AN: Hello, fellow fans of Critical Role! Thank you for taking the time to read this little meandering, exploratory... Thing. I'm not sure what I'm to do with this story as I am simply discovery writing it until it comes to a natural conclusion. I have an idea of where the story will go, and I have a schedule to work on it reliably every day, so expect weekly (hopefully) updates.
With this story I aim to explore the idea of healing through roleplaying, as my experience as a dungeon master and player in our group for over 3 years has helped me move past trauma, grow more as a person, and become more understanding, daring, confident, and empathetic.
My role is more the dungeon master. How about yours? Let me know! And now, without further ado.
"Can I ask you something?" Grog's voice echoed in the void beyond consciousness. "Are you afraid?"
"I'm going to visit my mother. And I'll see all you again."
Weightlessness. The words drifted around and through the goliath like a dull cold as the world became utterly still.
The feeling of falling quickly shunted the memory into a blur of motion. And with the sound of rushing wind, it all came to an abrupt stop.
Grog Strongjaw yelped in surprise as he shot up from his bed- and slammed his forehead directly into the wooden frame of the bunk atop his. Another figure above cried out, the voice a much higher pitch than his own, as they were flung from the top bunk onto the stone floor. Grog turned to face the bundle of blankets and limbs that fell from the top bunk, clearing his eyes to get a better look.
"Grog!" Scanlan's voice came as he threw the sheets off of his head. A pair of tanned, muscular legs stuck out past either side of his head as Pike lifted the other side off of her revealing her scarred, but fair face, more than a little red.
"The dream again?" Pike said breathlessly as she brushed her hair from her face revealing eyes alight with worry.
Grog looked away, avoiding Pike's disarming gaze. "Hey, nobody told me we were having a slumber party. The burly goliath said in his trademark baritone, forcing a smile as pieces of wood fell into his beard. Pike was supposed to be in the lady's wing of the castle, after all.
Pike pursed her lips. Did she see through him? See the real fear that lingered behind his grogginess? It wasn't like the goliath barbarian ever had a knack for deception.
The door creaked open, causing Grog and the tangled Pike and Scanlan to turn to it. Percival and Vex'ahlia stepped inside, pistol and bow drawn.
"What happened!?" Both of them shouted, alert eyes darting to all possible points of entry. Vex caught on first, shoulders lowering as she regarded the two gnomes with a smile.
"Ow." Grog grunted as he pulled a huge splinter from his eyebrow.
Scanlan hastily pulled himself from the blankets and forced a wide smile. At that moment Grog realized that Scanlan's naked rear looked almost exactly like two sweet buns baked in the same tin. But, still the words lingered, the words he had heard in his dreams every night for the last two weeks. The words he spoke yet knew not why.
Are you afraid?
It was the third of Brussendar and it was shaping up to be a scorcher. The morning sun that filtered through Whitestone Castle's elegant stained glass windows warmed the sweat from Grog Strongjaw's skin in an attempt to wipe away last night's nightmare. The sun framed by blue sky always reminded him of Pike, his bastion of positivity, of inspiration, of hope and protection. Up until a few weeks ago, Grog had always considered the diminutive gnome utterly infallible, but it turned out even the champion of the Everlight can have family drama what with her crazy Uncle Ogden and all.
The goliath was beginning to realize that people could never fit into the simple molds our minds might place them in. After all, as the champion of joy and Kord's strength that he so often considered himself, he certainly felt like a storm cloud had been hovering over him the last month- and it wasn't the good kind of storm cloud that would shoot lightning and make bad guys do the herky-jerky.
"Grog!" Keyleth exclaimed.
"Yeh-wot?"
The group, his party, Vox Machina surrounded the solitary goliath at the banquet table in the dining room of Whitestone Castle, their eyes fixed on him in bewilderment. Sun shone brightly through the windows, illuminating the once-dreary fortress with summer's light.
"Have you listened to anything I've been saying?" The druidess asked.
"No. Honestly I was just thinking about how cool it is when you can make a storm and then shoot lightning like "krakoom! Woosh! KAPO-"
"Grog." Pike's voice was firm and authoritative, and it immediately made the tall warrior straighten up in his creaking wooden seat.
"Roight, sorry. I'll listen up. I'm just so hungry." He pouted. "Grog-y needs his break-y."
His friends regarded him with skepticism, and most of them looked to Pike for guidance on what to do next like nervous children looking to their mother in an unfamiliar place.
"That's the third time you've either spaced out or changed the subject when we've tried to talk to you about Va-"
"Champions! Breakfast is served." A Whitestone master servant proclaimed as other well-dressed attendants spread a banquet of silver platters and goblets about the wide but Grog groaned at the interruption, putting their palms to their foreheads as Vox Machina returned to their seats. Cassandra had taken her breakfast in her study as she had just received a good deal of research notes from the good lady Allura just the evening before. That's what Grog told them, though the Goliath knew the truth.
"Thank you, dear Abraham." Percival smiled as he assisted setting down the food and drink, much to the servant's surprise. "Grog, you're staring."
"I- er- was doing nothing of the sort!" Grog retorted, not realizing he was so deep in contem… Contempluh- so deep in thought.
The food looked incredible, but the chef had expressed dismay at having to cook a meal for the realm's champions with such little time to prepare. It wasn't like many of them had had much time to prepare since Grog had called this emergency meeting, drawing the recently victorious and spread-out Vox Machina from all over Tal'dorei and beyond. It wasn't yet that Grog had revealed to them the reason for the sudden meeting.
But reveal I shall.
However, if there was one thing that could improve a goliath's mood (or get him to loosen up), it was good food and good ale. Tankards of amber ale filled the white-clothed space around Grog's towering plate of food, and for the moment Grog wished that plate could protect him from the conversation he was steeling himself for. Thankfully it would be after tonight's festivities. He'd need his faculties undivided for this one.
Percival smiled at his wife, who, still glaring narrow-eyed at Grog, impaled a forkful of food on her plate before taking a bite.
The heir to the De Rolo family sighed as he tucked in a handkerchief to his collar. "Grog, would you please just tell us why you called us here. Not that I'm complaining being around my favorite people in the world, it was just-" He said before he was cut off by his raven-haired wife.
"We were in the middle of our honeymoon."
Oh, that was right. Vex and Percy were traveling to celebrate their marriage- a concept alien to one who grew up in a goliath herd. Still, Grog knew they had a long list of places they wanted to visit, so he hoped he hadn't caught them someplace inconvenient like Marquet
"We had to cancel our inn reservations upon receiving a message of 'upmost' importance." Vex continued. "Do you know you have to book reservations at the Jewel of Marquet month in advance?"
A pregnant pause took over the room.
Grog groaned inwardly, suddenly riddled with guilt, and he wilted like a dried up treant under Vex's barrage.
"Don't you mean 'utmost?'" Keyleth asked.
"No. I don't."
"Sorry." Grog's mouth was half full with meat salad as he spoke. "I did my own spell-checking."
Vex's jaw dropped. "That's not what I-" She sighed, pulling her hair out of her face. "Grog darling, I'm very proud of your progress, but you can't just expect everyone to drop what they're doing and travel across Exandria at your beck and call. Now please just tell us why everyone is here."