'Pacey, I Chose You'
Joey and Pacey have sailed away on the True Love just after Joey chose Pacey over Dawson. This is in the middle of their trip, and they are in the boat which they have docked at a harbour.
(please note: this is not a follow up of my other story. This is just a different imagining of their summer at sea).
'Jo?'
'Yes Pace?'
Pacey kept quiet, although his arm was still around her, and the whole bulk of his body felt warm against hers. She placed her hand over his chest, moving closer to him still on the sofa bed and took in his familiar scent of sea salt and laundry powder, with just a hint of dirt. She could hear the sea swaying slightly outside, and see the first signs of dusk begin to form in the sky. She shifted her gaze steadily up to Pacey. His eyes were focussed down on her and as soon hers were on his, he reached down, grinned and said,
'This.'
Then he kissed her gently on the forehead.
She grinned also and then their eyes met. She loved it when he grinned, it was like his big brown eyes danced. And when they were focussed on her, it was even better. And then his grin subsided slightly, and his eyes glazed over hers like she was the only person in the world. She loved it so, so much when he did that. It was the look that said he loved her just as much as she loved him.
He placed one hand around her waist, pulling her closer in, his eyes on her the whole time. And when he placed his lips on hers gently, she kissed him back, and he sighed very, very, slightly.
Pacey was so great, she thought. He knew she didn't want to get all physical too soon, and he respected that. And for that she just wanted to kiss him even more. She closed her eyes, and opened her mouth and made their kiss deeper, moving closer in, placing one hand on his hard and muscled shoulder. He kissed her back, moaning slightly, his breath quickening. He smoothed his hand from her waist to all over her back as he pulled her gently in. Her breath quickened and she moaned too. She could feel his large warm hands caressing her and she kissed him even more. Her hand touched his face, then his hair, running her fingers through the lush, thick strands. She just wanted to be closer to him, to feel him, taste him...
But then he pulled back. He moved his hands off her, and sat up on the sofa bed his breath slowing quietly. But she wasn't upset, or offended. This is what Pacey always did. He knew she didn't want to go too far. He placed his hands around her shoulders and pulled her up so she was sitting next to him. And then he kissed the top of her head.
'Pace'?
'Yes Jo?'
'Well, I probably don't say this enough, but I love your hair.'
'My hair?' he asked sarcastically, turning around to face her, grinning slightly.
'We just had, even if I do say myself, one fantastic make out session, and all you have to say for yourself is that you love my hair?'
He reached up and grabbed some of his hair, rolling his eyes and then looking into hers.
'Yes Pace!' She laughed and ran her fingers through it again. She took in the deep brown tones and the thick, lushness of it.
'Actually it's one of the things I really like about you. I really do love your hair!'
'Oh', Pacey said laughing, 'Are you sure it's as good as Dawson's beautiful blonde mane?'
She stopped laughing and sat up straight. He'd done it again. Bought up Dawson. She'd done all she could to reassure him that she had picked him. She had picked Pacey, not Dawson. But every now and then he would bring it up.
She stood up and started to walk towards the small desk in the corner.
'Jo! Come back here. Look I didn't mean...'
She looked at him.
'It's fine Pace. I just have letters to send. We've been laying around for far too long!' She said laughing.
Joey sat writing letters home for a while, while Pacey went up to deck. A while later, he went back down and saw a couple of letters, addressed and ready to send on the desk, and one unfinished one, which read only two simple words, 'Dear Dawson'. Joey was nowhere around, so Pacey picked up the other letters and looked through them. There was one to Bessie and one to Jack, Jen and Andie. But it was Dawson's letter that was unfinished.
'Pacey?'
Joey was standing behind him, bathed in the light of the dusk coming down from the deck.
'What are you doing?'
'Finding it hard to write to Dawson I see?' he scowled, placing the unfinished letter in her hands.
'Pacey? How many times do I have to tell you? I chose you! Of course it's going to be hard writing to Dawson. He's upset that I didn't choose him!'
'But it's more than that though isn't it? It always has been.'
Pacey headed up to deck.
'Pacey, wait!'
Joey climbed up, but it was too late. Pacey had already left the boat and was halfway along the harbour.
Joey was sat on the wooden deck on the harbour, next to their boat. It reminded her of home, and while Pacey was gone, she needed that. The sunset and the warm balmy evening air soothed her as she bathed her feet in the lukewarm water which rippled around her ankles.
'Joey?'
It was Pacey. She turned around and saw him standing there. He looked more tired than he had done before, as if he'd been angry, but had now calmed down.
But there was something different about him. All of his hair was shaved off. She stood up and walked over to him on the wooden planks of the harbour deck. He had called her name, but he was just standing, facing the ocean, his eyes staring out and his hands in his pockets. She walked right up to him and touched his head gently, feeling the bristly hairs.
He closed his eyes, removed one hand from his pocket and gently reached out for her hand that was touching his head, pulling her in and holding her. She stood there, feeling his warm embrace, but she still felt unsettled.
'Pacey?' she said gently. 'I was worried about you...no actually, I was more than worried...'
She inched away from him, untangling her hand from his.
'I was angry. I'm still angry!' she said.
'All I did was write a letter to Dawson and you get all annoyed and just go off for ages! And you've shaved your head! What's that all about!'
Pacey clenched up.
'I left Jo' He said wearily, 'Because of Dawson. You managed to write those other letters to Bessie and Jack, Jen and Andie perfectly well. But Dawson... You obviously were thinking a lot about what you were gonna write to him weren't you?'
'No Pace...'
'He's always gonna be lurking there, the one who's known you longer, the one you have everything to say too. Tell me Jo, do you wish you had stayed with him? Especially now, seeing as I don't have any of that hair you love!'
He ran his fingers over the top of his head and marched over to the edge of the deck, facing the boats.
She sighed and followed him. She stood behind him and touched the back of his head, running her fingers over it the way she had earlier when he still had hair there. Then she touched his back and pulled him around to face her, looking into his eyes.
'Dawson will always be special to me. I've been friends with him for years. And after what's just happened...he was so broken up about the fact I didn't choose him. And I haven't spoken to him since. I have to consider his feelings in that letter. It's not easy to write.'
She could feel the evening air getting cooler as she stood with Pacey, the dim lights from the front of the harbour behind her the only light as dusk turned into dark.
'But Pacey, I chose you.Do you really think I would have come out on the True Love if I wasn't sure? Sailed away and left my family and friends behind if I didn't really mean it? You know me Pace, I just wouldn't do that. You're the one I want. Not Dawson. And it was never your hair that attracted me! I mean, I liked your hair, of course I did, but I like you more.'
He laughed. A low laugh, and placed his arms around her. 'I know Potter. I was just angry. And I just sort of felt like shaving my hair off...'
Then he stopped laughing and looked into her eyes. 'I also know that you wanted to choose me. I just get worried about the whole Dawson thing from time to time. Do you forgive me?'
'Yes. Of course. Just don't pull a stunt like that again!'
'You mean the hair shaving?' Pacey mocked.
'No, the wandering off of course!'
And they both laughed. Then Joey shivered. Pacey wrapped his arms around her, soothing her from the cold. 'Come on Potter, let's get you inside...' he said, his warm hand holding hers as they both raced into the boat, laughing as they went.
Inside, they almost fell onto the sofa bed, Pacey holding onto her hand. 'Is this the part where we kiss and make up?' he said, as they faced each other, his hand gently caressing the side of her face. 'Because I like that part' he grinned.
'I like that part too', she laughed as he cupped both hands around her face, his warm lips meeting hers. She kissed him back, caressing his back, one hand on his shoulder, then she reached up to run her hand over his hair...and she pulled back laughing. He laughed too.
Then he did his mock serious voice, 'It will grow back you know'.
'I know Pace! But you know it doesn't matter anyway. I mean I hardly notice, when you're here kissing me.' She said it laughing, but she meant it. And he knew she meant it.
And then she kissed him again, passionately, and deeper. She really did want him. Only him. The feel of his warm hands made her tremble as he touched her hair, and felt around her waist, kissing her with urgency. They tumbled down onto the bed, and she pulled him closer, feeling his strong, hard muscles and taking in his scent, of sea water and laundry powder. He moaned and caressed her back gently, but passionately. She sighed and moaned, desperate for more.
But then he slowed down and pulled back, just as he always did. Just as they both wanted it for now. And then they both lay there, arms entwined, their panting breath slowing down. And she could hear the gentle sea breeze outside while the dim light of moon filtered in through the window. And then Pacey gently kissed her forehead, and she wondered, what was he ever worried about? He was all she could ever want. And then she laughed to herself. Hair or not.