Disclaimer: I do not own them, i am not making any money off of this obsession. But my therapist is.

"Spoilers: Drive

A/N: Mulder looks really skinny at the end of Drive. That thought birthed this story. Contraceptives would have been a good idea.

Knowing Fox Mulder for so long often gave her the advantage when it came to reading his emotions. Sometimes he threw her a curveball, but most of the time he was pretty transparent.

He stood still, looking out over the ocean, his posture and expression exuding only one thing. Do Not Approach.

She leaned up against the car for a long time, just watching him. He looked like he had been losing weight. His eyes were dim, his skin lighter than normal. It almost reminded her of the time his water had been drugged.

A cool breeze kicked up and she walked towards him, knowing that there was only one safe way to go about this.

"Mulder? We should go."

He turned and looked at her, his eyes steely gray and hollow. He nodded and she reached out for his hand, gently tugging him towards the car. He followed slowly and settled into the passenger's seat. She started the car and began to drive towards town, glancing at him every few moments.

"You okay?"

"Fine."

I guess I could sympathize with him next time he tells me how annoying that response is, her brain muttered.

"Do you want to get a hotel or try and fly out tonight?"

"Whatever, Scully."

This mood had once been rare, but had been making more of an appearance in the last few months. Mulder blamed it on the office burning down. Scully blamed it on Diana Fowley. They hadn't talked about it.

She sighed and decided to check into a hotel for the night. Mulder was probably sore from driving and to stick him on a plane for several hours would just make matters worse. She drove for a while before finding a hotel that was slightly nicer than their usually fare. It would have to be on her dime, but at this point, she didn't really care.

"Mulder? Want to come in with me?"

He shook his head.

"M-" she stuttered out before stopping. She decided to cut her losses with this one and move on. He'd feel better after some pizza, bad TV and some sleep. She got out of the car and headed inside.

"What can I do for you, ma'am?"

"I need 2 rooms for one night."

"If only you needed one room for two nights I could help you out. We're almost booked. I've got one single left."

"A single."

"Yeah."

She sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose.

"Fine. I'll take it."

She handed him her credit card and he gave her the key in return.

"Check out is noon."

"Thanks."

She left the office and joined Mulder back at the car.

"So I take it we're not flying out tonight?"

"I thought we could both use some sleep."

He nodded as she went around to open the trunk.

"Mulder, you could at least get your bag."

"How do you have it?"

"We got them out of the other rental car."

He nodded, resigned to the fact that he wasn't really able to listen to her. He had too much going through his head to bother with details.

"We're going to have to share, Mulder. You okay with that?"

He shrugged and followed her into the room, setting his bag down by the door.

"Mulder, you should go take a shower and change."

"I smell that bad?"

"No, but it'll make you feel better."

He opened his suitcase and found some running shorts and a t-shirt, and took them into the bathroom with him. Scully sighed and flopped down on the side of the bed that was furthest from the door. She was at her wits end as to what to do about him. He just seemed so lost lately. It wasn't just the anger or the frustration. He seemed lost within himself. He had lost his purpose and his drive. It was quite possibly the most heartbreaking thing she had ever seen.

She rubbed her eyes and kicked off her shoes and tried to think of a way to give him purpose again. She wanted to see that spark in his eyes. She wanted to hear that tone in his voice. She wanted him to forget all the hardships and focus on the future.

Mulder came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, looking only slightly better.

"It's all yours if you want it."

"No, I'm okay."

She watched as he walked towards his suitcase, throwing his towel on the floor along the way. He pulled a pair of socks out of the bag and put them on, then ran his hand through his wet hair.

"Mulder, lay down."

"What?"

"Come lay down. You're in pain."

"I'm fine."

"You're walking funny. Did you tweak your back again?"

"Scully-"

"Mulder just lie down and let me help you."

He sighed and lay down on the bed, burying his face in the pillow. She was quiet as she began to work the knots out of his back. It was probably better to give him a few more minutes before trying to get him to talk. As open as he was about his emotions, he could be just as closed off.

"Mulder I think I might recommend you go to the doctor and get some muscle relaxers."

"Why?"

"Because you're going to ruin your muscles if you keep carrying the world on them."

"I don't want muscle relaxers. I might pull a Judy Garland. As much as that may relieve a lot of stress on a lot of people, I don't really want to go out like that."

"Fine. Then I'm sending you to a masseuse."

"If she's hot."

"Aw, you're almost back to normal."

She sighed a little and finished with his shoulders before moving down his back just slightly.

"You want to talk about it, Mulder?"

"Nope."

"How many times am I going to have to ask you before you give up and talk to me?"

"Leave it alone Scully."

"You're going to have to say something sooner or later."

"Later. Much later."

"Would you talk to Diana?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's just a question. Would you?"

"You're trying to entrap me."

"I'm not. I just want to help you."

"I don't need your help."

The words physically hurt and she thought she might yelp in pain. She slowly moved away from him and went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. She splashed water on her face, reminding herself to breathe. They were just words. Words said in frustration. They didn't mean anything.

"Scully?"

"What?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she said firmly.

He opened the door, took one look at her face and reached his hand out for her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that the way it came out. I just meant that there's nothing wrong. You don't need to help me with anything because there's nothing to help me with."

"It's okay if you don't need me. I just never thought you'd tell me like that."

"Scully."

"It doesn't matter, Mulder. It's not a big deal."

"You're lying."

"Don't worry about it."

"But-"

"I'm not going to talk to you about this until you talk to me about your thing and I asked you first, so spill."

"Scully did you ever think that maybe I don't want to tell you stuff because you hold enough of my baggage already? Maybe I want to spare you."

"Mulder are we friends?"

"What?"

"Are we friends? Honestly."

"Yes, of course. You're my best friend."

"Do you want me to keep things from you? Even to spare you?"

"No, but-"

"Mulder if we're friends and we're equals, then you have to tell me just as much as I tell you. That's the way it works."

"Well then I don't have to tell you anything."

"Of course you do!"

"Nope. You don't tell me anything, so I don't have to tell you."

"What are we, ten?"

"I didn't start this fight."

"This is a fight? Mulder, I swear."

"Well what would you call it, a public forum?"

"Why can't you just talk to me? Tell me what's wrong. Tell me why you're so angry all the time and why you yell at me and you close off and you brood and... you're not the same person you were six months ago. What happened to him?"

"Scully... I was too naïve for too long. I was tired of thinking that someday things would all work out. They won't."

"But... how do you know?"

"Because I'm not an idiot."

She pushed past him and left the bathroom. He followed her, his hands on his hips.

"What?"

"Mulder just... forget it."

"No. You're so hell bent on this and now it's just going to build up until it explodes in my face. Talk to me, Scully."

His tone was mocking and she glared at him.

"Screw you."

"Very mature."

"What do you want from me, Mulder? I already told you how I felt. I'm worried about you. You're losing weight. You're angry all the time. You hardly eat. You sleep less than you ever have before. You ignore me unless you're yelling. You don't care about your job or your health or even finding your sister. Does Diana really hold that much power over you? Did she really mess you up that bad?"

He stood up from the chair where he had been putting his shoes on and she suddenly realized just how angry he had become.

"I'm leaving," was all he managed to get out before he headed towards the door. Scully moved quickly to beat him there, running over the bed in the process. She blocked the door with her body, knowing he would never force her to move.

"You can't leave. This is a fight and you can't leave during a fight."

"Scully-"

"You're just mad that I brought up Diana, aren't you? You will protect her with your life. And why? What does she do that makes her so good? Why does she deserve that special treatment? You wouldn't defend me like this, not in a million years."

"You and Diana are different people and it's not fair to compare you two."

"I know we're different. She doesn't love you like I do."

"I'm just your pet project. You want to fix me so you can feel good about yourself. You don't love me. You never have."

She reached out and slapped him before she could even process what he had said. It was such a natural reaction... but not for her. He looked stunned for a second, but then she could see the anger begin to rise in his eyes. For a moment she was almost scared of him, and she blinked rapidly to deny the feeling.

"Get out of my way, Scully."

"No."

He grabbed her shoulders, possibly a little harder than he should have, but still almost gently and moved her aside.

"Mulder... we have a flight to catch in the morning," she muttered, for lack of anything better to say.

"Don't worry about me. I'll find my own way home."

He slammed the door behind him.

How dare she? Mulder thought to himself, as his feet pounded at the sand. Scully had no right to question him. She had no right to question Diana. She just had no right period. Sure they had been through a lot, and yes, they were friends, but that didn't mean that she could demand that he share things with her. That didn't make sense in anyway. She just had no right.

He shook his head. He was wrong. She had every right to question him. They were partners. She needed to know what was going on in his head, for her own safety. And she cared about him, he could give her that. But that didn't mean he had to tell her his every emotion.

He slowed his running down slightly and wiped the sweat from his forehead. He hated fighting with her. Even when she was wrong, he would rather pretend she was right than yell at her. A little piece of their relationship broke apart when they fought. And at the rate they were going, by Christmas, there would be nothing left to stand on. By Easter, she could be gone.

The thought sickened him. No matter how mad he got at her, no matter how many doors he wanted to slam in her face, no matter how many roads he wanted to leave her on the side of, he never wanted to lose her. Ever. He'd rather lose anything else in his life. But never his Scully.

"Fox! Is that you?"

His head snapped up at the sound of a woman's voice. He immediately ran through the list of women that called him Fox. Diana. Phoebe. His mother. Mrs. Scully. Tara Scully. Bingo. This day could not get any worse.

Bill and Tara were sitting on the beach not 10 feet from him. There was no escape. He would have to make small talk. He mentally cursed himself for inadvertently being in the same state as them.

"Hi guys."

"What are you doing here?" Bill asked, very obviously not moving to shake his hand. "Is Dana with you?"

"She's um, back at the hotel."

"I didn't know you two were in town," Tara said, brushing sand off of Matthew's hand.

"We had a case. It took an unexpected detour."

"As do most of your cases it seems."

Mulder glanced at Bill and realized that the man was actually making a joke, not putting him down. Maybe it was the sun.

"Do you think we could call Dana and get her to come down here?" Tara asked hopefully.

"I don't know," he said, looking down the beach. "I'm um... I'm not even sure where our hotel is. I kind of left in a hurry."

"You two had a fight?"

"I guess you could call it that."

Tara scrutinized him for a second before gasping.

"Fox, did she hit you?"

His face immediately colored as he remembered the feel of her hand on his face. He touched the area gently, wondering how big the mark was.

"It was my fault."

They both looked at him, their expressions clearly showing that they wanted more of an explanation.

"I shouldn't have said what I said."

"What did you say?"

He sighed. Why he would confide in Bill and Tara, he didn't know, but stranger things had happened.

"I told her she didn't love me."

He felt like a 5 year old confessing that he pushed a girl down on the playground. Bill chuckled and stood up.

"Mulder, you've got a lot to learn. Walk with me."

He had no other choice. He walked.

"You know my sister actually does love you, right? I don't know why she does, but there is no talking her out of it. She's very stubborn if you haven't noticed."

"Believe me, I know. But she doesn't love me, Bill. She cares about me, and she's loyal, but she doesn't love me."

"You're a moron."

"What?"

"Do you think Dana would stick up for anyone else the way she does for you? Last time I saw her, the two of you were fighting about something. I don't know what it was, and I didn't really care. But even then, no matter how mad she was at you, she defended you. She told me that she loves you. My sister does not say that about many people. You've got her, hook line and sinker."

"She shouldn't love me."

"Believe me, I touted that line louder than anyone. But she's made up her mind. You're stuck with her. And as much as I hate to admit it, my sister is a big girl. She can make her own decisions. So if she has decided that you are going to be in her life, then I'm not going to fight it."

"You're not? Why the change of heart?"

"Dana loves you more than she has ever loved anyone. And I know this because she cries over you more than she has ever cried over anyone. That is some intense love there. I hate the fact that you make her cry, but at least her feelings for you are that deep. I can't fight that. I hate that she has a dangerous job, but I can't hold her back. She's going to do what she needs to do."

"Never a truer word has been spoken."

"Whatever you two are fighting about, you need to fix it. Now."

"I know."

"Get yourself a cab and go back to her. And call us before you leave town. We'd like to have you over for dinner if there's time."

Mulder nodded as Bill reached out to shake his hand. They shared a smile before Mulder turned and started to head back.

"And Mulder?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't ever walk out on her in a fight. It only makes things worse."

"I figured."

When he got back to the hotel it was almost ten o'clock. He unlocked the door quietly and stepped inside, finding her asleep on the bed. She was curled up on her side, facing the door, but sleeping soundly. He walked over to the bed and watched her for a moment. There were tear tracks on her cheeks, and his stomach began to hurt from the guilt. He never wanted to make her cry. He hated when she cried at all, but when it was his fault, that was the worst.

He leaned down and kissed her cheeks, wishing the tears away. She stirred slightly and he pulled away as her eyes opened.

"Mulder?"

"Hi."

"Where did you go?"

"Doesn't matter. I found my way home."

She smiled a little and reached up to touch his face.

"I'm sorry I hit you."

"What I said was far worse."

"Mulder."

"I was mad. I know you love me. I know how much it must have hurt when I questioned that."

She nodded and sucked back the few tears that were about to fall.

"Can you forgive me?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

"Can we talk about it?"

"Let's just let it be for now. We can talk when we get back to DC."

"Alright."

"Is there room in this bed for me, or should I sleep in the chair?"

She grinned and patted the bed next to her.

"There's room, but no funny business. Got it?"

"Funny weird or funny haha?"

"Mulder."

He chuckled and kicked his shoes off before climbing in next to her.

"You smell like the ocean," she commented as she scooted a little closer to him.

"I went for a run."

"Oh."

"I ran into Bill and Tara."

"What?"

"They were at the beach."

"And Bill didn't throttle you?"

"Bill and I had a nice talk. We're invited over for dinner if we can make it."

"I'm in shock."

"Thought you would be."

He slid his arm around her and she rested her head on his chest so she could hear his heart beating.

"Mulder?"

"Hmm?"

"Can we please never fight again?"

He chuckled and kissed her hair.

"It will be a noble experiment. But like prohibition..."

"It will fail miserably."

"How about this. Let's just agree that we never want to fight again. We want to talk things out like normal adults."

"Yes. We need to be rational about this."

"Scientific even."

She smiled and stretched up to kiss his cheek.

"Mulder, no matter what kind of crap we say to each other, at the end of the day, you're still my best friend."

"And you're mine."

He tipped her chin up slowly and leaned down and kissed her.

"And I love you."

She smiled sleepily and ran her fingers through his hair.

"I love you too, Mulder. And don't you forget it."

"I won't."

He tugged the blankets up around them and pulled her as close as he could.

"Night, Scully."

"Night."

His hand found its way to the small of her back, the place it had been absent from for so long. She sighed softly, glad he had finally found his way home.