The Song of Israfel

It had been a long time since she heard the music of the night. Angela listened to the sounds of crickets playing their song and smiled slightly. It had been a long time and was much different than the music of Purgatory. That music was much more different than the music of hell even. Back here, it was like finding that comfortable coat that made you feel good.

Listening to the music, Angela gave a soft smile as she looked down at what she had been looking at the last few hours while lying on her bed. She flipped the sheet of paper with elegant script over to reveal a picture that had seen better days. Her eyes lighted on it and held the image.

It was one of the pictures that Bobby had taken before he had died. It was one of the times when she had come across three depressed men trying to solve the Leviathan problem and decided they needed a break. At the time she wasn't sure if she was herself or not since it was the time she had trouble separating her and Sam and the whole hallucinations of Lucifer but she succeeded in getting them to pose.

Fine Angie, I'll set the damn thing. What is it with you and pictures? Ya got a ton of them stored in that storage unit…

Angela rubbed her finger over Bobby's smiling face. She missed him. It had been like losing her father all over again. Garth wasn't a replacement but he was a good friend and she liked the guy. He was good at doing what Bobby did best and she told him. In turn, he listened to what she had yet to say. That didn't mean things were better.

Gently slipping the picture aside, she revealed an even more battered picture. It had been taken early on when she joined the boys. It was the one that involved a mishap with the oil line of the Impala. Bobby had been sneaky about the picture but it had the three of them laughing. Dean looked like he was a covert ops guy, Sam was 'Don Sammy' and she had a smudge on her cheek and a spattering on her overalls.

That was a happy time. They were happy, back when things weren't so complicated. It was before she realized how much she loved Sam. They were friends then. Life was simpler if not perfect then. Now it was like the road became much more difficult, bumpy and full of potholes, some with detrimental effects and there seemed to be no way out.

Her eyes roved towards the new computer she had purchased. It was one of those small computers that could be tucked in with a bunch of books. Her eyes looked at the email that she was composing. It was an email long overdue to her friend Akira and she hadn't been by to see the twins who were now two years old. She had missed so much.

The last paragraph was what held her attention the most. She had written that she wasn't even sure that she could do this anymore and that what she had found out what happened that past year… Even though she made the choice, she still wasn't sure that it was the right one and things hadn't been made easier by a lot of things. She went with what she wanted and there was nothing but pain.

She had touched that penny but the specter didn't affect her. She had no resentment. She was not angry at betrayal even though Dean made it clear that she should be. She wasn't angry at all. She had told Sam the truth that first night. Then there was that need for what she had in that place. It was like being on the demon blood again and she didn't know what to do which was the reason for the email that she couldn't finish.

Shuffling her position on her bed, she slid the pictures over and one slid out and hit her hand as she sat up and crossed her legs. With a plain expression, she looked at it and slowly picked it up. She felt her throat convulse slightly as she took in the image of her and Sam standing in front of the entrance to the main temple at Skye Temple. It was when they…

Angela sighed and snapped her computer shut and gathered her papers and went to pack them away. She would give it another day before sending the email. Live another day. It was a motto she had instilled and that was how she was taking this decision that still hung like a weight.

She went to lie back on her bed. It was getting late but she had no desire to get ready for bed. She just stared listlessly at the wall and let her thoughts run through. She couldn't forget much. Freshest in her mind was what Dean's new buddy Benny had said to her. Dean hadn't wanted to listen about what his friend said which was a warning and a threat and she wasn't going to enlighten him or Sam. It was her problem along with that other thing. So she started humming so softly that it broke off while her thoughts wandered to Sam. She debated yet again why she was around when he had been happy and that was most important.

"In Heaven a spirit doth dwell Whose heart-strings are a lute; None sing so wildly well As the angel Israfel."

Angela looked up to see Sam standing inside her room. She did leave the door open to let in the air and because she wanted to hear the music. She wasn't worried since now that she found Moira and Zeppelin, Xander was out there with Kevin, and she could count on Moira to alert her. Sam was looking at her and holding a piece of paper in his hand.

~0~0~

Sam looked at Angela as she stared up at him. The last few days had been rough with the vengeance specter case and it being discovered how she really felt. He never spoke about her reaction when Dean tried to kill him while under the influence but felt that maybe he should have but not while he was pissed off at Dean's crap.

It surprised him that the coin didn't affect her but then again what he saw, he knew wasn't quite her. It was her using her powers as a healer to pull the specter out and locking it back into the coin but Sam could feel a distinct difference. She said nothing about it but handed the coin quietly over to Garth and went about making sure he was okay.

She had been quiet since then and only speaking when spoken to. Sam had been hard put to draw her out and make her understand what he meant about wanting normal since she told him that if that is what he wanted, he wouldn't get it with her around. He knew that but what he wanted was what they had started before the Cage. It wasn't perfect but that was a peace; it was normal even if she could do things that would freak other people out.

He wasn't naïve either to think that they could pick up where they left off. His relationship with Amelia was a stopping block and Angela was making it difficult stating that Amelia was what he was looking for and accepting it. It sounded irrational in his mind to wish that she would at least be angry or act betrayed or something. Yet all he got were smiles and loving gestures. She was hurting and he could feel it and he wanted her to let it out but he knew that it was the one thing that she couldn't just do because that wasn't who she was.

Sam longed to touch her and make her feel what he felt. His physical contact with her had been the gestures they used and the occasional hand squeeze. A couple of times she would reach up and squeeze his shoulder. Anything bigger, he hesitated out of privacy for her to get past being in Purgatory and he wasn't sure if she really felt the same. So he decided to quit talking and start showing her, something that was more effective for emotional situations.

He found her first edition copy of the poem 'The Raven' which had the handwritten poem on the back cover that she once told him had been inspired by her. He copied it in the original form which defined Israfel as female instead of the official published version which gave respect to the one that was mentioned in the Koran and decided to recite it to her.

Standing there looking at her in her open door which was guarded by Moira, he took the moment to study her. He had her attention as he finished the stanza, "And the giddy stars so legends tell Ceasing their hymns, attend the spell Of her voice, all mute."

Sam paused to look at her. Tentatively he moved closer and read more, "But the skies that angel trod, Where deep thoughts are a duty, Where Love's a grown-up God, Where the Houri glances are Imbued with all the beauty Which we worship in a star."

At that point Angela had sat up on her bed and was watching him intently. He continued the poem as he pulled up a chair from the table and sat in it. He glanced at her as he finished, "If I could dwell Where Israfel Hath dwelt, and she were I, She might not sing so wildly well A mortal melody, While a bolder note than this might swell From my lyre within the sky."

When he finished, Sam lowered the paper to look at her and gauge her reaction. It was tense since she had that look she got when she was putting on a poker face but it was mingled with something else and Sam was interested in what that was. He didn't say anything out of fear that she might shout at him or worse kick him out. He just looked at her with a slight pensive look and he felt his throat convulse in nervousness.

It surprised him when Angela slowly leaned forward and gently placed her lips on his. It was a gentle kiss but it seemed to break a dam. When she started to back away, Sam leaned in and captured her lips with his own and coaxed her mouth open to make it deeper. He didn't take advantage of the situation even though the urge was great. He always considered her feelings and preferences.

She broke the kiss and sat back and looked at him. He could see more emotion in her beautiful eyes than what had been there in the time she had come back. Perhaps it was better if he left her to think about it and absorb it. He got up to leave and had turned to ask if she wanted her door closed only to find that she had followed him to the door.

Sam had one hand on the door and the other held the piece of paper with the poem on it. He looked at her, wondering what she was going to do. The next thing he knew was that she had reached up with her hand and slowly ran her fingers through his hair and then cupped his cheek and pulled him in and kissed him again deeply before slowly wrapping her arms around his neck and embraced him.

His own reaction was to release the door knob and the paper and wrap his arms around her waist. Gently he began planting small kisses on her forehead and trailed them down her face and to the side of her neck where the soft part was and gently began kissing and teasing the sensitive flesh with his breath. He felt her response by the near quiet purr growl she had acquired and the brush of her lips on his neck followed by her own teasing breath.

Sam knew what followed after that but he was willing to back off in case she wasn't ready for it. He couldn't help but brush his nose against her neck and breathe in the scent of the wild roses. Even though she had been in Purgatory for a year and fighting for her life, it was still there. It was constant and soothing. He took in another sniff and brought his hand up her back, touching gently the sensitive parts from memory and ran it up her arm to grasp her hand as he pulled away reluctantly to look at her.

The look on her face was encouraging. Her eyes were locked onto his and had lost that blank look she wore constantly and were exhibiting that familiar look she wore whenever she did her patch up jobs; intent but tender. Keeping his gaze on hers, he lifted the hand he was holding and rubbed the underside of her wrist with his thumb. Once it was close enough, he pressed his lips right where he had been rubbing, where the tattoo she acquired a few years ago was.

Angela closed her eyes in pleasure at Sam's touch. Her hand flexed automatically to touch his face. She didn't want it to stop though she probably should. Yet when Sam came in reciting 'Israfel' she was surprised but to hear the poem that was inspired by her in his voice… Then when he kissed her back and deeply… it was like a dam had burst open. She had wanted to touch him more than the hand squeezes and shoulder pats but felt that it wasn't right given the state of things. She had longed for it in Purgatory and the simple gesture of Sam's feelings for her made it come out.

She felt her fingers touch his cheek as she opened her eyes to look into the mossy greens that she loved. Sam's hair was longer and he had stubble but it suited him. She could tell he still used the same aftershave and mouthwash. His eyes though held her attention and they spoke more than all the words he said and what she had picked up through their bond. He still loved her and his actions, as weird as they were to others, proved it. She took the opportunity to use her hand to bring him closer and give another kiss on his lips while the other slowly planted itself on his chest and her fingers curled in that ticklish manner meant to tease.

Sam's breath hitched slightly when she touched his chest and did that tickling thing she did and it drove him crazy. He deepened the kiss she started while his hand tightened around her waist and hip, his thumb made its way under the hem of the shirt she was wearing and brush the warm skin underneath causing her to give a quick intake of breath and continue kissing him with greater intensity and she increased her tickling while her other hand held fast to his head and her fingers curled into his hair before it reached over and shut the door with a decisive click.

It was tempting to pick her up and carry her like he used to but Sam resisted. He could tell that she wanted this as much as he did but he was letting her set the pace with a little push every now and then. Her tickling was driving him insane because it wasn't tickling like she did once when they had been shrunk to the size of kids. This made his body react like his brushing of her scars did to hers. His hand ran down the left side of her neck and slowly pulled the collar of her shirt to expose her collarbone. Breaking the kiss, he turned his attention to her collarbone and started pushing her back into the wall thing she once called prison bars in a weak attempt to separate the threshold from the room.

Angela gasped slightly when Sam started kissing and suckling on her collarbone and took to nibbling on his ear while her hands snaked under his shirt, both of them, and pressed her fingers on his chest and started raking her fingers down, still tickling him. She moved her right hand to where she knew the scar was from his stab wound and touched it with her fingers. Immediately she felt Sam's weight press into her hands as he leaned to place his hand on the wall for support as his attentions deepened.

Sam leaned in to support himself. Her touch just… With his other hand he raised her shirt and danced his fingers where her kidneys were and he could feel the goose bumps rise and her abdomen muscles flexed where his thumb brushed. It was like they were getting back at each other, each taking it to the next level which she did by gently raking her nails down his chest and sidestepping away slightly and he was aware of a slight moan of disappointment that escaped when the warmth of her collarbone left his lips.

He gave chase and followed slowly and backed her into the flat end of the wall and looked at her in the eye. He wanted to make sure if she wanted to continue and his answer was her teasing him by running her fingers on his lips. He gave a gentle nip of her forefinger before kissing her on the lips and trailing them down the right side of her neck to that side of her collarbone to give it the same treatment as the other one. With one hand supporting the back of her head, the other began to slowly work on the buttons of her shirt, undoing each one slowly and allowing more of her collarbone to be exposed. He was aware that his larger hands were brushing the exposed skin as each button came undone.

Angela had begun nibbling Sam's other ear and giving teasing breaths to his neck when she felt her shirt begin to slide away and expose her shoulders. Her hands touched his arms and stroked them and wrapped her fingers to feel the muscles of his biceps and forearms. Her abdomen flexed at the sudden exposure to air as he undid the last button and reached in to cup her back and her hips bucked to brush against him. Her hand slid to grasp the hem of his shirt and started tugging it up.

Sam obliged and helped her tug it off exposing his chest as she flung it aside. It surprised him when she pressed her lips to his chest. He felt his body react to the warmth of her breath and he pulled her in close. Brushing her hair aside and pulling gently on her shirt to expose her shoulders he bent to tease her skin on the back near her tattoo. Her hands were wreaking havoc on his back and abdomen and he retaliated by teasing her abdomen until she jumped and wrapped her arms around his neck and sought his lips. His hands caught her by the hips and her legs wrapped around his waist.

Sam continued to kiss her as he moved over to the bed carrying her with ease. Somehow her shirt managed to get flung aside before he pressed her down. His hands were pinned by the bed and her back but he could still move them and he tickled her spine with his fingers as they moved up to where the point of no return was. He fingered the clasps for a moment as he paused to look at her again. When he felt her palms brush his lower back, he knew and with ease, he undid the clasps of her bra and started down the path of no return and to dance the song of Israfel.

~0~0~

It was quiet as the moonlight filtered through the curtains and illuminated the darkness of the room. To Sam, it was peaceful since he could hear the sounds of the things that came out at night like the crickets and the soft breaths that were coming from Angela as she rested her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. The arm he had wrapped around her was still except for the slight movement of his wrist as he stroked her bare arm.

Sam stared up at nothing in particular. It had been like a homecoming just touching her like he used to but he couldn't help but feel that maybe he should have been the grownup and taken a step back. He loathed to think that he may have cheapened his attempt to show her that he was serious about him and her and even the fact that he paused to silently ask her if she wanted to failed to assuage the thoughts that threatened. He hated seeing her hurt and it made him feel worse if he did it even if it was over something that she would say was no big deal.

"Your thoughts are rather loud," Angela said softly as she kept her ear pressed to Sam's chest and listened to his heartbeat. She stared ahead at nothing and adjusted her arm that was wrapped around his torso.

Sam glanced down at her head and moved his hand to stroke the dark locks that had fallen loose from the braid she wore. He replied, "Just... thinking." He sighed a bit wondering how to say what he wanted to say without making it sound wrong. "Just thinking that… I didn't want to pressure you."

"You didn't," Angela replied. She had felt the same but she wanted it; she wanted his touch. The caresses he gave her the night they reunited, it only started that longing and she tried to be strong because it didn't seem right. Not with the situation regarding Dean and then occasionally catching a glimpse of Sam sort of spacing out because he was remembering the past year. "I… I wanted it. I just wanted to give you space."

Sam gave a slight hum as he brushed his cheek on the top of her head. "I thought I was doing right by giving you your space. It's hard to watch you back away when all I want to do is just hold you, help you, worry about you… all the things that matter with you." He took a breath and added, "I should have stood up for you more though."

Angela turned her head to look up at Sam. "You say the strangest of things," she replied in her soft tone. "But it is you and it makes me love you all the more. I don't carry a grudge over that. It is what it is. Pick your battles."

Since she had propped herself up to get a better look at him, Sam could see that she was being honest. It was like talking to Garth who said that eventually he let it go. The difference though was that it was like the saying of once bitten and twice shy or something like that. She backed away but it didn't make him feel better about the whole thing.

He reached up with his right hand and cupped her cheek to rub it gently. "I know but sometimes you have to fight back. It's that part of you that… it's one of the things I love best about you and when you don't fight back it hurts." He studied her face unaware that he was being expressive about how he felt about the whole thing.

Angela looked at Sam as she caressed the hand that was caressing her cheek. "I'm sorry. I guess we are the same in that we take it when we think we deserve to be punished. Silent tormentors I guess."

"Absolution, Angie. Remember?" Sam had been seized with a sudden fit of remembrance when she told him that after he and Dean separated. "It's a work in progress."

Angela smiled slightly. She did remember that. It also reminded her of her newest problem which she needed to address. She buried it though as she studied Sam. "You always could remember everything I say."

"Because it comes from your heart. Everything worth anything always came from your heart."

It wasn't flattery and they both knew that. Sam had always been able to see it. Even the things that pissed him off he could see where she was coming from and he would say so when he cooled down. Angela knew that Sam was telling the truth because he always strove to be honest with her. There was nothing she could say that would trump that so she leaned in and gave a soft kiss to his lips and then went back to resting her head on his chest and her arm hugged his torso.

Sam responded by hugging her back and giving a kiss to the top of her head. Resting his cheek on her head, he started stroking her hair again. After a few moments, he heard her humming softly a nameless tune but it bore its weight in the emotions that welled up in his chest. Her voice grew a little louder but still sounded soft, blending with the night.

Sam had read the poem 'Israfel' before he recited it and read the bit about that angel in a translated version of the Koran. He believed that angel did have the sweetest voice of God's creatures but it wasn't a guy angel. Israfel was here with him and singing her song as she always did.

Her actions and words were guided by her heart. She made connections where people saw none and she strove to make harmony, not chaos. Sam knew she wasn't perfect because she had her human flaws like everyone else. Yet everything she did came straight from the heart and in some cultures the heart meant the soul. He would know since she was a part of him just as he was a part of her.

Sam listened to Angela sing her tune until she died it down and drifted off to sleep. He held her in his arms as if to make a promise he would do better by her and would be there to help her. He had forgotten that and a brief conversation with Garth reminded him of his private promise to never take her for granted. It was why he made the choice to recite that poem. It probably was weird since it wasn't candy and flowers but that was not how their relationship was. It worked though to bring out what she was truly feeling and it was a start. He closed his eyes as he rested his head against hers and allowed sleep to come with the song of Israfel still hanging in his ears and the memory in his body.

A/N: Just something that my mind wouldn't let go after seeing Southern Comfort. The poem that Sam recites is 'Israfel' written by Edgar Allen Poe. Enjoy even if it is a little steamy...