed at Female Robin, who waved in response as she released one more big belch, with Lucina huffing as she got back onto her feet.
"I just don't understand what makes these girls gassy." Silver The Hedgehog stated to R.O.B. as they were watching alongside the female Animal Crossing Villager and male Wii Fit Trainer.
R.O.B. nodded his robotic head in agreement as he raised his mechanical arms. "It's a tendency for the Smashers to have some things about them exaggerated. It's to be expected."
"...I guess that's a good point," Silver responded as he felt his silver quills blown back by another huge belch from Lucina, with the two female Fire Emblem sword users determined to out burp each other.
"Did you hear about that new leak?" Silver The Hedgehog asked R.O.B. as they were in Falco Lombardi's tavern.
"Yeah. It sounded fake at first, but when I did some analyzing upon how Sakurai works with Smash, it made perfect sense." The Robotic Operation Buddy responded as he lifted his red colored mechanical arms.
Silver nodded as he took a sip of his wine. "Yeah... I tell you, man, these kind of things are just mind boggling. Nintendo can't keep their leaks contained."
"Just like SEGA." Dr. Mario joked as he chuckled, raising an empty glass as Falco took it and poured some green 1-Up mushroom flavored alcohol into it, handing it back to the doctor.
Silver faced Dr. Mario as he rolled his left hand around. "Wait a moment. You got confirmed too?"
"Oh yes I did." Dr. Mario stated as he waved his glass of alcohol about, smiling as his eyes lit up. "Now I can go back to doing my various lab experiments for science, as well as partake in Smash battles and be the doctor for the mansion again."
"...Are there anyone else?" ROB asked as he faced Dr. Mario.
The doctor rubbed his chin as all three watched Lucina scream, being licked by the Koopa Klown Kar as Bowser Junior was trying to control it.
"I swear, I didn't do it on purpose!" Bowser Jr. stated as he was pressing various buttons on his control panel, only for the Koopa Klown Kar to begin punching Lucina in the back, with the older Smashers watching as they cheered on Bowser Jr.
"Gwa ha ha ha! That's mah boi! Beat that shitty, blue haired anime swordsman clone!" Bowser laughed as he rooted on for his son, raising his mug of beer as he chugged it all down while laughing proudly.
Silver, ROB, and Dr. Mario all gave each other odd glances after watching Bowser Jr. chase Lucina out, with Shulk and Dark Pit walking in as all the characters turned their attention to them. Behind them was the Duck Hunt dog, who was simply laughing as the Duck Hunt duck looked over from behind the dog, with everyone feeling even more awkward as a result.
"Did we... come in at a bad time?" Shulk asked as he rubbed the back of his head.
Dark Pit scoffed as he folded his arms. "It seems like it. Notice how everyone's giving us the stink eye?"
"Goddamn fucking anime pretty boys..." Wolf O' Donnell remarked angrily as he was drinking his sorrows away, with Solid Snake doing his best to calm him down. "I can't believe I got replaced by an edgy pallet swap..."
"Hey, you shut up! You're nothing more but an edgy, old, gray Fox rehash!" Dark Pit exclaimed as he grabbed a nearby bar stool and slammed it on Wolf's head, leading to a bar fight. Everyone watched on as Falco quickly sealed up his glasses and bottles of drinks, with Dark Pit and Wolf strangling each other by the neck, several of the Smashers cheering on either of them for the thrill of a bar fight.
"Leaking this game," Bowser Junior stated as he was blasting Dark Pit, Lucina, and Doctor Mario with his cannonballs inside his Koopa Klown Kar as he raised his bandana over his mouth. "WITH NO SURVIVORS!"
Silver The Hedgehog and R.O.B. watched from one of the many cafes in Lumoise City as they watched Bowser Jr. winning his fight against the three clones on the Prism Tower, with Silver sipping his cup of coffee.
"BJ really was quick to adapt," Silver told ROB as he lowered his cup. "Smash Bros must have that effect on folks."
ROB nodded in agreement as he moved his mechanical arms up and down. "I concur. I wonder how the new alts are taking their time at the mansion." He then noticed Bowser Jr. activating his Final Smash and turning into Shadow Mario, waving his Gadd Paintbrush around and a giant orange X appearing, causing all the clones to be blasted in the air as Bowser Jr. fell back down to the floating stage.
Back at the Smash Mansion, which was above the various apartments in the giant Pokemon themed metropolis, the Koopalings were all complaining to Master Hand as he was trying to calm them down.
"Now just calm down, everyone. I'm sure you can understand why you're just alts," Master Hand stated as he was hit with a wand.
"Bullshit!" Ludwig Von Koopa, the oldest Koopaling, complained as he pointed at master Hand. "There's no reason why we all have to share a shot when that literal pallet swap gets to be playable!"
Larry Koopa nodded in agreement as he shook his right fist. "Yeah! Why does Dr. Mario get to be on the roster again, but not us!? He's just Mario in a lab coat!"
"Hey, he actually was playable before, so you can shut up about him," Princess Daisy retorted as she walked past the group, her arms crossed as she clearly was jealous of being billed as just a color swap of Peach again.
Lemmy Koopa simply balanced himself on his ball as he pointed at Master Hand. "What about our businesses? How do you expect us to run them from here while we're playable?"
"Yeah! We do have a life, you know!" Morton Koopa Junior stated as he raised his arms in the air.
Master Hand scoffed as he flexed his fingers. "What, as filler slots in Mario Kart and generic bosses in Mario games?"
Roy Koopa folded his arms as he growled. "You should talk. You're the easiest boss in Super Smash Brothers."
"Enough bitching! Where's our rooms!?" Wendy Koopa stated as she stood in front of the male Koopalings, shaking her arms. "I refuse to share a room with all these looney tunes!"
"Hey, I take appreciation to that!" Iggy Koopa stated as he was laughing crazy, making weird poses as he was creeping out the other Koopalings.
Master Hand sighed as he rolled himself around, explaining, "Look, you just have to get along. Only Bowser Jr. is permitted to have his own room for actually being separate."
"That's not fair to us at all!" Wendy exclaimed as she then began attacking Master Hand.
"Yeah!" The other Koopalings exclaimed in unison as they all jumped on Master Hand, with Iggy deciding to give Female Robin a wedgie, making her scream in pain.
"Nice one, lanky!" Waluigi laughed as he gave Iggy a high five, the both of them spotting Mario and Luigi, who both were wearing dark purple clothes that resembled Waluigi's attire. Waluigi growled as he pulled out his tennis racket and began attacking the Mario brothers, with Iggy shrugging as he jumped into his Koopa Klown Kar and joined Waluigi in the smashing.
Captain Olimar and another lookalike of him, which was actually Alph, Olimar's new alt costume, walked down the hallway as they noticed the Koopaling brawl occurring before them, the two Pikmin captains looking at each other as they had different colored Pikmin with them.
"I don't know about joining this place, Olimar... I don't really want to hurt people," Alph stated as he touched his fingertips together.
Olimar wrapped his right arm around Alph as he shook his head. "I know how you feel, Alph. I'm not fond of the fighting myself, but this place does have kind and gentle characters like us that fight for a living."
"Well, I guess," Alph admitted, as he and Olimar got crushed by the onslaught of Wire Frame Little Macs, Animal Crossing Villagers, and Wii Fit Trainers, who were all being chased by hordes of different Miis.
"R.O.B.?" Silver The Hedgehog nervously asked as he and R.O.B. were hung upside down at the Grand Pianta Statue in Mario Sunshine's Delfino Plaza. "C-can I ask you something? It's important."
"Y-yes, Silver?" R.O.B. remarked as he turned his head to Silver. "I'm all ears, if I had any, that is."
Silver sighed as he closed his eyes, slowly shaking his head as he felt like there was no hope for him or R.O.B. "Mewtwo's going to have his way with us, is he?"
"He would..." R.O.B. trailed off, noticing Mewtwo and the seven Koopalings all teaming up to beat the living shit out of Princess Rosalina and the various, different colored lumas. "...if it weren't for the fact that he's taking all of his pent up anger out on someone else."
It was nighttime on Isle Delfino, yet the activity present would easily match the daytime, as visitors and locals all cheered on Mewtwo, who made his long return to Smash, with him beating Rosalina up like a rag doll, the Koopalings taking care of the Lumas with ease. Mr. Game-and-Watch acted as a referee, with Chrom being the announcer due to having a voice everyone could understand properly.
"This is for taking my spot in the base game and reducing me to be paid DLC!" Mewtwo exclaimed as he had Rosalina in a force grip, causing her to gasp for breath.
Bowser Junior laughed as he was waiting from his Koopa Klown Kar, smiling at the carnage Mewtwo and the Koopalings were dealing to the Peach ripoff and the miniature stars. "This is why I'm so glad I was allowed into Smash Bros. To have fun, and beat the living shit out of anyone I could ever hope to beat."
"Tell me about it." The female, blue shirt Wii Fit Trainer agreed as she stood next to Bowser Jr., with the male, red shirt Animal Crossing Villager nodding his head in agreement as they were patiently awaiting their turn to beat Rosalina up next.
On the side of the battlefield, towards the various fruit shops were Dark Pit and Lucina, who were not only tied up together, but severely beaten up as well. Dr. Mario looked over them, shaking his head as his hands were on his hips.
"I told you guys not to provoke Mewtwo, and yet you did anyway..." Dr. Mario sighed as he shrugged. "What am I going to do with you two...?"
"T-to be fair..." Lucina coughed as she tried to speak up, glancing at Dark Pit. "It w-was his i-idea..."
"S-shut up! You went along with it!" Dark Pit snapped as he groaned in pain, his black wings crippled as he closed his eyes. "Damn that Mewtwo! I'll beat him up in the darkest corner of the mansion if it's the last thing I do!"
"Settle down." Lucario remarked as he was drinking a watermelon smoothie, walking through Delfino Plaza alongside Shadow The Hedgehog as they passed the roped clone duo.
"And I thought I was edgy..." Shadow remarked with a chuckle as he took a sip of his watermelon smoothie, having gotten it from Gelato Beach alongside Lucario, with both of them returning to the front pier to watch Mewtwo knock Rosalina out cold, a pool of blood surrounding her as most of the watchers gasped in shock, noticing that Mewtwo might have gone a bit overboard with his rage.
Master Hand and Crazy Hand were present as well, with the Master Core and Tabuu lurking behind them as Master Hand sighed, clenching himself. Crazy Hand noticed this, while Master Core and Tabuu didn't say a word.
"This is going to cost us even more funds..." Master Hand murmured to himself as he now had to rely on Dr. Mario to revive Rosalina, who was actually killed in battle from all the damage Mewtwo and the Koopalings dealt to her.
The Duck Hunt Dog and Duck were in the shadows of the building overlooking the pier towards the ocean, both of their eyes glowing brightly as they growled, having been left out. Ridley popped up, flying just above them as he dove onto the stage, snatching the dead Rosalina and munching on her as a after dinner snack, much to everyone's surprise.
And that was just the beginning... of the DLC train of bullshit...
The Duck Hunt stage seemed to be pretty innocent, right? Ha ha... that's not what you would believe if you were there, as the Duck Hunt dog was beating up Rosalina and her yellow Luma partner with ease, the dog chuckling at every instance of Rosalina getting her butt handed to her as Silver The Hedgehog and R.O.B. were sitting in the green grass, with several other Duck Hunt dogs sniffing around them, their ducks all staring at the two characters.
"Man, that dog seems more friendly than his infamous stature let on," Silver remarked as he blushed, his eyes widening as he felt the Dalmatian Duck Hunt dog sniffing up his butt.
R.O.B. nodded as he slowly patted the yellow Duck Hunt dog on the head, turning his robotic head to Silver. "Well, he works well as a partner with his duck partner. Some could say that the entire game of Duck Hunt is one big act." He then felt urine pouring on him, turning his head behind to see that the dark brown Duck Hunt dog with the red duck was peeing on him, glaring at the dog as he chuckled, pointing at R.O.B. The dog was then smashed into the air by R.O.B.'s side A, the robot turning to Silver, freaking out the other dogs. "I prefer when they don't do that."
"Do tell." Silver commented as he noticed the red shirt male Animal Crossing villager and the blue shirt female Wii Fit Trainer were helping out the main, orange tinted Duck Hunt dog with the purple head, blue bodied duck take on Rosalina, who had all sorts of injuries other her body, her face being blooded as she was getting to weak to fight back.
All was going well in the Kongo Jungle from Smash Bros 64, with the dark abyss surrounding the jungle stage having been replaced with tropical palm trees and audience seating as there was a current match going on, with the female blue shirt Wii Fit Trainer and the male, red shirt Animal Crossing Villager on the green team, fighting against Female Robin and the Duck Hunt dog, who were on their own teams, her red and him blue.
"You know, I never seemed to understand Sakurai." Silver The Hedgehog stated as he and R.O.B. were watching the fight from the eastern side, looking westward.
"Why would you think that, Silver?" R.O.B. asked, lowering his arms after witnessing the Wii Fit Trainer using her Final Smash.
"First he says he wants to please everyone, then he says he can't please everyone. It's like the man is a puzzle!' Silver exclaimed as he flailed his arms about.
R.O.B. murmured as he nodded his head. "Perhaps there's more to Sakurai than we realize..."
Lady Palutena farted loudly as she giggled, slightly embarrassed as she fanned away her waft, everyone annoyed at her brassy gas blast.
"Whoo wee! Excuse me!" Palutena laughed as she had her eyes closed. "That stink might convince people to buy a WiiU!"
Silver folded his arms together as he suspiciously eyed Palutena. "I thought you said that all farts in general were gross AND dangerous."
"Oh, they are." Palutena remarked as she smiled, wrapping her right arm around Silver. "But it's okay when I do it!"
The green haired goddess released another thundering, deep pitched poot, the sulfur like smell hitting Rosalina right in the face, making her fall out of her seat as she fell into the dark abyss below. Lucina gasped in shock as she placed her hands over her mouth cutely with the different colored Lumas panicking while Dark Pit laughed, pointing at the empty seat formerly occupied by Space Peach, with the Green Team winning the battle as Fem Robin was losing. The other newcomers just ignored it as they tried to ignore Palutena's flatulence, with Lucario punching Mewtwo for every snide remark the psychic type cat Pokemon made about the odd occurrences in the audience.
Dick Dastardly and Muttley were racing around the Smash Mansion as they ran over Rosalina, who was tyring to do some gardening wsith her Lumas.
"Drat, and double drat! I think I ran over some garbage!" Dick Dastardly cursed as he then knocked down Mewtwo, Lucas, and Roy,l who were all tyring to clean up the garbage littered around the park.
Muttley laughed as he chucked a smart bomb at the two different gendered Wii Fit Trainers, blowing them up as he fired a rocket at the two Robins, causing them to be sent high into the sky.
"Great cheating, Muttley, we'll be able to-" Dick Dastardly was cut off as Bowser Junior zipped by in his own Junior Clown Car.
"Can you keep up, loser?" taunted Bowser Jr. as he fired of a cannonball at the Mean Machine, making it spin as he laughed. He then grabbed his magic paintbrush and transformed into Shadow Mario, taking off.
Dick Dastardly and Muttley coughed as Lady Palutena farted in front of their faces, bending over as she was having a farting contest with Lucina, who was trying to be as gassy as the flatulent Goddess of Light. Dark Pit was digging some knives into his right arm because he was an edgy piece of dork shit, while Alph was running away from the seven Koopalings, who rode in their own clown cars.
As if things couldn't get worse, Ryu showed up out of nowhere, punching the Mean Machine high into the sky. Dick Dastardly and Muttley screamed as they held each other, looking around to see Greninja jumping from cloud to cloud, with the Miis all cheering as Mega Man and Pac Man were having a battle to see who was better.
"I really feel something terrible is gonna happen!" Shulk exclaimed as he sensed the future, moving to the side to see Dick Dastardly and Muttley crash.
Dr. Mario then inspected the injured pair, with the various Animal Crossing villagers being curious as Little Mac stopped by on his jog, to see hat the hubbub was about. Zero Suit Samus and Shiek, who were doing some training, also took the time to stop as they were curious as to what the damage was.
"Drat, drat, and DOUBLE drat!" Dick Dastardly cursed as Charizard lit him on fire, causing him to jump out and run away, screaming as he was on fire.
The Duck Hunt Duo approached Muttley, who got out of the car. The Duck Hunt duck simply watched Dick Dastardly burning the entire grassy meadow to the ground with the other Smashers, while both Muttley and the Duck Hunt dog laughed in unison.
"Hey guys..." Cloud Strife stated as he walked into the mansion, greeting everyone. "Surprised... to see me?"
Princess Rosalina farted, pooped herself, and then died of a heart attack (which was all right since no one liked her), with the Lumas all circling around her and crying. Lady Palutena farting and screaming joyfully as both of the Robins looked at each other, with Bowser Junior face palming while the Koopalings had mixed expressions on their faces. Lucina gasped as she dropped her sword in shock, with Dark Pit scoffing as usual, his arms crossed together. Greninja just rolled his eyes as he couldn't believe how low Sakurai was going in regard to roster pics, with MegaMan raising his hands and leaving the mansion in disgust. Alph just stared blankly, while the Wii Fit Trainers were eager to train the new anime swordsman. The Mii Fighters were all trying to get their mittens on Cloud first, beating each other up for him, while the Duck Hunt dog laughed as the duck just yawned ripped off his clothes as he was really feeling the presence of Cloud, while Little Mac was sweating due to how much taller and sexier Cloud was. The Animal Crossing villagers had creepy stares as they knew just the perfect guy to play dirty pranks on.
All the other Smashers that were veterans were simply silent, as none of them knew what to make of the situation.
"...Welcome, Cloud!" Master Hand exclaimed, attempting to break the silence, despite Palutena farting and gleefully yelling still. "You're gonna make a great Smasher! Just wait until we book Master Chief!"
"Oh God... why do I feel a chest pain?" Silver The Hedgehog remarked in disgust as he turned to R.O.B.
"Because 'Mishion Form God' just became real," R.O.B. exclaimed as he noticed Cloud approaching them to chat, with the Mii fighters still fighting over him.
"So... Nintendo is literally making Smash Bros the site known as DeviantArt..." Ryu remarked as he had his arms folded.
"To be fair, it was like that ever since we got Fat Emo Blue Space Peach," Pac-Man remarked, pointing at the wild gunmen shooting at the dead corspe of Not Elsa.
"Holy shit... this is bad." Sonic remarked in disbelief, feeling disgusted, as did almost all the Smashers.
"Who the hell is that ripoff of me?" The Robins asked about the totally original avatar characters, Corrin.
"Clearly EVERYONE loves anime swordsmen..." Pac-Man sarcastically quipped with Silver The Hedgehog and R.O.B. shaking their heads in disappointment.
"Why the hell is she here?" Dark Pit growled while pointing at Bayonetta.
"...where's Master Chief?" Ryu sighed in disappointment.
Both of the Corrins and Bayonetta were then farted on by Palutena. And then ran over by a Landmaster. Master Hand didn't care enough to revive them. And he killed Rosalina for good measure.
Fuck Sakurai, goddamn it you shitty hack nobody likes you
Silver The Hedgehog and R.O.B. watched from the balcony of R.O.B.'s room as all the Smashers teamed up together to beat up both of the Corrins and Rosalina on the front yard of the Smash Mansion, with Bayonetta walking up to the two as she wondered why the Robotic Operating Buddy wasn't joining in on the fighting, it being a nice full night.
"What's wrong, deary?" Bayo stated as she wrapped her right arm around R.O.B. "How come you're not willing to join in beating up that literal advertisement from that waste of a series called Fire Emblem? Don't you want to trash thm?"
"...you know, it's just not worth it." R.O.B. stated as he shook his metal head, turning to Bayo. "I mean, it's nice that we have new fighters coming in, but... sometimes you need to know when to quit. And personally... I don't feel like giving the Corrins a hard time."
"Yeah... I'm all too familiar with being a base breaker..." Silver sighed in agreement as he had his arms wrapped around the back of his head. "I think things should just pan out. Maybe Corrin won't be so hated down the line."
Bayonetta scoffed as she brushed back her black hair. "Well, I was a bit of a base breaker myself, and I don't let it get to me. Besides..." She did one of her taunts, winking. "People aren't mad at me... they just don't like the... politics, surrounding me, shall we say."
"Oh yeah, that was bullshit." R.O.B. spoke back as he lifted himself up, "I mean, there's no doubt you're popular, but Mr. Sakurai was really pulling lies out of his ass."
"Not the first time he did that." The pink colored female Villager stated as she was hovering in front of the three characters with her red balloons, heading back to the Corrin bashing.
"...doesn't help that Sakurai also has idiots who blindly defend whatever he does," Silver added in.
R.O.B. and Bayonetta mumbled in agreement with the silver colored psychic hedgehog as they watched several Lumas get knocked into oblivion, with Princess Daisy farting in tight jeans as she walked by the intense battle, all the Smashers briefly pausing to see the orange haired tomboy princess ripping deep pitched brassy tuba poots of smelly bassy flatulence from her stinky fat ass, which was noticeable in her orange colored, heavily brown stained pants. Luigi fainted from the sexiness of this, with everyone rolling their eyes at this as they then went back to beating up the Corrins and unconscious Rosalina.
"...anyway, blatant meme magic and fetish fuel aside, I think this was updated late just because it was done to spite Sakurai." Silver remarked as he rolled his right hand around.
"Well, his loss. Sakurai, I mean." Bayonetta remarked with a smirk, adjusting her glasses. "Because he's not getting a single cent out of Smash now that people... found a way."
R.O.B. and Silver exchanged glances with each other as they watched Bayonetta chuckle and stylishly glide back into the Corrin (and Rosalina) bashfest, realizing that she was talking about the 'art' of pirating.
"So... how do you like it?" Master Hand asked the orange colored Inkling girl in his office.
The Inkling shrugged. "It all right. This feels tasteless and lukewarm, but... it alright."
"You can say that again." Link said while walking around in his BOTW costume.
"How come we don't get a new chapter?" The blue colored Inkling boy pointed out.
"Because a shitty game doesn't deserve an extra chapter," Ridley grumbled while doing his janitor duties, as he was still upset about the whole thing.
"Hey, what about us you giant floating hand?" King K. Rool asked as he and the others were right outside Master Hand's office.
"There's no room for anyone in the story. Just come back in a few years," Master Hand said as he snapped his fingers in such a powerful manner, bringing the entire crappy story to a much needed close.
FAN: Again, outside four lines in total (with it being at the start and the end), this entire story you have just read was originally done by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus when Trash Bros 4 was actually relevant. The original story this was taken from has since been changed up ever since.