Of His Bones Are Coral Made
Dear rabbit, my legs are getting weak... chasing you
And the snowfields... Wouldn't seem so big, if you knew
That this blood on my teeth, it is far beyond dry...
And I've captured you once, but it wasn't quite right...So I'm tellin' you.. That you'll be safe with me.
Humans were a strong species, but when death was imminent, it didn't matter how valiant of a fight was put up, the final result had long been determined. Of course, there were always those who chose honor in the form of acceptance. To know one's time is up and to allow it to happen took as much valor as fighting tooth and nail for survival.
He hadn't fought for over four years and he wasn't about to start now.
The pain was slow to hit him at first, momentarily drowned out by the instinctive shock the body put itself into. It almost made it seem like he had a chance and he might've believed it if he weren't smart enough to know otherwise.
Accepted or not, death was a patient lover who waited as long as it took. Although in this case it certainly seemed like death was impatient; cutting A's life off at a remarkably short nineteen years.
His hand faltered against B's shirt, but caught on the buttons and held on there, no strength to grasp it and merely resting where it fell. With his other hand he went to his stomach, moving slowly inward against cotton until it felt soaked underneath his fingers and they struck against cold and cruel steel.
The knife really was there. He'd been stabbed. B had stabbed him.
As he sank down to his knees, B's hand came up against his back and guided him to the ground. It was cold, felt freezing compared to the heat pouring from his belly. His eyes watered from something that was not the pain. Was it relief?
It was.
Tears soaked his cheeks and wet the collar of his shirt, small drops catching on his lips, still glossy from earlier.
He was in shock entirely by now and it made it difficult to concentrate, to hear B talking to him, his voice low and shaking.
"-slow deep breaths.."
A closed his eyes when he felt the other slide his fingers over his cheeks, drying the tears. His fingers were soft and still smelled of strawberry jam. He began to take slower inhales as he had told him to do, but it didn't stop his heart from beating wildly.
"Today?" He whispered, wet lashes batting against his face as he opened his eyes again, vision cleared from the tears. At least for now.
"Today." Came the answer.
He watched his lower lip tremble and fumbled to grab B's free hand, lacing their fingers together when he found it. "Don't cry."
"I'm only doing this because I promised." He snapped, hanging his head. "Because you begged me to."
"I know." A breathed, reaching up to touch his cheek. "Thank you.. You're so strong, B. You're the only one I could trust to do this for me."
B squeezed his hand and drew circles on the back of A's hand with his thumb. "I'm supposed to be the one comforting you right now, but it's the other way around.."
"I don't think so. Everything will.. end for me. You have to endure it.. So you need the comfort more."
Their lips met briefly and A had to wonder if the iron taste of blood was from his mouth or B's, who all too often bit down too rough on his skin.
"Aren't you scared?"
A shook his head. No, he hadn't been afraid of death. Maybe it was because he'd been so ill as a child and was constantly staring death in the face. Maybe he simply lacked the sense to fear the unknown that was death.
"No." He mumbled, only now becoming aware of the rattling in his chest each time he inhaled. "I guess more than anything I feel cheated."
"Cheated?"
"I'd always wanted to grow old... with you."
His eyelids were growing heavy but he refused to give in and close them. He wanted to memorize the other boy's face. He wanted to remember every detail, even if there was no such thing as an afterlife and nothing existed to remember at all, whether it was Heaven or Hell, it would be a little more bearable this way.
"Heh.." B offered him a chaste kiss. "You'd never be able to put up with me that long."
"Managed it this long haven't I?"
"I s'pose so."
The shock from the stabbing was beginning to wear off and with it, the numbness and blindness to the pain. It returned like a flood, pouring over every nerve, splitting them open and leaving them raw. His lungs ached when he inhaled, when he could inhale through the tons of weight on his chest. Weakness took him next, cruelly ripping his fingers away from B's face to lay limp against the concrete.
B took the fallen hand in his, now clutching them both in his light grip. "It'll be over soon. I promise." He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Why did you need me to do this?"
"Even if i'm not scared of dying, dying alone would have been worse than this... and I didn't want to worry you. I didn't want.. to just not come home one day.. I wanted us both to know when it was going to happen and how.. I guess I thought it'd hurt less."
"Well it doesn't." B replied, squeezing his hands. "It doesn't lessen the pain at all. You're still dying. You're still leaving me, A."
"I don't want to." He whispered, meekly hoping that the blood that was filling his mouth was not yet visible on his lips. "B, you know I love you-"
"Don't!" B growled, shaking his head.
"-I always have-"
"Stop it!" Beyond screamed, releasing A's hands to strike at the ground beside them both. "I'm not ready to say goodbye! I'm not ready-!" He slumped forwards, resting his head on A's chest, his face hidden in the soft cotton. "I can't. Not now.. not yet.."
A dug deep to find the strength to move his arms, raising them up to then drop over B's back. The hug had no grip to it, but he enjoyed the warmth nonetheless. Every time he swallowed down the blood, more rose up his throat to replace it. He was barely getting any air in now and the pain of trying was overwhelming, but he said nothing of it to B. He just let him cry and soak his shirt with something other than his own blood.
"Promise me.. promise me you'll let yourself be happy again."
"I can't."
"Please.. I need.. I need to know you'll be okay. Promise me."
B grit his teeth and raised his head, looking A in the face with tears streaming down his cheeks. "I promise." he choked out before he hid again, pulling A's body up off the concrete and against his own, cradling him tightly, as if it just might give them more time.
A smiled as his chin dropped forwards to leave his head resting over B's shoulder. Blood dripped from his parted lips, spilling down the back of B's shirt. He felt his fingers run into his hair just before all feeling was lost and closed his eyes in acceptance.
B whispered in his ear, voice shaking and solemn, "I promise, Alisx." only for it to fall on deaf ears.
He'd never seen him drink a single cup of coffee but his shirts always smelled like they were soaked in the bitter bean. Every morning he would find himself face first in the cotton, missing the warmth from his body before unashamedly holding it to his still naked body.
Even now he found himself to be a creature of habit, following a routine from a life that no longer existed.
Beyond sleepily opened his eyes to check the time. It was still plenty early, but it always felt late to him now. There simply wasn't enough time. There never had been.
After a shower to drown out his thoughts, he dressed and left the house. It was a full hour drive but he did it almost every day.
Arriving at his destination, he grabbed a bag from the backseat and began the trek through the wooded area. When he got to the edge of a rugged, rocky cliffside, B sat down with his legs dangling from the side and opened the bag.
He looked out at the lake, blue water shimmering in the slow rising sun and opened up the book and continued to read a story that had he'd begun some time ago, to someone who wasn't here to hear the ending. He read outloud his fingers shaking, until it came to an end and he could do nothing else but close the book and leave it on his lap.
He watched the colors of the sky change from orange and pink to varying shades of blue and let out a breath of air he'd held in til now.
A smile was forced to his lips, though by now it wasn't so hard and it had begun to feel more natural as time went on.
"I promise, A."
/ Woah hello _
It's probably been over a year or so since I last published anything so here, have some gay trash about my dead otp B and A
please note the A in this is my own interpretation of A, someone I rp frequently.
Enjoy ;v;