Wow I didn't think so many people would read my little story I'm touched. I re-wrote the chapter. The story is the same, I just added to it. Enjoy
I have to warn people that this is my first GWTW fanfic. So please be gentle and nice. Although constructive criticism is welcomed. I can't spell to if you see any spelling errors let me know. Oh I have no ownership of anything relating to Gone with the Wind. It is the sole property of Margaret Mitchell. Sadly L but one can dream.
The weather reflected his current state of mind Stormy, windy, unpredictable,and simply unbearable. He knew he was surrounded by people. It seemed all of Atlanta was present, even the distinguished "Old Guard" was in attendance. They had all come to see for themselves if it was true she was dead and to pay their last respects to a woman whose courage, and beauty many admired. The irony of the "Old Guard's" presence was not lost to Rhett. In life they had ostracized her, but in death she was once again regarded as one of them. Perhaps it had been Melanie's doing, in all he was torn part of him was glad they were here showing that despite everything she was still respected while the other side of him wanted the ground to open up and swallow them all . The sight of them only served to arouse his already troubled mind.
"I taught her not to care about them," He thought, " I showed her how to break their strict moral code, to sneer at their traditions, and how to completely rebel to their entire way of life. And after she had completely broken away from them after she had done everything I instructed he to do what did I do, I stabbed her in the back. Once her reputation had been irreversibly stained. I changed my tune. I used Bonnie to charm my way into their good graces, and left her on a rapidly sinking ship with no mean of escape knowing she would drown alone.
He watched the funeral ceremony as a critic reviewing a new show, patiently watching the scene unfold upon the stage before his eyes anticipating what would come next. In a moment of denial he wished for all of this to be a horrible dream. He wanted to wake up, and see her lying next to him. Sadly, nothing occurred the funeral continued.
In all his life he had never left more alone or numb. His inability to display any emotions kept him from losing what little sanity he had left. He figured could possibly affect him, because she was gone. The only person who he had truly loved. Every moment they had spent together came back to him. A small crack appeared on the dam he had constructed around himself, and suddenly the was overwhelmed with the feeling the memories stirred in him.
Memories of her dancing, laughing, the first day he saw her, and the handful of times when she had left her guard down and demonstrated that affection for him bombarded his thoughts and threatened to destroy his fragile composure. Yes, the memories he reasoned would be his greatest treasure and his biggest torture, because with the good came the bad. In their turbulent relationship the bad seemed to be more prevalent.
Rhett Butler had accomplished many things in his life, but the one thing he had wanted in this world was Scarlett's love. If he had been blessed with that he could have lived a happy man. Scarlett only needed to say those three little words and he would hake lavished her with everything she could have possibly wanted. He would have made sure to protect her from the cruel hardships of life, and taken her anywhere in the world if she so desired it. But in this world we seldom get what we want, those world were never direct towards him, and in his desperation he had lashed out at her. He had belittled her treated her like a shiny trophy to be displayed to the word, out of spitefulness he had mocked her taste, her education, her social standing, and anything else he could think of that would ignite her temper. In doing so her now realized he had only caused her to idolize Ashley and despise him. He came out of his meditation, only vaguely aware that the sermon was almost over.
"The only thing we can do for her is pray for her eternal rest. We must resign our selves to God's will, trust in his infinite wisdom, and seek his help to guide us through this devastating times. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen."
It was obvious the priest had not known her because the sermon was too generic. It could have been for anyone, and she was unlike anything he had ever seen.
She had possessed passion,life, and an iron-will determination to overcome anything life threw in her way. He had admired her tremendously for that, he knew other who had crumbled under half the pain, suffering she had faced.
Resign himself he wanted to laugh at the idea. How was he supposed to resign himself to her death when she had been his life? When the simple motion of never smelling her perfume or having her next to him at night nearly made his heart stop. How could he go one knowing he would never see her again. He would never hear her laughter or see her face light up when he gave her a present. How was he supposed to deal the pain? The pain that threaten to consume him slowly killing him form within. How?
He thought all his tears had been shed. He had conceived him that he could feel nothing, but when the coffin was being lowered, the dam started to crack. When the gravediggers began to fill her grave, it was almost too much for him. At that moment he would have given everything he had to trade places with her. "It should be me in that coffin," he angrily thought "not her."
"If only I had shallowed my pride and reached her faster, perhaps she would still be here." If only I had confronted her the morning after Ashley's party, but no I choose the coward's way out. I could face war, storms, thieves, and numerous other dangers, but no my own wife. I ignored her pleas and later her letters demanding I bring Bonnie, because I couldn't handle seeing her. And because I wanted Scarlett O'Hara to feel a fraction of the pain I endured on a daily basis. I wanted her to beg me to come back. I wanted to have some dominion over her even if I had to use her own daughter against her."Life had made him pay dearly for his arrogance. He would live with that guilt for the rest of his life plagued with thoughts of what could have been.
Once the gravediggers were done, the people started to slowly leave. The overpowering combination of deep sorrow and extreme guilt was tearing him apart, and the mighty, seemingly invincible, adventurous blockade runner, and nonchalant Rhett Butler much to the astonishment of everyone fell on his knees at the foot of the grave, and started to cry. At that moment he did not appear to be a strong man, but a poor lost little boy whose dreams had been shattered and was being forced to face the cruel realities of life. "I can't do this without you Scarlett. How I'm a supposed to take care of the children. How can I look them in the eye when it's my fault your dead. I killed their mother. I'm sorry. I only wanted you to love me. I only wanted you to love me. " He felt someone put her hand on his shoulder, but he didn't care. The only thing he wanted was to cry for a lost dream, a lost cause, and a lost love.
The tombstone was of moderate size made of course of the finest marble. Even in death she demanded the best. The overall design was simple and elegant. The only thing about the tombstone that distinguished it from a sea of graves was the name. It had been beautifully and meticulously carved in an intricate design from gold. When the sun finally appeared and shined on it, it glowed and seemed to be something out of this world. To everyone present it seemed like a truly breathtaking monument a fitting tribute to the amazing person who was buried there. The woman who had broken every expectation and rule who had done everything in her power to make sure her family was safe .The one and only unforgettable Scarlett O'Hara Butler. May she rest in peace.