Jacob's POV:

My eyes darted back and forth crazily, my body shaking uncontrollably. Sam laid a hand on my shoulder. "Don't do anything stupid," he muttered blandly.

I was trying to listen, but being in the Volturi just sent me over the edge. The reason we were even there was stupid.

And they were out to get me. I knew it.

We walked into a circular room with chairs all around it. Bella, who was standing next to me, grabbed her blood sucker's hand. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Almost touching me. Paranoia kicked in.

I screamed and jumped about a foot in the air like a little girl. "EEEEEWWWW IT ALMOST TOUCHED MEEEEEEE!!" I hid behind Sam who just stood there staring at the scene blankly.

Our entourage did not notice the whole Volturi staring at us with a surprised look.

Bella walked over and grabbed my hand. "And how does that make you feel?" she asked pulling out a notebook and pen.

I screamed bloody murder at pointed at the pen like a little girl. "YOU'RE GOING TO SHANK ME!!" I hid behind Sam once again. He yawned.

Edward burst into tears. "Why can't we all get along?!" Bella walked over to him and calmly asked, "Why don't you explain to me why you are concerned?" He nodded and said some things. Bella continued to scribble things on her notepad.



Carlisle whistled at a vapire passing by and grabbed her miniskirt butt. "Looking good Heidi." She giggled and walked off, wagging a bit.

Esme sighed and rubbed her temples. "This is too much for me."

Rosalie moaned, "Emmet, go get me foooood!"

Emmet, the big one, roared and punched the nearest wall. "NOOOOO!!" he yelled, flailing at the wall full-force.

Bella walked over. "Now Emmet-" she couldn't finish before he socked her in the stomach and sent her flying across the room into a cloaked vampire with black hair the same color.

When he saw Bella, he pulled her into a tight hug and exclaimed, "Oh dear it is such a blessing to see you! I missed you so much!"

I heard Edward wail, so I turned to look at him.

He collapsed to the ground and wailed, "Now my love left me for Aro! What shall I do?!"

Carlisle ignored his adopted son's cries and turned to his other adoptive daughter Alice. "New purse?" he asked, his eyebrows wiggling.

"Mhmm," she said happily and went into a long story of all of her millions of purses that she had at home.

Carlisle cut her off by covering her mouth and murmered flirtatiously in her ear: "You're a packrat, but it's sexy."

Jasper went down on his knees. "Noo!" he screamed, pulled out a knife, and slit his wrist continuously. He then looked down at the mess for a moment then screamed, "OH MY GOD BLOOOD!" He bent down and licked it up.

"Ok," Aro said, finally letting go of Bella. "I have called you all here today to announce that I am not pleased with the destruction going on in Forks." He took a deep breath and continued. " So I have come to a very necessary conclusion. I have decided that until all of you can get along, you will be staying at my house with my brothers."

All of us stared.

Edward broke down crying.