Les Mémoires

By.Darkdisaster16

disclaimer – Yeah right, Final Fantasy is mine, all mine. Now I must be off I'm late for my appointment with my shrink. Bye.

I stand here, memories flying through my mind like movies. I only wish my brother was here.

I ran happily through the crowed streets of Rabanastre, pulling my brother behind me. "Vaan slow down, bud, you're going to pull my arm out of the socket!" he laughed and gave his arm one good tug witch sent me sprawling into his arms. He picked me up into a hug then put me down.

"Tell you what, since you're in such a hurry, you can get on my back and I'll carry you the rest of the way."

I had to think for a moment, I do like running but my legs do hurt from all the walking I did today, and I couldn't pass a chance to be in brother's arms. "ok."

He smiled, bent down, and gave me a soft kiss on the head. I really hate the fact that he has to bend down so far, he is only two years older than me and he is a lot taller. Mom says that I'll get tall soon and not to rush it, but I still don't like it! I smiled back and hopped on. I wrapped my legs tightly around his back, not wanting to fall, but as I did, I felt a weird feeling surge through my body. I tried hard to forget the feeling but the harder I tried, the worse it got.

Reks rushed through the crowd faster then I ever could. I sighed and nuzzled my head into the crook of his neck. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. He smelled so good and he felt so warm, I never wanted to leave his arms. I heard his name being called. I looked up to see a Bangaa, I knew him as Reks' friend. I felt my brother slow then stop.

"Vince, what's up?" As they got into deep conversation I could feel another emotion rise in me, jealousy.

It seamed to take forever for him to finish that stupid conversation. Jealousies still coursing through my veins.

"Vaan, what did mom say we needed?" he turned his head almost all the way around to try and see me but with no avail.

I simply shrugged not feeling much like talking to him right now. He put me down gingerly and turned to look at me "Are you feeling OK, buddy?" He asked placing a soft hand to my forehead and then one to his own.

I felt my face light up like a newly lit firecracker from the contact " hum, you are kind of warm. We should get you inside before you take a heat stroke on me." I nodded and let Reks lead me into The Sandsea.

"Now, what was it that mom told us to do?" Reks muttered walking up to the counter.

"Aw, yes, I remember now, all she said was to go up to Tomaj and tell him that she sent us."

He drummed his fingers off the edge of the bar, his ring shining brilliantly even in the dull light of the Sandsea. I remember when Dad would wear it and Reks would stare at it for hours on end. Finally, Dad decided to give him the ring for his birthday.

"Reks! What can I do for you?" Tomaj shouted, breaking my train of thought and making several viera jump from the suddenness, not to mention loudness of it.

" Tomaj, Mom said you had some stuff she needed us to pick up. She's sick so she can't do it herself," Reks answered, sighing. He was right, both of our parents had been sick for a while and they just couldn't seem to break it.

I spaced out again, my ability to pay attention wasn't great. Penelo always called me ADD. I stood there for what seemed like forever before Reks came and patted me lightly on the head and crouches down so I can get on his back. The last thing I can remember is the door opening and then blackness.

Reks was wrong, they weren't sick, but dying. I had never felt as lost as that day. Oh wait, yes, I have. I sighed as another memory flooded my brain. I could feel my heart plummet and my stomach turn.

Tears poured down my face. I felt hopeless like my life was no longer under my control. My brother was leaving, and most likely never coming back.

"Please don't cry, Vaan, I'm doing this for you." He pulled me gently against himself and stroked my head like he did when I was younger and I had a nightmare. Oh, how I hope this is a nightmare.

"I promise I'll come back." I didn't acknowledge him, all I was able to do was push him away and slip even further down the wall.

I hit the cold stone floor of Penelo's basement and sobbed. Reks knelt down before me and pleaded with me to say something.

I snapped, " Fine, leave, I don't care. Go fight in that pointless war, even though you know it's futile. Go ahead leave me alone even after all we've been through, even though I love you!" I was frantic by now and I had screamed out that I loved him and we both knew that I didn't mean it like that way one sibling would say it to another. I had meant it in the way I shouldn't have, but it's the way I felt, and you can't help the way you feel, right?

I got up and started to pace the small basement, much to my delight the tears had stopped, but I decided not to analyze this, but to push all thoughts from my mind and wait for Reks' reaction. Reks lifted himself off the floor and dusted himself off. He stepped in front of me and grabbed my waist and pulled me so I was flush against him. My mind went blank as I felt his soft lips push against mine. At first I stiffened, but after a while I melted against him and marvelled at how well our bodies fit together, just like two pieces of a puzzle. We pulled apart and took in some much needed air.

"I love you too," Reks whispered into my ear. My heart soared. I don't think I had ever been so happy in my life.

Reks smiled and began to lead me up the stairs "let's get some sleep," he said.

I nodded and let him lead me to our bedroom. I heard sobbing from Penelo's bedroom, but I didn't even think to go and see if she was alright. Reks pushed the door open and led me to our inviting bed. We crawled into it and snuggled up in each other's arms. I just lay in his arms, unable to think for a while, but I finally looked up at my brother who was sleeping peacefully by this point. I rested my head on his shoulder and fell into a dreamless sleep, listening to his heartbeat.

I growled at the bright light that was shining through my window.

'Damn sun.' I placed my hand where Reks slept, but instead of it hitting his hard chest it simply bounced off our bed. I lifted my head and let out a grief-stricken sob, both his sword and his armor were gone. He left without saying good-bye! Suddenly my world went black.

Something warm and wet was streaking down my face. I lifted a hand to my face, I was crying. No matter how hard I try not to think about it, that memory always comes up and it always makes me cry.

So here I stand staring down at a small piece of worthless stone, a war memorial engraved with names of all the people that died from Rabanastre. "Worthless," I muttered. I looked around at all the other people staring at the stone, crying over lost loved ones. I felt sorry for them because I know exactly how it feels, for I lost my one true love. And even then, I knew that I would never find that again and I was right.